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November 18, 2009 |
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Dear Bar Staff
FOUND by Allison F-C
in New York
I found two signed copies of this note balled up on the New York-bound platform of the train station.
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The Realignment January 05, 2006 |
My Sunday Best July 26, 2005 |
One Down November 19, 2007 |
Yours in Horror August 12, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Ummmm... ewwww!
Glad I don't drink anymore. Could it be that the bar itself was in the NYC subway (or the point of origin for the sender)?
If the bar was filthy enough to need to call in an exterminator for the fruit flies (!!)I'm sure the filth was visible and perceptible to touch. Where has the boss been all this time? Why hasn't he/she stayed on top of the situation and made the cleaning happen before this? Sounds like the employees learned to pass the buck and skyve off from the boss. I know US bars keep the lights down low when they're open but they do have normal lights. Of course now we know what those shadows are hiding...
ut still, Rolling Roc
It's that frigging bow-legged, American-Outfitters apparreled bartender Chad's fault! Always in a hurry to be out and drink a cold beer, and go off in his Red '64 Mustang, for a boating vacation in Boston. Never paying attention to cleaning stuff to ward off fruit flies, or his Scottish wife and 4 kids...
I find this to be yet another example of discrimination. Fruit flies have the right to drink with other patrons. They have the disadvantage of not being able to communicate with humans and must settle for whatever they can find. Maybe the customers at this bar liked the low life atmosphere.
It's okay, boss; calm down. The alcohol sanitizes everything. Including the fruit flies.
Besides which, in case you didn't know, since Stonewall it's no longer fine to refer to the patrons as "fruit."
Times flies like the wind. Fruit flies like bananas.
Ha! Good thing there were no roaches or large spiders there. Then the boss would really be pissed off.
Rossignol (that’s you night)! …the Groucho Marx version: Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Curse you Librarian. You beat me to that argument.
Now I have nothing except another stupid limeric...
It would seem that our bar is appalling
With fruit flies and cockroaches brawling
It's not so demeaning
To get on with cleaning
So our patrons will find it enthralling
No fruit in my drinks for now on. Dept of Health should be on their asses!
Bartender!!! What's this fly doing in my drink?
Looks like the backstroke to me, Sir.
I'm proud of this whip cracker for successfully spelling susceptible.
Interesting facts about female fruit flies:
Approximately 48 hours after emerging from the puparium, it is possible for females to start laying eggs. However, there are only 12 hours that a female can be considered virgin after emerging as an adult. After reaching this maturity, the flies are fertile for life. A female fruit fly can store sperm after a single insemination and use it for many reproductions; therefore it is important to use virgin females for genetic crosses.
Sammy Davis, I doff my recycled felt fedora to you! Here was me believing that fruit flies only lived for 48 hrs start to finish. Don't know where I picked that up but I think it was science class of long ago. I discover I was mistaught a lot of rubbish in the village school...but then our teachers refused to believe the moonlanding ever actually took place, so...
this does not look real, the typing doesn't bend with the crinkles of the paper