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December 27, 2007 |
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I'm in Love with You
FOUND by Edith
in Stockholm, Sweden
Found on the bus. Kinda heartbreaking, 'cuz it's just thrown away, you now... Hope they're ok.
"Do you wanna read this, do you really wanna know what I am thinking about when I'm like you said 'absent'? Maybe everything's going to be wrong and 13 years of true friendship gonna be destroyed by too much love.
That's what I'm thinking about, all the time. If I should take the risk. If I dare.
Dare to say that... to you.
It's even hard to write.
But, I love you. 'Well, what's with that?' You may think. 'We're friends, of course you love me!'
But I love you more than that. I'm in love with you."
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But If I Were February 14, 2006 |
Not Quite a Hallmark May 14, 2006 |
Asleep at the Soundboard July 28, 2007 |
The Rainbow ... December 30, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
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ah. that's a sweet letter.
edith, feel free to correct my spelling/ grammar, but the only phrase I know in Swedish is "hol tust och schuss mig!" I'm sorry, I fear I've totally butchered that...
(German: halte die Klappe und kuss mich."
Spanish: quiete y besame" (sp?)
Polish: Zat kniep y potzolya minya" ??????
Russian: Zam kniche e potzoye me"
Darn, I've forgotten the rest of my 16 year old-self's absolute obsession!
Sorry, I probably butchered most of those translations, actually... It's been a while)
Truly beautiful. Translations make me happy.
This note makes me feel infinite.
This reminds me of a letter I wrote to my best friend a couple years ago. I was explaining to a new friend the reason why I just can not tell the man I love just that. I love him. And this is my story:
"a couple years ago, I (again) fell for my best guy friend. I waited about a year til I told him. We were in college, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I wrote him a letter, just pouring my heart out into the couple pieces of paper. I felt great about it. a week later, I was getting my mail. on the counter of the front desk was an envelope with pink writing, no return name, but a return to sender. It was the letter that had taken me forever to write, then send. sending my heart and some tears with it. all the hope I had. everything. I looked at it to make sure, and snagged it off so no one else would see my heart just taped to the counter. He had opened it, read it, taped it up and sent it right back. Haven't heard from him in...3 almost 4 years now. I just don't want that to happen again...really sucks. So, I try to leave my feelings open for anyone in hopes of feeling something back, but I just end up pushing people away with everything I'm worth. I'm just afraid...I feel like that girl again, the day her heart came back...taped to the counter for the whole world to laugh at."
"I can't pour my heart out to him then him sit there with his hands outreached in front of himself to me, as if holding my heart in his hands, and saying "Here you go. Here is your heart."
So I understand completely what the writer is going through. I hope everything went well in their situation though.
What a beautiful find! And Edith, thank you so much for the translation.
Ahhh Love, unrequited. Is there a sadder chapter in the human saga?
This is my favorite find. The translation is beautiful. I actually am crying... but I cry easily... so don't put too much in that.
This is so beautiful, I can hardly stand it....and to write it so eloquently, I wish I could be so bold.
That's the saddest thing I've seen here, it made me wanna cry.
Who do you think threw it away the writer, or the recipient?
I find the tiny little heart at the end the most vulnerable part. Good luck, writer! We've all been there. We're rooting for you. <3
Thank you for finally uploading a Scandinavian find! My sister and I will be sending of a bunch of Danish stuff very soon...
Dear Dane in Denmark, while you wait for your Finds to be posted (it can take up to two years, according to some who've submitted, and eventually seen theirs on here), please enjoy this Scandinavian Find:
http://foundmagazine.com/find/1531
I'm certain there are others, but this is the only on that immediatly sprang to mind.
E!
Please insert into immediatEly up there.
wonderful. i'm sure about, oh, ten thousand people reading this can relate. (actually NOT including me, but oh well.) this is very good timing, because i just wrote a poem-song thing that kind of reminds me of this, it's not about me though...sorry, no one wants to hear my rambling, anyway. this is probably my second favorite Found EVER. (starbucks and death still takes first place.)
Don't be fooled, people. This might appear to be some Scandanavian language - the effect bolstered by the purported "translation" - but in a simple letter-sustitution cioher from the mother ship to her operatives here on the target planet, spelling out the preliminary steps required for the ultimate destruction of Terran Humanity.
You have been warned.
