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April 27, 2009 |
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Beware the Flip
FOUND by Evan
in Boston, MA
I left my bike locked to a parking meter overnight, and this note was stuck to it when I came down in the morning. Perhaps left by Concerned Citizens Against Quick-Release Wheels? I bet it's whoever drives the Herbalife van I parked next to.
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Watch Your Man! April 25, 2004 |
Preliminary Data March 28, 2007 |
This Man Attacked Me July 27, 2003 |
Your Car June 17, 2006 |
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to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
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First, today? Insomnia has its advantages!
Stealing your expensive parts sounds most uncomfortable, levers or not. If there's no way to prevent this (like maybe taking the levers with you?) there's not much point to the note. Unless Mr Herbalife Van just wanted to ruin Evan's day.
Perhaps it was a passing clairvoyant, just overflowing with predictions and post-it papers
If the crackheads can figure out the old "3 lever problem" that our physics professors used to pose for us, then more power to them.
Also, is 'flipping a lever' some kind of slang for the equally slangy 'flipping a bird'?
Herbalife Dealers will steal your peace of mind with a pen and blue paper.
Yikes! Crackheads stole my expensive parts, but thank goodness they left my naughty parts!
Crackheads will steal your expensive parts with the flip of 3 levers, but the local riff-raff will most likely just slash your tires.
Crackheads, crackheads, roly-poly crackheads. Crackheads, crackheads, eat them up, yum!
crackheads will steal everything. Your jewelry, your money, your life, your soul, your DVD collection...
Crackheads will steal the expensive parts of your bike.
Meth addicts will take your bike apart completely while tweaking, then not remember how to put it back together. You will recognize the parts of your bike in a box, at the pawn shop.
Does "expensive parts" include breast implants, orthodontia, and hair plugs?
I'd like to see the lever that would move THAT world...
Lolita, Too funny.
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=v
I remember that song when MTV first came out in 1980. God, I'm old.
Crack is whak.
Was this written by Whitney Houston?
After reading the above "crack is whak" comment, I keep visualizing Whitney Houston crouched down behind the Herbalife van, all tweaked out, trying to steal Evan's bike...
Crackheads will also rob you and threaten to kill you while you are working as a clerk at a porn store.
...hey now - I can't be having my expensive parts being tampered with... 3 levers or otherwise...
Naw- not the bike. Just the seat, the tires, and oh yeah.. your bike light mount (WHY? the light's not even on there!) and your Zefal tire pump.
Will they return my menopause b/c it's not what they expected?
LOL at Lolita!
Crackheads will also try smoking various shit like ambien when they run out of crack. And think they're in an amusement park when they're really in the bathroom.
Crackheads may steal your expensive parts, but seductive women in Vegas will always take your kidney.
Courtenay, the driver of the Herbalife van, loved to leave cryptic warnings in places. One time she left a warning about a drug dealer killing Mike's kids. And another time she left a note that said, "Holla! The world is going to be ruined." Some people would say she was crazy, but she preferred to think she really was warning people of possible dangers.
Late thought: maybe it isn't "3 levers". Maybe, because of the way people spell on most of our Finds, it is actually "Believers".
i KNOW who wrote this note...
Thank you for posting a note on the bike telling all the low-lifes in the area just how easy it is to steal a bike. Normally they would have just walked on by and wouldn't have even noticed a bike sitting there.
Just me, it's not about them stealing bikes. It's about bikes having quick release levers for quick and easy removal of seats and tires, while the bike itself is securely locked to a sign post.
Just get a cable lock long enough to go through the spokes of both wheels and lock it up to a smallish tree or sign post. And take your seat with you.
Where I lived up til a little over a year ago, the crackies and tweekers had discovered how easy it was to steal all the romex wire and copper pipe from construction jobsites and sell it for cash. Or copper pots from Chinese temples, or copper sculptures from Buddhist shrines. There's always some irreputable scrap recycler who'll buy anything that comes in.
The Bicycle Thief (a true story): my little brother's bike was locked to a tree and some crackhead with a bolt cutter took it. The punchline: when the police got around to busting the shitty little thief and his house chock-full of stolen property, they found my brother's bike, which had been fixed up by the inveterate thief. My guess is that once he realized how good and rare Bianchi bicycles are in America, he decided to "adopt" it and pamper it, much like a stolen Pit Bull that is somehow far too adorable for the dogfighting ring, so much so that he warms the cockles of even the most callous dogfighting promoter's tiny black heart. Adorable.
Oh, and by the way, does anyone remember that movie where this guy carefully locks up his bike to a sign post, walks away, and a short time later, a goofy-looking klepto comes along, lifts the sign post, and walks off with the bike? What movie was that in? It was hilarious. At least that scene was.