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May 06, 2008 |
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Get Your Life to Get There
FOUND by Alissa Nelson
in St. Louis, Missouri
Who says that picking up trash around the neighborhood doesn't pay off? One 30-gallon bag and three blocks later, I had a rather entertaining read.
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Put Your Poo Hats... January 25, 2004 |
Awesome Party May 27, 2006 |
Someone Who Hates... August 11, 2005 |
Man and Mule March 02, 2003 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I predict a very short, very hard life for the writer of this note.
Probably in politics.
'My aunt is mad at you'...
We are not getting marred. Whew! :o)
Hahaha based on spelling and drama... sounds like an elementary school-aged note. Oh to be young again...
I don't know, Josie...I know 20-somethings that write like that. (It seems to be the dumbest ones who have that kind of "drama" in their lives.)
I'm hoping this is someone for whom English is a second language. It seems to have 'learnig english' mistakes, rather than 'crap at english' mistakes.
I'm thinking that maybe what was crossed out before 'aunt' was written in was a foreign word for aunt. Although it looks like it may have been 'wife'- which is weird...unless the writer is, again, foreign and mixing up their female relationship titles. But, man, you really have to mess up to get someone AND their aunt mad at you!
Is it cruel to hope that whoever this illiterate individual is, she does not work thing out, that indeed, her relship, freindship, is at an end and that most of all, she does not get marred? Really, you can only think of that Supreme Court Justice's insensitive (but perhaps wise) remark that "three generations of idiots are enough."
btw, I've registered to save typing...yay me!
And I'm surer than ever that this is a non-English native speaker. The sentence 'Are relship is at the end' is not illiteracy, it's incomplete learning. Particularly choosing to use 'the' rather than 'an', which has the logic of the english learner about it - i.e. more logic than the grammatically correct version.
I thought the crossed out word was "uncle." I think that still fits with apparently's concept of an English learner, though. Confusing the male/female pairs.
I hope a second language mistake or even an elementary school kid, cause otherwise this is sad.....relship, freindship.
I have to go for now, but I'll be back with more engrish trashing.
Middle school, semiliterate. The "Waz up" gives it away.
I'm going with Farmer. In middle school every note I ever got started with "Waz up" and then said "Not much here". Or "NMH". And then preceded to tell me everything that waz going on there, just like this one. And it seems that there waz a lot going on there indeed.
I think the word crossed out under "aunt" is "whole." Like the writer was going to write "My whole family is mad at you" and then realized that, actually, it's just Aunt Rita.
I am interested to know what part of St. Louis this was found in... I would almost bet money this note is not from a native English speaker but an ESL or ELL person. Maybe even of an adolescent age...
The "Waz up" and "Not much here" could easily have been picked up language from receiving and sending many more previous notes. It's pretty simple lingo that would be rather easy to learn. And does tend to point to a middle school or even high school aged writer (how many notes did I start this exact same way... though usually a varying spelling than "Waz").
I love that «not much is up» except for the fact that they're not getting married after all
The crossed out word looks like "uncle". He's probably not scary enough so they changed it to "aunt". I know my aunts are much scarier than my uncles, so I'd try to intimidate someone with my aunt too. And they're always mad at someone.
What are the chances this was someone's 'note to self' written either after or before a phone call? Or possibly even transcribed from a text message conversation?
"I know more than you think I know [just not in the areas of spelling and grammar]."
I don't think this person is stupid; I second the ESL theory. I'd imagine my Spanish sounds rather like that to native ears...
¡Nuestras relaciones son terminadas! ¡No casamos!
Ajajaja...
Waz up is a pretty friendly way to start out a note only to turn around and then say I'm mad at you and we can't be friends/roommates/husband and wife no mo. Oh, and my aunt is mad at you too.
Ha ha Librarian (not in the areas of spelling and grammar)
I think this person shall grow up to be an expert interrogator. They have already mastered the "You don't know how much I know
" tactic.Also the first time I have seen "together" substituted with "to get there".
