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August 09, 2007 |
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Feal the Need
FOUND by Carly Gates
in Boise, Idaho
I found this in the laundry room of my apartment complex. Apparently someone felt passionate about not having their clothes placed on a "dirty-ass washer." I like that whoever did the horrible deed posted an anonymous reply below.
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Don't Give it to War! March 16, 2003 |
Regretful Child's ... September 20, 2007 |
Wedding Day December 28, 2003 |
Food For Thought June 02, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
lmao I LOVE how the person wrote back that is very rad. But why as 'on' in the last sentance underlined?
I love how they spelled feel, "feal".
I almost left an angry note much like this in my dorm laundry room when someone stole my favorite jeans out of the washing machine. Who does that?
I adore the way the other person responded - writing on a bookplate sticker!
I suppose the clothes were just set on top of a machine, instead of inside - that is annoying - but in my opinion not worthy of such language.
However, the fact that someone took the time to write a note and leave it - that is funny.
Wait a minute...haven't we seen this find before? I could swear I've seen this one already.
Makes me glad I have my own washer and dryer.
Their handwriting is very similar.
Good find, I love the reply. I miss laundry mats. So much drama.
this doesn't seem authentic to me, for some reason.
ha their handwriting is the much similiar.
didn't know machines, dryers, or washers were capable of fucking. i have an appliance capable of that, but a whole machine! i have heard of people sitting on washers to achieve orgasms, but a fucking washer! wow! where can i get one!
Funny as this is, it can be made infinitely funnier by applying the time-tested XKCD humorification method: simple move the (implied) hyphen one place to the right....
"How would you like your clean clothes put on a dirty ass-washer?"
THIS WOMAN SHOULD BE MORE ATTENTIVE TO HER LAUNDRY. BAD FEMALE
I have a fucking washing machine. It thinks I'm hot too.
Great note- so freakin funny. However, I don't think this is a true "find". We know where it came from (even though not the authors). I mean, did the "finder" remove the note before the first author even saw the response? Not cool!
FOUND guys, today the first hotmom comment isnt mine. Good grief!
When you have public washing machines aren't you required to add money to it to make it work? Let's say the offender took the clothes out of the washer and put them IN a dryer. They probably would not have added money to run the machine and the owner of those clothes would be pissed that someone "stole" their clothes and really pissed at musty clothes when in reality the clothes were sitting in an idle dryer all along.
"THE LAST FUCKING WASHER IS EMPTY," HOTMOM IN YOUR DREAMS.
PS-JUST GET A NEW ALIAS. THE ONE YOU HAVE NOW IS RIDICULOUS ANYWAYS
I don't know whose using my mandle, on those two earlier posts, but it's not me.
That note is cleary bogus, as are washing machines and dryers. I throw out all my clothes after wearing them once.
Y doan u tern yer caps lok off? Nuttin werse than trian 2 reed dose annoing caps awl da tiam.
Whas rong wid U? Awl caps is 4 facking lewsers.
I love Salt today.
Yes, actually appliances can fuck, check out one of Beck's music videos. Lots of grill on grill action.
That note is totally fake because having lived in Idaho for a summer, I'm fully aware that there are no washing machines in the entire state. That's why tourism isn't such a hot industry there.
why would anyone use someone else use someone else's alias to send a stupid message? that wasnt me, before, not that it was offensive, or anything. Just not particularly clever.
I hope hotmom doesnt think i was mocking her. Or mocking someone pretending to be her. Why can't people use what passes for a sense of humour, and use it for good, and not evil?
OH, JESUS, A CUOPLE OF PEOPLE ON THE FOUND MESSAGE BOARD DON'T APPROVE OF MY CAPITAL LETTERS. I THINK I'LL STOP COMING HERE TO COMMENT. EVEN BETTER, I THINK I'LL CANCEL MY MY INTERNET. EVEN BETTER, I THINK I'LL THROW MY COMPUTER TOWER OUT THE WINDOW IN ORDER TO COMPLY WITH YOUR WISHES BECAUSE THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL, AS LONG AS I AM COMING TO FOUND, THAT I WILL TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK.
