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August 01, 2006 |
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Shoot David For Money
FOUND by Adam Skinner
in Ontario, Canada
I found this on the way home from school on the ground.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
This would solve two of my biggest problems... thanks!
If this was found neat a school, it makes me think that someone is willing to kill someone else for ten dollars. That's more than a little chilling.
This made me think it was some kind of carnival game/sideshow, for some reason. I pictured it kind of like a twisted version of the "dunking tank" gone horribly wrong. And there was a big sign saying, "Hur-ry, hur-ry, hur-ry! Shoot David, prices start at a dollar, just depends on where you wanna shoot him on his body! Hurry hurry hurry! Step Right up! That's right! You can now shoot David for money! You got 10 bucks? Well for THAT, you can shoot him in his head! C'mon, shoot your works! 5 bucks, No problem! for that 5 dollars, you get to shoot him right in the belly, my friend! Test your aim and--OK, I think you get the point. Maybe they used paint balls instead of bullets. I would certainly hope so, anyway.
The other thing that hit me is "Jesus, this guy sure is a good bargain." If I ever wanted someone shot, I'd just be able to go to the cash machine and withdraw the minimum amount to give to the guy and have him shoot him a couple times in the leg (not that I'd ever do that, saying it more as a 'what if...'
Third- David must have really, REALLY pissed someone off. Badly.
I just imagined kids in middle school or a church, who dont like David, writing notes back in forth.
Maybe they were selling rubber band shots for money... Fund raiser perhaps?
we don't shoot people, here in canada.
You just stab them with ice picks.
well yeah, it's a lot harder to find evidence when you use ice picks.
Damn, I wish I knew the author of this note. Cuz I got a 20 burning a hole in my pocket! :)
actually, it's easier to hide evidence when you use icicles...
and please don't shoot david!
OR we club people like we do the baby seals. Real sophisticated-like.
Weird...the first thing that came to mind was...the star of david. Considering the star of course that isn't a star of david. I just thought it was weird.
it's like a primitive version of America's Most Wanted.
Discount hitman, perhaps?
Michelle, I thought of the star of David too!
I love how its "belly". It makes me think that David was a chubby boy.
David better hide.
Do you pay to shoot david, or do you win money?
isn't a head or a belly a lot easier to shoot than a leg? maybe that's not how the value was assigned. . .
maybe I'm being a little too sensitive but in light of all the recent school shootings I find this note extremely scarey and disturbing. I'm also sad no one else took it serious. I hope David is ok.
Only 10 dollars, common a head is worth more than that. I'd pay say 11
Emma, you're probably being a little too sensitive. I'm sure David is fine
oh how funny.
sorry, emma.
but i am pretty sure that if someone was to be shot it wouldn't be blatantly written on a piece of paper with prices/rewards for body parts scrawled on there as well.
but thats just me.
david's belly must be a lot bigger than his leg. what about his arms? is there body part discrimination? what is with this pricing?
shot in the heart, i think the value is assigned according to the fatalness of the shot. shooting him in the leg would only wound him. The head definitely does the trick.
The way everyone is so sensitive I'm surprised they didn't lock down the school, cancel classes for a month, order counseling for everyone, and put every student and teacher named David in a safe house.
Thank God emma isn't in charge!
Man, I'm David! And even though the note was found in Canada, it looks like Montana! That's where I'm at! AH!!
its people like emma that make dark or dry humor ignored in high school. it makes it so that there is no such thing as a joke anymore. i could understand being a little weirded out because of school shootings but come on now! my son now has a bachelors in fine arts, but when he was in high school, he was sent to the guidance office on a daily basis for what he drew in art class. the guidance counselor, some hippy freak was trying to tell me my son (a very happily guy) was suicidal and asked if there was drug or alcohol use in my house. i wanted to say to her "I WISH! MOSTLY BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU"
how closed minded. children express themselves very differently with each generation and we cant start barring it now, using school shootings or 9/11 as an excuse. its a pathetic cop out.
cynical and annoyed both made me laugh... you guys are both sooooo right. thank you.
I'm reminded of "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap".
Lmao.
I saw this right after me and my best friend got done talking about how our supposed GAY bestfriend asked her out last night.
We're still laughing over it.
~Keely
I remember we used to assign points for hitting people with snowballs. 10 points for the head, 100 for the face, 5 for the back, etc. Mostly, it was directed towards the boys we liked. It was all in good fun.
I'm sure the writers of the note were also just teasing.
Perhaps David has inquired with a discount photographer for a quote on his charges for a photo shoot!? :) A weird photo shoot. I guess a picture of your leg would be better than nothing, and if it was a fairly good picture, then it could be worth $1!
This is horrifying! (and yet, I couldn't stop the chuckle that let loose from my mouth)...sorry David.