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February 26, 2009 |
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Fat People Rule
FOUND by Danielle C.
in Westfield, NJ
I was walking home from the train station in my town after a tiring day. I tend to look down a lot, since I am prone to tripping or stepping in things. Then, I spied this find stuck to a brick in the path around the station! It's very sticky on the back and looks like someone made it from a Priority Mail shipping label.
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The Motown Man May 20, 2007 |
Take Me To The River August 10, 2006 |
First Job July 21, 2005 |
I'm in Love with ... December 27, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Wow, what was your first clue, Danielle? The fact that it says "priority mail" all over it and it's sticky on the back? You little detective you!
...They've even got teeth in their lips. They sooo rule
No one told me. What do I do with my new ruling powers. Am I to be a benevolent dictator?
And now I have a Spanish Top 40 song spinning in my head, courtesy of this Find and the Orquesta Mondragon: Ellos las prefieren muy gordas, gordas, gordas, super gordas, gordas, gordas y apretás. (Men like them fat, fat, fat, super fat, fat, fat and tightly packed.)
Oh dear oh dear. It's gonna be a long day.
Too much pescado!!
like she coulda had "Goodyear" painted on her side, y'know? I think her name was Maddie, and she lived in a basement apartment, didn't get out much because of the stairs, so she was always kinda hor.....
.....Oh. Wait a minute.....
Never mind.
Wish there was a ruler alongside this one because it looks to me like it was originally pretty small and that we're seeing an enlargement ... which would make it funnier, having a "fat people" encomium writ tiny, I mean.
so, like he only had this one joke and he kinda ran it into the ground and first it got tiresome and then it got really really tireso....
......Oh. Wait a minute......
Never mind.
Skinny people drool!
Ya'll let Farmer be Farmer. Who are you to judge him unless you've walked a mile in his dell???
You guys ganging up on him has become much more tedious than his posts!!! His name is listed at the top, if you don't like what he writes, don't read it!
Because of this find, my eyes have been opened to the ruling powers of fat people. All this time I thought they were my equals, but they are my superiors. I get it now! I feel some restitution is in order, but what can I do to make up for decades of overlooking their greatness?
Enough about Farmer in the Dell.
What ever became of SALT in the SEA?
Cute Little Priority HotDog Man said it, it must be true.
I love the renegade Sharpie stickers on Priority Mail labels.. but we don't see 'em much anymore; not since the USPS caught on and started hoarding the labels.
my personal training career with a minor in massage therapy does not support this statement..
Fat people may rule, but skinny people make all the decisions. Behind the scenes sort of. While the rest of us average folk get caught up in the middle.
Bow down before my ass!!!!
BUNNEE moves into diversionary scare tactics!
BUNNEEs rule!!!
Only if it's properly bleached, Turbo.
YAH! and skinny chicks are for wimps!
that's what my husband tells me, anyway....
Fat People Rule what exactly?
I mean other than havinhg FUPA's, fancy finger nails and stylish hairdoo's from gay friends?
Or is that just Fat Chicks?
The June, 2004 revision of the USPS Priority mailing label #228 is 4 X 5 1/4", with 2 3/4 X 4 1/4" being "blank" (no web address, red and blue border, or other words aside from Priority Mail) for graffitti stickers. The PRIORITY MAIL watermark is a faint light blue, with the words slanting from bottom left to top right. The label is on a "bend in the middle and peel off" backing paper, with square corners. (sticker is the same size as backing paper.)
The February, 2006 revision of the same label is 3 1/4 X 4 1/2", with "blank" working surface of 2 3/8 X 3 1/4". The watermark lettering slants the same direction as the 04 label, the lettering is a slightly darker and more visible light blue. This label is on a "peel from any corner" backing paper, and is roughly 1/16" from the edge of said paper on each side. It has rounded corners, and no colon after the words to and from. (the 2004 label includes colons after the to and from.)
Priority Hot Dog, servant to fat people, was drawn sideways on the label, and judging by the color of the priority lettering, I'd say on a 2006 sticker, with the "from and to" side up. If that's the case, the largest he could be is 2 3/8 (at the widest, top point) X 3 1/4" tall.
@ Goin' Postal ... well that answers my question. Thank you! I wouldn't say that this little hot dog is really all that fat.
So maybe "fat" is an incorrect spelling for "phat"!
There's an idea we can all get behind: Phat People RULE
Fat people, Remarkably Unskinny Let's Eat.
It's a glandular problem....
