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February 27, 2009 |
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A Crack Head
FOUND by Tanya
in Seacliff Beach, CA
Today was senior ditch day for the class of '08 and we went to Seacliff Beach, a little past Ventura. When we got there there was this really cool hut made from drift wood that we basically stayed by the whole time. I was sitting under it and the corner of this was sticking out.
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Find Another House August 25, 2007 |
Gender Studies February 24, 2002 |
Unite! January 16, 2005 |
Sunset December 21, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Hot pockets will do you in. Be very careful..
Now THAT'S a find!
in the cottage" is what was written, but it was was a typing error; should have said "in the cottage cheese." So of course this caused the writer to be totally misunderst......
...Oh. Wait a Minute.....
Never mind.
Philly Cheese Stake Right to the Heart. Indeed. At least the beer is vegetarian and cholesterol free. Maybe they balance out.
And is it "...light my own cigarette butt. Here is my last...."? OR is it "...light my own cigarette. But here is my last beer...."? Blast those pesky punctuation rules!
A bum shack that is amazing! I think I will leave my sweet van down by the river and go hang at this bum shack at the beach.
The author offered his last beer and a Hot Pocket to his diary? He might as well be having a tea party with dolls.
Ah, senior ditch day! A tradition that's prolly older than all of us. You can't stop the kids from skipping that day, but you can throw a really easy pop quiz that's worth 10% of the final grade.
Yes, I skipped when I was a senior. Yes, I'd throw the pop quiz now if I was the teacher. It's the circle of life.
Why didn't he use the $20 to buy another lighter?
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many
peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods
and services.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
...and he laughed at the crackhead.
Perhaps he didn't use the $20 to buy another lighter because he was at the beach with no store nearby and no transportation to the nearest one?
(you GO, Farmer.. rock on with your bad self! Maybe it was cottage cheese-like consistency.)
"fucken"
"*shutters*"
Dear Diary, | and Mom and Dad
A crack head | sold me some crack. Good thing I
bought my lighter | cuz crack is whack!
for $20 | I now turn tricks for crack
(Crack head) :) haha
and now I can't | sit down or
light my own | crack pipe let alone a
cigarett but | I digress. Things are awful
here is my last | stand. At my wake have a
beer enjoy it! | Think of me often!
Oh and this |drift wood beach hut is a
bum shack | as there are lots of bums here it
is fucking amazing | crackheads there are.
P.S. Here is a Philly Cheese|with a wood
stake Hot | for use on vampires keep it in your
Pocket for | use. Your Loving Daughter. Lucy
I was going to write something funny, but...
Oh wait a minute....
Never Mind
20 bucks for a lighter, huh? Obviously, only the most affluent crackheads can afford beachfront shacks. Around here, they're only willing to pay $10 bucks for a plastic lighter, or $15 for a Zippo in good condition.
Frankly, I'm surprised it doesn't say
"dear dairy"
I was going to say something about Amy Winehouse...but enh, mood has passed.
Q: who buys beer and Philly cheesesteaks for their diary?
Favorite quote: "Oh, and this bum shack is Fucken AMAZING!!"
@"Farmer": kindly cease and desist. Or say something worthwhile, you fucking cunt...Oh. Wait a minute..... Never mind.
@"frotteur": poser.
hey you know what, cheesy frottage? I was posting occasionally as Frotteur before YOU even showed up in your cottage. And unless you're someone who's been here awhile and JUST changed names, Farmer's been around a LOT longer than you have, is a LOT friendlier, and more entertaining than your insulting Nothing posts would indicate you could POSSIBLY hope to be. fucken Poser.
so there.
Thbhbbtttppt. Go Fish.
class of 2009 maybe? i think you are a year off or its not today
@Hiplainsdrifter: I am cleaning Chinese food off of my computer screen. You made my day!
@Frottage: A:Someone who uses a piece of cardboard scrap for a diary in the first place.
omething to be said for longevity, despite the almost inevitable diminution of the senses, or the evolution (some might say devolution, some might say refinement) of one's sense of humor, or the increased tolerance for intoler....
...Oh. Wait a minute.....
Never mind.
