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January 20, 2009 |
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I Am Manuel
FOUND by Meghann
in Indianapolis, IN
I got this right before I took my dog on a walk.
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Gang Aft Agley August 11, 2006 |
Last Warning February 15, 2004 |
In Other Words June 09, 2002 |
Karen's Guide January 04, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Teach your language to me better, so I can being bi-lingual stalker soon!
What's the other word?
Feeling took the words right out my mouth...
eerr... off my keyboard?
So if Manuel doesn't speak English, how can he write this note? Or did he get someone else to type it out for him? "I am Manuel". Whoever wrote it does think in Spanish, this is what you say when you are on the phone instead of "this is (name)", you say "I am (name)." In Spanish of course.
Knows nothing about you but thinks about you all the time...ahhh the charm of the unattainable.
Que?
I can't wait till Manuel posts Meghann's reply!
P.S. Feeling in coherent is right: I am a stalker.
someone typed it for him...it's kinda sweet. Now, if they just get the pudding/flan connection correct, there is hope for an international romance!
I hope that he isn't writing to a first grader
@ fooch ... Only if she has a craving for 'flan de tapioca.'
"I speak Eengleesh. I learn it from a book..."
Does it bother anyone else that there is no individual that is being addressed?
Is he just printing these out by the hundreds and handing them out to passers by in hopes of getting lucky?
What?
"Meghannnn" got this right before the dog walk? So she 'FOUND' Manuel on the stairs landing - flashed her pearly whites at him and got handed the note?
Went for the dog walk (did not clean up Fifi's poo) and immediately posted the note on Found?
Is he an exchange student in her home? Is he the janitor in her apartment building? I'm gathering a dog would not be in college dorm/living situation...
This is just creepy!!!!!
Spam Protection: Insert the next number:20,18,16,14...
Who wants to think this hard in the am???
Whoah, what high expectations. What is Manuel offering this lovely lady? The opportunity to teach an him English whilst he moons over her? For what? Will he at least be buying dinner? What if she doesn't write back? Will he be hanging out in the stairwell when she comes home????
Meghannnn got this? so Manuel gave it to her? i dont know. sketchy.
HEY, WHY DO YOU IGNORE ME! I AM MANUEL!
YOU HAVE NOT ACKNOWLEDGED ME IN ALL MONTHS.
I WATCH YOU ALL DAYS. I SEE THAT YOU ARE
DOING FINE. I CAN ALWAYS TELL BY YOUR
EVIL SMILE, AND ALL THE MEN YOU BRING
TO YOUR PLACE OF LIVING. WHORE! THE WAY YOU
BAIT ME WITH YOUR TWITTERING CACKLE NOW DISGUSTS ME! I HOPE YOU FALL DOWN THE STAIRS YOU CLIMB WITH THE RAGGEDY HAIRBALL YOU CARRY. BITCHES! I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU MORE, OR WEAR YOUR SKIN, BUT I COULD NOT SAY MORE THAN TWO WORDS IN ENGLISHES. I WANTED TO SHOW YOU MY MANHOOD, BUT I COULD NOT FIGURE HOW TO SAY IT ON THE GOOGLE TRANSLATOR OR ON BABELFISH.
GIVE ME THE INSTRUCTION, MANUEL.
WHAT? YOU POSTED ME ON FOUND? I KILL YOU!
Dear Manuel, please get back to work or I will need to replace you. Thanks
@ hiplainsdrifter ... Execllent! (And I'm somewhat relieved to see that Manuel finally learned where the caps lock was on his computer.)
Sample mash note from the world's worse Lover Manual.
I wonder if Manuel works for Old Coutry Buffet serving hot ass food... He should since his England is pretty good.
Flargy, the other word is "boner".
This could be the transcript of the next great YouTube meme. It's about to go universal. Everyone will be watching Manuel read his copy of the text.
Next thing you know, kids all over the globe are lip-synching their own versions. Then there are the 12 year olds doing a slumber party version, every one in a psuedo-Mexican costume.
