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August 31, 2007 |
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Code of the Boys
FOUND by Allison Lingua
in New Haven, Connecticut
I found this in a Fantasy art book I got at the Goodwill. It was hidden in between the pages.
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Skinny October 27, 2006 |
Lovesick Bus Stop... September 29, 2005 |
Like My Dad Did July 30, 2005 |
Super Gay October 12, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
That writing is SO girlish
something tells me that point 1 won't last much past puberty
Where's the action figures?!?!
What's the penalty for losing the list? Nobody will lower the rope to let him climb up the to the treehouse?
Classic. This describes young boys and the basis of their characters.
Unfortunately, I only managed to abide by Amendments 4 and 5 of the code growing up.
Well, damn, if that isn't the best Code I've ever read. Change number one to… something else, I don't know… and it's perfect.
what boys read comics anymore?
I will follow rule number two by stating I just bought a Nintendo Wii and I will break rule number four by bragging about how much fun it is! YAY ZELDA!
Wow. If I had a peek at this when I was a lot younger, perhaps I would have done better with my guy selections?
i think its perfect, reminds me so much of something that Beaver and his friend Whitey would write.
My eyes caught that huge "C" right away. The author of this intended this to look fancy...the C is written just like the first letter in the first work of a fancy book. That used to facinate me when I was younger. I was amused by the fact that the first word was that important that the first letter had to be huge and fancy. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is there a name for that?
My eyes caught that huge "C" right away. The author of this intended this to look fancy...the C is written just like the first letter in the first work of a fancy book. That used to facinate me when I was younger. I was amused by the fact that the first word was that important that the first letter had to be huge and fancy. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? Is there a name for that?
Illuminated text.
This makes me think of the Dangerous Book for Boys.
Don't scratch when you itch and always claim less (or more?) stitches than you really got
Except for the first one , these are not bad rules . Ha , I would have liked to have seen it if a nine year old SALT wrote it !It would have been ten pages long !
The first rule of fight club...
I thought this looked familiar. I have this taped to my fridge. I follow these rules every day!!!!!!!!
I want to join this club. They have things figured out pretty well. This is a good policy to follow. I still live by these rules today. I hope they do to. It's funny how little things actually change as we get older.
I live with a prepubescent boy. This seems like a list he would write. The handwriting is dead on, they are just learning cursive. But don't brag? Never .
Banana, I always loved illuminated characters too!! If you are anywhere near LA, the Getty museum has a fantastic exhibit of Illuminated Choir Books from as early as the 12 Century. Check it out if you can get there!
Love the find btw, I can just imagine 'the gang' sitting in their 'fort' carefully transcribing their "Code of the Boys!" Do you suppose that is the mark of their 'blood oath' in the lower left corner?
Why can I never see the error of my ways until AFTER I post? I sure wish there was an edit feature....
8. And always write in cursive...
This is the best find in a long time! No spelling errors? Am I missing something? Illuminated text? This is one literate group of boys -- I'm impressed.
I'm going to buy the Dangerous Book for Boys, even though I'm not a boy. I like the grammar sections. Dangerous dangerous grammar.
I love this!! It reminds me of something my friend and I wrote when we were little, and which (to my embarrassment) my parents recently found in a box 'o crap in my old room. It was called "how to spy" and even included punishments for getting caught!
Number one is the only rule that can never be broken. ALWAYS. Too bad. This is my kind of boy. A strong good speller with pretty penmanship. But he will always hate me. :(
Me too, Emily!
LISTS ARE FUCKING AWESOME. MINE WOULD HAVE VARIED SOME, HOWEVER
What I am curious about is Allison's description of where she found it. "It was hidden in between the pages." Really? I would have hidden it someplace else in the the book.
I personally like to eat really heavy candy and cry while I brag about it.
#4 seems out of place .. aren't small boys made of bragging? Oh well .. it's his list. He can include whatever he wants.
And to whomever asked if boys still read comics .. oh yeah, comics are huge. Or .. so I've heard. *shifty eyes*
No kidding Tucker, how about action figures,picking up frogs and laughing at fart jokes? He/she forgot some.
I think Allison will be positively giddy when I tell her this made "Find of the Day."
It seems like it was written by a girl, kind of half mocking and half admiring boys.
This note is proof that gender is a socially defined and enforced characteristic. I bet the writers of the note just got beat up and made fun of for reading fantasy novels, treating girls like they're human and otherwise acting like fags.
this is a note i wrote to remind myself what kind of guys i should pursue. make sure they hate girls, spend endless hours playing video games and reading comic books, and, if i'm lucky, they'll shove their mouths full of candy to keep from crying... unless their favorite sports team loses... then it's acceptable.
DON'T GET UP IN ARMS UP OVER GENDER ROLES. THEY WERE CREATED FOR A REASON. WOMEN NEEDED A CERTAIN KIND OF MAN IN ORDER TO HELP THEM SURVIVE AND VISA VERSA. YOU CANNOT CHANGE HISTORY AND IT TAKES FOREVER TO UNLEARN SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN POUNDED INTO OUR HEADS FOR AGES.
