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March 25, 2008 |
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Nature or Nuture?
FOUND by Amber
in Bend, Oregon
Finally, I found something for FOUND! My boyfriend thought I was crazy picking up trash in the parking lot, but I knew it was a treasure! Apparently this person hates bad parkers, enough to insult family genetics. Ha!
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Happy? September 22, 2006 |
Party of Five July 22, 2005 |
Give What You Want April 06, 2003 |
No Eyes September 08, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Works for me! I've left one or two of these in my time.
I think the fact that it has to be flipped over makes it lose some of the sting.
And for some reason, I saw the jumble of letters and read "ice cream."
I'm sure the line-straddling parker got the message, but composing in rage never produces good prose. To wit, parking is more of a skill of a competency (in which one might find himself INcompetent) than a knowledge (of which one might be ignorant).
And was the "when you hear the car horn honk, turn the page" moment of suspense really necessary? Or might they have -- even in their parking lot fury -- planned more carefully to fit their rant on a single side? It seems reasonable.
So I retort: Learn to write! Or is incongruity
->
In your genetics?
I thought it said "Learn How to Pack!" I've said those words before...vacationing shouldn't be so stressful.
Happy Birthday, Freon!!
agreed about the flipover making it lose some sting...I wonder what he infraction he committed to warrant a stab at his genetics and being branded 'ignorant'?
In antiquated clinical terms, a moron would have the capabilities of a 7- to 12-year-old so you could consider the inability to park a car as poor motor skills.
HA! Sounds like something my ex would have written.
Who writes their "o"s like that? You're supposed to start at the top, swirl around to the left and end back at the top. This guy (it has to be a guy) starts at the bottom right and swirls backwards. Looks like a half-assed "9".
Hey Chillin, I write "o"s like that (well I at least make the ends meet so they don't look like "9"s). Must be in my genetics. Or perhaps in my GENES! I saw "ice cream" too. Mmmmmmmmm. Ice Cream.
Write much? Ever consider the benefits of getting your message on one side of a paper?
How likely do you think your reader will be to turn the page afer you've called him/her a moron?
Or is the development of these skills beyond your genetic limitatations?
Listen up, Mr Black: quit calling the kettle names.
thank you, jan, for that occupational therapist p.o.v. It certainly helps.
the o's look like a's.
yah moron.
My friend does his 0's like that. He holds his hand all crookedy like left handed people sometimes do , but he's right handed.
I wish I had ice cream in my genetics. Although I don't really see what that has to do with my bad parking skills.
I wonder if this was ever even left for the bad parker. I've written plenty notes like this in anger than just thrown them in the recycle bin or lost them.If I'm really cranky I'd actually write it out like this first realize I screwed up pitch this one and rewrite it cleaner and usually edited. Is it strange to edit and rewrite angry notes ?
sidenote
I actually had to just write an o now to see how I create the letter. Each time it be from bottom going clockwise connecting again at the bottom. So i start wrong for my gender but go in the right way or is it a gender blender to do a little of both or still girly ? Wow my mommy brain is all loopy now me thinks me bed is a calling.
'Find of the Day' just came up with March 04, 2006. Wass goin' on?
Had enough aggressive parking notes now, thank you.
zzzz.
I think this writer is possibly left-handed but going clockwise. Or is it in his genes (sic) ?
Actually ignorance is in all our genes since we're all born knowing nothing till we learn things.
At first...I thought this was written on pretty stationary. "Who would have the time to write a crappy message on stationary?"
Oh well...I'm not feeling so hot right now...my brain is a little fuzzy.
I thought it said "pack" too, until i read Clever's comment.
Don't pick on people with bad handwriting to much some of the nicest people have horrible handwriting. Then again,
I have bad handwriting and I'm not always very nice. Maybe it's in my genes?
The writer of this note should just go to a website called : youparklikeanasshole.com
I love parking notes, and this is a good one, but there seems to be a lot of the them posted on Found.
One time I went to Bob Evans with my room mate and it was really crowded and some one had used up two spaces. She wrote an angry note and when she went to put it on the windshield there were already two other angry notes on there!
I finally saw "ice cream" there at the bottom but I had to look really hard.
this reminds me of internet forum fights when one person questions another's intelligence, but in so doing, makes elementary grammatical errors which nullify their position of superiority.
the note writer should have written "You park like a moron," and left it at that. of course, then we wouldn't have as fun a found for today.
waaaa. Farmer took my comment. Great minds think alike. Oh, and some Lefties write their O's like that.
