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September 27, 2007 |
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NO FARTING!
FOUND by TJ
Found this on the back of a "NO FARTING" sign.
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Something Naughty April 01, 2006 |
Mr + Mrs ? September 07, 2006 |
Like a Hyena May 16, 2006 |
So Are You a Seeker... December 30, 2001 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
i wonder what would happen if you opened it?
How does Holly know that Mom doesn't enjoy huffing Tim's farts now and then? (or is it Jim's?)
Hmmm... what would you have to do to win THAT?
I think while spending the night (or in other words having a drunken pass out) at my friend's house last week, I let out a gargantuan fart and awoke just enough to hear my friend laughing at my sleep toots. How embarrassing! That's just what this found reminded me of.
"Crop Dusting" or "Dutch oven", now that's all just regular guy stuff, but......"sleep toots"??? hahahahahahahaha
man, that must be one tall kid. or one really short mama.
also, when my brother, sister and i were apart from each other for a week or more when we were kids, we'd tell each other we were bottling our farts as a ephemeral but potent souvenir for the others. in the process, my brother mastered something we call "fart distillation." in an enclosed space, his art is tantamount to a WMD.
Y tu mama tambien! *rrrrrrip*
hahaha! Everywhere you be let your wind go free!
This makes me feel right at home. Pull my finger....
Dear lot's wife, if you opened it, all the lesbians would come running out.
I wouldn't win something for someone until AFTER they agreed not to fart in my mom's face. Maybe not even then unless it was a shitty prize.
guy in cognito, you got me to wondering...are you a girl incognito as a guy? I have never in my life heard a guy use the term "sleep toots" or admit that he was embarrassed that his friend was laughing at his drunken farts.
Great find, BTW, Little Holly likes Tim enough to go to the effort of winning him a sign at the fair but has to choose a sign that says "No farting" because of the trouble her mom is giving her because Tim keeps farting in her face. Poor sweet Holly...
How do we know TJ isn't the same person as Tim, the gas passing recipient of this prize???
This guy I know can lay on the floor, put his legs in the air and "get air" in his butt. He stockpiles it for farts. Very nasty.
Very classy couple. Tim farts in mom's face and Holly wins him a mirror thingy from the county fair. I guess she chose 'no farting' over Def Leppard or Grim Reaper.
My dog will turn around and smell his own but when someone lets one go. Or run away, when you fart too close to him in bed. Not that i ever fart however, that's my spousal unit i'm talking about.
and jonathan, no wonder you're sitting in the back row. lol
My dog will turn around and smell his own but when someone lets one go. Or run away, when you fart too close to him in bed. Not that i ever fart however, that's my spousal unit i'm talking about.
and jonathan, no wonder you're sitting in the back row. lol
........
Ewwww!!! This is one of the funniest finds ever! I want to know, did Tim just throw his prize down in disgust, or did he lose it? Or was it Holly who chickened out and didn't give it to him? If so, did she manage to stop him from tooting in her mother's face? I want to know!
Also, why are farts so funny?!? I'm a 33 year old Mom, and I still secretly think they're funny!
Now this is a find that could get interesting.
This is the back of the sign. The little hole in the half-circle flap is to hang the sign up. If you open it the back, you destroy the hangability of the sign, not to mention exposing the sharp edges of the glass if it's one of those mirrors previously mentioned. (and possibly unleashing floods of lesbians?) There's nothing inside, unless some bored factory worker slipped something inside for the consumer to find. (a note that says "hey, loser, I said don't open it!" or one that says "help, I'm being held hostage in a cheapass no farting sign factory")
Personally, I think Sean S's suspicion is correct: TJ is not only the "Finder", he's the recipient of this priceless gift from the fair. Feel free to debate at length.
I've seen this before. When you open that tab it makes a farting noise and smells like ass.