KEEP DREAMING, FOLKS
Mona Lisa's right. People can be evil.
Mean people hate themselves and their lives, so it's easy for them to try to make everyone else miserable.
Mona Lisa, don't sweat it. You're cool.
well, thats just silly.
Oh my gosh!! What is going on here? People stop being so lame impersonating someone else.
When people leave their laundry out like that, I like to pee on it.
Isn't it dirty assed and not dirty ass? I have asked several fellow editors about this and the unanimous response is that it is assed. However, I see people use ass all the time. What do you all think?
This find is fun, though. I do not miss the days of community appliances.
What happened to all the lovers? Why are there only fighters out here today?
@ me in nowhere - Haven't you heard of spin cycle? Quite a vibration there.
The reply looks just like my sister's writing, and sounds like something she'd say, too, what with her working on setting clear boundaries, not taking things personally, etc. OK - CODA. She's in CODA. I think a few commenters could benefit from that.
IT'S NOT ME. THAT PERSON AND I SPEAK IN DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.
THAT'S NOT ME EITHER. I DON'T A SHIT WHERE LOST IN TRANSLATION HAS BEEN. I ACTUALLY DON'T REMEMBER SEEING THAT PERSON COMMENT BEFORE AND I HATE THAT MOVIE.
PSH. ASK THE FOUND MAGAZING DOT COM STAFF.
Some people don't know Salt very well. I don't even know him very well. But I know enough to know that this negativity today is a gross over reaction. Can't people find anything better to complain about than someone who types in all caps? I mean, BIG DEAL! This poor person who was trying to get his/her clothes clean -- that's something to complain about!
Oh, about the find. It's funny! I like the way the author of the original complaint self-edited the compostion, yet missed the word "feal."
I'm glad the offender learned the important lesson not to mess with other peoples' clothes in a laundramat.
its too stupid in here today. See you guys tomorrow.
Great find, love the comments. Salt sound like he has a comb over.
I like SALT. He's funny.
Grow up and quit whining about how someone else types.
I really don't miss shared appliances. The only way to ensure some pervert wouldn't make off with your underwear or that your clean laundry wouldn't get thrown on the floor so someone else could use the machine (I would have much prefered the top of another machine, dirty or not!) was to sit there and watch it.
And that just cut into my drinking time.
First purchase with my own apartment was a nearly antique washer and dryer that sounded like bricks and pennies were being cleaned when you started them up. But they were mine, bitches, all mine!
Bricks and pennies! Nice image!
But, other than that, I'm with Mona, see y'all later!
I like how the reply is perfectly polite (and maybe even a little facetiously apologetic), yet still refers to "a dirty fuckin dryer."
The handwriting styles look a little bit similar at a glance, but if you actually look at individual letters, they're totally different.
Personman, I actually have one of those things that you mentioned. It's a nice amenity to have, but I get tired of explaining to my guests why the water fountain is so close to the floor.
yeah, shared appliances can truly suck - at least in my building we all know each other well enough to tap on the door and ASK if the laundry needs attending. The reply is the funniest part of the Find, imo. I didn't realise dryers could be dirty fuckers, either. Hah!
Why do so many people believe that this note is fake?
I usually see dryers driving around playgrounds, preying on small children. They are sick and need help.
Beeswax, I also hated it when laundry cut into my drinking time until I found the "University of Wash". It's half laundromat, half bar. Nowhere else in town can you SMOKE, drink beer and fold your clothes while kicking white-trash rugrats in the face. Cheers!
Salt do you have a myspace? I would love to read a blog or something of yours. You always make my day at work :o)
So how does the overly angry, issue-having note-writer know that the washer on the end was open when the clothes-taker-outer was there, since they obviously were not!
