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May 09, 2008 |
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Dishes
FOUND by Anthony Porter
in Columbus, Ohio
Found this in a bunch of gravel while walking around my neighborhood.
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Ted and Allyssa... November 30, 2007 |
The Point + Purpose January 23, 2007 |
Fags Fax September 18, 2006 |
It's Not Fair March 07, 2004 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
+ You did it! Congrats to our FOUND friends involved in the Best Picture of 2009, The Hurt Locker!
+ FOUND #7 coverboy Willis Earl Beal, now in t-shirt form!
He probably won't. Although, to be fair, I'm bitter because my other female roommate and I spent three hours cleaning today. When our guy roommate finally came out of his room at 4pm, he said, "Looks nice out here" and proceeded to make a complete mess of things in like .5 seconds. If I wasn't moving out in a week, I think my head would explode.
The pizza place can be expecting a call.
condition of the note might mean john said, "fuck you bitch!"
I'm not sensing any tension here. Nope. None.
If this was my note to John (and i really am with a wonderful man named John, however my name is not Becky) the above comments would be completely incorrect.
I think John would very much appreciate that there was food on the stove when he got home...turning on the burner and stirring a little is pretty simple...and even if he didn't particularly feel like washing dishes, doing a few wouldn't kill him. If he was smart he would realize how happy it would make Becky when she returned. (As a side note, my John won't even LET me do the dishes 99% of the time...i told you he's wonderful!)
This is a bit ironic for me because my sisters name is Becky and my nephews names is Johnathan
I wonder what the notes from Monday and Tuesday look like. Does John get a day off? Does Becky get a day off?
I'll bet Friday's looks like this: -Fri-
John-
Dirty Laundry in the Washer.
Could you do some ironing, please?
Becky
Notice the absence of "Love"...
I'm off to scrub the kitchen floor.
Hamburger Helper? You expect me to do the freakin dishes in exchange for Hamburger *HELPER*? No steak, smothered in mushrooms & onions? You gotta be kidding me. Whaddya think I am, some kinda trained dog?
She might have signed the note "Dr. Becky Pavlov"
What the hell is hamburger helper? I thought it was something you added to mince meat to help it stretch a bit further. Can you eat it on its own???? If I was John, I wouldnt go near it.
But then again, she did "cook" so I guess he really should do some of the dishes.
@Cookie ... didn't you see the movie "National Lampoon's Family Vacation"? The goofy relatives of Chevy Chase's family prepare a meal for them as they're on their way across country and the goofy dad remarks on the Hamburger Helper he's prepared something like "Hey, Clark, I don't know why they say add meat, this stuff's fine the way it is."
Ah, fine cinema!
What I'm wondering about is the dishes. Were there tons and tons of them to wash and Becky would be satisfied if John just washed one sink full? Did John decide that washing one plate and one glass counted as washing "some dishes"? Why didn't Becky just write "wash the dishes"? She afraid of asking too much?
The other thing is her opening sentence. Is John so dense he won't realize there's food (I use the term loosely in this context) in the skillet? Is the Hamburger Helper so dense it won't be recognized as edible? OR, is Becky ordering John to "PUT the Hamburger Helper in the skillet, please, not in the microwave again, you dolt"?
Fraught with possibilities.
I wonder what the relationship is between John and Becky. If they are a couple why would Becky feel the need to sign her name? Wouldn't John already assume from her handwriting and the fact that she made him HH that it was Becky? Who else could it have been? I never sign notes to my husband. Although, I do tease him when he leaves me voicemails because he always states his name, as if I couldn't figure out who is was after being married for 15 years. Silly.
I hope that skillet hasn't been sitting out on the stove very long....
"I don't know why they call it Hamburger Helper, it does just fine on it's own."
I usually eat Hamburger Helper right out of the skillet. That way there aren't any dishes to wash.
Poor Becky- I bet she works hard and doesn't get the credit she thinks she deserves.
You all make me laugh..."What is hamburger helper"...
If there was no hamburger helper in the world I would probably starve. It's cheap, easy to make, and yum yum eat it up good. (If you haven't figured it out...I CAN'T COOK!!!) =(
LOL
I leave notes like this for my husband all the time. I usually just use initials but I am complusive too and have to sign it. I always add "I love you" though, to soften the request to do dishes, haha
"What is hamburger helper" is a perfectly legitimate question for those who live outside the US and have never been subjected to their "home cooked meals" in boxes. Since no one deigned to answer Cookie, I will say that HH is pasta or rice or both in a box, with a seasoning envelope. You loose-fry minced beef (hamburger in the US, mince in the UK and other places), add the pasta or rice and the flavouring packet, and some water, and let it simmer until everything is tender. Cheap, fattening and full of preservatives and artificial ingredients.
When I was a kid we used to try to curry favour with Mom by adding things like water chestnuts, and serving it with candles on the table. No wonder I learned proper cooking, in self-defence.
Remember, troops: the world is not America, and America is not the world. A good 90% of the world's population has never been there.
Becky didn't write "Please do some dishes". She added the "please" at the end, AFTER a comma. She is a woman stuck in a crappy relationship with a controlling, perhaps abusive, warlord. They never speak. They only communicate via her notes on PINK note paper and his grunts. She works two jobs and he spends day and night at the bar.
