November 06, 2009

School Is Worse Than I Thought
FOUND by Melanie K. in Woodinville, Washington
I found this while cleaning out some old folders in an art storage area at the end of the school year at the school where I work.
A. in the Midwest
Why in the sweet name of Africa...? is going to be my new favorite thing to say.
+ November 06, 2009 12:35 AM +
Schneh
"I will hate it but it's life."
Unexpected wisdom from the youngster.
+ November 06, 2009 12:38 AM +
Nate B in Far Northern Ca
Mr. J likes to listen in on conversations because he wants to know which little girls think he is cute.
+ November 06, 2009 04:19 AM +
baby basil in the herb garden
Why would a teacher listen to a private conversation? Because they're human, and curious, just like everyone else. The staffroom is a notorious hotbed of gossip, which is one reason I got out of the education system. "SHE said...did YOU hear...Well, now, you didn't get it from Me, but..." oh yes.

And some teachers seemed to want to take it upon themselves to run their students' lives. Maybe it was just the generation I dealt with but I hated it when a teacher criticised a student's life, parents etc. when they didn't have all the information and insisted on giving "advice" based on something they overheard in the hall or the bathroom, that wasn't even directed to them.
+ November 06, 2009 05:31 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

When Mr. J. was a kid himself, he 'cryed on the bus because he had no frends'. Even later in college, when he got into Phi Psi because he was a legacy, his only real friend there was good old Mrs. Wolfe (though, oddly enough in retrospect, even she wouldn't sit with him in the fraternity's living room until he held his Red Ryder BB gun to the side of her head).

Then, like OMG Soysauce!!, where should he get a job but back at his old elementary school? His first day he dressed in his best clothes, down to those wooden shoes dad brought back from Holland before the War thinking that they could help him win the one adult role in the school play. But OMG the ladies of the drama club were NOT impressed even though the shoes glowed in the dark and kept him bouncing all night.

There was nothing left for Mr. J. to do except haunt the school trying to catch bits of conversation floating by while he was on cafeteria duty AGAIN, and to imagine that he really did have friends.

At least he had learned to blame his moist eyes on allergies.
+ November 06, 2009 06:46 AM +
Feeling in coherent
Wow Librarian! What more can anyone say at this point?
+ November 06, 2009 06:58 AM +
fooch in an early morning tizzy
Ha! Librarian wins the prize for the week (and beat HPD to it!)
+ November 06, 2009 08:01 AM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
~I'm glad you people think a kid's poorly written notes are so hysterically funny.~

I'm sure there are plenty of us grammar school note writers out here who find such pathetic attempts at humor to be boorish, appalling, and in extremely bad taste.

Really, Librarian, you can be quite hysterical at times, xpecially when you do an enexcellent weekly recap, but you really should drop the multi-weekly recap humor from your routine.
+ November 06, 2009 08:24 AM +
pepper in your anus
Meow Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
+ November 06, 2009 09:03 AM +
kris in Avon, Mass
My neighbors 6 yr old son Nick went to 1st grade this year and on the first day came home and his father asked him how school went and he said "Eh, okay". When his dad said that he had his clothes all picked out for the next day, Nick was like "You mean I have to go BACK?"

+ November 06, 2009 11:02 AM +
Reginald Kenneth Dwight in stunna shades
flag on HPD for inappropriate use of enexelent.

How can the kid spell conversation, but not thought, worse or listen? That wording of the first note is far more complicated than I'd expect from a kid who loves playing tag at recess.

Starting chores or starting chorus?
+ November 06, 2009 11:56 AM +
professor in in her office
I'm just confused about why it is that this student likes Mr. J so much AND is worried about his eavesdropping habits. Does the student say really horrific things at recess that Mr. J isn't meant to hear, because then Mr. J will stop being so nice and will turn into a monster, revealing his true alien identity?
+ November 06, 2009 12:14 PM +
^_^
I kinda thought the two notes were from two different writers. Not sure why, though.
+ November 06, 2009 12:40 PM +
Clover in the art room
This is exactly the kind of find I was hoping to find in the art room I inherited. But no. Nothing.
+ November 07, 2009 01:13 AM +

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