I think Tim is probably Holly's mother's boyfriend. Holly didn't choose to win this at the fair. When you play games at the fair you usually are trying for big stuffed animals and if you win anything at all, it's something no one wants. Anyway, when Holly got the prize she immediately thought of wanna-be step-dad, who is really gross, and Holly can't figure out what her mom sees in him. Besides he's been farting and laughing, especially when he does it in mom's face, and mom pretends it's funny. Also, the mom's boyfriend is not a real nice guy and he resents the time that mom spends with her children. Holly, the teenage daughter, knows a red flag when she sees one. She's letting him know what she thinks of him, hoping humor will change him and turn him into a gentleman and the kind of substitute father she and her siblings need.
I think I'd be distressed if my daughter were dating a guy that farted in my face. Unless, of course, he quits because she gave him an official notice NOT to do it anymore. Then maybe I'd be able to tolerate his stinky ass attitude.
I've had weeks with NO spam protection, now that I've got something to say, I gotta figure out numbers?? Sheesh...
Heh... nothing like being blunt. Well done Holly for not beating around the bush and just telling Tim straight.
Am I the only one who thinks this find reeks of an inside joke?
For example: I once dated a guy who when I would say something about my mom being an attractive woman (she is super hot, by the way) he thought it was hilarious to make references to wanting to have sex with her or having had sex with her, so I started making references to punching his mom in the face. Not very nice, but an inside joke none the less. That's what I am guessing is going on here. Anyone else? (Why am I the only one raising my hand?)
Oh, and I understood there would BE no math.
Creepy!
Mona Lisa, our late dog also was a fart sniffer and for that reason, whenever the spouse farted as leaving the rooming, they (the farts) were referred as "dog toys".
I get the feeling Tim and Holly are brother and sister.
Tim farted in Holly's mom's face once........once.
What the ? ! ? !
Suzy Q, is your mom possibly "hot mom"?
Wow. Holly has some super classy friends.
In my last year of high school, right before graduation, my friends and I wanted our class motto to be "Farts will always be funny!" Needless to say, no one else went for that.
well congrats for the girl being so blunt. i prolly would've been the same...i know one time during a sleepover i went to one girl ate too much Mexican food and we had to put her in a different part of the house she was farting so much...then after she went to sleep we put shaving cream in her hands and done the tickle routine.
Cat farts are way funnier than dog farts.
Flatulation punctuates the still night air
And I thank god you're here
I queefed - Enjoy
Make the most of my butt-toast
Enjoy my good friends - Enjoy
The laces of my shoes unlock the mystery
Come and share a treat with me
I can't recall the last time I washed my feet
We're in for a treat
Here's my shoes - Enjoy
And here's my socks - Enjoy
Make the most of my toe toast
Enjoy, my good friends - Enjoy
Flatulation punctuates the still night air
And I thank God you're here
I queefed - Enjoy
Smell my feces - Enjoy
Sniff my ass whilst I pass gas
Enjoy my good friends - Enjoy
the use of "sleep toots" and the subsequent debate over it made my day. so funny!
My lover's farts on my belly are "butt kisses."
When they were younger, my husband caught his younger brother farting in a ziploc bag and putting it in the freezer. Frozen farts for dessert, anyone?
Clover, I thought this was step-dad-ish, too.
Growing up, the boy next door used to fart in a wine bottle and cork it up real fast to save for his sister. He only did this when he couldn't catch her to fart directly in her face.
Maybe Tim is farting in Kim's mom's face in hopes of giving her a poo hat?
I used to tell my friend that I was going to shit his pants while he slept. He hasn't slept since then.
Step dad or mom's boyfriend makes since, except it sounds like she likes him, not a red flag. There is an explamtion point.
Poo hat! Makes me think of the asian photo poo find.
One of my cats is a little on the fat side, and when you squeeze him he farts. It's such a mix of disgusting and hilarious, I love it.
Personally, I am of the school of thought which says that if you must fart then fart at will. I still don't understand why farting is frowned upon. People should take pride in there farts and do it indescriminately. Everyone does it and there shouldn't be any shame in it. If poor Tim here doesn't fart somewhere then his colon might just explode and that's not pretty. It happened to a friend of mine. Imagine a world where farting embraced as acceptable in any setting. One day farts will be free!