IF WE START AN ARGUMENT OVER THIS, WE'LL HAVE TO RETURN TO THE RELIGIOUS, MARRIAGE, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, AND PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATES.
WHO IS HONESTLY UP FOR THE DRUDGERY OF THAT
This makes me miss my old tree house! The countless bad-guys killed in epic battles, the jungle animals that became our friends, adversity and danger narrowly averted! (We were a bit melodramatic.) Except we never had any rule for hating boys.
What a great Friday Find.
Djinn, I think comics are cool. I'll tell you a secret....*whispering* Some girls read comics too. X-Men and any Neil Gaiman in particular.
I see "Shower Daily" didn't make the cut.
SALT- you are wrong. It only takes a few generations (and we're halfway done already) to debunk and eliminate those kinds of self-fullfilling prophesies.
But, we don't need to argue about it. Just remember this conversation in ten or twenty years when you're scratching your head and wondering how everything could've changed so quickly. Just like your moms and dads is doing right now.
Yeah, SALT, I agree that not much has changed in terms of gender roles. But those roles were never as concrete as we think they are. Look at any ancient civilizations. Gender has always been fluid.
I'm honestly up for the drudgery of turning off the Caps Lock.
djinn, little boys are made of snips and snails amd puppy dog tails.
What an interesting C. I'd say it's a third or fourth grade C.
Congrats on your new place Monika!
The beginning of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
I WON'T BE SCRATCHING MY HEAD. THERE ARE A FEW BASIC RULES THAT I FOLLOW TO KEEP MY WOMEN IN LINE.
1) I ALWAYS DRIVE THE CAR
2) I PULL IN MORE MONEY
3) WITH THAT MONEY, I BUY HER THINGS SUCH AS DINNER AND RINGS
4) CONTINUE TO ASK THE WOMAN JUST HOW TO GET THIS STAIN OUT
5) TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY ON A REGULAR BASIS
6) TELL HER SHE SMELLS GOOD
7) PRETEND THAT SHE'S AN AMAZING COOK
SHE'S OBLIVIOUS, OF COURSE. I SUBTLETY KEEP HER IN LINE
WITH THESE RULES, AND A FEW MORE, YOU CAN KEEP GENDER ROLES ALIVE.
LET ME SHOW YOU HOW
1) WHEN YOU DRIVE, YOU PUT THE WOMAN'S SAFETY INTO YOUR HANDS. YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF HER WELL BEING, YOU ARE THE MAN THAT YOU SHOULD BE
2) IF YOU CAN CARE FOR HER, YOU ARE JUST THAT MUCH MORE ATTRACTIVE. WOMEN HAVE ALWAYS AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE A MORE DIFFICULT TIME PULLING IN MONEY TO RAISE A FAMILY. SHE CAN'T DO IT ALONE AND SHE NEEDS YOU
3) GIRLS ARE SILLY AND NEED YOU TO BUY HER THINGS IN ORDER TO KNOW THAT YOU WANT TO SLEEP WITH HER AND CARE FOR HER. YOU CAN TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER AND SHE'S BEAUTIFUL 3,000,000 TIMES BUT NOTHING SAYS 'LET'S FUCK' LIKE AN OVER PRICED PLATE OF CREATIVELY ARRANGED NOODLES OR A DIAMOND.
4) KEEP HER KNOWLEDGE OF WOMANLY CHORES ALIVE. SHE LIKES FEELING LIKE A NURTURER AND BY ASKING HER TO 'HELP' YOU SEW A BUTTON ON OR GET A STAIN OUT, SHE FEELS USEFUL AND WILL CONTINUE TO keep that gender role alive
5)JUST AS IN RULE THREE, WOMEN ARE SUCKERS. MEN DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT EXTRA BIT OF PERFUME OR MAKE UP BUT HOW ELSE CAN SHE GO THAT EXTRA LINK TO BE SEEMINGLY MORE ATTRACTIVE? SHE NEEDS THAT, HUMOR HER
6) SEE ABOVE
7) SEE ABOVE
The most important point is number six, don't be a cry-baby. Please refer to the comment I left yesterday.
Salt, what exactly do YOU get out of that? pussy when you want it? Because it seems like it would be cheaper to get a prostitute.
My dad swore me to an oath containing these same rules. But it was for Republican Party membership.
SALT, I think Tom Jones summed it up best in the song "She's A Lady."
That's one fine piece of chauvinistic work right there.
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SEX WITH A FEMALE THAT THINKS SHE LOVES YOU
You know SALT, I can't tell where the persona starts and the person ends.
Regardless, I appreciate that some of what you said was compassionate and considerate. A lot of what you wrote falls under the category of common courtesy - or should, rather.
