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September 17, 2007 |
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Notice
FOUND by Jennifer Crighton
in Calgary, Alberta
This was posted around my neighborhood last fall. My question is, why go to all the trouble of printing and posting the notices and then say you are not going to do anything about it?
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I guess GK figures s/he has done enough to protect the neighborhood from tame, rabid coyotes. (I'm glad it no longer fears for humans. I Still fear for us.)
Signed,
Road Runner
My question is what is with the font decrease? Ehh, rabies not important enough for that huge font. Perhaps she/he's a little embarrassed about not doing anything and is just giving the eyes time to adjust to the smallest font so it doesn't seem out of place?
thank you for the laugh unworthy... You are worthy
You shouldn't have to worry about the coyote, unless it starts walking upright and has an obsession with running birds.
agreed with the decreasing font. "Notice" is apparently more important than "incipient rabies." This too-tame coyote has caused GK enough trouble... he's through
Wow, GK could take the time to print these up and post them everywhere, when it would have taken 2 minutes to pick up the phone and call animal control. Hmmm, someone forgot their smart pills that day.
Anyone else read, "and salvation is another" at first glance?
When I first read it I figured GK was being sarcastic, is this not the case? Maybe he was having a pretty pissy day and wanted a laugh by posting such posters? Ha, the cynic in me would have probably left me with rabies!
Perhaps GK has reason to fear a personal run-in with the health authorities?
Dys, hopefully, salvation is always another possibility.
If GK had the same experience I did with a foaming-at-the-mouth animal, he knows that the more people who call, the better chance Animal Control <i>might</i> take action. Emphasis on the word might. I think GK was looking for backup, not abdicating his own responsibility.
Thank you, unworthy, you made me laugh.
I like the font decrease, from screaming to subscript. Tiny rabies, but a damn huge NOTICE.
He probably saw someone's dog and panicked.I picture an older man who spends his time walking the property looking for annoying branches to trim.
Isn't the only way to check for rabies to kill something and test their brain?
If he is not trained to deal with coyotes, and doesn't have the equipment to trap him, then I don't blame him for letting someone else take over!!!!
He doesn't wanna get rabies, give him a break.
I think all the local rabbits and squirrels got together and paid GK off to write this note to rid the neighborhood of the Coyote.
Since he was paid in nuts and berries, plus he doesn’t have a problem with the Coyote personally, this is all he’s going to do unless they come up with some CASH!
Thanks for the starter-laugh, Unworthy. Laughing is almost as good as the first cuppa'joe.
Perhaps the descending font size was to keep the message printable on a single sheet of paper? Though it does seem rather wimpy of GK to absolve him-/herself of responsibility in the final 6 pt line.
Hmmm...when you get coyotes in an area small animals (cats, dogs, chickens etc) start disappearing. Perhaps GK has nefarious plans for the small furry critters and is trying to shift the blame over to a non-existant canine?
I love how by posting this notice GK absolves himself of any responsibility. And not only that, but he says so. Sort of like "YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING (but I'm not going to)"
What I want to know is if he saw a coyote within a 100 meters of where he posted the sign, why did he go back there?? I would have stayed as far away as I could, never mind going home and printing off a sign and coming back.
Poor thing. I am sure that it was someones German Shepard.
Unworthy wins and IS Oh-so-worthy.
'Nuff Said.
I picture a senile old geezer that couldn't catch him anyway...probably was someones pet. GK was just trying to start some shit in the neighborhood.
I am really suprised no one has chimed in yet that the docile coyote could have mauled several small children, a little old lady, a woman carrying groceries and landscaper all because Jennifer STOLE THIS SIGN OFF THE POST!!!!! Now someone is going to get "incipient rabies salvation", which is quite painful and takes, like, fifty-twelve shots to get rid of. I hope you're happy, Jennifer....baby killer.
so this coyote has lost its fear FOR humans? not OF humans? fear for us, coyote, for we are being led by an idiot!
try the ACME boulder prop with string, or the anvil with catapult. though intended for foul it often backfires.
Gigi,I did not know comments were a contest or I would've put on my competition wit.(Not meant to detract from the fact that Unworthy is very clever!)
