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January 18, 2008 |
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Pepperoni Frustrations
FOUND by Ashley
in Eagan, Minnesota
We always eat in our company's cafeteria. As you walk out, there is a board of comment cards for people to express their feelings on the cafeteria food. So as we leave, we often read them for a little laugh. This card was just hilarious. I had to take it. If someone has frustrations about the clumped pepperonis on their calzone, I can't even imagine their home life problems.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
this is hysterical. can you imagine the cafeteria worker who had to read and respond to this?
Mmmmmmm! Food Week at Found.
And a Calzone sounds even better than Chili!
I hate it, too, when all the pepperoni is bunched in one pile. I mean, how lazy is the cook?
I can imagine that the next time the cook was distributing pepperoni to the calzones, he lumped even MORE together in one spot. Just to piss the anonymous complainer off.
something tells me that all the calzones will now come with special sauce. stay away from the 'zones.
yes, i think it certainly is wise to avoid these... um... tasty little treats ( :-)) for a while. And hey, if bein' pissed off about the pepporoni placement doesn't kill ya, the heart-attack-on-a-plate-which-is-the-calzone will... Think about it, son.
I know exactly how bothersome it is to have the pepperoni slices stacked up together. I hate that as well. I wonder how "they" will work with the cook on this. Are there special "How not to stack up pepperoni when making a calzone." Don't you learn this in cooking school? Perhaps the cook has his diploma in pancakes, which I liked stacked.
In our company's cafeteria, I hate how they won't let me make my own sandwich anymore. The deli used to be self-serve, but now I have to stand there, wait for one of the cashiers to notice me, come over to make my sandwich while everyone who was in her line scowls at me.
I never noticed how the pepperoni in the calzones is too bunchy-uppy, but now that'll probably bother me too. Thanks a lot!
That is hysterical, certainly puts my problems into perspective...no more worrying about my kids health or mortgage repayments, it's all about the pepperoni
you didn't FIND this; you TOOK it.
Oh great, now the cook's gonna be putting HIS "pepperoni" in all the calzones before serving them.
Honestly, I feel this one. There's this pizza place that puts WAY too much pepperoni on their pizza. About four will be stacked up on top of each other. Kinda nasty. (I just stopped going there, though.)
Oh how unwise to criticise the folks who make your food! I too would avoid anything "Italian" at that caff for a bit. A long bit!
your cafeteria serves calzones?
Whatzat, Richie? Someone complained about the pepperoni calzone? No kiddin. Yeah, yeah, I can be more careful about the pepperoni. I got yer pepperoni right here, you freakin idiot. Talk to my union rep. Get outta my kitchen.
This is an interesting *Took*. I have to agree. Can you imagine if stacked pepperoni were your only problem? Can you imagine it bugging you enough to bother writing someone a note. That seems sad. And yet maybe a life without real troubles does exist somewhere. Who knows?
I bet Ashley workds at ACS. Also, nothing is truly found until it is taken, in any case if they haven't fixed the pepperoni problem in four months it's probably not going to happen anyway. Great find! I lol'd.
@Chrome Toaster is on the right track. This note was written by Ron (see yesterday's Find). He didn't like the chili. He complains about the calzone. What next?
And -- by the way -- "thanks for asking"!
I really thought it said " Thank you for fucking. ".
i like how Rick says "we will work with the cook on this", like it's going to be a process, instead of just saying "hey johnny, spread the pepperoni around a little more on the calzones o.k." the poor cook will probably have to go to a seminar on pepperoni distribution. you know managers, always making things easier
Has this person ever seen Waiting? Don't ever complain!!!!
hey, they asked for comments didn't they? and i have to agree with the commenter. my stromboli place does the pepperoni bunching and it pisses me off. sure there are bigger problems, but when you're hungry, who can see past this? maybe i'll copy this and turn it in to the stromboli maker anonymously....
Self inflicted:
I thought the same thing!!! Hahaha!
As for the complaint. I agree with everyone else, NEVER, EVER complain at a restaurant until you are finished with your meal, then you wait awhile before you go back so that there is a different wait staff.
I used to wait tables at an italian restaraunt and I agree, complaining is unwise. I KNOW.
