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November 08, 2009 |
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The Divine Fax
FOUND by Skeeter
in my fax machine
I had to send a fax, and found this on the fax machine. I would like to imagine he faxed it into a prayer hotline and that it was read aloud on the air. I can't imagine why else you would fax a prayer, unless you had a direct line to heaven.
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Genesis January 02, 2005 |
Baby on a Blanket October 04, 2007 |
Went to Cabin September 16, 2007 |
Not Quite a Hallmark May 14, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?
I have known several couples who told me that "the Lord told them to get married." I am always wary of statements like that. Especially if one of the couple was unaware of the "leading" at the time. They often seemed to wear this like a badge of privilege.
Worse of course is when someone tells you "the Lord" is telling them to get divorced and marry someone else. Or that "it's OK" to cheat on their current spouse because "they're with the wrong person." Uh-huh.
Is that a Freudian slip, where he moves from the singular 'woman' to the plural 'women' in the sentence beginning "He knows"?
That was precisely my question, Erp.
So.. polygamy? God says it's okay.
SKEEEEETERRRRR! I'm wondering, do you work in radio or television? Could someone fax something to a prayer hotline and it would come to your fax machine?
I hope Brother Wayne (or maybe one of his offspring) post in the Hey! That's Me! section someday.
Dear Brother Wayne, if you find that your faxed prayers to the Big Guy Upstairs aren't effective, you might want to try THIS lonely hearts advertising campaign. It only costs a dollar per ad.
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/591
I've faxed kid letters to Santa before (and gotten replies!), but never prayers to any presumed deity.
also must be into anal, 3 ways, bdsm and christian-judeo-roman role playing
I just rewatched "Car Wash" from 1976. For some reason this find reminded me of Richard Pryor as Daddy Rich in the film.
"You got to believe in somethin', why not believe in me?"
Before Librarian beats me to the literary reference, this reminds me of a modern day St. John Rivers from "Jane Eyre." Wayne may discover, like St. John, that sometimes the ministry is meant to be pursued solo.
Oh please Lord send me someone who compliments my life and ministry. If this is a Southern man of faith we all know that subtext is big blond hair big pearly whites..and with some help from the medical healing big knockers.
im just wondering why this guy think his prayer for the perfect wife is more important than the prayers for children who just want food in their bellies. bleh im not a fan of born agains.
God told me that if y'all, each and every one of ya, don't send me five dollars apiece, He's a-gonna call me home to heaven....
(wait. isn't that the goal, anyway?)
I thomk he just sent a broadcast fax looking for prayers from anyone willing to pray for him. Maybe he thought that special woman might be on the receiving end, or someone who's just dying to buy him a house. Stranger things have happened.
Just a simple wish for simple happiness: Love, a family and a home. Why complicate it with extemporaneous qualifications like conversing, dating, moving mountains and being saved?
Just a simple wish for simple happiness: Love, a family and a home. Why complicate it with extemporaneous qualifications like conversing, dating, moving mountains and being saved?
Operator, information, get me Jesus on the line….
"Sorry, baby, I can't marry you because I worry that a dead ancient Hebrew might disapprove." In what way does that make sense (other than grammatically, wiseguy)? Looks like Jesus Boy needs to learn the hard way that no matter what you do, you still won't be able to sex up a dead messiah, nor would you want to for that matter.
Praise the Lord Pastor?
Would that be a person?
The pastor of the PTL club? Like Jim &Tammy Faye?
maby try a man
it won't be the most horrible thing. i belive that god will still love both of you.
That sentence beginning with "Please pray that Jesus Christ will move mountains" confuses me.
He's been praying for thirty years, waiting for a "miracle" to happen, but has apparenty put no effort into talking to anyone or generally figuring out how human relations occur in the real world. He wants a marriage, kids and nice house but has done nothing but chat with his invisible friend to get them. Instead of being born again, how about just growing up?
Brother Wayne.
Call me.
I just asked god to give me the power ball numbers, so I can win the mega millions of the South Carolina Education Lottery. I have the money, you have the despair. All we need is a dog.
Love,
Taylor
"I was so pleased to be informed of this that I ran twenty red lights in His honor.
Thank you, Jesus! Thank you, Lord!"