However, you have just made the fatal mistake of generalizing and stereotyping. I believe that, male or female, you should get to know the person and their likes, dislikes and preferences - work off of them.
And yes, all relationships are about power. But who ever said that you have to be stuck in one power role? Variety, my friend, is a very good thing. Read some Foucault. (By the way, did you ever think about who actually has the power in a Dominant/Submissive situation?)
Rules for keeping Salt in line:
1. Always let him drive. It helps him feel manly.
2. Let him make more money. That's less work I have to do.
3. Swoon and sigh and fawn over any little bauble he gives me.
4. Tolerate his repeated attempts to pretend like he respects me.
5. Smile and tell him he's sweet when he falsely compliments my appearance, scent, or culinary ability.
6. Fuck him like I love him and live rent-free. It's like prostitution, only easier.
Awesome Sand! Exactly!
Somewhere between Salt's list and Sand's list ...I live Happily. Gender roles are comforting it's nice to be able to stay home and raise your child right. I do find I tolerate a lot of false compliments that are irritatingly sweet and I'm not impressed by jewelry but otherwise Salt makes sense today.
Turbo - your comment is funniest. And so true. "Hidden between the pages" is one of those phrases that is completely redundant, yet so often heard that I had never thought of it that way. But you're right. Where else would it have been? In the spine?
Woman,
Don't we (women) also give out our fair share of false compliments? 'Oh, you're so strong!' 'It's so big!' 'I'm coming! I'm coming!' 'That was amazing!'
THERE'S NO PERSONA HERE ANYMORE, KITTEN. ONLY MYSELF AND MY SENSE OF HUMOR. I WON'T EXPLAIN IT FUTHER AND I WON'T EXPLAIN THAT AGAIN.
My husband says the way to have the best sex is to call her the wrong name and then hang on!
That's funny, I don't recall asking for an explanation.
i always just make my bitch snort lines of coke off my hard two inch cock and then when i fuck her with it i make her say it's the biggest one she ever got. we both know bitch is lying but that is what makes it even hotter.
Could have been tucked in between the cover of the book and the dust cover.
Sounds like you have a deeply fulfilling relationship, one hand. By the way, is that the name of your bitch, 'one hand'?
#4 should be: DO brag
#5 should be: DRINK HARD LICQUOR!
#4 should be: DO brag
#5 should be: DRINK HARD LICQUOR!
This debate reminds me of a quote from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". The man is the head of the household, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whatever way she wants too. (or close to that)
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ASK. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF AN OPEN ENDED FORUM, KITTEN.
ARE YOU LAUGHING? IS IT HA-HA FUNNY?
Well, if you imply a question was asked, then yes. I think you're a little confused - open forum isn't the same as responding to imaginary questions/comments.
You really are back to your full inflammatory glory - nonsense and all! That's what makes you so amusing! Ha Ha
funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?
You know what's funnier than Salt?
Cancer.
I don't comment much but I read comments often. One thing I've noticed, SALT, is that you either say you've had enough or won't explain yourself further. And while you may hold true to your word and not get into specifics one thing you are especially bad at is repeating yourself and getting into these same trivial arguments with people. I can see you quite like the attention but if you truly didn't care, as you say you don't, why do you constantly bring yourself down to these inferior levels. I would have much more respect for you if you said what you had to say and left it at that regardless of what people thought.
I saw one other time everyone berated a person for commenting on things when they themselves did not comment, but as SALT has recently said "that's the beauty of an open ended forum."
So as to make this at least marginally about the find itself I thought #'s 6 and 7 were kind of reduntant - but then again it looks to be written by someone that doesn't know the meaning so it's OK. Or maybe they just wanted to drive the point home.
This seems like something written by a boy for his younger brother. And the way the C is in front or 'ode...' and 'Boys' reminds me of business logos, making it seem like the 'Code of the C-Boys'. A club perhaps?
you can be physically strong and not emotionally strong, therefore, it is not redundant to require one to be strong and to not be a crybaby.
The comments used to actually have something to do with the find. I am annoyed by all these unnecessary argument/conversations that occur. If it were SOMEHOW related to the find, that would be great.
If you want to talk about that other stuff, start a forum outside of foundmag.
.... but it doesn't matter what I or anyone else says, and I am actually making it worse by posting this here.
And, SALT. You strike me as an individual of little intellect. Perhaps your Caps Lock key is stuck or broken. It might be time for a new keyboard.
Or, just save yourself some money and stop typing.... forever.
Don't read the comments if you don't like them. Some people actually enjoy engaging in witty banter. Get your panties out of your ass.
That kind of initial letter is actually called a 'drop cap'. Illuminated letters are heavily decorated drop caps, originally in medieval manuscripts. Check it out on wikipedia!
Most of these comments relate to the find. EXCEPT yours, ironically. Salt actually initiated a very intellectually stimulating discussion regarding gender roles, stemming from the find. Yes, Salt, I said you were stimulating. In a 'poke me in the ass' kind of way.
