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June 08, 2009 |
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No Love
FOUND by Mike Smith
in Denville, NJ
Found this in the parking lot.
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Jazz Hands, Dad!... July 14, 2005 |
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Full o'Shit Tubby December 28, 2006 |
Young Entrepreneur December 07, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Love the 2 hearts on the exclamation points of NO!! Like, don't take it personally, but forget it!
Face it, Aaron, Rachael can't be your everything just yet if you've never even gone out together. And with a response like that...well, keep looking.
Rachael was just pissed you spelled her name wrong, bro. Don't give up! Chicks love it when you pursue.
Hot and cool...sounds like jalapeno ice cream.
...so that's a "no", then? Racheal? Rach....
Ouch. I don't think that's the "kind and cool" response Aaron was expecting.
But .. but ... she put hearts under the exclamation points. So she probably really DOES like me. Maybe if I send her another note? Or hang around at her locker? I mean, she wouldn't have put those big hearts - TWO of them, which must mean her and me - there if she wanted me to go away. Would she? Huh?
dude, that's pretty harsh. Maybe we can talk, then, after court on June 26th? I've quit smoking pot you know, all the way until after probation.....
I'm with Librarian on this: Racheal is sending mixed signals. Aaron wasn't discouraged in the least....
Mona beat me to the punchline today.
Oh... and I don't think it was Rachael that put the hearts on. It was obsessed Aaron after the fact.
Those aren't hearts, they're arrowheads. Look how pointed and jagged they are.
Rachael will grow up to be one of those irritating women who dots their I's with little hearts. Or even worse, smiley faces.
I'm with Librarian it's like saying, "NO, um not right now anyway."
But besides the mixed signals, could she have been a little nicer to the guy instead of ripping out his heart with a dull spoon, stabbing it while it is still beating, and then hitting it with a baseball bat into the Grand Canyon? I mean, come on, there is a whole stack of "I'm just not that into you lines" she could of used.
I like the many folds in the paper, you can tell Aaron folded it just so, so as to not let anyone see.. But Racheal, That Bitch showed Everyone.. and it was everyone's idea to put those hearts after NO, just to screw w/ his head.. Poor Aaron, probably killed Racheal and her new boyfriend that night.. But he atleast knew to put little hearts in the attempt at writing her 'suicide' note.. He'll never be the same!!
Whew that took a lot out of me!!
Make her a cake...I heard that girls like that.
If that doesn't work - just switch over to peeping in her windows at night, and then maybe also build a little shrine to her in the bottom of your clothes closet where you can keep your souveniers and pictures ...when you eventually completely lose your grasp on reality - and kidnap her - be sure to bring her to your closet, and show her all the hard work, attention to effort and detail you put into this for her. I'm sure she will think it's all very sweet and romantical.... otherwise just go for the Zevon method and build a cage with her bones.
I just can't help but read the title of the Find, the Find's Finder and description in a flat, monotone voice. And that bothers me.
I had beers with Davy and Peter last week. Good times.
Rachael was getting really freaked out about Aaron, her dyslexic stalker. She had tried everything to gently turn him down, but he didn't understand. When she said, "I'm not ready for that kind of relationship with you," he assumed that she would be ready later. He kept asking, "Are you ready now? Now?" So she just wrote, "NO!!" when he sent her yet another note. Unfortunately her friends thought it would be funny to put hearts under the exclamation marks so he would think he was playing hard-to-get.
*she
Perhaps if Aaron had edited his note Rachael would have been convinced.
@ Muse ... excelent start, but ...
Even more unfortunately, Aaron looked closely at the response and decided that it didn't actually say "NO!!". What it said, he was sure, was "IV6!!". Poor Aaron spent the rest of the school year fruitlessly trying to decode what he thought was a secret message.
(That, and working on getting a little more macho into his girly handwriting.)
Aaron,
You still have a chance. She used hearts as dots. Be careful though...she is either playing hard to get or is a tease.
I don't think Aaron wrote this. I think one of Racheal's (sic) friends wrote it and passed it to her in class to tease her about the fact that Aaron likes her and none of them deem him worthy. The hearts under the NO mean "but I'm a nice person even though I'd never choose to be seen with Aaron".
Turbo, I'm glad their van didn't break down! (wasn't it you that got stiffed last year when they skipped your town?) Did Davy sip a mysterious, amber-colored liquid from a water bottle? Those boys are a RIOT!
Whatdreadeye- You said exactly what I was thinking. The handwriting is too girly to be a boys and a guy would never write "you're my everything" to someone when he didn't even have enough courage to ask her out in person.
Rachael must be one of those girls who says nasty things in a sweet voice with a smile on her face, like my sister in law.