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June 28, 2007 |
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Almost Haiku
FOUND by Hailey
in Sitka, Alaska
I found this in our school library in a pile of papers by the printer that nobody had claimed. It could be a haiku, but it has one extra syllable.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Maybe your sister is still bitching because she's trapped on a tree in the snow beneath your window.
It is not a true Haiku. There need to be five syllables in the first line and then seven syllables in the second line. Then five syllables in the third line. Usually the third line has the element of surprise or a form of "punchline".
"Worker bees can leave
Even drones can fly away
The queen is their slave."
The haiku is not a valid form of poetry! 5/7/5? WOW, you, my friend are profound! You genius, you!
Petrarchan sonnets are where it's at.
Sounds like a bad case of cabin fever...
you can make this a true haiku, change the last line to: judgenmental bitch
It's still a great image, even if it's not "true haiku," judgemental biatches!
Hey everybody! I found a video of Donna-Lee from yesterday's Find:
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/9f6ac01883
SALT...go back to the freakin' sea, nobody gives a shit who you hate.
this poem is very william carlos williams-esque.
sun is on the earth
the trees are growing quickly
founds abound with judging
To make this a Haiku, you just have to change "sister" to "sis." Maybe that's what he did, reprinted it, and turned it in.
hey.....
SALT came to annoy
not to offer any thought
just ignore, he'll go
also:
a hit-list of those
you will never meet in life
shows you are the ass
This looks like photo captions to me. I used to print out a list of photo captions on my computer, cut them up and do the scrap book thing with them. I'd love to see the picture of "my sister still bitching"
The title to the poem could be: Things that never change.
SALT, you arent very nice. You take this website far too seriously.
anyone know how this one goes for real? i only really remembered the "punchline"
I am a true cat
Scratch me on my rump, behold!
Elevator butt!
uh... ang? that video wasn't funny...
Sounds like something from The Perks of Being a Wallflower or maybe even the Virgin Suicides (the book)
In modern poetry, English versions of Haiku usually follow the spirit of the form, just as they do with Villanelles or sonnets. Since the 'ing' is really a feminine ending, it may actually count as a sonnet, being unstressed and sort of trailing off. I say good job, and I think the sister in the last line is a surprise. Probably a very young poet--kudos.
I like it, the writer didn't confine his mind to the rules, but rather took from his own experience to finish the haiku. I hope that this haiku was apart of a much larger assignment that was turned in to a teacher, this should have never been lost.
Nice! It seems kind of pedestrian and cliche, but the surprising last line saves it. A good metaphor for life - surrounded by beauty, yet able to savor only so much as we are distracted by our humanimal annoyances and duties.
who cares if it's a goddamn haiku or not?
For Manda:
You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
elevator butt.
Reminds me of my favorite, courtesy of Beavis and Butthead:
Burning cherry tree
Every blossom was aflame
Uh, here come the cops
to the salty sea
buzz mad fly against
the window of a hot room
endlessly til death
Things that my dog likes to pee on!
("Spam protection: Spell the word 'dog' backwards." Now that's poetry.)
Found comments so rude
ruin many awesome finds
stuff it, bitches!
a friend wrote this one during a Zen class, the only haiku I've ever memorized:
Saturday morning
I forgot my zabuton
Now my ankles hurt
I kinda can't get the question of who SALT hates out of my mind. SALT, you offered an alphabetized list. Would you be so kind? Could you add a numerical indices of how bad you hate them? Maybe a 1 to 10 scale? That would be great.
That curious above isn't the same Curious as me. Not that it matters.
I love this find! That's the best haiku-like poem I've ever read. What's up with hating poets, anyway? And I doubt the person that wrote this labeled him or herself a "poet", anyhow.
people come HERE, a place to see art in the randomness of life, to be rude and obnoxious to one another. Maybe Salt (and others?) should state his/her age and we may all understand better....
I'm with William in Indiana. It's a list of the things the writer can always count on. The constants in his/her life.
Oh, and Salt, would your list be all in caps?
i find it funny
that people need to comment
with more bad haikus
:D
Can't we all just get along?
(Maybe some of y'all need a big hug!)
When has a true poet written a great poem in one sitting? Clearly, this wasn't the final draft - the kid left it in the printer tray. And even if they did turn it in, they would have gotten a low grade. Calm down people, so the kid is learning. Let it go, breathe.
And Salt, none of us care who you hate so making a list would be a waste of time. Besides, it's not like you actually know who any of us are. So just settle down and let people make their typical, waste of time comments. (much like this one.)
beeswax is stinky
jr high sucks eh kiddo?
you'll grow up one day
oh oh oh and don't go psycho ... wait ... her it comes!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lost in space:
are you just restating what was stated in the intro? thanks so much! you know many here can not cannot can not cannnnnoooootttt read, spell or nor use proper grammar grammer.