I'm getting tired of the math spam protection questions. This website is biased against the numerically challenged.
by 'poke me in the ass,' I meant with a sharp stick in the fleshy area. I did NOT mean with your penis in my rectum. Thank you very much.
WELL..
I used to enjoy reading the comments. Now you have to sift through the rabble.
I realize that there is a large amount of comments on topic here. I meant in general.
I'm finished.
I shall never post again.
Our lives have been profoundly affected by the sage words of <_<. Let us have a moment of silence to reflect upon his passing.
Hey, Salt, you created the role. And you do amuse me.
Babies in a blender are funnier than Salt
sand, you are a riot. your poke me in the ass comment even stopped SALT.
OH, KITTEN, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU FIRED BACK. I WAS RESPONDING TO THE ASS COMMENT.
PLEASE HOLD..
THERE WAS NO QUESTION. YOU WERE COMMENTING ON MY PERSONA BEING VALID OR OTHERWISE AND I SHED SOME LIGHT ON IT FOR YOU. THIS CONVERSATION CAN'T GO ANY FURTHER, I LEFT IT AT THAT.
ok, so yesterday<*, I got this email<, and the subject was 'don't drive drunk<,' and there were these pictures<, and there were, like, a lot of crashed cars<, and then, like, there was this picture of this guy<, and he was cut in half, and there were guts everywhere, and I was all like, grody to the max! And that was still funnier than SALT.
* < denotes rising intonation to suggest an interrogative, common in the speech of valley girls.
Have I got you frazzled, SALT? I see you misspelled your own name.
Oh, dear SALT...There was no comment on the validity of your persona. Try not to read too much into comments, you only get confused.
This find also made me think of the He-man woman haters club.
And I'm intrigued about this "false compliments" deal. I have never given out an insincere compliment in my life, I'd sooner say nothing than shine you on. As for receiving compliments, I take them, I love 'em, because I know they're true. Maybe compliments seem false when you don't believe the things that are being said about you.
Ok, let's get this settled so that these comments will stop, so as not to further annoy the illustrious <_<.
kitten said: I can't tell the difference between your persona and the real you.
salt said: there is no more persona, it's all me. I won't explain further.
kitten said: I didn't ask you to explain.
salt said: I didn't say you asked me, but I said it anyway.
I'm paraphrasing, but this is essentially what occurred.
misunderstanding - clarified
violence - averted
please continue witty banter.
Thank you and have a nice day.
terrie, ever heard the phrase 'flattery will get you everywhere'?
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar...
SALT, i was talking about shifting gender roles in society, not your rules for a shitty dishonest game-playing relationship. Rules which, as a result of shifting gender identities, are becoming more and more obsolete all the time.
Sand, yes, I have. In fact, I say it every time somebody tells me I'm beautiful. And I agree with your list and salt's too.
I don't think those rules, or that particular strategy for relationships, is becoming obsolete. But they are no longer gender specific. A gay male may compliment another man's shirt even if he thinks it is hideous and doesn't go with those pants at all, if he thinks it will get him a little pokey-pokey. A working wife may point out to her stay-at-home husband how vacuuming the living room has really enlarged his biceps. Most everybody uses persuasion to get what one wants. Some more blatantly than others.
I MENTIONED A LIST OF RULES I FOLLOW TO KEEP WOMEN IN THEIR ROLES, REX, AFTER YOU MENTIONED THINGS CHANGING.
YOU SAID, THINGS CHANGE
I SAID, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT HERE ARE THE RULES.
SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU.... SHIT
He forgot "no snitching".
Rex, you said gender roles change. Salt, you said you follow these rules to keep them from changing. But Salt, the world keeps revolving, whether you are playing ball or not, and you may emerge from the darkness of one of your S&M fantasy role playing scenarios to find that women are scratching their crotches and running the country while men are crying over tampon commercials. and no amount of kissing ass and promising to 'take care of her' is going to make a woman go back to being your pussy in a box because we can damn well take care of ourselves and our children.
oh, look! something shiny! buy it for me, please!
Wow...what a giant load of pop-soc bullshit the comments are today.
Men are from Mars...
Sorry, I don't think persuasion is the same as lying.
I read rule #7 "be strong" as an all encompassing Strong, both physically and emotionally. I suppose it could be read either way. Though, again considering the age of the author, they most likely meant physically. Despite this, I feel #7 should mean what I said. Not only is it more "manly" which is clearly the intent of the list but it also means I would be right.
Take that, kid.
YOU'RE PAINTING THE PICTURE LIKE I HAVE TO CHASE WOMEN. DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU WHO I AM?