The last calzone I ate had the same problem, only worse. ALL the ingredients were in piles - a couple bites of pepperoni, a couple bits of onions, a couple bites of cheese, etc.
It sucked big calzones.
Maybe the cook just calzoned out.
Bwaaaaaahaaahaaaa. Ha. Um, sorry.
First, eatin pizza was a mistake. Then eating it in the average cafteria is a bigger mistake. The cafeteria crew needs a note about serving healthier food.
frank
self inflicted - HAHHA!!!
i'm going to cafepress right now to make post-its for work that say that.
i work at a hotel front lobby, people always complain about the most insignificant things. it's hard to plaster a smile on your face when they're complaining about only getting 1 packet of instant coffee in their welcome package.
i feel for you cook
it's not that hard to spread pepperonis a little buit by yourself. you dont need the cook to do it. they probably get bunched up because he makes a pizza then folds it in half, so the toppings end up in piles.
Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still haven't received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it and then I came to the cafeteria to eat my lunch and the pepperoni was all stacked at one end of the calzone and it's - it's really too spicy you know it's very frustrating you know because I ordered the calzone and I specifically said to spread the pepperoni out and they didn't so... I could set the building on fire.
Poor harassed cook now not only has to do his regular jobs, he has to work extra hard to make the calzones perfect. I bet he glares at everyone who takes one, thinking "It was that guy who wrote the complaint, wasn't it?!"
Maybe the writer was having a extremely frustrating day. Who knows what else went horribly wrong that day? And then she went to go eat expecting a perfectly delicious calzone and (gasp) THE PEPPERONI IS CLUMPED TOGETHER! Last straw type of thing. Can't say I haven't freaked about something cause of a bad day.
My old boyfiend was a pizza maker who would sabatoge the pizza if someone pissed him off. He was also a Native American (full blood Hopi), Elvis impersonator (24/7), Mormon, and said he was KKK. I had a hard time believing the Klan would let in a Native American named Lopez, but he said the KKK believes the Native Americans to be true Americans and that the Klan is big on the rez. Anyone ever heard that before? Oh, I also had a hard time with the whole Klan thing, but he sure was entertaining.
Never, ever complain in a restaurant. Just don't go back for a long, long time. Or in this case learn to bring your own pb & j or whatever. Trust me on this. Really.
Clover, we didn't get all that much snow here but it is going to be really, really brutal cold for the next couple of days.
I know exactly what your foot looks like. My husband broke his ankle in December when he slipped on some ice (cubes maybe).
For those of you non-sporting fans you should know there is a HUGE football game on Sunday here in Wisconsin and the cold is a bit of a challenge.
@Needing more coffee: You nailed it.
LOL at Needing More Coffee. i reflexively did my "oh face"...
I, too have written on those comment cards, but nothing like that!
Maybe like, "Next time, could you speed up the service?"
However, I do agree that this person should stay away from the cafe for a while and 'brown bag' it!
@Needing more Coffee....I've heard of "going postal", but--going pepperoni?
Who would lose it first--the cook who is being harassed about pepperoni clumps, or the person for whom said clumps are the very last straw?
Vegetarians never have "pepperoni issues"...
How come the spam protection question changed between the time I typed in the answer and the time it posted??? I read "how much is 5 times 5"--type in 25, get error message, and NOW it says, "how much is 4 times 7". WTH?
O Geeez... Where in Eagan?? Sounds like dey were monkeyin' around down dar to the cafeteria.
Stay warm in the frozen Nort'!!!
@orinoco womble-- woops! I was just making swapping in a fresh batch of spam protection questions as you were typing... sorry about that.
And I enlarged the size of this comment box, so you shouldn't have to scroll quite so much. Hope that makes things a little easier for you all.
Many more improvements on their way! Still open for suggestions. You've had a night to sleep on it, what've you got today?
spell palindrome backwards.. Gotta Love It!!
I don't even understand what the guy is asking. He says: Can you please spread out the pepperoni in the calzone's, but then he doesn't say the calzone's what. The calzone's crust? The calzone's cheese? What is it that the calzone is in possession of that he wants the pepperoni to be spread out more in? Very strange.
pocket, what he has done is pluaralize with an apostrophe, which is a very ugly and horrible contemporary orthographic disease. he has made the word possessive when he really wanted to make it plural. people tend to do this especially with borrowed words (such as calzone) and also words that end in vowels. for example, it is not uncommon to see people write things like "there will be two duets and two solo's at the recital" and things like that. it's a terrible condition!