Twice in one day, thanks Farmer! Some of us "get" you. Keep on bringing it!
Aye! I second that emotion. (even if I don't quite "get" it...)
Let Farmer be Farmer. (and let Feeling Incoherent be Farmer, too, if that's what Feeling wants.)
And it is my assertion that anyone who uses the C-word in such a lovely environment as the Found Magazine comment board should not be telling others what may or may not be worthwhile.
There's a wave of really mean spirited folk posting lately. What's up with that?
@Cherry O; Agreed, the C-word is not kind.
I think some posters need to get more fiber in their diets....
I think that Finsterton and frottage are actually the same angry person. (someone a few days back theorized that Finsterston is the missing smallbear.)
Discuss.
To the Time Traveler- wow- your post confused the hell out of me at first.
The Finder who submitted the Find wrote the Finder's Blurb the day she sent in the Find- the same day she Found it.
As we know, it takes a while to see a submitted Find featured as a Find of the Day. (up to 3 years?)
Was the raspberries and marmalade Find the last one that Farmer posted.. "normally" on?
I've been in a driftwood hut on an Oregon beach. No notes. But there were cute boys and angry parents!!
It's good to see that only one of the posters for today realized that the graduation date for this year is in 2009, NOT 2008. I enjoy a senior skip day as much as the next senior, but I'd rather it be with my fellow 09 graduates. Finder, get your story straight.
And to Farmer, you are a rare and unique poster. Appreciate.
Farmer rocks.
I wonder if a 'bum shack' sells bleach for buttholes.
Just wondering...
@Cherry and other Concerned Foundhounds: It's February, the "cruellest month." What we have here lately is a severe case of Online Cabin Fever. People are taking out their winter depression on the chatboards of websites all over cyberspace. Spring is coming, but we're in for the long haul, here. Get in some supplies of chocolate, people.
i am a little confused about this find. i understand wanting to write in your diary about what a great day it has been, but what is the purpose of offering it beer and food?
Singer C- don't be obtuse. the Finder submitted this LAST year. 2008. Not this year. Think of the Finder's Blurb as .. an entry in a diary. "dear diary, today..."
Not a breaking news story in the NOW.
Get it?
Yeah everybody, stop hating on Farmer! I love Farmer!
The kind of person who wrote this Find doesn't seem like the type to address an entry "dear diary" but I mean, since it's a crack head, giving food to your diary might make sense.
Aww Seacliff Beach... I miss the waves.... And the sunsets... Waaa! I wanna go hoooooome
Curious, I don't think the journaler is a crack head. S/he sold a lighter to a crack head. (and if s/he were a crack head as well, I'm thinking s/he'd refer to the lighter buyer as something else, since crack head is sorta harsh and judgenmental... but really, what do I know?)
No possible explanation for why someone'd give an offering of beer and hot pockets to a diary entry, though.
I really managed to piss you all off. Thank you for your enmity. You've made my day. The only thing that could make it any better would be some beer and a Hot Pocket.
@"Farmer": I wasn't trying to be mean, merely expressing annoyance. However, to your credit, I agree with "Singer C.": you are indeed a "rare and unique poster," albeit obnoxious.
@"Frotteur": I was joking, you touchy little queef. But since we've broached the subject, I've been posting for five years with my "Nothing" posts. Under various names and modus operandi. Hell, perhaps I myself am "Farmer in the Dell." And/or "Finsterton Smythe." And calling me a poser was pretty clever. Where did you get that idea from? Also, how can someone who posts random, intentionally poorly-punctuated gibberish be called "friendly"? In the same way that my Rubik's Cube is mean and spiteful, but occasionally cheerful?
P.S. This last one's for the ladies: what "C-word" were you cunts bitching about?
Awww Frottage, that's so cuuuuuute how you say you've been posting here for five years... And interesting, too-- considering the comment feature's only been around on Found for a little over two years.
Nice try, though.
I hate to say it, but frottage's last question made me laugh. Out loud. (sorry. couldn't help it. reflex and all.)
Sorry for the chronological mistake. So let's say 2.5 years, child of incest ass-rape.
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/695
Mine's at the top. Cunt.
I don't believe you, pervert. Nope. Not at all.