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July 21, 2009 |
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Mean Little Bugger
FOUND by Mel
in Auckland, New Zealand
So a friend was moving out of her flat, taking her books from the built in bookshelf with her. Her gay German flatmate was distressed. He didn't have any books of his own, and the bookshelf would look sad sans books.
So he did what any self-respecting semi-literate would do. He bought up several bulk boxes of random books on Trade Me (think eBay, my North American friends).
One of the books that arrived was this. I wonder sometimes (amongst many other questions raised by this passive aggressive inscription), whether it actually made it onto the plane.
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Super Gay October 12, 2006 |
U R Such a ... December 20, 2007 |
Leave Me Be August 24, 2003 |
We Will Meet Again... March 14, 2004 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I can never take anyone who writes silly little bubble script like this seriously. Seriously.
Amelie the movie is a fairy tale that ends with the perfect romance...well, anyway, they end up in bed together. Close enough...I guess.
THIS, however, is the post-breakup note, when Nino leaves Paris for NZ to get away from her. She got him at his sexual peak, which is what she wanted. Now she's moved on to pastures new...or at least that's what she wants him to think.
...and you've definitely peaked, you mean little bugger
It's killing me. What's the name of the book?
The book is titled "Fond Memories: The Sexual Peak of Amelie's Friend.
I love this find! Such mystery...
Dear Tony,
Go back to Amelie and beg her to take you back. The new Crazy Christmas gift girl is too much.
Signed,
Concerned Citizen.
seriously!....what's the damn book???
Very frustrating Find. Not only do I want to know the name of the book, I want to know if Mel the Finder is himself the gay German flatmate, and if not, how Mel came into possession of the book.
In any case, I'm glad the anonymous original recipient of the book dumped Amelie. She sounds like a bona fide nut case.
Amelie worked in the cultural affairs office of the French consulate in South Carolina. She took seriously the "affairs" part of her job title. Back in the years before Mark had that office affair with Antonietta ("Tony" to her friends), Mark and Amelie were quite an item. Then, after that one time in Chamonix, things soured like cheap wine without any sulfites.
The book made it on the plane ... but it was the last time Mark "made it" on the plane with anything.
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But, seriously, I've heard of interior decorators saying things like "we need 8 feet of books in this room with dark blue spines go buy me some books!" Doesn't matter what the books are about, just so long as they were bound in the proper color cloth.
Makes my blood boil! (not really, but come on! "eight feet of books"?? Is that any way to organize your intellectual life? Oh, wait a minute, that would suppose....)
Librarian, it's no worse than where I live. People here will buy matching-bound series of The Great Classics (sold under that title at newsstands everywhere) and put them on their shelves. When you do the math, that "2 great novels a week" adds up to a cool grand or so. And they never crack a cover on one of them. Ever.
Same goes for the Book of the Month Club (here, called the Readers' Circle.) People get sucked in by the "12 great books for a dollar" ads, and then have to buy however many over the next 2 years. They usually get addicted to buying them...but never actually read them. They put them on the shelf and buy more.
Madness.
Great story, Mel! I am curious about the book, too.
Don dumped Amelie the day before he flew to New Zealand. She had never intended to marry him or anything, and she had had him in the prime of his sex life. Still, she couldn't help thinking he was a mean little bugger for leaving her. She bought him a book to read on the plane as a breakup present, and wrote this inscription. The book was "Sex Life of the Foot and Shoe" by William Rossi, written in 1977.
No Amelie you didn't bring me to my sexual peak..I was just holding back before..so long!
ugh. Weird, don't you think? I would never call someone a 'mean little bugger' after having a sexual relationship...maybe a dick-heard or a prick or an SOB.
mean little bugger sounds she is addressing a child.
Love,
Mrs. Amelie Robinson
Cougar Club President
Mean little bugger... must be British or Australian.
Dear Bugger,
You were great in bed. I hope you thought I gave good xx. Other than the fabulous sex, you were a raging a-hole, but look, I got you a present anyway, dick.
Best find ever.
(think eBay, my North American friends).
On facebook I would like this. One can just picture that thumbs up.
She was 38, he was eighteen. It was bound to come to an end. The thought of having to change her adult diapers when he turned fifty was just too much to bear. She slipped this note in his comic book (er, "Graphic Novel"), before he boarded the plane. Cougars ultimately live lonely lives.
LMAO @ Terrie.. oh that's funny!!
Also, I agree that 'mean lil bugger' sounds juvenile. Or I'll call my dog a lil bugger if he does something out of the ordinary, like Shit on the kitchen floor b/c he didn't want to wake us up at 4:00AM. But hey, atleast the lil bugger didn't crap on the bed or in my shoes.
I support the theory this book didn´t make it on the plane. NZ, lot´s of backpackers, Amélie, the French girl, fated love affair with an anglo (why would she write in English if someone took the book from France???(doesn´t become apparent in some of the stories on here, but I know how you English-speakers are not very quick to notice that))
anyways, words I could have written my backpacking-ex-boyfriend. Including the part "the years". Is mine the most realistic story yet??
well, i don´t know...
Is "mean little bugger' something they also say locally NZ - where we say "little person" instead of dwarf in the US.?
wait, how is this passive agressive? I mean weird and nasty even but unless i've missed la point