I'm allergic to something in pepperoni. I get really sick when I eat it. Just thought you all would find that interesting.
Allergic to pepperoni? That's the saddest thing I've heard all day. I wonder if there is a series of allergy shots for pepperoni? I sure would hope so.
and some people will try to weasel out of it by claiming it's a contraction. a co-worker once wrote "hippo's" instead of "hippos" and then claimed that "hippo's" is actually correct because the full word is hippopotamuses so the apostrophe represents the missing part of the word. This of course is ridiculous first of all because the correct plurarl of hippopotamus is hippopotami anyway. But even if it weren't, the contraction argument is bunk. You can't tell me that homo's is the correct pluralization of homo because it is a contraction of homosexuals. It would be homos. Dummy.
ugh, i know! i also hate when people pluralize with an apostrophe. some people like to pretend that this is the correct way to pluralize acronyms, too. i hate seeing VCR's and CD's instead of the correct VCRs and CDs. or when people say they get straight A's. well, if you are writing A's instead of the correct As, then i don't see who would have given you an A in spelling!!!!!!!!
I love the way people justify their spelling mistakes. I once told a woman at a shoe store that she had spelled 'sandales' wrong, and she told me it was french. Clover....
darn it, i was hoping to get one of the new spam questions.... darn old jack and jill...
Needing more coffee- I have a spare fax machine if you want to take your agression out....
I think no matter how hard you try to separate the pepperoni, when it cooks it just...slides around in there. You know, like when you get a large pie, extra cheese, pepperoni, and the driver lets it slide around in the truck. By the time it coagulates, everything is slopped together...
Seeing that movie Road Trip did it for me- just the thought of my toast down some gross man's pants- ANY man's pants for that matter makes me gag.
Wow, that's so weird, that just happened to me today! A woman in the design department tried to justify having typed "photo's" instead of "photos" because she claims it is a contraction of "photographs." Um, no. If you mean photographs, type photographs. If you are going to shorten the word to photo, then type photos for the plural.
Needing- You are hysterical. I try to be Milton at least 5 minutes a day as I work in a boring office environment. Thanks*
Hungover, we're drinkers in these parts. We know how to fix hangovers. Try Smarties. The real ones not the chocolate kind. Or maybe a calzone would help, too.
:-)
Hungover: I do that too, but no one gets it. No one here has seen the movie so they think I'm just being strange. Which I suppose I am...
BTW: I have found that sitting under a warm shower helps hangovers.
Catyia: Yes please!
all of the symptoms of a hangover are a result of dehydration. Drink two big glasses of water before you go to bed, you'll feel lots better. Keep drinking water the next day (and NO TYLENOL, greatly increases the damage to your liver. I REPEAT, NO TYLENOL)
I thought I was the only person who had this problem. At a local resteraunt by work they make very popular calzones and I never order them anymore becasue they put too much meat. And I am a serious meat-a-saurus so that is really saying something.
Hooray to the calzone avenger! They did a favor to mankind by spending the 60 unrecoverable heartbeats it took to write this request!
Huh? Sorry for the triple post... that was the result of one click. Maybe my company's proxy server really liked what I wrote?!
CuriousKat in Wisconsin, you're so clever. NOT! Thanks Mona for the warning, I love that you're a nurse. That was my major the first time around, now it's History/Poly-Sci. Thus, it George III. Bitch.
SUGGESTION IN DIGESTION. WTF!
Peppster.. why can't you just be one way, all the time. Either be insulting/annoying, or clever and friendly. Are you calling me a bitch? or saying bitch about a spam question? You'll never find me being a history or poly sci major.
I always found the best thing for a hangover was drinking heavily the night before.
- needin' more coffee... I think I love you!
- orinco, thank god I'll never have those aformentioned "pepperoni issues!" Phew!
- CuriousKat I'll have to pick up some smarties ASAP, there's a big beer and barleywine festival this weekend!
yay.
