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May 31, 2009 |
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Coke Helps
FOUND by Carrie
in Oregon City, OR
The students at the high school have been pretty upset since the government mandated healthier food in the vending machines. Apparently this student thought he could give a good persuasive speech about it.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
This is true. The law in Oregon now forbids soft drink vending machines for students.. but the biggest controversy has been over taking the vending machines out of the teachers' lounges.
In my experience, mourning does make people tired. However, a soft drink is not going to help with the recovery process!
So, I thought that coke has taken a backseat to those 'energy' drinks, like Red Bull, Monster-something, and whatever else it loaded with caffeine, sugar, and 'energy' shit.
Yes, weeping for the loss of a loved one often is accompanied by insomnia, so maybe a Coke would help you get through the visitation and funeral and reception. But after that, check with your doctor and get some sleep. Lack of sleep plus overstimulation via artificial substances can cause psychotic behaviour.
Fooch, there are several documented cases in Ireland and other parts of Europe of death by "energy drink." Apparently, consuming more than three in an hour can cause heart failure, collapse and/or "aberrant behaviour."
There's a story going the rounds that Red Bull contains a "secret drug" developed for the shockwave troops in VietNam. Whether there's any truth to that legend, I couldn't tell you.
I have found that a line of coke pretty well eliminates the mourning blues. The other coke products were to damaging to my system. My sense of smell is numb.
irst two pages, though, were just as stoopid as the the thir
I thought s/he was writing about the powdery white substance, not the beverage, at first.
Have a coke and a smile.
See? Really. It helps with mourning process.
[Scattered Applause]
[Applause Fades]
Hello.
I don't have much to say.
But I think it would be good to have
some holy santos brought to the high school...
to guard the hallway and to bring us good luck.
El Santo Niño de Atocha is a good one.
My Aunt Concha has seen him.
And...
and I'd like to see more of that. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true.
Thank you.
[Scattered Applause]
Jason, like all the other students, wanted the soda machines back. When they had to write a persuasive essay for English, he wrote it on getting the Coke back. He came up with three reasons to bring back: people are tired in the morning, people get thirsty at lunch, and people are tired when they are mourning.
Growing up, my parents were dyed-in-the-wool coffee addicts. We kids weren't allowed to drink coffee because it was a "stimulant" and bad for us. Tea and Coke, however, were fine. They didn't seem to realise that the caffiene and sugar we were getting were way higher than what the adults were drinking in their (weak) coffee.
My mother's logic for buying Coke was that it was cheaper than milk. Oy.
Mountain dew makes yew smarter then coke.
i was supposed to sing that coke song at xmas time, in grade 2. i threw up on the girl in front of me. Red head, could whistle through her teeth. sorry.think her name was maureen.
Page three point number three- I wonder how many pages/points there were in all, and what the others were.
Sick in tired, that must've been some weak coffee. The typical cup of coffee has more caffeine than a 12 oz. can of Coke.
You know you are in American when you need a cola for waking up in the morning. What ever happened to good old traditional coffee. No wonder they need to eliminate junk food from school vending machines.