I used to go to a bar where there was an old WW2 vet as the bartender. The owner of the bar decided he was going to have a haiku contest. Contest day came and it was Joe the bartender's turn to read his haiku. He opened up a slip of paper and said, "Fuck the Japs".
I agree with SALT and the lite cream cheese. That stuff's plain wrong.
I like how this found starts off like it's going to be all serious and then it's not... It could be the opening words to a comedy.
I don't like it how posting a comment here makes you feel paranoid incase you type something wrong...
I'm delighted that I fit into at least six of Salty's categories. I just wish I had invented lite cream cheese.
Thanks SALT, 'ppreciate the laugh.
Lots on Haiku in Wikipedia, including the fact that it has 'approximately' 5-7-5 syllables. I've read somewhere else that it can still be a genuine haiku with a different syllable count.
My favourite is Roger McGough – 'First haiku of spring':
cuck oo cuck oo cuck
oo cuck oo cuck oo cuck oo
cuck oo cuck oo cuck
...so there.
SALT
That list gave me a couple chuckles ;)
Help! I don't understand what elevator butt is! I am obviously deprived.
OH, never mind! I just got it when I thought about cats...
Things that I see , feel , and hear !
SALT-
Could you please grace us with a list of people you love?
Monika, thanks for posting that.
SALT, you're my favorite.
Katherine, I'm glad you spell my name correctly when borrowing it for your own use.
Turbo once again gets top honors for best comment of the day (so far).
Many thanks!
I love the comments. The critics and the not so critical. I know my IQ has gone up a few points by what I read on this website.
A-holes who post hate lists
Big dumb a-holes
Comments by SALT
Dumb idiots who spread hate
Everything SALT says about everyone
Freaks
Gigantic a-holes
Hurt feelings on random websites
Idiots
Just SALT
Kids who act stupid on random websites
Losers
Mean people
No-good a-holes
overuse of CAPS
people like SALT
questionable people
really mean comments
stupid idiots
too much hate
ugly words from ugly people
vile remarks from SALT
weirdos
everyone knows there's nothing for x y z
Lucy in the sky
Brought up judgenmental bitch
Old joke made me laugh
I love this find. I think it pretty much says it all.
We're find of the day
Random group of stranger friends
Connected by found
Aw, shucks, not salt, I dind't know you cared. I'm flattered. (I'm guessing, and this is waaaay out on a limb here, that you're secretly SALT with the CAPS LOCK turned off! Shh! Your secret is safe with me! :) )Junior High was so many years ago, in fact it was called Junior High then and not middle school, as it is now, but it was still a little taste of hell on Earth that I've never quite gotten out of my mouth. But you're sweet to think of me so.
No problem, Katherine.
We must unite and become a single entity.
Remember, my friends,
that SALT is, by no means, sweet.
Please give him kisses.
Red in the principals office- there can be no such thing as a draft of a haiku. Haiku's do not need to have such a precise structure, but what they do need is primary impulse, spontineity. It's a buddhist thing.
SALT- the following are a list of things you do not hate, you secretly love them and only pretend to hate them out of jealousy.
BJORK
FAT PEOPLE
HIPSTERS
NOISICIANS
POLLAKS
if you doubt me, i can only prove my point by dragging my shit to your house and playing a noise concert exclusively for you, a noise concert that will turn your legs to jelly, give you a hard-on and change your goddamn life forever.
HAHAHHAZHAHDSAH
NO RESPONSE.
I've applied for Mexican citizenship and have begun investigating the paranormal on behalf of fat Wiccans and Icelandic musicians.
Hey asshole --
What's a "POLLAK"? The fish (which is what I'm sure you were referring to in your list)is spelled "pollock" and the nickname that pinheads use for people of Polish descent is commonly spelled "polack".
Get it right, pinhead.
Well, I really like it... !
Hey SALT - what is it you have against Chuck Palahniuk?
The Last Word - I assume that your list was an attempt at humor, but it was just painful to read.
Although haikus can have 'approximate' syllables matching 5/7/5, there need be no argument whatsoever- "bitching" is one syllable. and when you say it as one syllable, it is a lot more fun to say. I will never be SALT's friend as i AM lite cream cheese.
SALT, i agree with your list so hard. <333333
Actually, an American Haiku has 17 syllables, but is not restricted to a 5-7-5 configuration and does not have to be about "nature."
This is totally an American Haiku, especially considering many Midwesterners pronounce "beneath" as if it only had one-ish syllable... "bneath."
This is one of my favorite finds ever.
The greatest part of this comment thread is that all the comments by SALT were deleted, but all the comments in RESPONSE to Salt's comments are still up, so whoever came after (like me), has NO freaking CLUE why people are so mad at Salt! Argh!
Good one! Can't stop smiling at that one