It's annoying when people say "'nuff said",I don't know why.
The notice does seem to be all backwards.If gk was going to use 1/4 of the page with one word, why not COYOTE!?
Explaination of font size.
The writer of this note is obviously an eye doctor.
Courtney, I think you're right.
Unworthy, you win the comments competition.
hands down (your skirt) lol.....
Great explanation, Courtney. Maybe the doctor has a huge stockpile of free sample eyeglasses, and intends to go rushing out of his house to foist them upon anyone who leans in close to read the last line.
Snarf, thank you for your sage (and hilarious) advice.
I agree that "'nuff said" is an annoying expression, along with "just sayin'"
FOUND guys, I heard from my friend Liz that you'll be in New Haven this Saturday. I've got a couple finds for you that my procrastinating ass keeps neglecting to send in.
Okay, I'm done. For now, anyway.
Unworthy, that's great.
Completely off the subject, does anyone know if there is a cheezeburger site for dogs, I did enjoy the cats, but I LOVE dogs. Thanks.
There's these kids in the neighborhood. They feed the coyote, play with it, etc. GK told the kids to stop feeding the coyote, they told her to fuck off. She called animal control, they gave her the bureaucratic runaround. She warned the kid's parents, they snapped at her about minding her own business and raising her own kids and getting the fuck out of their yard because, well they live in a suburb and in the suburbs you simply do not talk to your neighbors.
GK getting nothing but grief and feeling like a weird cross between chicken little, the boy who cried wolf and the little red hen, she decided to made these notes and posted them. She used the small font sizes so people won't actually read them but when one of the kids is mauled she can say, "i warned you, it's even in writing. Who is responsible for this dead child? Who? EVERYONE BUT ME, THAT'S WHO!"
Maybe GK doesn't live in the area and is leaving this notice for the people who may see the troublesome critter in the future -- since GK will be far away by then.
GK is the grouchy neighbor that is just doing as he's told to do, as he's the lead of the neighbor hood watch of the month.
He's just letting everyone know he did his part. The signs posted are proof and therefore won't be fined for not doing his fair share of watching out for the neighbors. However, he forgot that signs posted up without counsel permission are an automatic call for a fine.
Damned if you do, Damned if you don't
In my county we had a lot of rabid coyotes’, so to control them, the county put out a bounty. If you brought in their ears to the local feed store you would get 50 dollars. However, some people started bringing in german shepherd ears, so they stopped. Beep Beep… Unworthy LOL! I expected that from Tucker.
Dys, I read the same thing - salvation instead of salivation.
Suzie, that is really disturbing. Mutilating animals is really sick - Alive or dead. I'm glad they haven't done that where I live yet.
We have coyote problems, too. It is because of the explosive population growth. We're encroaching on their habitat. However, the coyotes have adapted rather well. Apparently, they've given up on roadrunners and are going with the more readily available garbage and dead bodies.
OMG, Mona, a coyote ate my kitten too, just last week. That is why we hunt them around here, they are also very bad for people who raise livestock. They will kill a baby calf in a minute.
I have had more trouble with wild packs of dogs than coyotes. Growing up, my neighbors had pitbulls that they let run loose. I have been chased into my house many many times. Also, those wild dogs have attacked more pets and children than coyotes. We even had bobcats and bears where I grew up and those dog packs were the most agressive predators of all.
we have such bad coyote problems in the middle of bum fuck Idaho my brother was eaten by one during the night. it was the scariest moment of my life. i will never forget that. so catch this beast and kill it before it eats anyone else!
"A dingo ate my baby!!!"
First one to name the movie without googling is a winner in my book (which is due out Srping of 2008).
A Cry in the Dark!
funny, i haven't lost my fear of humans!
Alai,
I agree with about your experiences with feral dogs. When I was growing up, the dogs in the neighborhood became feral and chase after anybody who's walking around. It got so bad, my dad had a compound bow and use a blunt arrows to shoot at them to keep them away from the front door. It worked very well! This was in a semi-rural area with large front yard in the late '70s.
Turbo--
I don't know the movie, but I do know that the "Buffy" theme song was performed by the band "Dingoes Ate My Babies." Connection?
Naked.