Personally, I am of the school of thought which says that if you must fart then fart at will. I still don't understand why farting is frowned upon. People should take pride in there farts and do it indescriminately. Everyone does it and there shouldn't be any shame in it. If poor Tim here doesn't fart somewhere then his colon might just explode and that's not pretty. It happened to a friend of mine. Imagine a world where farting embraced as acceptable in any setting. One day farts will be free!
Personally, I am of the school of thought which says that if you must fart then fart at will. I still don't understand why farting is frowned upon. People should take pride in there farts and do it indescriminately. Everyone does it and there shouldn't be any shame in it. If poor Tim here doesn't fart somewhere then his colon might just explode and that's not pretty. It happened to a friend of mine. Imagine a world where farting embraced as acceptable in any setting. One day farts will be free!
Poor Will, Sean.
Poor Will, Sean.
Triple!!! Yeah, server is slow as mollasses today.
The first rule of ''Fart Club' is, never talk about 'Fart Club'.
I want a cat that farts whenever I squeeze it! If Flargy started making those and selling them for five bucks a pop, I'd buy one.
Brain Problem, if you squeeze any animal hard enough, something stinky will come out. Except Flargy. Then it smells like roses.
The finder IS the farter. And there's always one poster, every find, that says "creepy". Creepy, huh?
I think farting is the real reason for global warming.
I'm with Sean - free your farts! Free your farts! Just not around me...
My youngest son made up a fart joke when he was only 2. We were at a music festival and were walking up some steps when he told his brother, "Got a joke for ya." "Oh, yeah? What is it?" and he turned around and farted! No one had ever told him this joke, or done this around him. My oldest is a little... fastidious for something like that. He also used to drain his sippy cup, belch loudly, and toss the cup to the floor.
We believe he's a reincarnated frat boy. Or fart boy.
Looks like our Find of the Day ran out of gas early.
Milo, that was the coolest poem i've ever read.
I laughed out loud at some of these comments! First real smile i've had all day :)
Scientific fact, cause I saw it on Oprah, everyone farts on average 14 times a day. Sean, wow three identical post. What up with that!
Norma Jean: As I stated before, the server was acting funny earlier. it would not except comments and kept giving an error page. when I got home from work there were 3 posts of what i had been trying so desperately to communicate. Could be the network admininstrators at my work trying to stop my FOUND fun. Go figure.
My Dad would fart at the dinner table (which is really gross by the way) and then blame the Fish that unfortunately lived on the wall behind my dads chair! "barking fish"
I secertly HATE farting.
Kite in PDX, I have tears in my eyes from laughing. Your dad sounds hilarious! The fish! Too funny.
"Here I'm sitting, broken hearted..." I remember secretly watching The Gong Show Movie and hearing that saying and not understanding what it meant. (Gimme a break! I was about seven!)
Anyway, I have been giggling through these comments and Plastic, maybe your cat isn't fat at all, but just bloated with gas, thus your ability to force farts with a small squeeze. Poor kitty!
My cat used to fart and then look at me as though I was the farter.
And, in retail, when the store was slow, my co-workers would leave SBD fart clouds for each other throughout the store. One affectionately called the other "Sewer Ass."
lost, i have a serious crop duster in my office. i can't decide whether to just call him out on it or come up with a more creative plan for revenge.
you also reminded me of another silly childhood poem:
farty marty had a party,
everyone was there.
tooty fruity let a pooty,
we went out for air!
Dear holly i talked to your mom and she said she really dont mind the gas when i pass. oh thanks for the picture.
Tim
I taught my niece, who is almost three, to blame it on her mom (my sis) when she farts. So in the grocery store the other day, my niece farted, and then said, "Mom, you cut the cheese!" I got a phone call from my sister as soon as she got home. Revenge!
So this is what was going on while I was knocked out, having a giant hole cut in my skull, huh? I wonder if I let any rip while I was under, like putting in my two cents on this Find in the only way I could that day.
Funnily enough I know a Holly and Tim that dated. I never heard anything about a farting issue though....