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August 13, 2009 |
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Tarzan
FOUND by Kieran C.
in Harrogate, North Yorkshire, UK
I found this outside a Mexican restaurant a couple of years ago and didn't really know what to do with it ... then I found this site! Enjoy.
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Nobody's Perfect June 11, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Why would anyone ever write about an embarrassing event like this! Even if it's to put in Gloria's flat-letter box to beg her to keep the secret. Better not to write it down in the first place. Now Gloria has a note to pass around! Talk about something to make fun of! Poor Tarzan-watching pants-dropping guy!
Obviously, no one knows how hot Tarzan is..Poor guy.. we all have wanted to be Tarzan..or Jane...
orn in England, but abandoned and raised by African apes. When Jane showed up, he made their first meal from whatever was close at hand. Jane asked, "What is it?" "Finch and chimps," he sai
It's hard to see how he was thinking this note might fix things, but is he saying, please don't run over Tarzan, because with your driving, you might hit me too, running behind with my underpants around my ankles?
on't ruin over Tarza
It appears that there is a word missing at the end, looks like it was intended to say: Do not ruin (me) over Tarzan.
I wear under shorts or nothing, is the writer a girl? I'm just saying...
I'd drop the crusty ones over Jane in that lion skin bikini, but then takl about it afterward, "I don't think so."
I'm with Chief on this. I thought it was a girl too. Guys don't write wordy notes about embarrassing incidents.
This is a European-style guy's handwriting. The wording of the note suggests that he is still learning English. And how to watch TV properly - reception room- was he doing that at WORK?
Or by a recent immigrant?
Maybe getting "embrassed" is similar to getting "bronzed" or "foiled"?? OR did the writer not want to be "aluminumated" from the workforce??
Also, if this note wasn't so sweet, I'd say something about the "reception room" being in a house in what Americans would call the 'red light district'.
I'll stop now.
Maybe it's written by one of those American Apparel swimsuit girls.
Perhaps a sign would have helped: No dropping drawers in the reception room while watching Tarzan on Sky TV.
The tone of this note seems odd, like it may be a joke. It doesn't really sound properly horrified and the wording is so formal and stilted. Who needs to clarify that this letter was put into someone's flat letter box? OBVIOUSLY!
How did Gloria come to possess so much power as to ruin this poor guy?
Doesn't matter anyway. Gloria was so taken with the whole incident, she hooked up with the writer of this note and they have been happily married ever since.
he wanted to put something else in her flat letter box.....
Finch and chimps!?! Farmer, you slay me!!
Like to tell you 'bout my baby, you know she comes around,
Just 'bout five feet four a-from her head to the ground.
You know she comes around here just about midnight,
She make me feel so good, lord, she make me feel all right.
And her name is g-l-o-r-i,
G-l-o-r-i-a gloria
G-l-o-r-i-a gloria
I'm gonna shout it all night gloria
I'm gonna shout it every day, gloria
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Oh Librarian...
You can't quote Van Morrison for this find.
You need to go with Laura Branigan
You really don't remember, was it something that he said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'?
If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody callin'?
You don't have to answer
Leave them hangin' on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria
Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number (Gloria)
I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you've been living under (Gloria)
But you really don't remember, was it something that they said?
Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
The value of this site has always been the unexpected poignance of the finds. The letter-writer's desperation screams through every line of this. But all the commenters do is poke fun at misspellings and copy/paste stupid song lyrics.
I'm glad this site requires a clickthrough to see comments. Won't be doing it again.
This is written by a girl - Kinda kinky getting picked off rubbing one down over Tarzan and pleading to not become fodder for office gossip.
(Gloria) - And that one over there... the new hot mess foreign girl - I walked in one her with her panties around her ankles, diddling her skittle over Lord Greystroke on the telly...begged me not to 'telly' on her - she's my bitch now - got her doing my laundry and scrubbing my toilet down every weekend....
I think this was written by a guy. One who is probably gay or still in the closet and does not want anyone to know this yet.
I dropped my pants for Cheeta, but don't tell anyone!!
@Peas in a Pod: Yeah. Whatev. Just don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
So is this writer masturbating with Tarzan then? Or am I the only one getting that from this....
@Me in Here: I think you are exactly right.
Gosh pee in your Ipod, I guess you're right. The proper thing for us to do is pool our resources and funds to find this poor soul and see to it that they get the deep psychological help they need.
Dog breath and Peas in a toilet, I don't think Peas in a Pod is going to see your responses because he said he wasn't going to click through to the comments ever again.
I think there's a good chance the letter-writer has Asperger's, because of the flat letter-box detail and the lack of understanding social graces. I really love Aspies, by the way. And I do feel sorry for this person. But I also appreciate the humor of the comments. I think Peas in a pod must be having a bad day.
Oh piss in a Pod,please give us one more chance. Hal will open the door for you and I will try to be poignant. My girlfriend is trying to get poignant by me but does not know that I am shooting blanks.
Peas in a Pod would have been horrified at what a soap opera it was in here a couple years ago. Compared to then, we're dignified, refined, and yes, dammit- poignant!
Once upon a time in the jungle all the animals and Tarzan were taking a bath in a waterfall. Then Tarzan noticed that all the animals were laughing at him. He asked the elephant, "Why are y'all laughing at me?" The elephant answered, "The reason we're laughing is that we got tails at the back and you got a tail in the front!"
This. Is. Hillarious.
I feel sorry for this guy.
They have Mexican food in North Yorkshire? God help us all.
So, exactly what it sky tv? is that just a British TV network? Is it an online thing?
to feeling in coherent..JESUS!!! thank you for the reference to the american apparel girls..and for those of you reading this as you search this site randomly..say in..2011..and assuming american apparel has gone out of business by then..well..see..there was this clothing company..very..non-american..barely legal kind of thing..i, myself, became so fascinated with the damn site..i looked at all the items..created lil..life stories for the models..i made wish lists of my favorite items..emailed them to my friends..my boyfriend..who seemed uninterested..but honey, i pleaded..i can put on the gold lame hot shorts..and go out to the bus stop and you can drive by..acting as if you and i have never met..and i just ran away from home..and i need a ride really really bad..cause i cant get on the bus..with these gold lame hot shorts on..and..you know what? maybe thats why we broke up..just did not see eye to eye..hmmmmmm...i need to check how many items are in my american apparel cart..right now.