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September 21, 2009 |
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Attn: The Boss of The House
FOUND by Jaime
in West Bend, WI
I found this beside a dumpster outside an apartment complex. It had an envelope that I lost. I have had this for almost 2 years and every time I rediscover it in a drawer or box it makes me laugh and laugh. I thought it was time to share it with the world because it is a true beauty.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
This is disturbing.
She done got you a egg already, DUMB -ASS. Don't get mad if she keeps asking why you drink soda instead of water. Do you drink that during one day? You better stick with it SWEET-HEART, you did it.
gg man, I am the egg man, I am the walru
"I seen you alittle while sooner...What's that about?"
Same question I asked. Makes no sense...by you or by me.
If someone keeps asking questions and realizes it's pissing you off...wouldn't/shouldn't they stop, instead of warning you they were going to do it in the first place?
I really dislike this. Good for Dad.
Plus, I will alway's use extra apostrophe's in the wrong place's, at least until your driven up the wall by it!!! Because of your Dad not letting me stay passed 11:15 I will have to drink 150oz. of soda's by myself.
Is Jerome referring to himself in the 3rd person? Is he the baby daddy?
Maybe it's my "southern" manners but I was brought up you don't even THINK of calling or coming over past 9pm unless emergency, even then it better be REALLY good.
yes he is talking about himself in third person, his name is jerome. i sent this in :) they blanked out his name a few times.
'Round these here parts, we don't cotton to folks comin' 'round past 11:15 or so.
Talk OR watch T.V? ...it's Okay Jerome, I don't like T.V talkers either.
@ Phoebe Muse ... Jerome thinks he's REALLY good.
Does this really make Jaime laugh and laugh? It makes me squint and say, what?
oy, as in oy vey.
(cringing and turning eyes away from computer screen)
WTF?
pasnon... cool find. it kind of makes my head hurt to read it tho.
Ah.... there's a reason it was found in a dumpster...
Jaime - I love this Found.
Jerome - I think somebody already *got* the Easter "egg" you mentioned.
it was Found BESIDE a dumpster, HPD. Pay attention.
signed, Mainly Jerome.
does that mean that it was also someone else? A team of letter-writing experts, carefully hand selected by Jerome (himself!) from a pool of thousands of likely candidates?
..you are going to be that baby's first sight..
I think that's my favorite line in the whole thing, even if it's not necessarily true.
For some obscure reason, it immediately made me think of this quote:
"Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? Morphine is bad for you. Your daughter is out there on the streets waiting for you."
highplains - why didn'tcha sing eggman by the beastie boys????
its my favert!!
I felt like a 1st grader, struggling to first read and then comprehend this letter. I see it was typed, I hope it was on a newer Word program; can you imagine all the green and red squigglies? :)
Right now I might have another soda.
Does this seem like a random sentence at that point? Like.. I've been writing for awhile, laboriously slaving over this letter and suddenly I'M THIRSTY! and by the way, YOU need to drink lots of water for the BABY!
And what the heck does "I seen you alittle while sooner" mean? "It would have been nice to sit and talk with you. By you or by me." Does that mean, "I could sit by you or you could sit by me?" So which will it be? Hmm.. it's very nice of him to offer her so many choices.
Maybe they should have put a bit more effort into their choice to have a baby.
This Jerome character seems rather unstable.