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October 14, 2009 |
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Business Card?
FOUND by David
in Chicago, Illinois
One day about a month ago I was getting some cash out of an ATM here in the south Loop, and I noticed what looked like one of those "Community Chest" cards from a Monopoly game. I picked it up and turned it over, and was surprised to find that it is in fact the best business card in the known universe.
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Shut Up October 15, 2006 |
Horse Shadow Well October 14, 2005 |
Scar February 19, 2007 |
Canned Clams + Meth January 10, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
What? No phone number? What if I am in need of their professional business services? I may need hell raised in my home for a truly rememberable party for my children.
@ Dog breath ... all you need for that rememberable party is poorly packaged soup and curry.
and we'll guess that "Hell Raisers M.C." means 'Hell Raisers Motorcycle Club', but it could stand for
...master of ceremonies
mega church
Monopoly club
metropolitan charity...
was "motorcycle" just too hard to spell out?
I like mega church, Librarian. Makes me laugh, especially since I just read a story in the LA Tines about mega churches. HAHAHA!
Mega Church! I continue the theme. Raise hell? To where? To us here on the surface of this planet? Or even higher – to heaven? Raise hell and lower heaven? I smell Jehovah’s witnesses around with that card. Where would they go if hell is raised and heaven lowered? Remain in Chicago? Is that what is meant by a level playing field? It’s the end of the world as we know it….
Well, whatever their definition of raising hell, they are One Step Ahead of the Rest.
Where do I sign up?
Okay. So I googled Hellraisers motorcycle club, and here's just a snippet of one of the top few links:
.."THE SOUL REBELS MOTORCYCLE CLUB OF CHICAGO PRESENTS “CANDLELITE BOWLING ... Dirty Dozens M.C., Renegade Riders M.C., Hell Raisers M.C., Hawks M.C., ..."
Candlelite Bowling? Re-he-he-heally?
(links to
www.soulrebelsmotorcycleclub.blogspot.com/)
Could also be "Hell Raisers Mother Care" 'cause I've known some toddlers who were more, um, active than the norm, and could have fit this description.
"Um, hello, yes, I need my hell raised? Do you give free quotes for that? Do I need to be home or can you leave me an estimate?
I am pleased that this business card contains NO TYPOS or incorrect use of grammar or punctuation.
.. but that's GOT to be one of the ooogliest skulls I've ever seen. What's with the mouth? rather than looking like teeth and bone, it looks like a sunken, toothless tweeker hag's mouth. Eeesh.
I like that the Finder thought it was a Monopoly card. I Found a Get out of Jail Free card one time when I was in highschool, and I still have it. (roughly a million years later.)
It would be a CHANCE card, though- not Community Chest. Comm. Chest cards are yellow.
Can't find a dang thing on the Internets about this ... think it was a single nerd member that made his own card...
Motorscooter Club
Masturbation Club
Mobile Clambake
Monster Crybabies
Mighty Crawfish
Milk Chocolately
Mocha Cappuccino
Mondo Calypso
Mighty Crappers
Mensa Credenza
Mello Cello
Mexican Correction
Militant Cripple
Manly Chiffon
Maximum Caffeination
Minimal Coitus
Mental Collation
Mongloid Collision
Mangled Contraption
Mongo Carmelization
Mousey Civilization
Muddy Cavitation
I just like the fact that they have business cards. I'm having fun imagining the dudes of this bad ass MC running around with engraved card holders in the inside pockets of their leather vests.
And at what provocation do they use these cards?
Bloody Bar-Fight Witness: "Who were those leather-ensconsed trouble makers? Ah, yes. I see. They left a business card."
Convenience Store Owner: "Those jerks rode off without paying for their gas! Again! Who are these people? Oh. A business card. I will find you out, Hell Raisers!... Hmm, nice Blackletter font."
High School Aged Barista: "Duuude, who ordered the double-skinny-extra-whip-sugar-free mocha? Hey! That'll be $8.00! Ewww, no. I don't want your business card. You're, like, old enough to be my dad."
High School Aged Barista #2: "OhmiGAWD, I think that WAS my dad."
Mischeif managed.
@ Turnip: Considering Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in hell, your theory has holes!
Also: the motorcycle skull guy (gal?) on the card is missing an earring.
This is a 'calling card.' They were often used by Chicago gangs up into the 1980s to identify themselves. Great find!
M.C. = member of Congress
I Found my inspiration for this year's jack-o-lantern!
The skull's nasal cavity looks like the perfect little black dress.
well, duh.... put the clues together, folks...
It's the HellRaisers Monopoly Card, from the limited edition Artistically Challenged Monopoly set, in which the card may read...."Where should I leave my motorcycle...? Proceed to Park Place, of course!"