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March 10, 2008 |
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I Can't Do This Any More
FOUND by Rich-Y
in Cincinnati, Ohio
Here's a sad little note I found on the sidewalk at the foot of the Clay Wade Bailey Bridge.
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Bastards They Are October 21, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
i hate when love makes you beg someone to leave.and it's always tragic when you can tell a persons problems are rooted in a lack of communication with their mom.
or your mom
It's hard to age the person based on their writing and the content. It looks like it could be anywhere from middle school to adult.
Remarkably, the entire letter has no punctuation. But I like that they were brave and honest, it isn't always easy.
I wonder why it cut off at the bottom.. wonder if there was more? I can make out "call your mom" but I'm not sure what is before the c? An i with a circle dot? None of her other i's have circle dots so I'm not sure.
I'm not sure 'we' can tell that the person's problems are rooted in his relationship with his or anyone else's mother. maybe it is an addiction issue and the author knows his mom will look after him.
'try to be a better man' is harsh (not that he doesn't deserve it) - i think it is hard to assign fine upstanding qualities to genders. he should be a better person?
and btw, don't attack me for being p.c. just pointing out that unless she wants him to have a 'better' penis (and I have just the spam for that) maybe she should be more specific about the qualities he needs to improve.
Oh this note just touched me! It's so sad! I must agree that it seems like this might revolve around an addiction.
I definitely don't think the author of the note could've been in Middle School... Not that middle schoolers can't be mature, but this note's WAY maturely written - even if it's without any punctuation marks (which as has been pointed out is extremely interesting). It's as though this is an honest stream of consciousness but carefully thought-out brainstorming.
Christina in Illinois: I don't think that cut-off "i with a circle dot" is an i; I think it's an exclamation point. In Spanish (and other languages) there is an opening as well as closing exclamation points, as well as question marks, just like quotation marks in English.
and to the man behind the curtain in oz: I don't think she needs to be more specific about the qualities he needs to improve - I'm sure that given the relationship the letter seems to imply they have, he probably will know exactly what she means.
i feel bad for the person it was for
I love the emphasis on calling their mom, it is such a weird way to end a breakup note... I wonder what exactly was the catalyst for this note, though, as it seems things maybe just got worse or they think the other person needs to figure stuff out.
yes, she should be more specific about what he has to improve, because he may know, but all of us here don't. these days when you write personal notes you should consider the fact that there is a chance that they will end up on the www and that people will grade them according to their completeness. so please either accompany your notes with a self-destroying device or add footnotes and bibliography for all the readers whose business it is none of!
Wait... what about his mom? That probably wasn't called for.
maybe she has been specific before, but maybe she hasn't. maybe it is something that i have noticed between couples, this vague sense of communication ... i told you to man up, now do it! that says nothing about how she feels or what she really wants or expects.
i agree that, given the tone, this isn't the first time they've discussed whatever the issue is - i was just taking issue with the phrase.
I read this and got: Breakup of an Extramarital Affair. There are many types of addiction,and infidelity is one. Some people are hooked on straying. "Go with your family, she will help you." She being the wife? A guy with kids, and the girlfriend is trying to be the strong one. Sort of like Casablanca in reverse, she has to do the thinking for both of them. She loves him, but knows this can't go on, either because she has a conscience or because she realises she's just one of many.
She says, "*I* can't do this anymore please." If he were addicted to drugs, she might say something like, "I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore". But she is directly involved. "I love you but I can't be with you or around you"--she knows the relationship isn't going to work, and she also knows she's got to get away from him or she'll be right back in the old destructive pattern.
The wife very well could be "scared for him"--scared he's going to throw his family away, scared that this time he's really going to leave.
"Call your mom"--maybe the only person who can get through to him, or the only person he'll talk to. I agree, that's the "circle" of an inverted Spanish exclamation point. We often forget they're not needed in English.
The handwriting is so stark, so black on such white paper. It really communicates the way she feels--an inner winter.
This guy will read the words 'I love you' as a 'please come back' - you have to really spell out for screwed up people.
Lost is 100% correct. Just like some people on hear what they want to hear, this person will focus only on what they wanted to read. Good analysis Baby Basil.
I like this find there is some substance to it but then again it makes me sad because stuff like this goes on.