HI, MY NAME IS SALT. WOMEN BEND OVER BACKWARDS TO PLEASE MY URGES. I HAVE A HAREM OF SUPREMODELS WAITING TO FEED ME GRAPES IN MY PENTHOUSE CONDO
Oh, yeah? Well, I have a spork, and I am crushing you, you insignificant potato wanna-be. And I am tossing your carb laden corpse out the window into the parking lot. Take that! Arby's curly fries are better.
terrie, depends on who you're talking to. ever met a used car salesman?
Wow. How cynical it is to grease a relationship with false compliments. And how sad that one would need to give them in the first place. If your compliments to your mate are not genuine, you probably don't have the right mate. I compliment my mate all the time, and every word of it is true. I do find him incredibly handsome and he satisfies me wonderfully in bed. I also think he is smart and funny. When I have an issue - for example, if he hasn't satisfied me wonderfully, or if he has been a jackass - then I rectify that situation by saying so. He responds by then addressing what my problem is and fixing it. The last thing I would do to get my way is to offer a false compliment. That doesn't even make sense. If he hasn't been helpful enough around the house, telling him his biceps are big (when they aren't) is not going to get him to pitch in more. But if I tell him I am unhappy with the amount of housework he is doing, then he will do more. Then, I can give him a real compliment, such as commenting on his beautiful brown eyes and we can kiss and cuddle in connubial bliss.
If you have mated with someone who you don't actually find attractive but you lie to them about it, I feel sad for you. I don't really care about bicep size so there is no need to make that lie up. But if big biceps where important to me, then I would have found a mate with big biceps. I happen to be more attracted to deep brown eyes and full lips and so my mate has those features and I don't find myself looking at a blue-eyed, thin-lipped man saying, "I love your big brown eyes and kissable lips" in order to get him to vacuum the rug. That's retarded.
And why do women find you so attractive, Salt? Let me guess - you compliment their cooking.
You smell pretty...
I DIDN'T READ YOUR ENTIRE NOVEL, TEMPEST, BUT I'M SURE THE ENTIRE THING IS ONE REGURGITATED LINE AFTER ANOTHER.
THERE'S SOMETHIGN YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. MEN AREN'T AS SENTIMENTAL AS WOMEN. THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED TO COMPLIMENT A WOMAN. WE DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT NEW CLOTHING OR MAKE UP. WE ARE SATISFIED JUST SITTING WITH HER.
AS I SAID EARLIER, WOMEN need FLATTERY. YOU EVEN MENTIONED THAT YOU LIKE COMPLIMENTS, TRUE ONES. BECUASE YOU'RE WEAK AND WOULDN'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL OTHERWISE.
Thank you, Mrs. Perfect. Your life doesn't exactly lend itself to interesting writing, does it? So do us a favor and don't. Everyone has heard the psycho-babble bullshit, but it doesn't really work in real life, honey. Your husband is probably a closet alcoholic.
SIMPLE, THEY LOVE ME BECAUSE I'M THE ALPHA MALE
For one thing, I am a male.
For another thing, I really don't see how being in favor of genuine compliments is "psychobabble." Moreover, I would actually say that this business of using false compliments to get your way falls more into the category of "psychobabble." It sounds like that garbagey pop-psychology we get on Oprah and Dr. Phil all the time. Bullshit about how to make your lame marriage work.
And I will hold that it is nothing but retarded to tell some skinny joe that his biceps are big in order to get him to help around the house. That is both psycho AND babble. RETAHDED. Marry someone you think is hot instead. Or else stop buying into some bullshit idea that men need big biceps to be attractive. That's retarded, too.
And if you HAVE married someone that you don't find attractive but lie to them about it to get your way with them, I DO feel sad for you. That's not love. That's pathetic. Get a hooker and a maid instead.
SO, YOU'RE GAY, WHICH COMES WITH AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT RANT I COULD OFFEND THE HELL OUT OF YOU WITH BUT I'LL STICK TO THIS:
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE FEMININE ROLE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. YOU'RE FALLING INTO ROLES AS WELL, IN TURN, WHAT I SAID STILLS TANDS
And if you HAVE married someone that you don't find attractive but lie to them about it to get your way with them, I DO feel sad for you. That's not love. That's pathetic. Get a hooker and a maid instead.
First off, I take issue with you calling something that you think is stupid RETARDED. I don't go around calling things that I think is stupid GAY.
Second, you are making some pretty big assumptions about my beliefs based on comments made on the internet, most of which are tongue-in-cheek. Do you know what sarcasm is? Talk about stick in the ass. Jeesh!
LOOKS LIKE I NEED TO REITERATE SOMETHING FOR YOU:
MEN AREN'T AS SENTIMENTAL AS WOMEN. THEY HAVE TO BE REMINDED TO COMPLIMENT A WOMAN. WE DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO DETAIL. WE DON'T CARE ABOUT NEW CLOTHING OR MAKE UP. WE ARE SATISFIED JUST SITTING WITH HER.
AS I SAID EARLIER, WOMEN need FLATTERY. YOU EVEN MENTIONED THAT YOU LIKE COMPLIMENTS, TRUE ONES. BECUASE YOU'RE WEAK AND WOULDN'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL OTHERWISE.
