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February 24, 2009 |
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Butthole Bleaching
FOUND by Meghan
in Orlando, FL
My friend Kelly and I found this beaten up note by a tree on our campus.
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I Made Chili ... January 17, 2008 |
Abandoned Bbq August 30, 2005 |
To Take This Pill May 22, 2005 |
Pop Man February 01, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
ooooohhhh noooooo..Mr. Bill, another Butthole find.
Butt hole bleaching before joy. Naturally.
Pity she lost the note. Joey's still waiting on the front step of the preschool.
Joey may still be waiting at pre-school, but perhaps she kept the list just long enough to remember she needed to get that estimate on butt hole bleaching.
The character Maura in the webcomic Diesel Sweeties (by R. Stevens) refers to anal bleaching with the statement,
"Inner peace is a three step process:
1. Apply
2. Soak
3. SPARKLE
http://dieselsweeties.com/archive.php?s=1412
Her eagerness for bleachy joy seems to inspire her doodles...Asteraceae and asterisks? LOL! Freud!!!
Wonder if "shoes" are stripper platforms for her "interview" for that butthole oriented scene in a porno.
"Butthole bleaching" sounds *seriously* painful. I understand that, living underground as I do, I miss out on a lot of new trends...but are people so narcissistic these days that they actually worry about what colour their anal ring is?
Please enlighten me.
Sausage and pomegranate pancakes (eaten standing?)
This brings to mind an advertisement. Something like "We'll match the competitor's lowest price on butthole bleaching! GUARANTEED!"
I mean, Jesus, how does one even ADVERTISE such a procedure?
mplied that it might be some sorta *social art experiment* but, really, you know he's not up to it. I mean, the guy's a moron; and besides, his stubby little pen.....
.....Oh. Wait a minute.....
Never mind.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/70809437.h
How much does butthole bleaching actually cost, anyway?
Thought 1:
the importance of butthole bleaching is slightly lower then studying for midterms, but more important the vacuuming.
Thought 2:
just how big a job is it, that you'd need to shop around for estimates?
Thought 3:
is the bleaching also a part of the preparation for the job interview?
or perhaps a backup plan for in case the studying isn't enough?
[@Blaze, just google "anal bleaching". you'll be shocked not only by how many results it turns up, but by how many sites have it IN THE SITE NAME. apparently advertising it isn't as big a problem as one might think...]
{p.p.s, my curiosity on the subject did not extend far enough to actually click any of those search results though...}
There are just SO many things wrong with this list. I don't know where to start.
I certainly wouldn't be smiling OR joyful if I had to bleach my butthole.
Who tells you that your butthole is too dark and needs bleaching? Or do people check it out with a mirror?
Well.
Clearly I need to stay with my husband. He is perfectly content with my natural posterior pigment.
I fear I am ill-equipped for the high standards of the Dating Scene in this New Millennium.
ummm, I'm with Librarian...
I believe our buttholes are anatomically placed in such a way that we aren't supposed to be thinking about how it looks.
Sorry I left you out in the rain in front of school Joey I was too busy getting my butthole bleached to pick you up. Man UP!
Now we need a 1-stop shop where she can get all those things. Preferably across from the preschool.
I still don't believe people actually bleach their buttholes. Refuse to believe.
butthole bleaching aside, I'd like to know how much she's going to pay to buy MLK. I mean, he's a pretty significant historical figure and his preserved body would be considered priceless by many. Or is she going to buy the rights to the name so she can market her products under the MLK brand? That would prove lucrative, since every major city and many other towns have an MLK street, avenue, or boulevard. Every time I cross the MLK bridge I'd think of whatever it is she's selling.
Butthole bleaching? You gotta be kidding is that a real thing? This girl was joking right? How could anyone possibly benefit from putting bleach on their bunghole. Not to mention it would probably burn like hell!! The whole concept makes me shudder.
I can't believe you guys don't know about butt hole bleaching. I know about it because I saw an article about it on tv a couple of years ago, can you believe they were talking about that ON TV? It's supposed to be quite popular with porn "actresses" and strippers.
*Warning
Read and follow all instructions carefully. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, or prevent any disease, or cure any rectal self-esteem issues. This product is for where the sun does not shine(unless you are in a stand up tanning booth).
According to the Surgeon General copious amounts of alcohol should be consumed prior to application of bleach and halloween candy(preferably candy corn), or insertion of pomegranate seeds and/or sausages. Because the risk of pain and hangover all studying should be performed prior to application. Have a vaccuum handy to clean up expelled eggs. Not recommended for children, pregnant women,dogs, or people with sensitive assholes. This may impair your ability to drive a car or operate machinery.
Do not expose children to this activity. Drop children off for an overnight with Nana and Grampy's house prior to embarking on adult activity parties. Wear red high heels at all times.
Manufacturer not responsible for user being referred to as a "candy ass", or a "bright cheery asshole."
In case of burning sensation, discomfort or shame, soak your ass in a tub of milk(1%).If an erection lasts longer then 4 hours call a friend, or hang a towel on it.
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okay, folks, what about those "flowers" over on the lower right of this "to do" list? Are they really flowers?
or, collapsing before the cascade of comments so far, are they connected with the bleaching? A sort of before/after illustration?
Some not-so-subtle reference to "sweet smelling" things or places?
@Librarian - I believe (judging by the spatter pattern) around the "flower" - that those "flowers" are actually anatomical blotter prints taken post-bleaching.