Nice find and thanks for the translation. I hope to see more non-English finds, it's a funny reminder that people are same no matter where you go.
Sarasara, actually "Shut up and kiss me" in Spanish would be "Calla y besame". What you have there is almost (not quiet)"Don't move and kiss me." I'm a professional translator, you can trust me on that one.
Megan, *ouch*. That hurt *me* to read about, so I can only try to imagine how it hurt you. And I bet it still smarts, even after a couple of years. Don't give up. He didn't deserve you. When you stop looking is when love arrives.
Le coup de foudre, ça existe!
I think most of us, at one time or another, ended up having a huge crush on friends of the opposite sex. One of my best friends from high school confided in me he felt the same way about me back then, but was also afraid to let his feelings be known. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but we'll never know now -- our lives have gone in totally different directions.
To honestly love anyone, you must assume the risk of losing them. It makes me sad to think the sender discarded the note, but sadder still to think the receiver did.
Megan, your story broke my heart! Just remember he wasn't worthy of your friendship, not to mention your love if he disregarded your emotions so easily.
Don't worry, sweetie. I've been there and done that. It all will work out for the better. You'll find that special someone, I promise.
This is just... Wow! I adore this find, not only for the obvious reasons, but because it was in Sweden. (My husband is Swedish)
This is just wonderful on a couple of levels. Been down this writer's road, too. Had a great friendship with a guy and took it to the next level and it didn't work. But today we're still very close friends and it couldn't be better.
It's finally my B-day!!!
don't give up hope, writer! i met my husband when i was 15. he immediatEly fell for me, but i could only ever think of us as friends. after eight years of friendship and a couple failed dates, we met up at a party after i had been out of the state for a few years and *snap* there it was. lightning zapped my brain and i realized i'd been with my soul mate from the beginning, but was too clueless to recognize it.
we got married a year later on the very farm of my epiphany and will celebrate our 6 year anniversary this coming april.
some of us are just a little slow to catch on to a good thing when we've got it.
beautiful.....i like to think the writer lost nerve and threw it away.....
Sweet.
Now this is a good find. After yestarday I was contemplating giving up on Found. Maybe not now.
This happened to me once. She ended up with a cokehead jerk instead. She shot me down pretty quickly when I finally spilled my guts to her, but that actually turned out to be a really good thing for me in the end.
This could easily be a Descendents song, if only they were Swedish. If you like poppy punk and want an example, download the songs "I'm the One" and "Hope."
Please forgive me, Edith, but when I read this I can't help but hear it in that bouncy inflection of the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. It's kind of a funny mental image though, picturing that guy getting all sappy and emo all of a sudden.
Thanks basil!
Pepp, there IS such a thing as a soul mate, but what's really sad is when you're married to someone who is NOT your soul mate.
Ugh, the pain of having an "I love you" stuck in your throat! Is there anything worse?
Maybe having a birthday two days after Christmas? 32 spankings for me today...
As Charlie Brown once said, nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Gosh, this find really was heartbreaking.
I believe this was posted because at the end it looks like it says "Kat i dig" (aka "I dig Kat") and it's CuriousKat's birthday today!
Happy birthday Kat! (Now I know I'm not your mother -- lol!)
Flargy, I must know... are you married?
I'm not brave enough to tell the person I love just how much I love him and that I do love him as more than a friend. I admire this person for taking that chance.
Maybe one day the words will find me. But I do sincerely hope that my words won't be discarded only to be found on this website.
Flargy, if you aren't married, you should be... TO ME!
Warning: Useless Emo, Selfish post, skip it if you dont wanna waste 1 minute of your time that you will never ever have back again =P
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Who said it was a man and a woman?
I received a letter like this once. We had 20 years of friendship, we was like sisters. Meet each other in kindergarden, we was living in the same street (everyone in your street is your friend when you are young anyway~). Always together, sleeping in same bed like littles girls, was always going out and party together.
Yeah, i knew something was wrong somewhere i admit. She was acting the same as always but i saw in her that something was wrong. I consciously ignored it 3 years. Yes, you can consciously ignore things, trust me. We went to same college, been roomates. Things was going from bad to worst, she moved out with some jerk guy (she definitly stopped "trying to date guys" after a while), then i meet my first serious relationship, and then this letter came under my appartement door.