I've always felt that it was completely expected and acceptable that if someone needed the washer and my clothes were in there, and myself not there, they would put them on top. Never bothered me a bit. Come on, how dirty would they get? And only the first layer. Most of it would come out in the dryer anyway. But then I have never understood so many people's phobia of a little dirt - gawd, get dirty and live a little!!!
Personman, that is so funny - I will try that from now on!
I'VE CONTEMPLATED CREATING ONE. TELL YOU WHAT, I WILL AFTER WORK AND I'LL USE THE EMAIL ADDRESS BOILTHEWATER@GMAIL.COM TO OPEN THE ACCOUNT.
IT'S MY BOGUS EMAIL ACCOUNT SO FEEL FREE TO SPAM AWAY.
i have no sympathy for the original note writer here.
someone once stole one of my laundry baskets and used it to steal an entire load of someone else's laundry (apparently someone more fashionable than I) i can understand getting pissed about that, but not about someone moving the clothes you left unattended.
to the imposter- cut it the fuck out. now.
to all the anti-SALT whiners- you too, bitches.
At my first apartment, someone stole my panties out of the dryer. We always thought it was the maintenance guy and we called him Panty Man. Panty is a funny word.
I hate laundry-room drama. It just never works out in the end.
Special thanks to Personman and Lost in Translation for addressing the punctuation and usage issues inherent in the problematic phrase, "put on a dirty ass washer."
The response is wonderfully passive aggressive. While acknowledging the writer's concern and assuring him/her that it won't happen again, the respondent manages to correct or contradict the writer by calling the machine upon which the clean clothes were placed a "dirty fuckin dryer."
From Wikipedia: "Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is also in part characterized by a form of pedantry that is overly concerned with the correct following of rules, procedures and practices."
They say that like it's a bad thing.
I used to work at one of those laundromats that served beer! I was the laundry police. I made sure that no one touched anyone else's laundry inappropriately; and believe me, try they did.
And washers ARE dirty. At the end of the day, I had to go through all of the washers and clean them out. Some nasty, nasty stuff in there. I'd pick out any large debris, then run a hot load of soap and bleach through each one, wipe down the tops, inside and out. Let me tell you, my laundromat sparkled. At the end of the day, I came home smelling like dryer sheets and brew. What more could a girl want?
It's fun to impersonate hotmom, she gets all riled up about it.
SALT is great. Not everyone hates him. I like his caps, it makes it that much easier to skim down the list of comments and get straight to his.
when I visited Reno, they had laundry mats with poker machines and full service bars. and video games for the kids. That was a great way to waste an afternoon.
I am the Panty Man.
Salt- I, for one, think you are hilarious. Keep doing what you're doing, friend!
i love salt. i come here every day just to see what he says.
:]
Respect the laundry code, people! Thou shalt not remove wet clothes from a dryer and steal the remaining minutes(AKA sloplifting). Thou shalt not steal thy neighbor's underpants. Thou shalt not throw thy dryer sheets on the floor.
I like the real SALT. Caps make it easier to find his comments. Stealing names is kinda stupid.
Yeah..I don't understand what the big deal is. I read these comments everyday and rarely comment bc by the time I get through the first 5, the STUPID had already begun. Someone typing in all CAPS bothers me little to none. For those of you whining ab it, don't you have something else to focus your energy on?
To Personman in Sebastopol- I was gonna say that! Funniest comic strip about math ever!
i have a huge collection of stolen panties
I cleaned up some of the comments by screenname jackers and responses to them. Thanks for being patient and ignoring the ignorable comments!
I've had worse luck w/ laundromat employees who take my clothes out (*before* the time runs out). Oh, laundromat, palace of detergent, romance, and stinky things made clean.
i know i wasnt going to come back till tomorrow (insert lovely [wanted] sarcastic comment by SALT here, that demonstrates his lack of caring whether i'm here or not)
but frankly, i'm obsessed.