What a downer... I'm in a terrible mood now, 'cuz of this and having school when other school boards've closed.
Grrr.
I'm interested in what kind of paper this is on, though. Looseleaf, or an unpunched notepad? One of those spiral ones? Maybe with the detachable holes, you know?
Do people keep looseleaf around when they aren't attending school anymore?
Found at the foot of a bridge? I hope the guy you got it didn't jump after all the guilt and stuff she lays on him in this note.
make that "...the guy WHO got it..."
I think "She" is implying to a different person than "Mom".
I agree with Baby Basil that it could be the breakup of an extramarital affair...
but another scenario could be that maybe this guy is not married but was torn between two women. Finally, one of them gives up the long fight. So this guy goes to his other love only to find out that she too is through with this love triangle. I believe that the first one, who wrote the letter, called his mom to break all ties. Maybe she had a great friendship with the mother. So when he finds out that he has noone because he has been playing these two women against each other he finds himself at a crossroads thus why the letter was found on a bridge.
I can't do this anymore could mean I can't make up stories why you didn't go to work, why our power got cut off, why you didn't show up, etc.... drug addiction. I can't pretend to believe your lies anymore. I'm giving up and pawning you off on your mom.
Behind the curtain, you have spam for a bigger penis? What?
After reading the first few words I thought this was sad. The rest of the way through it, all I thought was "WTF!! Learn to use some puncutation, ya doof!"
Here's the Cliffsnotes version:
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/673
My instincts screamed addiction also. If it were some kind of affair etc, why would "she" (mom, I think) be afraid for him? And why call his mom? "Do this"=rollercoaster.
OZ - very good points.
Well, we (obviously) don't know the background. The "call your mom" may make perfect sense to the recipient. She may have been urging him for some time to get in touch with his mother. Maybe the guy and his mother had been estranged? Maybe they had fallen out over something -- the very thing that was causing strife between the writer and recipient?
"You made it this way so live your life and try to be a better man." Again, I think he's a player, married or not. He set the parameters of this thing and he's not going to change. She has finally got that through her lovesick skull (there's a *reason* they call it "love sick")and she's calling time on him.
How do I know, you ask? Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. For every person on this earth there is an "anti-person"--that negative partner who will lie, play you for a fool, rattle your chain nonstop, and yet--unless and until you finally reject it at gut-level--has something that makes you go running back. They can tell you the sky is magenta and the grass is blue, and you know it's a lie, but you want to believe it.
Some of us never meet our "anti-partner"; others do, but manage to get away, even if it means leaving a paw (or at least our dignity) behind in the trap. Others, unfortunately, never get away.
Emotional games can be the most subtle, least recognised, form of abuse. "But honey I love you!" Yeah. Right.
Good for the person who wrote this note...and showed him a clean pair of heels.
It almost sounds like the guys is harrasing the note writer or maybe she has conflicting emotions like she really wants him to go but oh how it's going to hurt her to be away from him.
I also get the "player" vibe from this. The mom thing is not wierd at all. I know sooooo many people who think all mothers are the greatest thing in the world (because their mother is actually decent) and try to force the cult of mother on others. I'm not saying all mothers are bad, but not all deserve the admiration that some people assume.
With no punctuation at all, this felt like a running commentary, almost like a stream of consciousness. The thoughts spilling out on the page with no conjoining to the other thoughts and no punctuation. Interesting (or maybe I've just been doing too much Lit Theory :-P)
I think this guy and his mother are astranged. You know what they say- how a man treats his mother is how he will treat his girlfriend/wife. The mother has called the girlfriend, upset that her son isn't contacting her and grasping at straws. The girlfriend says "enough is enough, it's time to face up to your mom and stop acting like a little boy. Be a man for once in your life"
Man behind the curtain, there are male and female characteristics, and 'being a man' is not a social construct but what intrisitcally a man IS. 'Being a man' in this case means confronting his problem instead of hiding behind his girlfriend. Maleness and femaleness is so much more than primary sex characteristics.
There's no way this is about an extramarital affair. A wife being "scared for you and willing to help you" for cheating on her?? I don't think so. It's the mom that that's about.
I don't know why, but I get the impression that the note receiver has a gambling addiction. It's just a strange hunch.
@Kirax - I know what you mean about the Mom thing. Personally, I have the greatest Mom in the world and I admit that I used to be this way.