IN YOUR CASE, PRETEND "HER" IS YOU
And I will stick with this: Your notions are nothing but Dr. Phil/Oprah pop-psychology pap.
I am sorry sand. I didn't know that you are developmentally disabled or I wouldn't have used that word.
I just have to reiterate, though, that if you wound up with a mate who you have to fake compliments to in order to get them to do things, that is not a very good relationship. It's base. You would be better off with a hooker and a maid. Maybe you could even find a hooker that cleans houses!
you don't even know what my true notions are. do you think I would be so boorish to come on here and preach to everyone what my philosophy of love is? This is for entertainment. Lighten up.
hey! where can i find me one of those hookers who clean houses? i needs me one of 'dem!
But making you feel bad about your crappy relationship and talking about housecleaning hookers *is* entertaining. I am lauging so hard that my coworkers probably think I am crazy at the moment.
For the record, I think my mate and I are pretty evenly matched as to which one of us is the "feminine" role. He and I are both equally sentimental and both enjoy genuine compliments and whereas I do see some gay couples falling into traditional roles of husband and wife based on old-fashioned heterosexual ideas, I would say we are not one of those couples. And refreshingly, I also have straight friends who have relationships that are very equal and not mired in old-fashioned roles and that don't involve petty manipulations as if their whole life were some pathetic episode of King of Queens or something.
If I hired a hooker who was retarded and cleaned houses, would it be wrong of me to tell her she's smart to get her to not charge me?
yeah, that's all well and good and all, but take it somewhere where someone gives a damn.
Manipulating hookers with false compliments is a whole different animal than doing so with your mate. And as far as I am concerned, that is part of the fun of hiring a hooker. You are paying them to act sexy with you regardless of how you look so it is kind of assumed that things are false from the get go. If you can get a discount by fucking with their heads, then I am all for it.
This also holds true for non-paid sexual slaves. Manipulating them is part of the fun and sexy game of humiliation that they crave from you. So I say go for it!
I love psychobabble. Like, "It puts the lotion in the basket," or "Wendy, gimme the bat."
I also love gay retards. I actually happen to be one myself. And as Whitney said, learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
Even though I'm gay, I have implemented some of the tactics mentioned above for purposes of controlling women. Not for sex or power or housekeeping, but for things like making them race against my RC cars out in the driveway. It's cool, controlling two things at once without even speaking or touching them.
Anyone have any Tabasco sauce?
you would manipulate a retarded person into having sex with you? dude, you are sick.
Flapjack, you are so right. As a gay man, I guess I also do use false compliments to manipulate women. The women at work love to be complimented by a gay man on their pathetic attempts at looking stylish, so I pour it on thick and it helps me advance in my career.
I don't have a problem with that.
I only had a problem with using false compliments with one's mate.
Lying at work is normal and necessary.
Lying in your marriage is RETARDED.
Lying in bed with a same sex partner is GAY. BA DA BOOM!
say it's your partner's birthday and you are planning a huge party. the caterer calls with some questions about the menu. after you get off the phone, your partner asks who it was. do you a) tell the truth and ruin the surprise, or b) lie and tell him it was someone else, in which case you have lied to get what YOU want because you wanted to keep the party secret.
c) Shove my cock in his mouth and distract him with its glory and wonder until he is speechless with blowjobs.
lying by omission. and emission.
The email goes down for a while and I miss out on all the juicy arguments.
Sand - thanks for the recap. I'm didn't see any threat of violence. I mean, how much violence can you perpetrate online? I just don't see why SALT would get so defensive. But I guess that's just his schtick.
I was speaking of the violence with which I would vomit if I had to read any more 'he said, she said, no, I didn't say, but you said' posts.
I wonder if Sand and SALT are the same person...
salt has to be right. just stroke his frail, little ego and go on.
psst! did you hear about salt? he won't let his woman drive because it makes him feel like less of a man.
I bet he's not even secure enough with his manliness to wear a pink shirt. Or to sit in the bitch seat on a motorcycle.
Oh, no! Don't insult me like that!
Well, if you have such a weak stomach, simply don't read the comments.
If you put a disclaimer before your comment warning readers of the whiney, petty crap contained therein, then I would not.
IT'S NOT ABOUT MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A MAN. IT'S ABOUT MAKING HER FEEL SECURE, PROTECTED, AND FRAIL
Yes. More retarded hookers and monster cocks and less "he said, she said" crap. That kind of stuff, much like the idea of spouses employing false compliments to get their way, is dangerously close to talk show melodrama.
Why can't she feel confident and capable? What happens when you die and she doesn't know how to drive?
I, for one, have long let go of the notion that I need to make more than my wife. She makes twice as much as I do. And if I let that threaten my manhood, I would not have nearly the nice standard of living I have today. I would drive a junker instead of a Miata! Shewt.
aawwww this find reminds be of Calvin and Hobbes and the G.R.O.S.S. club! :)!