ABSOLUTELY D I S G U S T I N G!
who does such a thing? WHO would even write that down?! that is GROSS beyond belief!
is it even possible to do such a thing?
how SICK are people?!!!!
this is very scary...
jeez - where have you people been. I'm an old guy and I've heard of butthole bleaching. Don't any of you watch Californication.
I am so glad that I am not the only one who has never, ever heard of this type of bleaching.
Whoa.
Leave it to Found to once again broaden my horizons!
This is quite amusing:
http://tinyurl.com/d4ya5r
)*(
@ Terrie: Yes, I can believe they were talking about it on TV. While I was on vacation, I was flipping through the late-night cable TV channels in my motel room, and I came across one on the art of blowing glass dildoes. I shit you not! But I digress...
I can't BELIEVE this either! What color is the butt-hole after the treatment? A pretty blushing peach? Death-gray? White? Or a fiery red, like you'd just wiped with a corn cob? Do they have a Day-Glo polish you can apply afterwards, to make it glow in the dark? Can you get your flaps bleached & waxed while you're doing your butt-hole? So many questions!
is it the bleach that makes it taste like copper pennies, then?
Californication... David Duchovny... mmmmyummy.
Thank you for making me feel normal...whatever that is...fellow FoundHounds! Personally I've never been in a position to be able to see my own anus, and I wonder how many have that weren't trained as child acrobat in a Chinese circus! And why would you care what shade of whatever it is? Believe me, even if you are a porn "actor", the viewers aren't gonna be thinking, "Oh, what a pretty pale pink portal you have!"
I actually did Google...which effectively ruins any prospect of sleeping tonight. sheesh.
More upsetting yet, I guess *vaginal* bleaching is available, too.
How idiotically narcissistic is modern society? And where is the line? It all started with those home tooth-whitening kits.
And then they wonder why the economy's in meltdown. What disturbs me is that this "person" evidently has a child...don't know whether it's more disturbing that they have custody of a toddler, or that they've been allowed to reproduce at all.
@ Mountain Girl
You may also be shocked to learn that there are plastic surgeries for the "flaps" as well! One can get them sculpted to a less flappy length, and bleached as well!!!!! What is the world coming to?????
EXIT ONLY!!!!
QUOTE:"You don't get a second chance to make a first impression! If she wants to make her chocolate spider vanilla, who am I to judge??"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhyNZDGs228
I wish the the thing I liked least about my looks was the color of my butthole...
"It all started with those home tooth-whitening kits."
ZOMG baby basil! That cracked me up!
@wandering around --
I don't know, I've never tasted bleach.
When courting a young lady, I find that good spelling is more important than the color of her asshole. Or is that just me?
I have a dream that one day we will live in a nation where we will not be judged by the color of our buttholes but by the content of our character.
At least she's responsible and has a postitive attitude....
Part of it, too, is our culture's obsession with cleanliness. The difference in color comes not from contact with any...thing, it's simply because it's a different type of skin/tissue than the surrounding area. It'd be just as logical to bleach one's lips (on the face, guys, on the face).
I'm no stranger to the concept, but I AM unfamiliar with anyone outside the porn/"adult entertainment" industry doing it. Sure doesn't seem to fit with the rest of her note, which makes me wonder if it wasn't a joke of some kind. I mean, as someone else said, who would write that DOWN?
If you HAD to write it down, if your memory or time management skills are that bad, wouldn't you just write "price on bleaching" and trust yourself to know what you meant? To me, it sounds as weird as if the first entry said "Get motor oil and filter changed in blue '04 Honda Civic." Or "Anytown Community College, Eastside Campus midterms - study American History 203!!!" You know? If it's your own stuff, there's no need to be *that* detailed about it... unless you're writing for an audience.
miss gredenko, yes, I had not heard of this, either. Like you, my horizons are broadened daily from this site.
And Hiplainsdrifter, LOL. Perfect anus, if you ask me.
OK, give this entrepeneur some credit. She's an aspiring aesthetician, developing her price list for ghastly vanity services. It's her passion for her beauty shop business that requires she remind herself in writing to pick up her toddler from preschool.
Oh, Hiplains, you made me laugh quite hard while at a job I hate. Thanks for the giggles.
I like how she's all casual, writing an everyday, normal to do list...la dee da, get oil changed, la dee da, buy milk and sausage, la dee da......and then WHAMO!...prices on butthole bleaching! Like that's something we ALL write on out to do lists!
i think my favorite part of this find is how she nonchalantly threw in "butthole bleaching" into the middle of the list like it was something completely normal, such as "pay bills" or "write thank you notes".
my second favorite part of this find is how many times the word "butthole" appears in the comments above.
how freaky... listening to dr. drew on the radio tonight... and some girl was asking about anal bleaching... i never heard of it, never knew it existed, and never thought id hear about it again....so soon anyways...scary.
What?! Butthole bleaching...????
I have to wonder if she has a tattoo om an M on each cheek. when she bends over it says MOM and when she spreads her legs on her back it says WOW
This could be a joke....I've made lists that I knew would be seen by a roommate, boyfriend, etc. and would throw in something just to make them laugh. Or gasp.
Asteracea...impressive!
@ Hiplainsdrifter:
Your warning label is hysterical! Are you a tech. writer by profession or passion? :)
And the invisible product for which your label was written addresses a need (apparently) which inspired my gut reaction to this "Find", i.e. Isn't this an activity best performed in the comfort and privacy of one's own bathroom?