But, my husband’s mother is absolutely horrible. People think I'm exaggerating when I say that she is a combo of the mom from 'Everybody Loves Raymond', the mom from 'George Lopez' and George's mom from 'Seinfeld.' She is truly wretched, and toxic. The only good thing she ever does is act as a model on how NOT to do things.
Tori, my mother in law is also annoying. She constantly makes my husband feel guilty about not spending more time with her. No amount of time would ever be enough, unless it was every single day. She is 80 years old, married, and never "had a life" outside of raising her kids, so she still treats my 50 year old husband like he is 5. My own 70 year old mom has a full, rich and busy life outside of her family life, and I aspire to be like her.
Also, you're right, this note very well could be about gambling addiction.
Well, you don't know what a wonderful Mother N Law you've been given until you find out that she has ruined your husband's credit and has made it nearly impossible for you two to get a house. On top of that, she belittles you and encourages your husband to do likewise.
I didn't look very carefully at the bottom, and I thought it said "I'm not your mom"
Very timely. sad. bummin. And A Situation I've been in... well you echo my sentiments exactly.
but it does also sound like a "mistress" (do they still call 'em that?) advising the guy to return to his wife and kids...
bummin' note, but it doesn't wreck my already gloomy Monday-- not much can do that today. wheeeee.
I think it's a young couple, he's an alcoholic and she finally kicked him out. He keeps coming to the door and calling, trying to talk to her. He's been staying with a friend, sleeping on the couch because he doesn't want to go "crawling back home to mama". He came to the house today and found this note on the door. It's really hard for him to consider telling his mom, because she's been telling him this girl is the best thing that ever happened to him and now he's screwed it up.
Could the paper be one of those very little notebooks with the spirals at the top? It looks like that size...
The "she" referred to in the body of the note is probably Mom. The writer says "she" shortly after saying that his family can help. I think it is an addiction issue, and the relationship is not far enough along that the writer wants to deal with it any longer. So I guess the intervention reverts to the family.
I agree.....Call your Mom.
I think it says "i call your momlll". This person likes to talk to the reciever's mother. After a second read, it seems that this situation is in actuallity a case where a young man "ran away" from home and has bumbled every decision made on his own. They probably needed to get out of there anyway cause thier mother was smothering them, sometimes mean mothers are the hardest to get away from.
Whatever the problem, (addiction, gambling, an affair, drugs, estrangment with his mom, and or family) this man needs help or maybe an intervention?
At least this author came to her senses, and chose to take the proper route. Especially if it was an ongoing affair, or estrangment with his mom.
Hopefully this man got the help he needed.
I think at the bottom of the note, it says, "call your mom!!!"
I believe those are exclamation points.
@D I agree.
The writer says 'go with your family,' then writes 'she will help you' immediately after that. Then immediately after that she says 'call her she's scared for you.' Then at the end it says 'call your Mom.'
Nowhere does it mention anyone else. I guess it could be possible, but it seems more plausible to me that the writer is referring to the recipients mother.
..."she"/"her" is definitely Mom.
EVIDENCE:
"...she is scared for you...call her"
&
"call your mom"
Excuse me for the unnecessary elipses. It didn't look right without some sort of punctuation.
Also, my spam protection = What is the number before 66965? Perhaps the 69 was what The Man Behind the Curtain in Oz was referring to...?
He's depressed, clingy, and smothering. But she's not clear about what she wants either. If she wants him to leave her alone, she needs to say that and not "for awhile" otherwise she's saying that their relationship, whatever the nature, is not over and he's not going to leave her alone.
That is one HELL of a run-on sentence.
¡Call your Mom!
Good advice for us all. I'm going to call mine today.
This sounds like one henpecking nag I'd be glad to be rid of.
This is so typical of a woman. Any self respecting man would say 'fuck off'. Or better yet he'd say nothing and ignore her calls until she left him alone.
This note makes me feel scared, because people don't usually drop notes like this, and it was found on a bridge. have there been suicides on that bridge lately?
it's possible...