Also, SALT is sand your little bro or what?
and P.S. you know what else is funnier? A dead baby in a clown costume.
Sis. And I am his alter-ego, sort of like Jekyl and Hyde. Except both of us are pretty gruesome.
It's been fun chatting with you guys. Have a great holiday weekend!
A MIATA? AHAHAHAHASDHGAH WHY NOT A BEETLE? THOSE COME EQUIPPED WITH VASES FOR YOUR PANSIES... OR A MINI COOPER?
Oh my loves...women have ALWAYS had and always will have control over most of things ina relationship. The beauty of it is, we are good at convincing the men that they are in control. It gets them off, and then we get off on our power.
Men have their angle too - we all do. So what? It's life.
Oh this is charming. I can picture the tree house club now. Very "Our Gang" or "Leave It To Beaver." Very cute find.
LOL! This reminds me of my 'top secret clubhouse' rules when I'd run with my posse as a kid - a la "A Christmas Story"/Ralphie.
Even the "don't brag." That stupid Eddie was always bragging and could really be a jerk. The rules were posted on the door.
Only if you do the same.
Have a good weekend too. All of you!
Hey Mickey, do you know why a truck full of babies is better than a truck full of bowling balls?
Not really up for arguing.
But Salt, man, that's fucked up.
It don't work on all women, that's for sure. Only let assholes buy me dinner, that way I at least get something out of a wasted night.
On the find, though:
We had a club like this back in the day. Our password was "password", which at the time, seemed brilliant. Oh, how things change.
We all know whitie's game.
hmm, skipping the last 50 or so comments, back to the find: graphic novels are the thing, read back to front! I wish the first letter of each rule combined to make a word, but all it spells is ALRDEDB and I'm not patient/smart enough to make it into something except ALDRED B or RED BALD
O.K., I'LL ADMIT THAT I DON'T MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS SOME MEN. I ALSO DON'T HAVE A CAR OR A WOMAN AT THE MOMENT. I'M JUST SAYING IF I DID, SHE WOULD BE LIKE I WANTED HER TO BE, AND I WOULDN'T DRIVE A VW.
Major Tom, why not BLADDER?
i am pretty sure that a girl wrote it.......
fantasy picture book?
handwriting?
It feels very freeing to be Unworthy today.
This is the best Find ever! I want to have it printed on business cards and pass them out to every boy I know!
Happy Holiday weekend to our friends at Found Magazine. xoxoxo
Nice job Flarge. Patient and smart. I LIKE that. Those qualities are going on MY list.... 8-)
SALT-I love you.
Your list/rules are perfect.
Marry me. :)
I love this find. I haven't read the comments yet, so I still love it. :)
Well , I think Sand may be gone for the day , so lets get that comment section intervention planned for her now .
right on! Boys RuLz!
I think SALT'S last comment says it all....
"IF" being the operative word there.
Sad man....really, really, sad.
I kind of agreed w/ya on making the woman feel protected - and secure, as those are positive things for her. But, to MAKE her feel "FRAIL?!?!" WTH? That speaks to YOUR insecurities my brother.
I want to make my woman feel empowered, and strong in herself - not frail, weak or helpless.
Me thinks some rouge has read his Shakespeare a bit too much...."Fraility thy name is woman..." and all.
Yeah, good luck with that man. You'll find someone though...there's plenty of them in both gender catagories.
This find reminds me of my 21 year old boyfriend, yes, I said 21 not 12! Except he brags and love's me (being the girl he is supposed to hate). I wish he followed a list more like SALTS though.... however I hate doing house work and could most likely tell if he were lying, but like Willy said we women always know and are AMAZING at playing along. Oh and sand- most math problems can be typed into google and will be solved for you.
SALT - your "Men aren't as sentimental as women" is not really correct. True, YOUNG men usually aren't as sentimental as young women. But as they get older, the roles reverse. Older men get weepy at the drop of a hat, and women get more practical and less emotional. Which obviously means that hormones are EVERYTHING, for both sexes. There was a documentary on some secluded tribe in South America. They were interviewing some tribesmen about a recent war that was started with a neighbor tribe. When they asked how it started, the elders mentioned that it involved some young men from each tribe. The documentarian pressed further and the elders said: "It's ALWAYS the young men" - meaning that they're the ones that start all the trouble. Ah testosterone and inexperience - a dangerous combination.
It's a safe bet that SALT is in his early or mid '20s. I wouldn't count on him losing the caps lock and attitude for 10 years minimum (if he's a quick learner), otherwise it may take 25 more years before he gets it.
Wow, lot's of comments today!!! Some list, I wonder how old the boy was who wrote this? What kind of fantasy art book was this? I'm sure I've dated someone who was once in a club like this. About SALT'S list, I wonder if I fall sucker to it. I hope you don't let your Suppermodels read that list.