After that comes the "Round the World" remix version, wherein someone edits together other YouTube clips from 28 different countries.
Next, Madonna sings a version in drag to Britney Spears at the Grammies.
And finally, "I am Manuel" opens to rave reviews on Broadway. It's the broken-hearted love story for the ages.
The original Manuel? His lawyers tell him that he lost copyright when he allowed the original text to be posted on some website back in January 2009. He don't even get a bowl of pudding out of it.
It's like missed connections but all on paper and stuff!
I recently saw an mc on my home craigslist that included the phrase "you like to ride Harley and I cease to exist."
Also,
Person 1: "Hey, how are you?"
Person 2: "Oh, I'm well. How are you?"
Person 1: "I'm Manuel."
Porque no me deja postear nada en español?
Aun asi sigo pensando que al menos Manuel lo intento y se hizo entender, no como algunos que critican cuando ellos mismos no son capaces de escribir una sola frase en otro idioma diferente al mediocre ingles.
...or even in english
@ Mom: very funny. Love all the connections to previous finds...makes my brain work harder...
(What is the spanish word for 'flaps?')
Aw. This is sweet.
"I am from Barcelona."
(@ Darkshines, I guess I'm the only one who caught your Fawlty Towers reference. Good job.)
I am your neighbor and a liar. By the way, do you have Zoe's number?
HI I AM MANUEL. I SMELLED YOUR HAIR WALKING BEHIND YOU IN STAIRS YESTERDAY NIGHT. YOU SHAMPOO SMELLS LIKE MY MOTHER'S PURSE, IT IS MAKE ME FEEL EXCITED AND FUN.
WRITE BACK, AND PLEASE NO RESTRAINING ORDER
LOVE MANUEL
Thanks, I mean if a guy called Manuel only knows one word, that word has to be "que". Its just....the law.
I know nothing!
Manuel! MANUEL!! Get back in the kitchen!! Leave Polly ALONE!! Sybil??? SYBIL !!!!
At a doctor's appointment recently, my son and I caught a bad case of of the giggles when we noticed the labels on the cabinet of drawers in the exam room:
Gowns
Injection Trays
Knee Booklets
Spanish Manuels
The notion of opening the drawer and finding a bunch of little dudes in sombreros - who'd look up and say [insert stereotypical Speedy-Gonzalez accent here], "Hola. Que paso?" or whatever - got us so tickled that the PA poked her head in the room to see what was going on.
We spent all our wait-time coming up with things that the Spanish Manuels might say if we opened that drawer; my son made me howl when he said, "Yo quiero Taco Bell."
I think it is so horrible that everybody considers this "creepy" and are making fun of the fact that it isn't in perfect English.
I think this is incredibly beautiful... The fact that Manuel tries so hard to communicate with this person that he adores is admirable. I don't think he is stalker-- they have obviously talked, and she has laughed with him. I wouldn't be surprised if she spoke to him in her own broken Spanish.
And to the comment about no person being addressed-- it HAD to have been written to somebody, and maybe handed to them. How could somebody write back without knowing Manuel?
Class exercise:
- Manuel knows all the words listed above, plus one other word.
- Using the listed words, write a 100-word essay.
- Bonus: you may add *one* word to the [lexicon?] to create your essay.
*giggle*
I'm picturing Manuel taping this note to the receiver's apartment door, or maybe sliding it underneath. . .
And I'm pretty sure they've never met before. He's a stalker - he's just been watching her and has heard her laugh, but I don't think she was laughing with him.
Manuel is mucho creepy. Easier than breaking his refried heart: turn taco-breath in to the INS. As a rule: Latin American women = occasionally hot; Latin American men = short, fat, and ugly.
He's seen her all week and knows she's doing fine, yet wonders how she's doing. Does. Not. Compute.
Hey, Manuel. My name is Luka. I live on the second floor. I live upstairs from you. Yes, I think you've seen me before. If you hear something late at night. Some kind of... Just don't ask me what it was.
Love, Luka
beautiful.