Just wanted to express my personal thanks, to James, for cleaning up the site. It must get frustrating for you, having to referee all the stupid stuff that goes on here. I dont know of any other website that allows access like this, in terms of comments, and i, for one, love it. I do appreciate the time you guys take, picking out the founds, and cleaning up the stupid stuff. love y'all at found.
I don't understand what is so bad about writing in all caps? Why does it make people so mad? Can someone please just tell me that?
Anyways I keep a good watch on my clothes when i'm doing laundry. No one is going to fuck with my clean clothes!
ARE YOU MY CHEERLEADER, MONA LISA?
yay!! Ill look for it tonight SALT
I used to log on here just to read the comments about the found object. Lately it seems to have turned into a forum for rather small minded people to just toot their own trumpets and moan about one-another's comments. As for FUSSING ABOUT THINGS BEING WRITTEN IN CAPS or 'spelted' badly, come on guys, there are far worse problems to fret about.....like some-one dumping the washing on a 'dirty fuckin machine'!!
Soap and quarters and bleach and laundry
Are words I use at the laundromat
Reading the news, and watching the people
That's what I do at the laundromat
At the laundromat my heart grows fat
Ah Ah
As my clothes get dry I stop and sigh
Ah Ah
Dreaming -- Screaming
There's a girl washing her clothes
I'm in love but nobody knows
She looks sixteen or seventeen
My mind grows dirty when my clothes get clean
She's so young and tall
Ah Ah
I'm gonna give her my all (or Borax)
Ah Ah
Dreaming -- Screaming
I'm not a subtle guy
I'll go to her and sigh
"If I don't see you again my love
I must surely die."
Dreaming -- Screaming
Clothes go round and round
And my heart goes up and down
She's drying her jeans
In separate machines
She's loading up her granny cart
Ah Ah
Goin out the door; it's breaking my heart
Ah Ah
Dreaming -- Screaming
-The Dead Milkmen
Oh, btw.. Lost, i do concur, i think it should be dirty-assed. Dirty ass is grammatically incorrect. (hope i spelted that right.)
and Moaning lisa.. i like that take on my name. that's funny.
i got some buddies and we all drink bleach...
i congratualte the "offender." but she should have stood up for her actions. i loathe when roommates or strangers in a laundromat leave their clothes in washers or dryers forever. i'll throw their laundry on the damn floor to prove a point - don't be so selfish, other people have laundry to do, too. eff.
and a big "eff yes!" to the dead milkmen post.
"she's drying her jeans, in seperate machines, auroooorrra."
Doing laundry is never as much fun as taking retards to the zoo......
Hey all the ugly stupid comments from earlier today are gone! Yay! This site is the greatest! I love Borax. Have you ever been to the place they mine that stuff? Boron, California. Really interesting. "Twenty mule-team Borax." It really works, even though it's expensive. Worth it. Thanks James for keeping this place clean and interesting. Kind of like a laundramat, in a way.
Turbo, FYI:
One of them is blowing a big spit bubble
Slam on the brakes at the first sign of trouble
Head-on collision, bodies everywhere
Head-on collision, retards beware!
(So glad I'm not the only Dead Milkmen fanatic here.)
I send my love to Flargy and Turbo.
Is this just a simple case of lint lust vs. lint loathing? Or randy washers and driers (dryers?).
Also, where were said clothes placed? On the washer or drier? It's a case of mistaken identity for one of the two amorous machines.
ok, NOBODY actually says "-assed" anything. "Ass" in this case is an intensifier, not an actual word signifying anything in particular. Kind of like calling a washer a fucking washer. It's not ACTUALLY fucking.
That's kind of like saying the phrase should be "go jump into the lake" because "go jump in the lake" means you're already IN the lake, jumping up and down. I'm all for accuracy in speech and writing, but for crying out loud, people, there is such a thing as an idiom.
Rant over.
That was a pretty half-assed fucking rant, Elizabeth.
"Sorting, washing and drying one's clothes, towels and bedding at a coin-operated laundramat is not as enjoyable as providing carefully chosen day habilitation programs for the developmentally disabled."