Wow, been gone all day long. I do have a life. Who's Sand, sounds interesting?
The thing that I don't understand though SALT is if you truly live in a penthouse and have money why do you need a list in order to keep a woman? I know there are plenty of women out there who would do anything to be with a man who has money. My dad in fact was dating a lady for a while who said that she would buy her own engagement ring (with her sister) if my dad would only marry her, when, from the beginning, he had said he never intended to marry anyone else because he had enough women in his life (3 exes and 4 daughters).
Bella - I still think that is brilliant!
always stick to the code.
SALT in THE SEA said:
THERE'S NOTHING LIKE SEX WITH A FEMALE THAT THINKS SHE LOVES YOU
Salt, it's even better with a woman you KNOW you love.
Variety is the SPICE of life. All things being equal, they are but grains in your eyes.
I skipped the last buncha stuff because.. well... just because. But I do wanna say..
Thank you very much to Old Jeb in Central NY.. although I was thinking "don't rat out your friends" Just about the most vital rule of the code omitted. What was he thinking?? Although, the rule "be strong" could possibly encompass this one. (like even if they're pulling out your fingernails, one by one, be strong; don't give up the names.)
As for the rest of this stuff.. the past several days have really enlightened me. My good ol' friend Patootie was right.
Best find ever... with the absolute worst comments. So many of you think you are so brilliant, when in actuality, you spend all day, EVERY day, posting snide, negative replies to other pseudo-intellectuals on the found message board. I wish I had that kind of free time.
On the other hand, I dont. While I enjoy the daily find, Im glad I spend the rest of my day in the real word.
Commence insulting my character and opinions... that IS the standard operating procedure of this forum, isn't it?
STFU AMAZEMENT. I OWN THIS PLACE. JUST ASK ANYONE.
Flarg! You are brilliant. If the rules spell out BLADDER, Be Strong would be #1. I like it.
Yeah you own it. But you're masturbating in public.
I have laughed so much tonight and I just want to thank you Sand and SALT! Although I'm beginning to wonder if Sand is on some kind of chemical substance because of the rapid fire comments and what seems to be a need to dominate the conversation.
No offense of course. It’s just an observation. Besides, it's providing me with entertainment and that’s all that matters. =)
"Hey Mickey, do you know why a truck full of babies is better than a truck full of bowling balls?"
^You can use a pitchfork to unload a truck full of babies.
Anyway....
I guess I'm the only one who thinks it looks a bit like "Cock of the Boys"?
Ok, so there's this forum I found where people comment about "Finds" (notes, photos, scraps of paper, etc) and often the comments escalate into debates that have nothing to do with the finds at all.
Now there's this one guy, he checks this site ALL DAY LONG.
He left comments at:
8:11 am
9:20 am
10:22 am
10:46 am
11:27 am
12:31 pm
1:36 pm
1:54 pm
2:33 pm
3:01 pm
3:12 pm
3:13 pm
3:22 pm
3:25 pm
4:28 pm
5:11 pm
6:25 pm
11:3o pm
That's over 15 hours of commenting. at least once every hour, with a little break for dinner.
I can't imagine what this guy's life/job must be like. this is his only source of entertainment. wow.
interesting, how long have you be sitting there checking the times of his posts? :)
salt. sand. kitten. tempest. someone scoop the catb0x already.
This is interesting, This is. SALT HAS NO LIFE, but we all knew that. I have a feeling Sand doesn't either. In fact, I and I'm sure others suspect they are probably the same person. So add up how many times Sand posted as well. Scary huh.
SALT: i think you pretty well done proved my point, unless it was an imposter who said the "I ALSO DON'T HAVE A CAR OR A WOMAN AT THE MOMENT." line. I bet if you dropped the bullshit gender expectations and manipulations you'd find yourself happier and more successful.
Tempest: high fives!
Someone asked what it is called when there is a big fancy letter for the start of a story, its called illumination.
woo flame war woo.
Sweet and sentimental Find. Classic.
I live by these rules.
They're more like guidelines, really.
Jack Sparrow, your comment continues to make me laugh.
This is sexist.
Sorry, Kitten, I was gone and didn't see your question, and now someone else has beaten me to it. Great answer, btw Sara! hahaha I love it.
"sand in your craw
Sis. And I am his alter-ego, sort of like Jekyl and Hyde. Except both of us are pretty gruesome.
It's been fun chatting with you guys. Have a great holiday weekend!
+ August 31, 2007 04:58 PM + "
I just wanted to repeat that post from 4:58 PM for posterity. This, the Code of the Boys, was the day that sand TOLD us that SALT and
sand are the exact same irritant. Along with Pepper, more than likely. Creepy.
He wrote it in cursive so I'm guessing he is in second or third grade. Maybe fourth.
The group probably picked him or he volunteered to write this because he likes writing in his class and is good at cursive and thinks its fun.