I knew it. So it wasnt a schock, i was just glad we had no more "hiding" and "ignoring" anymore. She was clearly telling me she knew i wasnt interrested in woman, and that she was writing it for herself, not for me. I didnt changed the way I was acting toward her.
Sadly, she did... She moved away from where I was living and we grow appart more and more. We talk by Christmas cards now.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When i see pictures of her I miss her. Actually, i miss her even whitout the pictures. Maybe im just a nostalgic that cant lets things go. I guess its for the best for her, but im a selfish person maybe and I wish it never hapenned. At least not that way.
Wow, my story is sad, I dont know if i will hit the "Post comment" little button after all, quite depressing for a holiday time story.
I dont want people to think that telling the other person is a bad thing either. Its always better to tell things than keep it inside. Most the time, no matters the outcome, you feel reliefs and if its your friend, real friend, they wont be idiots and ignore you or something like that. I think real friendship mean communication, we are adults, we can talk about things, even tho its hard sometimes. No?
Im such a bunch of contradiction inst it ... I think i'll hit he Post comment button even tho my comment is quite Emo, selfish and should have its place more in Post Secret than in Found. Sorry guys about this ~
Found delivered my Christmas wish! A couple of days ago I was tired of all the List Finds, and hoped for a photo or a love letter, and I got both! (Not to mention the Forwarded Email Find from yesterday. Bonus!)
Touching Find today. Tack så mycket, Edith.
Happy Birthday to Kat and that other Birthday Girl in Arizona!
You crazy Swedes running around with all that crazy stuff you call love.
And Flargy, currently, my fair city is harboring a Stephen Egerton. Personally, I thought it sounded more like a Jawbreaker song. But....
I know this feeling far too well it can take control of every aspect of your life....Desperation mixed with hope I wrote maybe a million letters like this befour I gave up . I moved on and I think I'm happier my heart broke losing him but nothing would ever grow between us I was a fool ....
Interesting find. I was also wondering if the friend and object of love was gay.
I don't know if it is worse being in love with someone who doesn't return the feeling or visa versa. I personally don't care for the visa versa.
Who says this has to be unrequited? Maybe the writer gave it to the friend, he or she read it, accepted it, and decided they did not need a little piece of paper to confirm their love? (Although you would think that he or she'd want to keep it...)
This kind of reminds me of my situation. Except we've only been friends for a year, but a week ago today, one of my best friends confessed his 'like' for me (not quite love). I felt the same way but he has a girlfriend. My situation kind of sucks too, but my heart goes out to the writer of this find.
And the moment she finished reading the note, he tilted her chin toward his face, gently bringing her smile to his as their lips met for the first time.
His letter fell to the floor of the bus and in the stirring current of the air in that moment, the paper was forgotten...
Awwwww!! This is so ummm whats the word... prodigious of heart! I love this!! I fell in love with my best friend back when we were 5, he was my first love Michael Hill, haven't seen him in 17 years Ahh good memories lol
When I started typing this the above comment was Nightingale at December 27, 2007 12:26 PM
Hey other Birthday Girl in Arizona: Happy Birthday to You!! I'm a few spanks past 32 -- lucky me!
Clever Clover, of course, I know now you're not my mother. You're my new joke writer! Still telling your 'strained man' joke. Waaay better than my old standard pirate joke. Thanks for the good material.
Cheers all!!
Dane in Denmark, I hope you'll find this Find from Finland to your liking.
http://foundmagazine.com/find/1651
I was saddened by the crinkled/wrinkled state that the note is in. It was apparently crumbled up at some point.Love shouldn't be so scarey.
I think that he wrote the letter just to practice what he was going to say to his true love. He threw it away just before he met her for lunch, and then professed his true feelings. At their wedding they laugh together about how he was so nervous that he had to write out his speech, never having realized that she had felt the same way during all of their years of friendship.
it sounds like we've all been in this situation at some point-- in love with our best friend but afraid that it'll ultimately destroy the friendship. I don't know. I kind of look forward to a lifetime of loving from afar. It's not as sad as it sounds. Life is good. My heart is full.
oh yes, and happy happy birthday to all of birthday girls! Lots of (loving) spankings from all of us @ FOUND!:-)
i wish i knew a language other than english.
i recently watched "just friends." this letter reminded me of the movie, however more interesting.
I love Lost in Translation's ending to the story. :)
Wow! What a self esteem boost todays comment section is!