"The bridge has been the sight of several falls and suicide attempts over the years"
taken from this (unrelated)(and old) article:
http://www.enquirer.com/editions/1998/01/05/lo
I think that if this note were more specific, like why he/she couldn't do this anymore or better yet a list of all the things that he/she can't take anymore...then I would consider it nagging. That is what nagging people do because I am one of them. We put constant reminders up of what the individual is doing wrong; albeit, by phone, person, letter, etc. However, the writer of this note seems more or less like he/she has talked it through to this guy and in a last ditch effort they had to write a note so that maybe the individual receiving it would get the message...leave me alone!
Sometimes admitting that there is a problem can be the hardest part. I'm glad that this person was able to come forth and tell the other person how they felt.
did he drown in murky waters? - Let's hope that wasn't the case for this guy. Hopefully he got the help he needed and that this situation had a happy ending. Maybe as he was driving by the bridge on his way home to see his mom the note flew out of the window.
Hmmm... seems to me that this is one of the essential "pre-steps" to a 12-step addiction recovery program.... (aka: the step before the step, that's before The Steps... ?) Leading to the oft-mentioned "bottom".
(the Step before the Steps is where the person is sick & tired of being sick & tired and *is willing to do anything* to change/stop this behavior)
Could be drugz, gambling, alcohol, lying -- OR extra-marital affair[s].
BUT, if it was foolin' around outside the bonds of marriage, MY first reaction wouldn't be "call your mom because she cares" (unless I was the wife?)
"... She [mom] will help you I know it. She is scared for you... " If it's adultery, how could mom help? Provide condoms??
....
However, in the case of addicts (vs. "normies"), this letter & loss of (significant other?) may not do the trick. One of my favorite recorded 12-step speakers says:
-- I know there are such things as "normal" people, but I can't comment on that. I mean, I've SEEN it, but I don't understand it. People who have a drink at a restaurant, waiting for their table... the table is ready and they LEAVE the rest of their drink! to go to the table!! I don't understand that -- it's downright unGRATEFUL!
-- Take the situation -- the wife/girlfriend says, "I just can't take this any more. If you don't stop [check one: drinking, drugging, etc] I'm LEAVING."
Now a normal person would say themself "Dang! this woman is a good person, I don't want to lose her. I'd better start changing!.."
But in MY case, I start thinkin' about what it's going to be like to be alone, 'cause this thing isn't work out!!
--- Or if the judge says "I've had enough of this... if I see you one more time in my courtroom, you're doing a full year in jail!!" A normal person would shudder, and find a way to stop going to court. Now *I'd* have to accept the fact that I'm going to jail!!
~~
[He's a great speaker & hasn't gone to jail in 20+ years now.]
I hope the bridge didn't swallow the fellow who got this note.
[And I hate Spam Protect questions that I have to jot down to make sure my answer is correct!! NO HIGHER MATH please!]
Beth in a ray of sunshine wrote: "With no punctuation at all, this felt like a running commentary, almost like a stream of consciousness. The thoughts spilling out on the page with no conjoining to the other thoughts and no punctuation." You and I clearly both do lots of Literary analysis because I wrote the same thing! (Gin in Tonic wrote: "It's as though this is an honest stream of consciousness but carefully thought-out brainstorming.") I enjoyed reading your analysis a lot.
Kirax: Your "running away from home" analysis is very intersting! I hadn't thought of that angle, and it does make quite a lot of sense!
did he drown in murky waters?: So sad... but we all thought of it didn't we? :( Hope not!
nz in the middle of nowhere: I TOTALLY agree with you.
Camelia in Sillicon Valley Callee-fornia: Very interesting stuff!
Mother-in-Law as an anagram: Woman Hitler
I know these people. The guy ran away from home at 16, has anger issues, never really held a job. The girl is a young mother and she can't expose the baby to his rages anymore. He will never get over his issues until he fixes his relationship with his mother. She is still hopeful... if only he would call his mother.
Let's just assume the writer is a woman. A woman named Mary just to make things easy. (No offense to anyone named Mary.) And let's call the recipient John. (Again no offense to anyone named John.) Maybe Mary is a little nutty. Maybe there's nothing wrong with John. Maybe John just isn't the person that Mary wants him to be so she has created this scenario in her head that John must have some issues that he needs to work out. For example maybe John's problem is commitment. He won't commit to Mary and even his mother is concerned about this because his mother loves Mary. To John's mother Mary is the perfect woman for him to spend the rest of his life with and provide her with lots of grandchildren.