The little hot dog is not all that fat, but he wants to make US fat.. he LIVES to make us fat...
OH I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner..
that is what I'd truly love to beeeee
for if I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner,
everyone would be in love with meeeee.
Or is it a thumb? Anyone seen that spykids movie with Sly Stallone as the toymaker, and his army of thumb people?
http://tinyurl.com/thumbkin
Creeeeepy.
What if the whole Meaning of Life, our sole purpose for being on the planet, is to accumulate or amass the most atoms- occupy the most space? Matter is finite, so s/he who contains the most matter .. encompasses a larger part of the universe than those of lesser mass...
well, then Fat People really DO rule. They win. Sure, victory comes with some minor inconveniences, like double the air fare and possible untimely death.. but..
Excuse me, Your Royal Highness Turbo of the Thunderdome: shouldn't that be 'bow down before my FAT ass'?
(Not saying your fat or anything but...well, if the crown fits...)
I do know the difference between 'your' and 'you're' for all you grammar police types. It seems my fingers may not. (And I did just have a manicure so they look lovely and we can forgive them.)
we rule!? why didn't anyone tell me?
@ Finsterton ... or maybe just big boned? (which would make the hot dog guy in the Found a big boner, I suppose)
Erp, that's a good question. The atmosphere around here of late almost makes me miss SALT...and even that other common dinner table seasoning.
I want to know what happened to Alan goes pting in Joe Strummer's head! He always made me laugh, even if the find was kind of boring. Oh well, maybe he's morphed into someone else around here. That's what I like to think, anyway.
@Geek--bring them lots of food.
Fat people rule?
I would rather be a peon. Pass the carrot sticks, please.
This is true: the last time I went out to eat, the table was about 3 feet away from me. The owner told me they had to remodel in order to accommodate 'larger' patrons.
http://tinyurl.com/uspslabelart
FOUND should have posted this yesterday, on Fat Tuesday.
Yes, you are correct, minor subject. You may now kiss my cankles.
I also miss when Flargy was funny.
Zing!
No. Fat. Chicks.
P.S. "Farmer in In the Dell" should post his address so someone can send him a pipe bomb for him to "find." So sick of that douche.
yes, they do.
I guess my mind was somewhere else the first think I thought was looking at was Mr. Hankie. And I am NOT fat I am big boned
Eater Fuel Plop!
Ape pellet four!
Opera elf let up!
Leaf people rut!
Tearful peole.
Annie, how about "elope tearful"?
I think it has a nice ring to it, thought it doesn't bode well for "'til death do us part."
(no no no no. I do NOT want to imagine TURBO with cankles. no no no .. NO ONE in the Thunderdome ever had cankles.)
(no cankles)(got legs like Tina Turner)
Maybe the sticker artist simply misspelled a word. Maybe they meant to say Fat People ROLL.
@ Goin' Postal: You seem like a really awesome person. Just sayin'.
@ Frottage: Not nice!
Baha. Rock on.
Okay, so I had occasion today to visit my local post office (a couple of you out there should be watching your mailboxes... and let me know how long it takes a package to get to London, would ya?) so I picked up a Jan, 2008 revision Label 228. It's changed significantly from the last revision. (do they revise them every even numbered year? It would seem so. but it would also seem they hold the new ones back until the older ones are just about gone.)
Overall size is 3 1/4 X 4 1/2, it has a simple red stripe at the top. Now says, in blue, "For Domestic and International Use" between the Priority Mail logo and a newly added "shield" in red at the upper right. The shield says, "By air mail/ Par avion... Priority/ Prioritaire" and has a globe encircled with "International Express Priority".
It's still a "peel from any corner" label, with rounded corners.
There are no colons after the From (which is now tiny) and the To. (budget cuts, don't you know. Those colons and large font froms are spendy.)
Still has the slanting from lower left to upper right "priority mail" watermark in light blue, except in the TO field. That's blank.
(more budget cuts?)
The point of that red shield extends down below the line of the "from", thereby decreasing the available "blank" space for artwork. The work space on this mailing label is therefore about 3 1/4 X 1 7/8"
Unless you want to work with the tip of that red thingie and the from and to in there, and then it's about 2 1/4 X 4 1/2"
I'm thinking the USPS redesigned this label very thoughtfully, to render it less appealing to the graffitti stickerers by reducing their desirable workspace, and that's why the P.O. is now leaving the labels out on the counters for customer use again.
That is all.
Hell yeah we do...