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July 07, 2009 |
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Guy I Want
FOUND by Sebastien Boncy
in Houston, TX
I was working gown pickup at graduation at the University of Houston and I found this note on the back of a gown receipt on a bench after the ceremony. Looks like she was ready to start her life out right with drugs and cuddles.
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Genesis January 02, 2005 |
Baby on a Blanket October 04, 2007 |
Went to Cabin September 16, 2007 |
Not Quite a Hallmark May 14, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Definitely the ideal man described here. Except white/hispanic. Delete that from the list, because if he has all those other qualities, what does it matter whether he's white, hispanic or any other genetic heritage?
WOW! pretty picky right now I would settle for a pulse and a steady job..even the car would be a bonus!
This was Obama's criteria list for V.P.
"Oooly/good sense of humour"? You what now? Even if it's "gooly" it doesn't make much sense.
"Does drugs" and "articulate" don't actually go together...at least not after a year or two.
Oh, and btw, what the heck is "talhature?" She already said she wanted someone her height "or higher" (the drug use should help there.)
Baby Basil,
I always enjoy your comments. I think talhature is talkative. But I have NO idea what Oooly is. I thought it was Godly, for a second, but that doesn't really go with moderate drug use either!
Got it! Oooly is actually "Goofy". Whew! Now I can pay attention to the rest of my day...
FINALLY! Someone who doesn't care about good looks.
(either that, or someone who is too bleary-eyed after a string of late-night parties, with much-o sex and smoking and drinking and drug-taking - with or without the dogs - to care or notice whether the guy is good looking or not)
I hope this girl is prepared to pay all the bills, because Mr. Perfect has no obvious source of income.
At first I thought it said "shoe covers" which would only make sense in a biohazard occupation.
at first i thought it said 'tall stature', which, basil, you're right, it's already been stated. I do think its talkative as well.
I should have totally made a list like this when i was dating. Too late now. It is handy to have someone who can roll.
Has good personal hygiene and brushes teeth
Won't turn me into a stripper
Won't turn me in a a crackhead or meth freak
Won't grow a mullet go shirtless and use
me as a punching bag landing us on cops
Won't <<insert socially unacceptable action>>
like <<insert celebritie's name>> did to
<<insert other celebrity's name>>.
and the old standby ---> Not Gay!
Miss Scarlet, I'm betting he's going to be a drive in theater owner!
@ kermit- my morning coffee hit the keyboard at that one!
Normally I would write this girl off as a thoughtless idiot, but the 'shares covers' one got me. I know just where she's coming from. I hope she finds her tall, racially correct, articulate, dog-loving, and cover-sharing cuddly drug user.
@mona - rolling these days does not involve a paper, that's what they call it when you're on ecstasy.
oh... i'm so naive. just when i thought i was hip and had it all going on.
"Goofy" does make more sense, esp. in conjunction with the drug use and parties and drinking. But goofy and articulate still don't go together.
I'm still snickering because in 70's UK English, "the goolies" are "the family jewels." Yeah, I guess it's good to insure your guy of choice has those...that plus mucho sexo should keep *her* sense of humour intact...
Do we know for sure this was written by a female?
Some guys are really looking for other guys who are oooly.
Nice and articulate is confusing.
The guy she wants is out there. Unfortunately his list for the ideal chick includes "legible handwriting." No match.
KERMIT!
You made me fall off my chair laughing!!!!
The perfect man!!!!!!
I'm in love
I think Chuck would be ideal for her, car, job, tall, does'nt need covers,etc.
Baby, you've found your man, right here in cubicle #2, second floor, business office, brown auxiliary building behind the hospital. As long as she's not well over 6 ft and is willing to change "light to moderate drinker" to "moderate to heavy drinker" and "talkative to "talkative when light to moderately drunk," then I think we're in business.
Odd how she didn't make "single" or "not currently in a relationship" one of her priorities.
There was also no mention of not suffering from night terrors or sleep crimes. I assume those won't be deal breakers.
Why did she have to make a list? This describes 99.9% of men I know.
Yeah, that was sexist. I'm a rebel that way.
"Do you smoke?"
"Only if I am on fire."
Damnit. That sounds like my boyfriend, and I don't want the majority of those things. FML.
It's nice to see that losers like me can still pull a bird or two, but even I'm disappointed that the presumably recent college graduate actually sat down and made a list of loser characteristics that she sought in her man-child boyfriends. I don't need a list to remember big boobs, violence-prone, cocaine habit, dumb tattoos, lack of father figure, inexplicably-more-intelligent-than-you-might-guess- etc.
Regarding the ethnic preference/ "racism" thing, here's my logical argument: if we want to date what the rest of us consider sexually attractive people, then we exclude others who we or society deem less sexually attractive. Which is unfair, as they cannot help it. For example, it really doesn't matter to most heterosexual males how tall a woman is, but for many women (read: shallow, dimwitted, does whatever society tells her) a man's height is of paramount importance (read: irresistible bad pun). My point: it's not fair, but we like what we like, whatever it may be. For example, I love a good set o' knockers to play with, but I would never hold a lack of bustiness against an otherwise ideal woman. If this white woman* expressed a desire to date a black man or exclusively black men, would she then be called a racist? Because she should. So even though it is clearly not fair and the definition of the word discriminatory, most of us have preferences. This "white or Hispanic," could genuinely be a cultural preference, not a preferred combination of superficial physical features (like most of my list).
*please don't bother trying to claim that this note's author could be anything but a dumb white broad. The handwriting? Dumb white broad. The lifestyle the writer aspires to? Dumb white broad. Ecstasy abuse as a romantic prerequisite? Dumb. White. Broad.
This list is dumb. Typically, I think making a list of traits you seek in a partner are dumb. But as time goes on...there are often times that I think I would have been better off if I had had one.
not that one though.
Long-term, a lot of these combinations would come back to bite you in the ass.
wow. what a difficult list of traits. they will make a great couple
I should give her my ex-boyfriends phone number... he fits the bill PERFECTLY!!! oh wait... i re-read that, he has NO sex drive and isn't nice and is a heavy drinker... that's right... that's why i left him, how could i forget!
Where is this girl? She's describing me. To those of you who are saying that "articulate" and "drugs" don't go together- you're incredibly naive. I fit the entire description- a pre-med student at a prestigious university. As long as the list doesn't say, "Loves crack", it all makes sense.