Maybe Mary really does need some space SO SHE CAN GET OVER IT. He's not going to change.
For the record: I don't know any couples named Mary and John. But I do know some women who are pretty nutty.
I think this is not a note to another person-- rather the writer wrote down all (s)he wanted to say so as not to leave anything out when (s)he talked to his or her manipulative ex-whatever, who is probably an addict. The notes are probably for a phone conversation. I totally wrote this note once.
I used part of this script once to leave a band I had helped found and that wasn't going anywhere, basically because the other founder-member didn't believe it was important enough to actually do any practicing...we were supposedly so "good" or whatever, that half an hour's run-through just before a gig should be plenty! ??? So, yes, I left them to it, and when I got "the phonecall" I said, "Please understand. I just can't do this anymore...I don't even want to."
What is the opposite of bad? Well, according to Alderney, that should be "totally awesome!"
the "you made it this way so now live your life" part makes me think that this is not a universally recognized destructive behavior. maybe it's a life choice "he" has made that the other person (some have said "the nag") cannot understand, but is perfectly valid. maybe he's decided to go into the military and she just can't stand to be apart or to be at the mercy of his orders.
or maybe he's an alcoholic and she's tired of picking his ass up at the bar.
in any case, it's good to get it out, even if it's in the form of a note and not a conversation.
If you re-read it in a sarcastic tone, it could be from a woman who's sick of her man and his mommy's-boy ways. He doesn't want to do anything with this woman without his mother's approval, consent, always has to get home to Mamma, calls Mamma half-way through their date, maybe even still lives with his Mamma!
Sarcasm doesn't translate in notes, just like it doesn't translate on the internet!
i wonder if he actually got the note.
I think all of the notes coming from guys calling the writer a nutty woman are funny.
This note does not have a nutty tone to me. A serious tone, more likely.
It makes me wonder where these guys have gotten similar notes from "nutty" women.
yeah, those crazy females, always being the voice of reason..
ha.
I don't know if I can trust the judgement of sanity made by some of those who have said the writer is nutty...
Hey, Tea (I love you, by the way, especially when you're Earl Grey): I am one of the people who said the writer is nutty and I'm a woman. I have met quite a few very nutty women along the miles I've traveled. I've also known plenty of women who at one point or another have done some nutty things. The one thing all the nutty women I've met have in common is desperation. I bet you've met some too.
Beth in a ray of sunshine wrote: Man behind the curtain, there are male and female characteristics, and 'being a man' is not a social construct but what intrisitcally a man IS. 'Being a man' in this case means confronting his problem instead of hiding behind his girlfriend. Maleness and femaleness is so much more than primary sex characteristics.
Beth, I challenge you to name three characteristics that only men have, and I will watch the pandemonium from here. There will be at least one woman who identifies strongly with a characteristic you define as strictly male and vice versa. We are all a balance of both - yin and yang - no one person is all yin or all yang.
@The man behind the curtain:
This isn't an attack of your political correctness, but I think the phrase "be a better man" really does mean 'be a better person', but since the writer wrote this to a man, she said "man".
It's sad that the only way the person could make the impact of the message was to write it out for the other person.
Sounds like a disaster situation going on there.
agent ling hi - i could not agree more
Turbo: you literally make me laugh out loud every time you post.
Also, why is everyone assuming the writer is female? There are no definite indications (like a name) to identify the writer as one or ther other.
Here's my thoughts on what she means.
Abuse. Emotional to be specific. She can't do it anymore and his mother is scared for him because she's been through an emotionally abusive relationship as well. His mother is strong now, and has probably talked to this girl, and seen the pattern. Maybe the guy drinks too much or parties too much, and has changed for the worse, and girl is ready to get out and be happy on her own because being around him is too painful because she still cares for him immensely.
and baby basil, I feel you on the anti-partner thing.
this girl has been drug back and forth through the mud with this guy, and she loves him, but wants him to grow up, and find himself again.
Did anyone else find it chilling that this note was found on the foot of a bridge? Think about it... if this guy really does have an addiction problem like everyone has assumed... he may have been so distraught by the note that he decided to take a dive.
