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June 09, 2009 |
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Read My Poems
FOUND by Mrs. Smith
in California
As a high school teacher, I often find interesting things. I have the habit of picking up crumpled balls of notebook paper and unwrapping them to see what's inside, before tossing them in the trash bin. Sometimes it's trash, sometimes treasure. No one at school knows I am a found hound; otherwise I would suspect this of being planted. I found it neatly folded on the floor, just outside my classroom door. It's almost as if it were waiting there for me to find. It's so odd the way the dialogue turns from philosophical to earthy. Although the handwriting changes, the writing tools remain consistent. Very strange.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
So "Mrs. Smith" -- if indeed that is your real name -- Are you the Great Evil of which they speak? Are you also friends with David? Why haven't you taught your students how to spell "fourtane"? Do you also find that some of your students are hott and that they look sexy? Have you had the opportunity to (Read their poems) and/or drift among the ones you hold close? Also, WTF.
Thank you.
Another blasted rejection note! Maybe this kid's fortune/future IS set in stone. At least he foreknew that telling her would disturb the balance. Then the fates drove him eventually to ask her if she'd go wiht him. His only comforts at the end are that they'd used up so much of the paper that her "I'm just not that into you" had to be writ small, and that she didn't use exclamation points with hearts under them.
Maybe Aaron's real problem was that he got to the point too quickly. (which can be a recurring problem for them young fellers, too)
Don't tell Ahmed, Carson, or Sanwe.
OK, yeah--so the guy tried playing the "sensitive poet" card, since he's not funny enough to do the "wild and crazy guy" thing, and doesn't have his own car. So it's "read my poems, I'm baring my creative soul." Except his grasp of vocabulary is a bit wonky--"adverted" means "noticed", not prevented, which would be "averted." She's already smelling a rat, but "you're welcome my love, so do you want to do it?" is just too obvious. He wants to "do it"--have sex--but she is so turned off he quickly tries to backpedal and turn it into "do you want to go out with me." Epic fail. He gets the expected response: "No, sorry."
The writers must be Aaron and Rachael.
Alright, there are 2 sets of writers here. The first set are two friends, probably girls, one of whom is a cool bohemian member of some sort of vampire club or witch covenant, and the other is trying to belong or get in.
The correspondence is abandoned by those two at "Just answer it."
Then, it looks like two others found it, and ridiculed the other two by continuing it in a facetious manner. Those second two were probably more mainstream than vampires. Like cheerleaders or something.
Ahh... high school...
PS 454 divided by 2 is what? Are you kidding?! ask me stuff I know!
"The Passed Note of J. Alfred Prufrock"
Should I eat a peach or are you just pulling my leg?
Do I dare to ask?
ok... wow. This is crazy. What does 'fourtane' mean? i can't even get the gist of it from that sentence. And why does magnify make it smaller????
Ah yes, the joys of high school. I lean towards Sheina's diagnoses. Those years are filled with emotional trauma, drama,cliques,bullying, rejection, fast romances, etc. In high school I was also too quick to "get to the point". Fortunately I was soon ready to make another point, but not always to the same one. This note brought out some insightful commentary.
man that Aaron kid just won't give up!
Sounds like a case of GSAD.
Goth Seasonal Affect Disorder.
And I take that back about her not using hearts. Look at the response to hearing the poet guy tell her she's "hott" and looks sexy [by the way, would anyone here want to read poems written by a guy who wrote that line?]: she writes "THANK Y[heart]U".
Run, Aaron, run!
It covers all the pertinent points of dramatic highschooly stuff: life and death, bleak of winter, hott and sexy.
Also, it's got a great beat and you can dance to it. I give it a ten, Dick.
Pulling my leg? Feel it in my bone?
Where's Flargy with a shitty joke?
Kenneth wasn't really into poetry and all, but he really liked Kendra and they were clearly meant for each other because their names matched. Trying to impress her, he told her about his premonitions, but Kendra believed the future wasn't set in stone. Then Roy butted in and told her she was hott and sexy, right when Kenneth was about to make his move. Luckily she said no and he laughed and ran away (she was a freak despite her hotness). Kenneth was safe to tell her his feelings some other time.
The handwriting changes drastically after "just answer it." I agree with Sheina. Unless it's written by one person who happens to have 4 personalities, in which case one of them is probably named Sibyl.
PS: does spelling hot with 2 t's mean something that my 37-year-old brain can't wrap around (or is it, wrapp aroundd?)?
@ Alvocado ... I think it's pronounced "H-O-tittie"
That help?
uh...I couldn't read this. The magnify tool made it worse.
So, just going what the comments are, I am assuming the writing is original. I just watched The Squid and the Whale and got a kick out of the kid who tried to pass a Pink Floyd song off as his own.
I'm with Sheina too.
Aside from that, I love this post.
Librarian, that comment about h-o-tittie made me lawl for a long time haha. But yeah I think the two goth kids stopped writing it after just answer it and someone else decided to make fun of the note probably with the hopes of keeping it but lost it through the day. Its a funny note all the same, but it makes me think these kids are trying too hard to be goth.
My work supervisor referred to me as goth once in an annual review, which is laughable to anyone who knows me.
yay for Sheina. i totally agree this note is in two pairs. the first two, though they misspell fortune and avert, at least try to have a decent vocabulary. but "hott" and "your" in place of you're shows the intelligence level dropped after the "just answer". i love this note. makes my head reel with sympathy and embarrassment.
No, Kermit, I am not the Great Evil of which they speak. I am a simple found fanatic. And Mrs. Smith is not my real name. Nor is California my real location at this time. But the rest of the story is true. And this is a great find, n'est-ce pas?