You all know this to be true in your hearts!
yeah, these two have a 'note fight' going on, Becky has this round in the bag
I haven't heard or used the word "skillet" in ages. Weird. Does everyone else still use the word skillet? skillet skillet skillet.
When I was a kid, I was on a family vacation and we met this really cute young dude (I was too young to be into guys, but my older sister and her friends flirted with him at every opportunity.) He was a deck hand on one of the deep sea charter fishing boats, and he was broke, so for every meal he ate "helper." (hamburger helper without the hamburger.)
(*jingle* hamburger helper helped her hamburger.. help her make a great meal!")
Baby Basil:
I wasn't implying that everyone should know what Hamburger helper is. Don't get so offended.
Well, I'm definetly not gonna be invitin' Winston (or Basil's mom) to any potluck any time soon...
HH: *shudder*
Hamburger Helper is grounds for divorce at my house.
Baby basil, do they call it Mince Mate in England? j/k
Chopstix, were you the one singing "chicken tonight" the other day? Gahhh!
They also make Tuna Helper, because making tuna casserole from scratch is sooo labor intensive.
"Hamburger Helper" is one of the reasons I became a vegetarian.
i'm with cookie,HAMBURGER HELPER YUCK!!!
i assumed the hamburger helper was in the stove from a previous date (hence the need to mark the note -Thurs-) and not something Becky whipped up to entice John to wash some dishes.
if her John is anything like *my* John, he's the one who cooked the hamburger helper sometime on Tuesday and left it there.
imo, hamburger helper != food.
Oh! Hilary, that makes perfect sense. As if Becky was saying, "Clean that fucking skillet out already, John! That shit's been sitting there since Tuesday!!"
(Please? *kiss kiss*)
@Chef in training: don't invite Becky or John, either!
We ate so much Hamburger Helper and Tuna Helper when we were first starting out that the only way I'm ever touching that stuff again is if the apocalypse comes and we're out of Cup O Noodles and I was only able to catch two squirrels that day.
Terriesovery, that would be the Rodent Remedy flavor. It has two of those funny four-fingered hands on the box (cuz you need 2 hands to catch 'em!)
i thought it said 'Bocky'.
Who just eats Hambuger Helper!? That's just wrong. Winston I need you to get a wife!
I'll go with the upset-roommate-ready-to-beat-up-John story. I actually think this should be co-posted at passivagressivenotes.com ... And, of course, the last sentence should be read as 'Could you do (at least) SOME dishes (once in a while), PLEASE?'
"Mince Mate" sounds classier. They should change the name.
This sounds like one of those dashed off notes I leave for my husband all the time when I know I'm not going to see him when he gets home from work. "I left you some food, could you please do 'X' for me before you go to bed?"
Librarian, that makes two things I like about you already. Do you know of http://vegweb.com? Very helpful resource, the site is technically vegan but there are a lot of non-vegan veggie peoples there.
I'm not sensing much love in this note. Just plain "Becky" for a signature. No "Love ya!, Becks", "See you later Hunny-wunny, Love Becky", or even "XOXO, Becky" Nope, just "Becky". I sense passive-aggression. To Becky's credit, she did at least say please, which may be as good as we can expect from her.
I like how she wrote Thurs. at the top of the paper... so like it john doesn't come home for 3 days, he'll know not to eat the hamburger helper
I tend not to cook very often during the week, with work and all. So when I do "cook" on a weeknight, it is usually something like Hamburger Helper. My husband actually does a little dance in the kitchen when he finds out!
Lost Girl:
If I got a wife that would be pretty weird cuz I'm not gay and am already married. Yes...some women in this world (myself primarily...ooh and my mom) can't cook. My husband is the chef in our family. =)
I hear ya', WINSTON!
My hubby is the chef in our kitchen, as well! He's Italian and a fantastic cook! I guess he learned alot of secrets from his Mama. She made the BEST homemade pasta and tomatoe sauce this side of Canada!
I think LOVE is the most important, secret, ingredient you can use in making ANYTHING!
HEY! Don't ya'll think that HH and Kraft Macaroni & Cheese are good to eat? Once in a while, there's nothing wrong with "Taking a break" from total 'scratch' cooking.
When I was a teen, my siblings and and I would call them, HH and KD RATIONS!!!
Funny FIND!
@Holly--
Yes, I think HH is good to eat once in a while, and I tend to spruce it up a little with mushrooms, sour cream or anything else to give it a more "home-style" appeal. Or, as my late father used to say, "putting a silk hat on a turd" :)
@MLM- Ahahaha!!! Your Father is right!!
I've added my own special touches, myself. Onions, garlic, mushrooms, and sour cream!!
I don't think this is a husband/wife thing. I think it is a roommate thing. When I write notes to my husband, I never use his name -- I use my favorite term of endearment to address him. As others mentioned, I don't sign my name because I don't need to -- he knows it's me. (I do, however, draw a little heart. Can't help it -- I am a dork in love!)
I agree they're definitely roommates. This letter says to me: John I made myself some lunch you can have some if you want, clean the pan when you're done.