@coco- I wish I had ice cream in my genes, too, but then again, I'd probably need bigger jeans...
I find it kinda coincidental that this is today's find only because yesterday I stopped by the grocery store and came upon this car that was parked maybe 1/3 of the way in the spot. The rest of the car was blocking one of the entrances. I was so tempted to take a picture and have it posted on youparklikeanasshole.com. I thought that if it was still parked like that when I got out of the store I would definitely take a pic. Unfortunately, it was not. =(
Reminds me of an angry note which was hanging in the bathroom at work for a long time. It was actually on a series of post-it notes, taped together as more space was needed to accommodate the urgent scrawling: "Plze Pee In Bowel Ladies! We R Not Animals! This Iz gross! We R Not Cavemen!"
We R Not Cavemen, but apparently our spelling hasn’t evolved much…
@hmm in humm - How exactly does one "pee in bowel"? sounds uncomfortable...
@Night in gale, thank you very much! I'm planning on having an awesome day and have a great time doing it. 8D
I was too afraid to try Rebel: I was too afraid to try. If only I had a more adventurous spirit (and unusual internal plumbing)...
Same here, I thought it said icecream.
Mint Chocolate Chip sounds good right now.
mmmmmmm.
I'm not sure who's more of a moron though.
I'd imagine maybe he parked sideways, in that case it would mean that he just didn't give a shit.
5 Reasons the guy who wrote this is a moron:
1.) Ignoram
ce?
2.)9r?
3.) You totally forgot to write "over" next to your ---->
4.)I suspect you were done after "Learn How to Park" and then you had a "genius" moment and squished in the rest.
5.)Genetics?
Winston, that's no coincidence. Found is stalking you and posting Finds of the Day based on the minutiae of your life.
I knew it!
What is this written on? A loofah?
Happy Birthday, Freonz freak in g hallucinations!
What in the heck was this written on? It looks like a textured wallpaper sample!
I would have written it in the dirt on the car. They always have enough of a thin layer for writting on.
they should check out youparklikeanasshole dot com
This was written by a handicapped person who's right to special parking was denied by an unentitled moron.
(Anyone else experiencing deja vu today?)
I saw ice cream too (towards the bottom of the first page). it looks like it was written on those wheat type crackers or bricks.
someone needs to learn how to park and the other one needs to learn how to write.
Kind of looks like it was written on the little cardboard cover that protects the stickers from those fifty cent machines. (I wonder: was this Found in the Fred Meyer parking lot?)
I'm guessing this parking police person's 14 YO kid got the "HOMIE DIZZLE" sticker, stuck it on her notebook, and discarded the cover on the passenger side floorboard. Scrambling for a piece of paper on which to pen this scathing commentary in black Sharpie, all Mom could find was this garbage.
If the erring parker got the note, it was obviously thrown onto the ground, where it was trampled by foot traffic and tires.
I LOVE Amber's joy at Finally Finding something for Found! Rock On, Amber, and Keep scanning the pavement for treasures!
Looks like it was written on one of those little cardboard inserts from the bottom of a candy package: I wonder if the recipient even looked at it. If they’re anything like me they probably just assumed it was trash caught under their windshield wiper and chucked it, only to think later “hmm… I wonder if that was something I was supposed to read…” I once had a cast who for some odd reason decided to communicate with me via car notes rather than the telephone. I ended up gifting them all little brightly-colored tablets with the words “STOP! READ THIS!” at the top, so I could tell at a glance that it had a.) Been placed there deliberately and b.) Wasn’t a religious tract left by one of the school’s many roving street preachers. (The “We had to take Mike to the hospital” note on a Wendy’s wrapper will always be my personal favorite.)
/\
That is the most amazing thing I have heard all day.
(on a jr. bacon cheeseburger wrapper)
"Yo, we had to take Mike to the hospital, he might not live. P.S. we had Wendy's for lunch, could you throw this away for me?"
I saw ice cream in ignorance too!!
I thought I was the only one who saw things like that.
I'm waiting to read Lars' party game take on this one....
8-)
We have a girl downstairs that we call Strippie (stripper hippy) and one day she parked where no one could get around the back parking lot. I saw that someone had left a note so I didn't bother. A few days later I found out the author of the note was none other than my roommate, who interestingly enough, has no car or driver's license. When you can manage to irritate a pedestrian...
that phrase has a really melodic ring to it, So Weird. I like it. I like it a lot.