We've got your back. We live in B*& F*^# Manitoba and we have a problem with cougars - not just in bars. So, uh, if we take it out, what do we get for our trouble? Hoping you're keeping warm and staying out of school hallways ...
Turbo, I only know that reference from drunk Elaine on Jerry Seinfeld's show, and I didn't get it then....
Cute! (and yes, I read that as 'salvation' too.)
Quigley down under
the coyote is a shamanistic shape changing animal. i lived in a small room with one for a week and it taught me much about your country.
you should not kill it and cut off it's ears!
I want to say Crocodile Dundee, but I'm not really sure.
dude... its from that movie with meryl streep... but im honest and can say i dont know the name of the movie without googling it
It's Cry in the Dark! I am sure of it. The log lady got the actress right.
C'mon, Turbo! What's the name of the movie?
i was raised by coyotes
We have coyotes running around in our neighborhood
Dave
www.davescomputerserv.com
"Cotton in Dixieland" got the answer correct. "A Cry in the Dark".
I will also admit my own ignorance. AFTER I posted the question, thinking it was most certainly from either "Suburbia" or "Dogs in Space", I can find no reference to either movie. All I find is references to A Cry in the Dark, Seinfeld and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Now, I want to rent the movies I thought were right because I MUST KNOW.
I'll be at the bar.......sulking. Who's coming? I'll buy.
Log Lady, I have to say your character is one of my favorite from that series. It's too bad it was taken off the air. I wish that Lynch would just finish it.
And before anyone gets pissy - I know I'm off subject and I don't care.
I think we should be able to talk to each other AND talk about the Find. This is a quirky, disfunctional, ecclective sort of community, after all.
I'll have a Jack and Coke.
I'll get the 2nd round, Turbo.
YEAH!! I knew the movie title...if you look directly under Turbo's post about the dingos, I replied correctly. NOBODY seemed to notice!! I LOVE that movie, and all those hokie fake Australian accents. It's not really a movie about the baby getting eaten at all -- it's a movie about the power of the media. It's very deep and thought provoking on many levels!
Turbo, if you truly have a book coming out, I am the rightful winner of a copy! Can I get it autographed?
But Turbo, if your buying at the bar, I'll take a Long Island Iced Tea instead!
What a man! You're on Turbo. Loser, I'll catch the third then... since we're all being so generous.
Turbo, "Suburbia" was the first thing that popped into my mind,just because of that opening scene when the ridiculously fake-looking baby gets mauled by the wild dogs. That thing was so fake it didn't even look like a real doll, let alone a real baby. It was like artificially flavored powdered imitation doll made from concentrate or something.
I think the font conspiracy boils down to GK wanting to make an easily identifiable notice. Only problem being that they didn't consider that the original size would not fit on one page and instead of having a 3 page notice they got lazy and just kept making the font smaller and smaller.
I love that last line. They want to help but not have to actually do any real work.
The person who left the notice has probably called animal control so many times and got no help s/he is giving up on doing the dirty work her/his self.
Hey Ya'll - You have a good night, ya hear!
courtny i love the movie Quigley down under such a good movie it totally fits in with this find and Blow N you were raised by coyotes i highly doubt that! maybe you should see someone talk to someone about your problems it might help.
i dig how the type starts REALLY HUGE, then gets smaller as it goes on, until you almost can't read it. kinda like an old-timey newspaper. why didn't the person just call animal control themselves? der!
Brilliant, Unworthy!
Turbo, make mine a Jack and 'zac with a side of 'luudes. And one for the lady, please.
A rabid tea-cup poodle ate my pet water buffalo.
Sometime last year, a wolf (or coyote) wandered into a Subway (or Quiznos) in downtown Chicago. It lay down by the soda fountain and chilled until animal rescue came. He stayed away from the customers and they stayed away from him. I suppose he had lost his fear of humans too.
Babies ate my dingo. Dingo pretty. Coyote...
there was a coyote lounging in my front yard the other morning, and only decided to get up and lope lazily away once i'd gotten within four or five feet of him. looks like it's an epidemic.
Turbo, I will take a Virgin Pina Colada for myself and Virgin Daquiri for my Significant Other. Cotton, I am jealous of you! I tried so hard to think of the movie, but when you said it I knew you had to be right, so I googled it. Turbo, pay up!