I also know plenty of adults who write like this, I am not an English Major, but basic spelling (not typos) are a must!! I can overlook misplaced commas and LOTS of other errors, but people..please. I wouldn't have wanted to be "marred" or have a "relship" with the writer after reading a letter like that! Ha!! And I totally agree with Sometimes In Sipid (Ha) that it seems the dumbest ones have that type of drama.
I think that this note was written by someone not native in the English language. I consider myself to be quite good at English as a second language (I don't say this to brag or anything!), but some of my friends and classmates at secondary school are not so good at English and I notice that they make some of the same kind of mistakes as the writer of this note makes.
I'm from Holland/the Netherlands btw.
Why would you start a breakup note with "waz up", then say "not much here," then go on to tell them what is up, and that there is lots going on. The paradoxes in this note make me laugh.
The poor girl is ending her engagement via a Dear John letter? How sad. At least she and her aunt can eat icecream together and complain about what a jerk he was.
I'm not sure about the ESL... I know lots of adults who talk/write like this. They just never learned properly.
More evidence that a forced sterilization program wouldn't be all bad.
Definitely ESL. The use of the infinitive "to tell" instead of the imperative "tell" is a big clue. That is not a common mistake for a native speaker with just bad grammar skills. I agree with Schneh, it's like a mistake a non-native Spanish speaker might make in Spanish -"decir la verdad" instead of "digame!"
Looks like they're gonna have to cancel that tattoo appointment.
Eline, as someone whose first language is English, I can tell you that most of the people I met in Amsterdam spoke better English than a lot of native-English-speaking Americans.
@ Flargy: Yes, generally, the Dutch speak English quite well, but I've learned that there are still quite a few people that can't say more than: 'my name is *insert name*' and 'how are you'.
Especially the younger generation (my generation, I just turned 18), speaks good English, I 'blame' it on television and music. Almost every program on tv is in English (with subtitles though), and most songs, even the ones that Dutch artists make, are in English. Besides that, Dutch isn't spoken by many around the world and if you want to go somewhere where you can actually get a tan in the summer (Holland is rainy), you need to speak a second language. And that language is English, because it's spoken by more people than, say, French or German.
But, there are exceptions. One of my friends/co workers (after school job in the supermarket), finds English a very difficult language and whenever she gets a English customer, she calls someone else to help her because she just doesn't understand them. But she's fluent in French.
My favorite part: I have to go for now.
For now?
You are not welcome to live with me. We're not getting married (or marred, same difference). Our relationship is at an end.
I have to go... for now?!
It instantly brought to mind http://foundmagazine.com/find/180
This find.. hey what's new? Nothing here, except for a whole list of life altering stuff...
Interestingly, (or not.) I looked up the above-referenced Find, and it has 27 comments. came back here to post this, this find had 27 comments.
A Freind is a Freind til the ind....and this is clearly the ind....
"If you wont to work thing out, you need to get your life to get there" -I'm guessing an Asian-American immigrant (possibly Vietnamese). In high school, I had a Vietnamese friend who wrote notes like this.
"You need to get your life to get there" actually makes perfect sense. Wisdom comes from the most unlikely sources.
Struck me as not a girl or a foreigner or an ESN person, just a would-be cool (black?) guy off the streets who isn't used to writing things down.
Maybe.
Meanwhile I think I wont to work thing out. I have to go for now.
The finder's story scares me.
I love how he HAD to start the note w/ waz up, and then jump into I'm mad at you. I don't need to point out EVERY grammatical and spelling mistakes but RELSHIP? At least sound it out, dude.
It kind of looks like he wrote my wife is mad at you and then crossed it off and wrote aunt. Did he lie to his girl on the side and tell her that woman always at his house is his aunt?
Oh.. see, now this is making since. She's not ucome (welcome?) to live w/ him b/c it was HER idea and he doesn't know how to say no. Really it's b/c his wife already lives w/ him. So he's got to think fast and start a fight. And what better way to do that than a note that says the relationship is over, you aren't getting married, the friendship is over, AND his aunt is mad at her? He's got all his bases covered.
this perplexes me.
i have never understood the common letter-opening phrase "wat's up. nothing much here."
really? that can't be true.
the content of this letter is far more mature than the grammar and spelling, unless this is a letter written by someone younger who is "playing pretend"?