Flargy, I just choked on my crab linguini alfredo at your last comment. HA! Thanks!
Thank you, Flargy. Also, I might point out that "bad-assed" returns 1,360,000 hits on Google.
How is it we know that a fucking washer is not actually fucking? There's a lot going on out there in the world of commercial appliances that we don't hear about.
However, I have to agree that ass is an intensifier, even at my age.
Elizabeth, we find you incredibly sexy for defending idioms; it's just that sometimes it spoils the fun. Not literally, of course, because fun cannot spoil, but, you know.
Ha! Are you jealous, Flargy? I seem to have my own automated politically correct translator! AWESOME! (your half-assed line was aces)
;-)
Hi all... Every day viewer… Lover of SALT, rare commenter! I had to say that this note reminds me of something that may be posted at www.passiveagressivenotes.com, yet another great site. I think SALT would be happy there among the notes and their comment section as well!
I consider it good manners to leave a $20 bill when when stealing panties. Fair is fair.
Dear fellow dryers users,
I'm so sick of you leaving clothes in the fucking dryer forever. Other people live here. Other people need clean clothes. You know how long the dryer takes. If you don't take your clothes out in a timely manner, fuck you. I'm taking them out. I don't care if the fucking dryer is dirty on top. You are inconsiderate, hogging up the fucking dryer, yet you expect me to be considerate towards you? Don't you ever take my wet clothes out of the fucking dryer again or I will kick you dirty ass asses!
Whew, I've been holding that in for years!
Elizabeth, I don't get how "go jump in the lake" means that one is already in the lake. "jump in the lake" would mean that, but to say "go" means that you are not already there and must get there. However, "go jump in the lake" may mean that though you aren't already there you must continue to jump up and down in said lake upon arriving, possibly via a jump. But that's a bit of a tangent. I don't think "go jump in the lake assumes you are already there.
I love how the response to the note uses the same language as the original message, it makes the apology so mocking and snarky. If the note had been left up and the person whose clothes were removed saw the apology I'm sure they'd get even more pissed than they were in the first place.
Why don't these people wipe their washing machines off once in a while? I mean if they're using them regularly, how hard is it to dampen a towel, wipe the top off and throw it in with your wash?
Kitty, "panty" is a funny word because they come in pairs. What is a "panty" anyway?
French Fry, are you missing the point? "Go jump in the lake" means "fuck off." (Not that I'm suggesting, I'm just saying....)
SALT is amazing.
Leaving one's laundry on a dirty ass machine could cause "panty crickets"
Good riddance Mona, I'll believe it when I see it. Canadian.
FOUND is getting wayyy to ridiculous for me lately.
I always used "assed" as a verb, or a past-tense adjective. I was tired, so I half-assed it. That's a dirty-ass washer; that was a dirty-assed washer! but that might just be me.
i like the piece of paper the retort was on. very nice.
Ok.....I have to say it. Elizabeth you obviously are not from the midwest or the south. We use assed all the time and go jump in the lake is more or less telling someone to shut the fuck up or piss off...take your choice
OK...I have to say, I AM from the Midwest. Born here, lived here all my life. Wouldn't live anywhere else.
And you're all completely correct, there are many instances of "-assed" phraseology. I missed those, I admit it. But I still maintain that in actual colloquial speech, adding the "-ed" in a phrase like "dirty-ass" is something that is inherently difficult for people to do; it's just one of those extra syllables that get lost.
Just my half-assed explanation for what it's worth.
And I would agree that the comments tend to be a lot more on the commentors than the find. Which makes me a little sad in my heart. But never mind. I could care less. [note: another idiom]
p.s. and I KNOW what "go jump in the lake" means.
That is the best note ever. I go through the same thing all the time and it pisses me off when people put my clean clothes on the dusty or pissed/dripped (from the ceiling) dryer. Why can't they put the clothes in the dryer or on the folding table?
Elizabeth in Indiana, are you a church organist by any chance?