@ Turbo ... need to hear more about why the girl downstairs is called "Strippie (stripper hippie)"! Is she an ex-hippie who is now a stripper? Is she a stripper who lives like a hippie? Is her stripper act based on a hippie persona? Does she know you call her this? How do you know about her life away from the apartment?
It seems like there isn't much more to be said on this moronic find. Do we need something else to get us to our next fix?
How about this: what's the most unkind, cruel, and vitriolic thing you've put into print?
Skip the backstory, justification, and reasoning; just drop the one-liner. Let's expose our nastiness (in a different way than was exposed yesterday...bleh).
Here's mine:
"When I'm with you, I feel damned."
in a letter to a girlfriend, later an ex-
I want to explain or excuse myself, but I'm going to follow my own rules. There it is in all of its starkness, as if you had found the note in the gutter (which is where I am sure it ended up).
Next?
Here's mine. It's pretty cruel.
It's more than a one liner though.
"and as far as your ego, you're not half the man you think you are. Oh and TRUST ME when it comes to other things, you ARE half the man you think you are."
It's not like I really wanted to know you for the rest of my life.
"Remember when you said I wouldn't notice if you died? It's not that I wouldn't notice: It's that I wouldn't care."
"Yes, I would go to your funeral but only to make sure you were dead."
@nosy - She is a stripper with a hippie lifestyle. She seems to only date Middle Eastern and/or Indian men (6 and counting)who cook really tasty smelling food for her. She has a lot of wicker furniture and scarves wrapped around things like Steven Tyler does. She smells like patuli. I think she has a different job now because when I leave for work in the morning, she is watching the news.
"Your only motivation to ever do anything in life to to try to make your brother notice you; he only notices you to make fun of you."
We are very mean people. But I'm glad I'm not the only one.
"The only thing I felt in response to his death was relief."
And the sad part is, it's true. Still.
wow. its turning into postsecret on here.
How about the find from March 27, 2006? www.foundmagazine.com/comments/405
As for todays find... I think it's written on a matza cracker.
If not that then a really big tab of blotter acid.
Hey! Maybe I could combine the two?
i'm just going back to the game.
you are a moron.
learn how to stand up for yourself.
or is the missing backbone in your genetics?
@ night: sorry about yesterday. i was out celebrating my birthday.
@ not so clever: i liked your idea, too.
Hmm in Humm - After much consideration... I think that if one could actually "pee in bowel" this note would be rendered completely useless as there would never be a mess to be left in the Ladies Room. Hmmm...
@Lars: Happy belated birthday! Hope you had fun!
I like your game better, and I'm sticking with my original thought on this one.
You are a moron.
Learn how to pack!
Or is schlepping excess baggage --> in your genetics?
@Puckhog: Kosher LSD?
Jonathan: Your nun joke is funny. But so naughty. Ten hail Mary's for you.
Birthday greetings to Lars and Freonz
Ooo, fun times.
You are a moron
Learn how to be yourself
or is incessantly trying to impress others with your unnecessarily desperate attempts at being cool in your genetics?
p.s. I liked you the way you were before.
You can ignore that if you want. Just sort of came out of nowhere, but it felt good to get it off of my chest.
Shouldn't make fun of people missing the parking gene. It affects 1 in every 1 persons.
There are so many out there missing certin genes.
the Parking gene
the returning cart gene
the sprinkle when you tinkle/be a sweetie and wiping the seatie gene
the covering mouth when sneezing gene
the having the respect to take your cell phone off speaker so we all don't have to hear both sides of your stupid conversation in stereo gene........
be aware of the problem.... }:-/
Oh, if she'd only used that last word right.
Since we're sharing our nastiest lines from letters past, here's an excerpt that I consider to be some of my best work:
"You are an organism lower than gutter slime. Dog shit looks down on you."
A quote from the original Flintstones cartoon that I like and use, perhaps more than I should, but only in a joking manner:
"You, sir, are a wiggly worm, sir. And a wiggly worm, sir, is the lowest piece of whale blubber in the ocean depths."
Of course whales are not worms, we know that. Its the way it trips off the tongue. It must be said with all due solemnity.
Oh God. I'm in a chat room with a bunch of old farts.
Here's my most vicious line ever:
"why don't you do your kids the same favor that my dad did for his: Kill yourself NOW, while they're young."
I still don't regret delivering it, either.
ahh my boyfriend thinks i'm crazy when i look for founds too.
I would like to see someone try and drive WITH their asshole. I wonder if they can drive stick shift.....?
"im in ur genetics, makin u dum." lolcatspeak?