Needing, I have problems with people not getting what I'm talking about on a daily basis. Oh, well.
BTW everyone, there is an OUTSTANDING Italian resturaunt in my town and since I was 4 hrs late for work (because of the heavy drinking last night...) I stopped and bought everyone calzones before I even read this found (took). Mine was delicious.
Needing, Mona, Turbo, Curious- Thanks for the advice.
I've had 10 glasses of water literally...
@Lady Brandy: You may indeed be allergic to paprika, which is used in pepperoni and other red sausages. I buy paprika in bulk and if I get the spicy kind it will make me break out in an itchy rash.
@Sarasara: Love makes me all warm inside! I reciprocate!
Hungover, I know where you're coming from. (The not being understood, not the hangover. Although I have been there too... Oog.)
We're drinkers here. We're professionals. We know the best cure for a hangover is more of the stuff that caused it. Yep, a little hair of the dog but not literally. After all, you can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. Cheers!
I DO NOT TYPE IN ACRONYMS
Why didn't he just go for the sausage calzone instead. And everyone is right; I have worked in foodservice and you should never, EVER talk bad about the food. It is always possible to make it worse.
Baby Basil.... maybe. Thanks. I'll look into it.
I like the Bunnee tattoo!
Calzone is Italian for "pants". Clumped or spread out, Luigi can keep his pepperoni next to his meatballs. I'm going out for seafood. Not at a cafeteria.
Lance, maybe your new moniker should be 'Lance Calzones'. Ciao, caro!
Lance Calzones, in the Zone...
Lance, you're rude, crude, and obnoxious!
I like that!
Grazie, donne belle!
-Lanzo Calzones nella zona
Mona, to your question “why can't you just be one way, all the time?” Because it's not always me, there are 3-5 different peppers posting at any given time. I mean different individuals not personalities.
@Lil ol' Me: Ooohh, you ARE naughty--but I like it!
and if you got that reference you too listen to historical BBC comedy on BBC 7. ;)
well, which is the real one? the nice one, the goofy one or the a-hole?
It seems to me that making calzones for a cafeteria would be an excessive waste of time when there are 5 gallon cans of green beens to open and pour in a big pan, for example. I'm guessing the calzones are frozen and the staff is being sarcastic...which is what I would have done. Besides, even if you were to make a calzone, isn't it really just a small pizza that's folded over? If so, then there's really no controlling where the pepperoni goes.
Hungover, my cure for not hangovers is to not sleep and keep drinking, only slower and in smaller quantities. Eventually, you will even out and be good as new by 5pm the following day. Or, drink a glass of water between each drink.
It's been so long since I've posted here, I almost forgot what "5 times 7 is".
@Lady Brandy
Hot Pepperoni Injections. Maybe you can get SALT to give it to you.
I HATE when the pepperoni is all clumped together! But I get tomato and mushroom calzones anyway. This only happens when, by "Tomato and mushroom calzone with extra marinara on the side" they think I mean "Just pepperoni. Lots and lots of pepperoni. Nothing but pepperoni".
I, too, am allergic to pepperoni. I used to love it and ate it quite frequently. Now, I get sick when I smell it and have to wear gloves when handling it (making pizzas for family or guests at home). People have made fun of me but I've run out of rooms when someone brought a pizza into a house that had pepperoni on it. Many have said, why not just take it off the pizza? The oils left over from where the pepperoni was is still on the pizza and I've tried to eat it, but get very ill. This is not a joke to those of us that actually loved pepperoni but can no longer eat it. I've tried to find out what is in pepperoni that differs so greatly from other products like beef summer sausage, etc. (which I have no problems with) but to no avail. Anyone know?
Would you guys please check out these websites for your apostrophe and spelling issues.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A790175
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar
http://www.write101.com/sample.htm
I am allergic to pepperoni myself. I break out in hives if someone touches the pizza then me. I also have to run out of the room when people eat it near me. I use paprika alot in cooking and it never bothers me. Maybe because I gave up meat for 7 years I developed it. But now I'm too nervous to try any other sausages. My throat started swelling last time I ate a pizza after I picked the pepperonis off. I even have to ask the subway guys to change gloves before making my tuna sandwich to avoid break out.