SALT is still probably here, just under a new alias. In that case... I LOVE YOU SALT!
This is a good find! now i'm gonna read the comments.
Cotton, that's funny! Going back to read more comments now.
I agree with Gigi and everyone else who said Unworthy is worthy. Oui! Elle est worthy! Also very funny!
Hey Boo, you can see that video on Youtube. It was a coyote and it laid down in the Snapple cooler.Check it out, he didn't lose his fear, he was scared as hell.
I agree with jospeh beuys in i like america and america likes me.
Coyotes are magical. One time I saw a mom with pups, while riding my bike at the resort in Sun River, Oregon. The pups' ears were GIGANTIC.
....going back to read more comments now ....
i remember from sometime in my past, in the albumn liner notes of some CD from some band there's a picture of the Coyote curled up on the back seat of a bus or subway and a clipping from the news report about it.
I'm thinking it might be GSYBE! but i bet it turns out to be something embarassing, like Pearl Jam.
ok, fist of all Turbo i only took the sign because there was more than one... so i diddnt kill any babies,
secondly i live on the edge of a hill that does have cyotes, i hear them howl at night, they are pests that occasionally eat pets etc. anf the city has warning signs about them allready posted in the area.
i kindof like the idea that in this big city there are still wild animals... they have never been a problem to me personally so far, the sign was in the same place that a lot of people walk thier very friendly dogs, the same hill that the cyotes hang out on at night...
what gets my goat about this particulaire find ( one of the favorites in my collection) is that the message escalates as the font decreases, and that someone would go to all that trouble to print it and then actually write on it that they wont take any further action, i try to imagine which of the people i see regularily walking in the area actually went to the trouble of printing such an obsurd note
also, if anyone likes Edward Gorey there is an amazing little album done by the Tiger Lililes With the Help of Cronos Quartet which puts a number of his stories very entertaingly to music,,
The Besotted Mother Of Florabelle
tells the story of a doteing mother who dresses her little girl entirely in white bunny fur only to have the wee girl ripped to pieces by a pack of wild dogs...
so if your into that kind of thing.... i highly suggest everything the Tiger Lilies have done
I'm surprised no one mentioned the comment on hydrophobia... why does rabies have the same name as the fear of water?
Dear Jennifer,
Your grammar and spelling are atrocious. Thanks for the find, though.
Love, Scout
Jennifer. I've got this documentary about a band called Tiger Lily that turned Shock Headed Peter and such into songs. Have they evolved into the tigerlillies doing Edward Gory? if so that's awesome. Do they still do the childsize drumkit and falsetto voice?
josie- i'm guessing testing for hydrophobia is a way to test for rabies that doesn't involve cutting up the animal's brains. maybe it's a misspelling of some word that means excessive drooling.
i think hydrophobia is related because with rabies they can't drink or swallow or something...
yes well we can't all be perfect.
Scout, i actually just have lots of issues with keyboards and dyslexia, now i'm all self conscious.. ..
REx, if you are interested the name of the Album is The Gorey End.... There is a really awesome story in the liner about how the Tiger Lilies ended up doing the Collaboration with Edward Gorey i think it was a very special project on their part toy drums and falsetto- yes
This notice is in a strangely formal old-fashioned font (anyone know what it is?).
Reminded me of
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/400
"I myself..." Who else would "I" be?
Aww, I'll keep the poor coyote! =[
Reminds me of this on time I was visiting family in Arkansas and saw what I swore looked like a hyena running along the side of the road. If it wasn't some kind of wolf/coyote of some sort, then it was a VERY large very mangy and scrawny looking dog!
jennifer, do you live in Rosedale? I've lived there for 20 years and walk my dog every day on McHugh bluff above downtown. i never saw these signs but i remember the coyote incidents last fall. my dog was once chased by coytes while snuffling around in the bushes, but was far too quick. i love how you can find coyotes, porcupines, and the odd lost deer minutes from dowtown!
Seriously? No one else but Josie noticed the hydrophobia? So it lost its fear of humans, and gained one of water? Maybe that's why it's in the city, so it doesn't have to be near the rivers.