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April 03, 2009 |
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I Could Be Playing Halo
FOUND by John Masters
in Arlington, VA
I manage a dog walking company so I'm out on street most every day and this is my most prized find! I'm amazed by it in general, especially the disregard the teacher had in her notes -- it seems she was mostly worried about format over the truly psychotic nature of the text.
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Hand in Mouth January 02, 2006 |
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Brusha Brusha Brusha! May 29, 2005 |
Give Craig Money October 01, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
And I quote:
"You take my life but I'll take yours too
You'll fire your musket but I'll run you through
So when you're waiting for the next attack
You'd better stand there's no turning back"
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Maiden is awesome.
i had hoped all these would be Haikus, but alas only the one about Resident Evil is. Don't worry Iron Maiden, here's one for you
Iron maiden rock
They are such an awesome band
Let's go play Halo
Nothing "psychotic" here, John...just a bored adolescent "taking the Michael." As he (?) says, it's boring, it sucks, he doesn't want to be doing it...so let's write something "disturbing" to rattle Teacher's chain!! I've done it myself, though I enjoyed creative writing...I didn't like the teacher and enjoyed shaking her out of her superiority even more. It was great to write something that made a crack in her "I'm the teacher and you are dirt" attitude. (Neither her tenure nor her marriage lasted, so it wasn't just me.)
What a rebel!
Looking forward to
The inevitable text
From Highplainsdrifter.
Hey Teach, so what if they don't scan? Some of these are more creative than most of the drivel you'll get from the rest of the class.
There's every chance this student thought you said: "High? Cool!" rather than "Haiku" anyway.
I think a 16 out of 20 is very generous.
Iron Maiden Sucks
backwards is always better
if the volume's down.
Oh wow... That's easily 19/20! Wouldn't you say!
lazy fire writing
flunking English by day
work in McD's at night
spare the rod
and spoil the teenager
use a big branch
flunking student
will burn your house down tonight
alibi playing video
pyro in the room
he may come and burn your house
give him an A plus
a descent to hell
road to life is long and hard
bring a bag lunch
I love this find!
Iron Maiden Sucks
I'm feeling Incoherent
Will Lauren go Pee?
kaldonia, I totally agree!
16 out of 20 for that crap?
This kid's haikus suck.
I mean they totally suck.
Seriously suck.
I think the psychotic nature really kicks in on the other side, if you "magnify" to see it.
About burning, burning, you all die from the fire... stuff like that.
Honestly, the teacher's note seems pretty calm. Unworried and such.
I love how the "Haiku" writer descends into CaveMan talk by the end of the project.
Hmm. Yes.. Verrrrrrrrryyy Interesting...
But STUPID!
Could the teacher sounds calm because she knows this kid pretty well after having him in class for 6 months?
I think the teacher's disconnected, unconcerned attitude is because she's been teaching this student long enough to know he's trying to pull a Baby Basil on her: shock her, shake her, make her feel small and afraid.
If she reacts how the alarmists here (there, and everywhere) want her to react, he wins, and they both know it.
Of course, there IS the possibility that he actually was out in the wee hours of the A.M. following a few quality hours of halo a/o resident evil, lighting deadly fires and stomping on kittens' heads. If that be the case, she's obviously sitting back and waiting for someone else to catch this particular ball. (like a parent? dare to dream.)
Unless he checks in at the "HEY! That's ME!" section, we'll never know.
Who's homework is this? Beavis or Butthead?
He sounds juuuust like the kind of guy I would have been interested in when I was in high school. Yeah.
I can't read the teacher's handwriting.
Please rewrite as final what?
Teacher is calm because he/she wasn't looking at the content, only counting the syllables. If the kid had gotten the syllable count correct he would have gotten full marks even having written random words.
(Anyway, is "fire" one syllabe or two? I know folks from south of the Mason-Dixon line who pronounce it as one; sounds like "far". Arlington's pretty far north in Virginia, but still.)
rewrite as final. As in final draft.
I miss Pastor Z. Where'd he go? Are you lurking, Pastor Z? Stop in and say Howdy.
Fire is three syllables: fy-ee-urrr.
16/20 is indeed generous. "Your haikus are interesting"??? How?
Good morning gorgeous.
Cheerios on the table,
Waiting your lips.
Beer on the beach, eh?
Ditching school to stand there cold,
Whether snow or sand.
Dad from donut van.
Hopes to get into paper.
Sending kid to kill.
Avid golfer twin.
Looking for one false statement.
Drops the bowling ball.
Birds fly. People don’t.
The theory falls apart there.
How can I forget?
Spanish textbook warns.
Feliciano: bad news.
Get out of her class.
U go Cyprus soon?
Drink beer, strike out all night long.
Come home. Broke. Wasted.
Sign up. Be strong soon.
Grade school kids only. Get it?
One dollar each week.
We've had quite the repeat week here at found, haven't we?
spam protection: Hey! That's my graduation month!
Librarian
Those were some awesome haikus
Thank you for sharing.
Too lazy to work
I should be doing some work
Why can't I do work?
(I give myself extra credit for ending each line with "Work" and creatively title the piece: "Work, to do or not to do".)
i read found everyday
the comments bring me back here
you guys are funny
never liked haiku
prose prettier when you rhyme
just my point of view
too pretty outside
but stuck behind desk until five
found finds get me by
i think i'm getting this down...no? ah, well, like i said, rather be playing in the dirt....
Iron Maiden is not the best heavy metal band in the whole world.
Sorry to burst your bubble, fire boy.
(anyway, that is what I would have written on his paper if I were the teacher.)
One of those who thinks
incorrectly that haikus
are 5/9/5. Boo!
@mlm -- I think we dated the same guy. Actually, when I saw this I thought the handwriting looked suspiciously like my ex-high-school-boyfiend's handwriting. Ha!
@Lolita -- Who *is* the best heavy metal band, then?
hey, gimme a break. trapped at work the brain goes numb...'sides...i did 5/8/5 so thpppt
happy friday ya'll!
glad work is done finally
how bout that k lee?
Brain problem: Black Sabbath.
No question
I'm not good enough
Couldn't be playing Halo
or be wearing one
@gardner -
It's not a haiku
then, just a lame poem. Hy-
phens can be helpful.
@k lee
that's 5/6/5 hyphen or otherwise. i win!
going to the beach
hope you're day is as much fun
never liked haiku
Boo! Poem is two syllables! :)
People make me very mad when they say "haikus." The plural of haiku is HAIKU!!!!!!!