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October 28, 2007 |
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Break Up Letter
FOUND by Oriana L.L
in Brooklyn, New York
Found next to trash bags outside a 24 hour diner on 5th Avenue, Park Slope.
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Thursday April 27, 2003 |
The Very Best... April 10, 2005 |
Untitled #5 December 25, 2005 |
Lost Fire Juggler October 25, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
"U made me act ugly." WOW!
No, I'm not bitter. Why do you ask? Haha.
That wasn't very nice. Good luck with your teeth? What's that about?
Yeah, I was thinking that too! Was she using him for a root canal? I would go for shoes.
Crack whores have bad teeth.
Love the column on the side. "Your husband Jeff." What a classy crack whore. At least he's cute, though. Because that makes it okay.
Dang.. if this is page two... I wonder what page one said.
What a sad little world these people exist in.
Sometimes it helps to just get it all out....
c'mon now...it's easy to see this and think of it as completely different than YOU. Okay, maybe I've never done dental work for a girl who has a husband. [am I missing out?] You know, though, I've run into some passionate relationships with some wacky women [this assumes that I've most likely been the wacky guy]. Honestly, if 'your be on dope,' more power to ya! Final thought...they probably should not procreate together.
[just a guess]
Seriously, though, I hope someone isn't about to get shot.
i love incoherent rantsm just love em'
Apparently she's not That good at lyin.
She stopped listening a while ago. Now all she hears is 'blah blah blah'.
I like the way he puts 'It's all over' in a little circle just in case she hadn't got the message.
'And I'm cute'. WHAT? I don't think so.
Honey, you're better off without him. Maybe your husband Jeff loves you. So talk to him, you can work it out. Give up the dope and get your teeth fixed.
why is this written on paper???
grown ass people are passing notes to each other?! at first i thought this would be a rant between a 6th grade "couple" but then i got to the husband part.......
Absolutely love this found, I thought "the only job you have is a blow job" couldn't be topped until I got to the bottom and read "Good luck with your teeth"
Isn't is spelled L-I-A-R? not L-Y-A-R?
Geez, buddy, why don't you tell us how you really feel?
Classic find! I know how much it hurts to find out that a liar has been deceiving you for some time. Maybe this guy just found out about her husband or God knows what. The rage!
It appears to me that this guy got his heart broken by the gnarly-toothed, cheating, crack whore and just spilled it out on the paper to eventually give to the biotch who couldn't read so she just balled it up and threw it away on the way to her next blow job.
The top few sentences actually sound like like song lyrics coming from a heart in great pain. But I can't see the part about "Your only job..." and "Good luck with your teeth" being set to music.
Um, well....how's that workin' for ya?
Damn.....just, damn
I can't believe she let this one go. Cute is everything. Why he squeezed that attribute in the very bottom corner is beyond me. Who cares about his earning power? If he had started with I'M CUTE! YOU STUPID LIAR! I'M OUTTA HERE! she would really be sorry she lied and come begging for forgiveness.
Keebler, that was my sentiment exactly, but I thought I can't just write that. But it's a perfect comment ( and commentary! ) thanks!
I really do think that "wigger" is my favourite part of this note... But I get the feeling that I'd want to slap either party if I had to see them in person. Only job is a bj? That's harsh
Keely, are you from Vic? Somewhere around a country grocer?
Josie, it doesn't say 'wigger' - look at the other 'n's in the note. It's the dreaded N-word, yo.
Dear Tweeker,
If you don't want to make it obvious that you've been up and spun for three days, use more than one sheet of paper for your letter, k?
Your BFF,
terrieissovery
PS- loved the "the only job you have is a blow-job" line.
Give this guy a PC, an easel, and a laser pointer!
Oh darn... the n-word is much less fun than the w-word... Shame on them :(
"Good luck with your teeth." Comedy GOLD!!
Well she's married to Jeff anyway! This is fucking hilarious!! How's welfare treating you? HAAA! And I'm cute. The only job you have is a blow job. This guy is a very good venter.
HAHA.. I LOVE IT!
I'm just amused that Jonathan is APPALLED! Are ya really? And I don't think the crack ho is reading your advice today.
I think it does look like a "W", so lets just say it is. Way much more hilarious as "wigger".
I'm pretty sure the teeth thing is a passive aggressive comment about a past lie involving teeth.
Just a thought.
Wow!! This is rich literature, lol. Well we know he's cute and he gets enough pussy each week . . . and her only job is a BJ. Go pimp daddy!
He wrote, "Good luck with your teeth lyar" . . . I wonder if he was attempting to make a smart ass remark based off the line, to "lie through your teeth"? And then, "Go find a welfare N-----", definitely the N-word. You'll notice he writes his "N" in "nothing" the exact same way, almost like a "W".
"You aint' shit. No. I'm sorry You Full of shit!" Best line in the note, IMO.
I love the stuff in the left margin. It makes the whole thing look like "The Annotated Crack Ho Lyar Missive"
This is a timeless classic.
Odd that everybody noticed wigger and not much to say about this person calling her a spic. And for some reason, I thought that the person writing this note was female and this was a junkie lesbian affair.
agreed, a timeless classic.
Though I doubt these people are college educated, it is amazing how low things can get between parties when cheating is involved. BTDT and it can get pretty nasty and low down, no matter what kind of degree or lack there of a person might have.
Awesome find.
Sounds like typical trailer trash fight and it could still be wigger the W is identical to the W for the word whole
I'm surprised this whole wasn't confused for that hole
Spam protection please i only have eight fingers and two thumbs how do expect a trailer trash crack whore to count that high ?
