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April 29, 2009 |
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Do Not Eat Sousage
FOUND by Andrea
in Georgia
I found this on the floor in the supermarket I work in. At first I thought it was a grocery list, but obviously it's not.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Click magnify to see the back.
It's cute that little kids give advice too.
Full of great test-taking advice (Pack number 2 pencils [Make ture they are sharpen]), but he has hit upon the secret only known to professionals: Do not eat sousage!
"buble it in good"-- so funny. Doesn't seem like his kind of gig so does this mean his career's in a lull at the moment?
Presumably 'sousage' is what leads to Sousa-esque sounds that would be disruptive in a testing environment.
Have P.M.A. day!
'Drink water. Not too much. Bring glasses.' If I've already drunk the water, what good will the glasses do? Or is that to prove to the proctos that I did in deed drink all the water (but not too much)?
And, yes indeed, I've heard that having P.M.A. is way much better than having P.M.S. on a test day.
Funny thing is, the CRCT is the Congressional Republican Competency Test, given to determine if a congressperson will qualify to run for re-election. This is serious business!
I hope they did OK after losing this valuable advice sheet!
An finely, if its a spelling test, cammit sewerside.
"Bubble it in good" means to completely fill in the "bubbles" on the exam answer form. Obviously the exam is "multiple guess" (well, only multiple Choice if you've actually studied)and corrected by machine.
This is great! Testing here in my part of California and these poor students! Hope this one, er, uh, didn't have to spell anything important and remembered not to eat sausage.
Ya know what accountants do when they are constipated? They work it out with a pencil.
Though the idea of this find being written by a republican congressperson cracked me up, I think it's more likely a kid preparing for Criterion-Referenced Competency Tests.
Butt I suppose it'd have to be a number 2 pencil?
This is a 'note to self' note from 8th grader psyching up for the CRCT
The Criterion Referenced Competency Test (CRCT) is administered to students in the Georgia school system.
I picture some pimply faced kid - with big black frame glasses, fidgety, with an overactive bladder, dry mouth and irritable bowel syndrome - who desperately wants to do well on the CRCT (for some reason)...but is worried he might not be able to leave the testing area to get to the restroom once the testing has started....
@Casual observer--
*sound of a rim shot (ba-dum-dum)
*sound of a cymbal crash!
Yes, don't eat sausage, because if you fart in the middle of the test, everyone will know it's you and you'll clear the room with the smell and everyone will have to take the test over and...and...Oh, just don't eat sausage!
So many nerves, poor child.. I'd tell him: This test isn't worth it, kid! Relax. Life is so much more than passing a stupid test.
Is not from State of Georgia, Amerikanskii. Is from Republic Georgia.
CRCT is "Communistiki Re-educationskii Countrywideskaya Trialstaj." In Englisch is by Babelfish: "Communists Re-educated Country-wide Trials".
Thank you very much. You are sending dollars 100 to my bank account, please, as government does no longer provide salary jobs for book libraries.
"Chek it and buble it in good": this kid is soooo lucky that the test is multiple choice.
"ooh... I shouldn't a had that sausage...I think have to go poo... <starting to sweat>
..ohoh.. I don't think I did a good job filling in that bubble on question 17...<<squints>> I wished I had remembered my glasses.. Oh no! I'm using a No.3 Pencil
...and I have to pee sooooo bad"
Oh, and one more thing: that "#2 pencils ONLY" thing is a lie: In high school I tried these "bubble" tests with pencils of other lead softness and never had any trouble. It's probably the devious handiwork of Faber-Castell and Dixon (manufacturer of the ubiquitous "Ticonderoga" pencil).
Frottage, do you know our Basil? I'm only saying because you used the word "ubiquitous".
No, I am not, to the best of my knowledge, personally acquainted with "baby basil." However, we do grow basil at my house, but indoors, as it's still too cold out here in the asshole of the Earth. Besides, "ubiquitous" is a fairly ubiquitous word in certain circles.
After repeating his senior year of high school for the second time, Chris was yet again preparing for the Criterion Referenced Competency Test. He always seemed to fail the spelling section, but then again, so did all his other Georgian friends.
@Frottage and Orinoco--Yes, ubiqiutous is pretty common. We even have a friend that we call "Ubiqiutous Dennis" because he is around so much!
dang! Spelled it wrong BOTH times! Gah!
I think P.M.A. means
Positive
Mental
Attitude
I thought it was only my 11th grade English teacher who used that acronym, but it seems to fit here too. She was obsessed with it and I think she even had it on her license plate. She also said "Huzzah" a lot.
Maybe I'll use these pointers for when I take the GRE.
I hope it's a MATH test- all the breskfast in the world won't help if s/he has to spell the ansers!
Can I eat sausage after I go to the bathroom?
The sausage is a reward for after the taste. Yeah, better save that for later.
*test
oops. food on the brain
Too much talking and not enough lissoning.
it's testing week in ohio - this makes me very sad in many ways
I am not familiar with the CRCT. I don't know how important it is to one's overall high school or jr. high school success, BUT...
this is a pretty lengthy and detailed list this fella has here to ensure he does his best. I might venture to say he's nervous about the whole thing and really wants to do well. In that case, "study A LITTLE" made me laugh, given everything else on this list and the consideration given to all other aspects of prepping for a test (or his method of prepping).
Heck, I'd just skip the studying "a little" and instead go to bed even earlier than originally planned and go the bathroom twice beforehand. That's the key...
By the way, I had to get out a calculator to answer the spam protection question. No spam gettin here!
i think it's kind of sad. i love how badly he wants to pass. it's not just the spelling, but the handwriting also makes me nervous for our intrepid scholar. i remember having friends like that, they just couldn't get certain things. they would make efforts in vain. you would watch them seize up before the test. a glazed look would slowly creep into panic and visible nausea. they weren't the people you knew by the time the tests were handed out, and their panic and your empathy for them made you unable to look at them any longer. they just couldn't memorize arbitrary rules. there was something in their way i couldn't understand.
Did you eat sousage?
Yes.
You have failed the CRCT.
NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!
This is surprisingly helpful to those of us enduring the AP exams this coming week, albeit childish, and slightly obvious. It reminds me of the lists I used to make before EOCs in grade school. The good old days of enforced napping.
Classy spam protection.
I ate the sausage one morning and had a coughing fit in the totally-silent room. The next day that I had sausage, I caught the hiccups and had to stand in a closet for a moment so that I didn't disturb other test takers.
I didn't eat sausage after that. It's a bad luck charm.
I always fail tests after I eat sousage. Sousage is the bane of my existence.