Sorry ladies, but I'm enthusiastically spoken for, and happily so. Oddly enough, I dated a girl named Scout many years ago.
Turbo, when I mentioned all that Powell Peralta stuff yesterday, I knew you'd get the reference. I can always count on you to get my punk rock references, and as you obviously know, back in that era those two scenes were not far removed from each other. Hooray for Token Entry!
i've never fallen in love with someone who was my best friend first, but am finding a best friend in someone i've fallen in love with.
My best friend and I dated for about a year, then realized we were always bickering and were starting to nearly hate each other. We broke up and, lo and behold, we went straight back to being just as good of friends as we were before. We still hang out at least once a week and know all each others' secrets. Sometimes it hurts because it feels like nothing changed... I love still being friends with him, but I feel like we're still dating; I'll be thinking about the future and forget that it'll play out with a man other than him as my husband (he's made that much clear). Fie on love...
Megan, dear, your story broke my heart. I'm something of a writer (though 'hack' comes closer most days), and I was wondering- if your story appeared (in altered form, with different names) in a poem or somesuch of mine, would that be alright? It is too heartbreakingly moving not to find a new home in art.
I met some one through my friends and became good friends... he broke up with his girl friend because he felt more for me than he ever had for her... i really fell for him but we were both worried it would be too soon.. we dated any way... then out of no where he runs away and drops everything we had... i hated always being the "heartbreaker" in relationships, but i never had that happen to me before... that the guy looses intrest so quickly after nearly saying he fell in love for me... usually its not so hard for me to get over someone if they arent intrested in me any more... but its been so long since we were together and i still cant stop thinking about him and it hurts and its to the point now, where i dont care if ever wants me again... i just dont want to hurt any more
ctscream: that's what it's all about, isn't it????
I'm sad my birthday is almost over.
i prefer to think that it just fell out of a pocket accidentally and was not just tossed onto a floor somewhere.
Thank you, everyone for their loving and moving comments. Little by little each day, my heart starts coming back. yes, after 4 years, it's still not whole. It's so hard to give a "broken", if you will, heart to someone new. But, that's love right?
Dear Elizabeth~That's funny. My middle name is Elizabeth. I would love for you to use my story as inspiration for your art. I use it everyday in some way or another. If it gives you joy, by all means. Maybe, a little more of my heart would come back to me that way. I would love to see the end result, if you wouldn't mind.
it's funny how wounds of vulnerability that one tries to stitch up and forget can be sliced open with just a few words. In whatever language. It manages to hurt just as much to look back on a tangent of humiliation.
How sad, all that misery.
Everybody's got a story of their own that relates to this theme of unrequited love.
I choose to believe that the author threw it away; didn't need it anymore because they decided to say it all in person...
Gosh, that certainly stirred up some long-buried emotions.
Kat, happy birthday! Sorry I missed it-- hope it was a good one.
(Happy new year!)
Basil, I didn't know you were a translator --that explains a lot, O brainy one. Might need your services some time!
The Find reminds me of an occasion when I needed a translation of a Grieg song in Swedish, 'Jeg Elsker Dig' (worss by Hans Christian Andersen). I gave it to a helpful Danish lady at work, and when I came back from lunch there was an anonymous note in the internal mail that said --
"You have become the single thought of my thoughts,
you are the first love of my heart.
I love you as no one else here on earth,
I love you for time and eternity!"
-- so I rang her up and said 'just as well it's not Valentine's Day'. She hadn't the faintest idea what I was talking about.
that'd be *words' by Hans Christian Andersen.
Doh.
This is heartbreaking. Confession of love through writing is the most powerful way. Trust me I had to do it for someone that I couldn't be with (he was taken) but I felt the need to confess.
And this letter is beautiful, it brings back memories and tells me that I wasn't the only one who had to go through with it.
Brilliant find, one of my favourites!
I love this note, it's so well written and beautiful. Teenage love can be so hard sometime, especially when it's with your best friend. since everyone's telling thier stories, I thought I'd share mine. [:
*********************
i'm only fifteen, but there was this guy. His name was shannon ( i know it's a girl name, but i assure you - he was male . We met in the summer right before third grad when he came to visit his cousin, Eric. I had known Eric ( or Bubba as we called him back then) since we had first moved to my apartments and back then, in elementary school, everyone in the apartments hung out together. I was swimming - doing the dead mans float - in the pool and he just jumped in and splashed water all over me. I splashed him back and we started this huge water fight which ended with him dunking me under water until I begged for mercy.
