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June 22, 2008 |
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Not Handicap?
FOUND by Joanna Ballinger
in Chicago, Illinois
I found this note curbside near where I work in Lincoln Park. Parking around there is a real bitch.
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Mysterious Interior September 25, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
belongs on mcsweeney's open letters to people or entities not likely to respond ...
Bet the um person who wrote this note has lots of stickers and stuff on his/her car. Wonder how he/she drives!
what's with that Ginormous D at the end of handicappe D!
You know they're pissed when they break out the RED SHARPIE Of Doom.
okay so i, too, hate it when people who appear to not need the handicapped parking park there, but i always remind myself that one's disabilities may not be obvious (like my mom's - she has post polio syndrome - not visible necessarily) or that one may be a driver for another who is disabled and therefore has the parking privilege... let's just assume if one parks there and shouldn't, karma will take care of that.
of course, driving like an a**hole knows no limitations.
and i love the word "placard"
I'm thinking the large D is a subtle pronunciation suggestion. The author may want us to stress the last syllable, as in beloved, something like handicapp-ED.
Well, my babysitter when I was a kid had Crones disease, and even though she didn't look like she was handicapped she had a handicap placard because she had to go number 2 all the time. Just a suggestion.
I believe the word is assWHOLE.
I have seen many assholy (-ish, -ite) drivers with handicapped license plates. For one reason or another, they qualify for the plates or placards. My mother, who uses a placard due to post polio syndrome, tends to drive like she owns the road and everyone must abide.
Also, @ Spending....I feel the same. This site is addicting.
I have a handicap placard because of my MS, which is not immediately visible, but if I spend a prolonged amount of time in the heat, all sorts of infirmities arise.
I am also blind in one eye, and have a hell of a time parking in regular spots because of a serious lack of depth perception--everyone should be glad I have permission to park in a larger spot that keeps their cars from getting smashed!
Not everyone who looks disabled looked it, but pretty much everyone who is ignorant eventually finds a way to let everyone know.
Ahem....youparklikeandasshole.com
Maybe the inability to drive "normally" IS a handicap.
My mother in law has 3 slipped disks in her lower back. she has a handicapped "placard." she usually uses a cane but there are times her back is feeling good enough to where she doesnt need it. so it appears she is NOT handicapped when parking in a handicapped spot. you just never know. but yeah, driving like an asshole will always constitute a "red sharpie of doom" letter.
this reminded me of something funny:
once i was shopping with a friend and we parked in a mysterious non-handicap spot between two handicap spots in a parking garage. nobody'd been parked on either side, and when we got back to the car, there still were no cars surrounding, but we found a little note tucked under the windshield wiper (actually we didnt notice it for six blocks, and then she made me get out at a stoplight and grab it). it said "ASSHOLE! YOU PARKED SO CLOSE I COULDNT GET IN MY CAR". we laughed until we remembered that we parked between two handicap spots. but then we remembered they must have parked after us (and were eventually able to get into their car, since they left before us) and we laughed some more.
I cannot stand when people take it upon themselves to determine who is/isn't handicapped. My aunt spent a year in a hospital bed after a really bad car accident. She had to be cut out of the car with the jaws of life and helicoptered to the hospital. After several knee and pelvic surgeries it took months of physical therapy for her to even walk on crutches. To this day people just see a beautiful, thin woman and make snide comments that she should be ashamed of parking in handicapped. They don't know the obstacles she had to face to learn to walk on her own again or the pain she suffers.
i agree, i also like the use of the word "placard"- definitely an underused word. makes the note-writer sound more intelligent.
maybe the note writer knows the person and therefore knows that they are not handicapped?
and Spending, I always thought it was asshole, as in the brown star. Surely that makes more sense, in that it is more offensive than to say you are the whole ass. I dunno.
I saw at least 20 people I would like to give this to in the past two days alone! Apparently anyone can get a handicapped parking pass... except me... because I'm on crutches and could actually use a pass.
Could we make the spam protection a little harder?! I hate math!
I was lost in Ocala Florida at 4 am one night. I pulled into a deserted rest stop and parked in the handicap spot because it was right next to the pay phone. I was chased on foot by a deranged drunk probably serial killer. He was screaming at me " You're in the handicap spot! " I somehow got back in my car and drove over the median back to the highway.
I expected that a lot of people would chime in with the old "not all handicaps are readily apparent to the casual observer" argument. While this is definitely an accurate statement, how do you know that the recipient of the note didn't climb out the car window dressed like the Greatest American Hero, then proceed to travel the next half a block via backflips and handsprings? It's not entirely inconceivable, you know.
Fooch, I prefer "assholian."
Disabled in AZ, if you are blind in one eye and have a serious lack of depth perception, please get the hell off the road immediately.
Ahahahahahahahaha!!! @ FLARGY! You're right, sista'!
I also am irked by people who complain about the disabled not having a "visible" disability. How many forms of hatred must society endure? My sister and (ex)bro-in-law used to get this complaint occasionally, even though he walked w/obvious limp and she was blind. (no, she wasn't the one doing the driving...)
I was thinking the same thing Flargy. Should someone who has such a vision problem be driving in the first place?
How do you know this person isn't handicap?? Fuck you! When I was 19 years old, I didn't "look" handicap, either. But I was and I had a placard to prove it. It was a temporary disability. Four surgeries on my leg. NOT a good time. Just because someone doesn't meet your visual standards for being handicap, doesn't mean they aren't. Maybe this person was a shitty driver, but you're an asshole, so it kind of balances out.
Could be that these people know eachother. Maybe asshole driver is scamming someone and bragging about it. Anonymous letter writer is fed up, but not into actually confronting anyone, so they leave a passive agressive note instead so asshole driver knows they aren't being cute.
You'd be surprised at how many people "know" that someone's "not handicapped" despite only seeing the person in question for a matter of seconds. I found out the hard way that there are far more "invisible" handicaps than there are visible. If only pain was visible, oh, they'd change their tune!