Danielle, I agree. The more I look at the handwriting, the more I think it is like my brother's. A man! Not a woman! And it may not be addiction people, it may be something as simple as he's doesn't replace the loo roll when it's finished. God knows, I've thought about ending relationships for less. How hard can it be? Toilet paper runs out (and leaving 1 sheet on there as a ruse doesn't count guys), REPLACE THE FARKEN ROLL!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, man can land on the moon, undertake space travel, kill spiders without flinching but CANNOT REPLACE A TOILET ROLL. Hmmmm. vent over - suffice to say I live with 3 men and it's an issue!
Cabbage has a tissue issue...lol.
"I don't have a square to spare."
I have to write a note like this with every affair.
Cabbage, come live with us...my DH has become the "toilet roll police" ever since he retired. And the vaccuuming police, and the dishwasher police. It's all new to him, and old news to me...so I let him get on with it and do other things while he mutters.
@cait and her cat, I like 'drug' as the past tense of 'to drag'.
In which case:
'to snag' = snug ('I snug my dress on a thornbush')
'to nag' = nug ('She nug him to do something about it')
'to wag' = wug ('the dog wug its tail')
'to flag' = flug ('glad that got flug up')
'to shag' = shug ('she was well shug last night')
Oh, the English language is a wonderful thing! A source of endless confusion to foreigners, heh heh.
@cait and jonathan:
'to bag' = bug ('He bug my groceries')
'to gag' = gug ('She was gug and bound')
'to rag' = rug ('We rug on him')
Which means, of course that
'shrug' = shrag ('Stop shragging your shoulders')
'bug' = bag ('Am I bagging you?)
I feel I am bagging you so I'll stop now.
'to sag'= sug ('The old broad's tits sug to her knees.')
http://www.hackerfactor.com/GenderGuesser.html#Anal
the above link will assist you in making decisions about a writer's gender.
cait and her cat in the window seat: I like your insight a lot. Thank you :)
Jonathan in linguistic speculation: FABULOUS stuff!
Suspended in Gaffa: SO GOOD!
The English as a Second Language and then English Literature major in me simply adored this one.
Hi, Gin in T and Suspended in Gaffa -- do you know Steven Pinker's book 'The language Instinct'? Absolutely brilliant.
He has a list of 'irregular plurals' (quoted from Richard Lederer) including:
house = hice
mother = methren
booth = beeth
Kleenex = Kleenices
bathtub = bathtubim
Macintosh = Macinteesh
-- and similar eye-opening games with verbs (a teacher who taught, a preacher who praught) and lots more stuff. Had forgotten what a wonderful and illuminating book that is!
Oh, he even has 'drag -- drug' as a genuine regional dialect form. Well I'll be durn.
I always thought that the plural of booth should be booves.
No Kat. Booves is the plural of boof.
Bartender?!
Hooray for Jonathan! (and Suspended!) I was laughing so hard I couldn't finish reading..tears streaming down my cheeks!
hee hee hee! I needed that.
AS THE ORIGINAL POSTER OF THIS FOUND ITEM...
I hope to answer a few questions that keep cropping up in multiple comments above:
1) The note at the bottom says:
" ¡Call your Mom!!! "
I guess the author was saving all his/her punctuation marks 'til the end.
I'm not sure why it's cut off; the original scan showed it all.
2) The note ends following the third exclamation point. Nothing else was cut off.
3) The note was indeed written on one of those small, "assignment" pads with the spiral at the top of the page.
4) I found the note face side down on one of the streets on the Cincinnati (north) side of the Clay Wade Baily Bridge. A few seconds before I found the note there had been a small, drizzle of a shower but the note had just finished drying in the sun. It was left with a stiff, bumpy, cardboard-like feeling.
5) I always thought of this as a boyfriend/girlfriend note with drugs being the main culprit of the breakup. But I love all these different views. They've made my day!
i dont think it has to do with addiction at all. i think maybe a girl ran away from home and her boyfriend cannot keep hiding her any longer. maybe she doesnt know how to be sneaky and he cant take it!
Ghost + Kat:
Uh uh.
boof is the singular of beef, i.e. one head of cattle.
so what's the plural of spoof?
Speef?
Spooves?
And is the plural of 'poop' peep?
No Jonathan, peep is yellow.
Jonathan: One poop, two Pepys.
Trust me.
It's sad.
His mom can help him and she knows it.