We were best friends ever since. Third grade, he ended up moving in with Bubba and we were practically inseperable. I remember we used to have these dictionary fights when we were supposed to be doing our vocabulary card for homework. (You know? You look up an insulting word in the dictionary and call them that and then they call you one and then you call them one. It pretty much goes on like that.) I developed a huge crush on him and I started to get all distant and it was just....weird. I ended up avoiding Shannon cause I thought he wouldn't like me until my brother and Bubba cornered me in front of my house and asked why I was avoiding him, but I just blew them off and went inside to watch S Club 7. (haha, i can't believe i remember the name of that show) Anyhow, a couple of days later, when we were walking silently home from school, he asked me to hang out and i told him i couldn't because i was hanging out with katie (another girl grom the apartments) He and Bubba came by that night to watch tv with my brother and when he saw me there, he asked me to come outside to talk to him. He asked me what was wrong and i told him nothing. he asked if i was mad and i told him no.
His best friend asked my best friend why i was mad and, of course, she told him i liked him and he didn't talk to me for about two weeks. When he finally did talk to me, he kissed me (my first kiss). We dated on and off (we used to have the most horrible fights, i swear, i've never had a fight with anyone like i had with him. We used to throw punches and everything) until sixth grade. When he moved away without telling me. Then in the summer after seventh grade, i found out he was my new best friends cousin. I should have put two and two together when she told me she was bubbas cousin - making shannon her second cousin. anyhow, we ended up getting back together only for the summer and i haven't seen him since and when i do - he's kind of a jerk. I don't know it's weird, but i still care about him with my whole heart. Being with him is like being back in second grade all over again because we know each other so well. I don't know if i'm making any sense now, but that's my story.
******************
Beautiful.
i have been going through exactly the same situation as the author of this note. only a few days ago i finally told my best friend that i was in love with them. she revealed that she had felt the same earlier but didn't want to risk our friendship. since we go to different colleges there was no desire to start anything on either side, so it was just nice to have it all in the open. like i said, it was only a few days ago, but we hung out a lot after and things were just as they had been. i feel way better for having said it as well.
this is perhaps a bit late but if i may ...
when i was 13 i was introduced by telephone to the boy who would later become my best friend. We were completely different people but we seemed to fit together like, i dunno, laminated floor boards (??? I don’t want to say jigsaw and that's the only other thing i can think of right now, you know - how they fit together perfectly?)
well anyway, one night while talking on the phone we were both listening to the same radio station when, as if by fate, a song came on. I dont recall now what the song was but it was some guy singing about how he and she were best friends but that he was in love with her or something to that effect and then my friend tells me that that's how he feels about me to which i promptly respond that I feel the same. so there it was, we were as much in love as you can be when you're nearly 14. Anyway, before we could make anything more of it I had to move away and for the three years that i was gone we had absolutey no contact.
When i came back we were even more different but we still fit together and it was like nothing had changed, except of course that he was in a relationship with a girl that I had never much liked, however we still carried on like the best friends we used to be (and did things that perhaps we shouldn’t have done).
Anyhoo, although our relationship was strained somewhat because he had a girlfriend who didn’t much like us hanging out together, I loved him and we remained friends up until the day he killed himself and when I read this Found letter it reminded me of my ridiculously cliched story and when I think about it it makes me a bit sad that I no longer have a love like that; a love that makes you so gloriously miserable and excrutiatingly happy at the same time.
I hope the writer found it.
This reminds me a lot of the movie Love Actually when Mark goes to Juliet's house with the signs.
"Without hope or agenda - Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you."
Rent it if you haven't seen it.
yea....!!!
420 kaptchka my lucky numbers!!!!
This is so sweet, and this is what my life is like currently. I am in love with my best friend except i havent told him yet,and im a little afraid to. This gives me a little courage.
i know how hard it is for this person. i have too fallen for my best guy friend and i can't summon up the courage to tell him. i honestly don't think i ever will.
I wrote an email for my bestfriend and told him that I'm in love with him. Luckily, though we didnt end up like in those romantic movies, we still friend till now.
And he's been really nice to me. I'm relief that I finally have told him about my feeling.