P.S. For the politically correct offended in the world I apologize for your over sensitivity yes I have grown up in a trailer and I'm nt creating a sterotype that is not already in place and in place for a reason if you ask myself.
I love the top circled part, talking about treating women like shit. Especially the punctuation... Random periods really add emphasis. And also how the lines broke up the page I first thought it was a conversation, but I guess it has to be just one writer (content and handwriting...). It makes me really sad, though, like this person was trying to whip out every negative quality of hers and write as many random low blows as possible...
You go boy!
LOVE his insults.
I thought it was written by a woman too, terrieissovery… I had to read the comments to sort out the gender. hmm.
i can't help but wonder i this is just someone venting about a troubled relationship, someone about to breakup with someone and going over whatt s/he should say, or a one sided argument on notepaper. Interesting either way.
I don't think this is a break-up letter. I have seen things like this before. This is more the psychotic ramblings of a crazy person. For one it appears to be some type of dialogue, yet it's all written in the same handwriting. Good luck with your teeth...LOL, Weird.
I want this made into a shirt, so people have to stare at my tits to read it.
He obviously feels betrayed and is lashing out. He wants her to feel the same pain he is feeling, and the only way he can do that is to attack her with words, focusing on the things he thinks will really hurt. It only hurts if it's true. So she obviously has bad teeth. Thus "good luck with the teeth". Not that he was fixing her teeth. He's just pointing out that they're wack. Just like if he'd said good luck with your weight to a fat ass bitch. Then, of course, he has to point out her lack of education, employment, morals, integrity, etc. Then as an afterthought, has to point out all he has to offer (looks, money, guess that's about it) so she'll know what she missed out on. He'll get over it. And if she's half as bad as he says, she already has.
I love two things about this one:
1. He appears to be coming up with insults or comeback lines so that when he does confront his "spic" girlfriend, he knows how to insult her best.
2. Your only job is a blow job. That's hilarious.
This is a day late, but I gotta say this is one of the funniest rants I've ever read (well besides the racial slurs..not funny at all). May be he meant Good luck with your teeth always getting in the way of your only job. ??? HAHA This guy is pissed. Poor Jeff, reckon he knows anything about what his wife has been up too?
Hey, back off, a blow job is still a job. Just ask the roller skating gay escort from Reno 911.
I want to know what his job is.
Professional Strawberry
Okay I'm really confused by this-- you guys see two people writing back and forth?
I read it as one person making notes to himself/herself (?). All the handwriting looks the same to me.
What scenario would these two people be in to pass a note like this? Are they shoving it back and forth across the table at the 24-hour diner and silently sneering at each other?
I was thinking it's a crib sheet in preparation for a breakup phone call-- so in the heat of the moment the speaker doesn't forget to say those really good zingers like "your be on your dope soon."
here's a dramatic reading of a found break-up letter...i laughed my ass off.
http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons
I think the funniest part is "and your husband Jeff..." Oh, she's married! For such a cute guy, he seems to have pretty low standards.
I actually feel really bad for this guy
Manda...thank you so much for sharig that link, it was absolutely hilarious.
I agree with Lori..
Manda, I couldn't stop laughing.
wow, first I thought this was a note between two young people? But in the column it says "husband", they must be at least over 18, how immature is this!
Is it just me, or does the need for fixed teeth and the only job being a blow job fit together nicely?
Chrome: You had me at "The Annotated Crack Ho Lyar Missive." Hahahahaha!
So a hobo asks a passerby if he can spare some change. The passerby says, "Get a job." The hobo responds, "Come here and give me a job!" (With credit to overheardinnewyork.com)
Wow. Good luck with your teeth. That's the best parting line I ever heard.
I had a friend who always dated guys with bad teeth for some reason. We would make fun of them, and then she would pay to have their teeth fixed. She was a fixer.
Yeah, it's written by a guy. Would a woman, of any persuasion, write "Now I know how to treat women: like shit"? It's a guy. And I think it's all notes to remember what to tell her later, too.
i thought it was interesting that he wrote about how he was cute, but "you made me act ugly." that says more than anything else on the entire note. God bless him... i hope he finds happiness...
i found this absolutely hilarious.
" I Also get enough pussy each week"
haha. oh, and if you read the side panel, she apparently has a husband named jeff. i wonder if he knew that he was married to a dirty Lyar?
next time i break up with someone, i should photocopy this and post it on their door, with the little circle where it says "it's all over" highlighted. at least maybe i could get the person i'm breaking up with to laugh.
LOL! its like cornell notes.. very funny
Terrie is so very, when I was a kid (about 7 to 9 years old) I was offended by the name of the cleaning product SPIC & SPAN, because I thought it had something to do with Hispanic, Spanish-speaking people with menial janitorial jobs. I thought it was horrible. My Mom assured me that it wasn't the case- that the words were just another way of saying "neat & tidy"... I wonder if they're still making Spic & Span. I haven't seen it in a long time.
"and I'm cute" "LYAR" "good luck with your teeth"
~PRICELESS haha!
poor guy, he was obviously extremely hurt, but i can't help but laugh,"good luck with your teeth"...and even better, "the only job you have is a blow job"(thats just hilarious!!). Maybe if she hadn't been such a LYAR he would've had her teeth fixed...after all he does make more in 2 days then she and her husband do in 5 years...looks like she effed it all up!!
She had summer teeth, some were in her mouth and some were not!