@christina - i just assumed a girl had written this. i guess the waz up should have given it away though... this changes everything.
Before magnifying this I automatically read this as "My cunt is mad at you to". I thought uh-oh, when your cunt is mad at someone the relship is definitely over!
haha I should have written "sense" but I wrote since. DERRR.
@tiffany - I thought it was a guy right away b/c of the handwriting and I've yet to know a girl w/ the bravery to cut off ties w/ a guy like this. We all SWEAR we will, but never have the guts to follow through.
@Effie - your comment is really funny, thanks!
I think that this is one of those Middle School assignments where the teacher asks you to translate Shakespeare's [or some other "incomprehensible" writer's] language into modern English. That would explain the discrepancy between the content and the language. My Shakespeare knowledge isn't quite impressive enough to be able to tell which speech this is, though. Any ideas?
Marta, that's a brilliant thought.
Try this for size:
HAMLET
"If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell."
Not quite right, I know, but it's a start. Trying to think of a Shakespearean character with an aunt??
Johnathan:
Tybalt in Romeo & Juliet is Juliet's cousin, making Lady Capulet mother his aunt. Not that they have much of a relship...
I like how the "W" looks like an ass.
(Kinda reminds me of another "W")
UGH! All this "slang" is making me sick!
Sorry, but, if I had received a letter written in this manner, it would be in the garbage.
I wouldn't even date someone like this, never mind marry them!
Winston, I'm thinking a black person wrote this.
first of all.. are we aware of the racist implications involved in deciding the ethnicity of the author. Let's just stick with they aren't proficient with the English language, but no part of this letter indicates a specific cultural vernacular. When learning to write in French I was taught common casual greetings to use so that i would seem less American. Unfortunately, "waz up" can be employed to seem more American.
Anyway, as an only child, reluctant to share, I've long feared "together" as some sort of trick.. to get her, though, not there.
Let's do it to get her!
Afraid of aunts.
Give me a break...I only mention one particular culture because of fond memories of friends who were recent Vietnamese immigrants. In High School we had a large group of Vietnamese-Americans whose parents recently immigrated to the states. So I made friends with a good portion of them becuz let's face it...they were pretty awesome friends with a good sense of humor. They also weren't easily offended. This note only reminded me of them. I would think that this note conveys an inside joke between two people and has nothing to do with marriage or friendship. I could imagine it coming from one of my closest friends, T, who had a long standing joke with another one of my other vietnamese friends...she often would say that their parents were trying to arrange a marriage between the two of them. She would always tell him that she didn't want to marry his stupid ass and he would retort back, come on...don't you want to marry a fine stud like myself or something along that line.
I'm actually crying for the pain that was caused to the pen.
how did you all figure it says 'my aunt is mad at you'? Even after enlarging the whole thing, it clearly says 'My Hunt is mad at you'. Not that this explains anything...
Anyways, I actually think most of it is sort of reported speech: The (slightly inept) writer is mad at the other person for finally telling the 'true story' (as it reads: 'I am mad at you. to tell me the true story.' It so makes sense!), NAMELY that their friendship is over, their marriage is not going to happen and the person won't even come live with the writer.
The thing about the writer even knowing more than the other person thinks he/she does is just adding an extra threat here.
"You need to get your life to get there" is so brilliant, I can't even find words for it. I'm thinking it's not a misspelling of 'together' but the writer saying that the other person will need all his life to get there, namely to work things out.
Still being mystified about the 'Hunt' that is also mad at him/her. Ideas there?
This same thing happened to me... I think I was in 5th grade. I guess if he want's to work it out... they may still get marred.
Well, not sure at all how old/young the writer might be but I am sure the world is better off that these two will not be married and so are less likely to reproduce.
"A black person wrote this"?
What the...?
I'm a black female. I teach English (6 years now, thank you) and am compensated quite well to do so.
To imply that poor grammar/spelling/punctuation is associated with black people is the most obtuse statement one could say. I'm embarrased for you...