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September 18, 2005 |
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Message in a Bottle
FOUND by Chooch Friedman
in Montauk, New York
Dear Found Magazine,
First, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank you for the permanent crook that I now have in my neck from scouring the landscape.
We live on the beach; all kinds of things wash up. This note was found this morning by my husband while he and Stella the dog were out for a stroll. We were really fired up because in all the years we've lived here, we hadn't found a note in a bottle until this one. So, then came the problem of how to get the note out intact. The tweezers were too short, as were needle nosed pliers, and we had no hemostats. The neighbor, who is a leftover from Berkley 1968, surely has some, but his shades were down and I just could not wait for him to get up, so I put the bottle in a plastic bag and nailed it with a hammer. It was a little deflating because I was hoping for a note from someone across the Atlantic, but it was still pretty funny.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
...has your husband died?
My condolences on the passing of your husband.
By the way - Chooch is an awesome name.
It says nothing about her husband dying...it says he found it that morning...
lol
Why can't all terrorism be this polite?
lol.....love, Osama
Thats pretty random...
I'm missing why people think her husband is dead.
People are commenting on her husband being dead because hte bottle supposedly contained anthrax.
It's a joke...
hahaha I love it! But I wonder why someone would write it...? Did they mean it for someone particular or did they just figure that anyone would find it funny?
I'm wondering why you wouldnt call the police or the FBI or something instead of sending that to found magazine. Don't the Found editors get worried when they read notes like that
Joe,
Do you suggest that Mr Bin Laden actually wrote this note...?
hahahaha poor poor joe....
Hey I like joe, he seams liek a smart guy, i mena i call the police or the FBI EVERY time i find something liek that...ive got em on speen dial in case i ever see osama hangin out in wisconsin
There sure are some slow people here.
What's more entertaining, to me, than the note is Cooch's letter to Found Magazine. I laughed at the "The tweezers were too short, as were needle nosed pliers, and we had no hemostats." I loved it!
And Osama has a great translator! No broken english or anything!
I hope Stella made it thru. Dog's noses are the darndest things
This is so great-- it's the best i've ever seen on here.
I love this, it's so sweet, "have a nice life"
This is the saddest, most pathetic note. I mean just think, the person who wrote this couldn't think of any better message to write in a bottle. I guess this was his/her contribution to the 4th anniversary of 9/11 and the war on terror - desperately hoping it would sail all the way over to the Persian Gulf. Instead it floated around for 7 days in September and washed up maybe a few miles from where it was sent!
The story I come up with after reading the message is: A couple of teenage 'hippies' were smoking late at night on the beach and thought it would be so liberal and moving to write a silly note and sign it Osama. I'm being super judgmental and I'm very sorry. It's just that I know kids exactly like that who'd do something like that. I wouldn't be surprised if they wrote this message. [Sorry for being judgmental!]
For a terrorist, Osama has a pretty flamboyant signature
i think the note is great. it shows how paranoid we get at times. though at others, there are reasons.
i also dont think that if they had just inhaled anthrax they would be in the mood to read the letter from osama
Well, i think the person who sent this is quite the comic, and I found it hilarious! I'm glad the submitter was NOT a paranoid alarmist that freaked out and called Homeland Security. geez.
I love Mr. Bin Laden's handwriting (Assuming of course, that this is THE Osama we all hear about in the news). It's very cute. And the well-wishing of the finder of the anthrax to have a nice life and yet die quickly was very thoughtful of him (again on the assumption that this is THE Osama). I guess they have lined notebook paper in Afghani caves. that's way cool.
love osama
lmfao
That's hilarious. Next time I go to the beach I'm gonna put a message into a bottle and chuck it into the ocean :)
I find this...joke..no funny.
"have a nice life..." all 15 minutes left of it! at least he wishes us a swift demise.
Excellent execution(no pun intended) great note.....Lighten the fuck up people...
<Gasp> Osama is in Arizona, no wonder we can't find him in Afghanistan! Do you think someone there taught him how to do the little curly Q under his name for flourish?
--Chooch Friedman, Quaker Parakeet Rescue and Placement Program Committee, http://www.quakerville.net
teenagers.
No wonder why we can't find bin Laden... he's at the beach! Call Baywatch!
i dont see whats funny about this, i think its disturbing.
Its alittle bit funny on the Osama part, but the antrax part is not funny.
Heh "sending"... Now I have a mental image of Osama bin Laden being persued by Pam Anderson and David Hasselhoff.
I actually liked this a lot and the fact that it was found in a bottle :)
Why is everyone so uptight? Come on, it's a joke. I found it hilarious...he has a really pretty signature (;
funny...
I laughed laughed laughed the whole time I read theses comments.. Love Osama thats great.. why do some of us take things so seriously this is a great find and you guys have an awsome sense of humor..lmao
HAHAHAHA that is funnyyyy
I don't understand why everyone assumed the guy who said call the FBI was referring to the name Osama... he's referring to the ANTHRAX part.
I don't know if the note is funnier, or Joe's comment.
Ha Ha Mark!
And Jessica, I agree. We all have our slow moments though, don't we?