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January 01, 2008 |
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Diary, Page Three
FOUND by Dallas
in Upstate New York
I walked past a diary for a few days as it sat in the melting snow in an alley near my apartment.
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But If I Were February 14, 2006 |
Not Quite a Hallmark May 14, 2006 |
Asleep at the Soundboard July 28, 2007 |
The Rainbow ... December 30, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Scandalous!
Pehaps her "bathroom problem" is from all the junk food? Shame on you Grandma. Shame on you.
Awesome.
How on earth could anyone walk by a diary in the melting snow for several days without picking it up?? Also, what do the other pages say?
They say happy new year , Clover!! what do you thinkk?
happy new year all my found friends, you know who you are, I love you all!
also deputy Duncan , Thank you for opening this door to so many new friends. I miss you, man.
I was just at my grandma's house with who??
someone needs they're lactose intolerant.
happy new year, found friends! :)
let me rephrase that: "someone sounds like they're lactose intolerant."
geesh, i need sleep.
Looks like with Marilla. Poor kid, no poopie for you. Hopefully this wasn't a bad omen for the entire year.
Happy 2008!!
LOL @ "Dear Dairy." I was just watching the Zach Galifianakis DVD and he said something about being dyslexic as a child and writing about it in his DAIRY.
Never mind popcorn and soda, the new year is off to a great start as long as you have ice cream. Maybe she had trouble going to the bathroom because that would entail leaving her ice cream unattended. That would be incentive enough for me to just hold it and stay at the table.
"Dear Dairy" is real funny.
I used to do sort of the same thing on New Years Eve. Except the last part. Really.
Happy New Year, Found!
2008!!!!
Yeahhhhhhhh some things are tmi even for a dairy/diary.
Yep. That sweets-and-dairy deal is a lethal combo. This is too funny, and a great way to kick off '08. Happy New Year!
Happy New Year FOUND family!!
Hope to see you all in 2008 -- ice cream and soda and popcorn for all!!
I'd have trouble going to the bathroom, too, if I had to share it with my grandma. Ick.
New Year? There's a new year? Nobody mentioned it to me. Cool.
Hmmm.... Hope the "problem" has resolved itself by now!!
And... hmmm... If you wrote about your problem with dyslexia -- don't you have to have dyslexia to read it?
(Chickens crossing roads before eggs... or?)
I'm wondering if maybe this is a request for assistance but some of the words were omitted:
Dear Dairy (Advisory Board),
I was just at my Grandma's house...had ice cream...(and now) I have a probelem with going to the bathroom. (I need help. Any suggestions? Thank you.)
Or perhaps, for whatever reason, she is making a social statement and the last line would have been better written, "I take issue with going to the bathroom."
OR Banjo -- perhaps the problem is going to the bathroom TOO MUCH!! hmmm....
Or, have you ever met one of those people who just can't go unless they use their own bathroom? Maybe this kid started early and even Granny isn't exempt. Or maybe there was a cell phone in Granny's toilet.
After the holidays I think there are probably plenty of people who have a problem with going to the bathroom. All that food and not enough of normal eating.
Maybe she just doesn't like to look at herself in the mirror. I dunno.
Happy New Year!
i have my daughter on video asking for a diarrhea for christmas (she wanted a diary)
WTF, is foundmag.com for your free advertising? Give us all a break.
Yaaay! Davy wished us Happy New Year! Right back atcha, Davy.. Hopefully you spent the night with... soda, and icecream... and Popcorn Pete.
I used to try to keep a journal but my mother would purloin it, read it while I was at school, and then criticise me and tell me how wrong I was. I should have kept a diary of all the things I wished would happen--I might be a famous novelist by now.
Maybe her problem with the bathroom has something to do with the abundance of DAIRY in her lifestyle?
This Find was hilarious.
I love the irony of someone who is lactose intolerant writing to their "dairy." lol
I found my old diary a few years ago - there were many, many pages where I had written "I hate mommy/daddy/mommy and daddy" and then gone back at a later time and erased the comment. I wonder if I was feeling guilty because I realized how good I had it, or because they did something nice for me?
For once, I have nothing to say.
Oh, wait! Did anyone wake up in their own vomit this morning? Not that I did or anything......(ahem)
Brandy, happily, I made it to the bathroom. My New Year's resolution: no more posting comments on Found after jello shots. (Sorry about that.) Happy New Year, y'all.
This sounds to me like the person writting wanted to write something private, because it's a diary, you know, that's where you write PRIVATE things. So, after realizing how boring going to grandma's was they had to write something that would be considered private. Kind of like that 'Leave it to Beaver" episode.
Nothing better than starting a new dairy -- sorry, diary -- on 1 January. That's literally turning over a new leaf.
I like the way he/she starts the diary entry with a kiss (or is that an 'X' for making a mistake even before he/she has started?).
New year resolution -- keep off the ice cream and soda and popcorn! Not to mention the alcohol (and the ABBA CDs). No wonder we have problems going to the... oh dear... excuse me a moment...
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all -- especially to my new found New Year New Found friend (you know who you are! Whoopee!).
)*j*(
This is fabulous. I remember writing stuff like this in my dairy... I would keep it up for about 3 days, then stop until the next year.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, Found friends. (and not yet found friends)
Jonathan, I'm not sure what to make of that little symbol below your comment. Although I am adamantly opposed to using "emoticons" in any situation, I can still usually figure out what they mean.
To me, this one looks like an anxious guy having his face smooshed between two boobs belonging to two different people of indeterminate gender. Am I close?
And a happy new year to you too!
Well that would be a strange (though probably not entirely unpleasant) sensation.
It's an elephant.
Possibly with a hangover.
(in Courtroom)
Chicolini [Chico Marx]: Now I ask you one, what has a trunk but no key, weighs 2000lbs and lives in a circus?
Prosecutor: That's irrelevant.
Chicolini : Irrelevant, hey that's the correct answer.
('Duck Soup', 1933)
Happy New Year!
)+j+(
It would be interesting if this was the diary of a thirty year old.
Happy New Year!
I used to get diaries when I was little and I would write in them for two days. I have a stack of old nearly empty diaries.
Oh! A diary! I have found many diaries in my day. I should submit them!
Happy New Year and Bonne Année to all found friends here, there and everywhere!
i thought jonbenet died years ago.
I once heard a 5 year old beg her mother for "roughage." No shit. Oh wait, I guess that's the problem here...
Terrific find, it made me laugh. And realize how much I miss my grandma.
Happy New Years to all you Found Folks.
Sorry, dude. That's just my signature because www.literaryrejectionsondisplay.blogspot.com is where I am located. (You no like. You no look.)
Happy Year Fellow Foundlings!!
And Natalie -- somehow that sounds a bit sinister... Have you, perchance, "found many diaries in [your] day" because you snooped? Snooped & snagged??? Hmmm... once again, are we 'broadening the definition' of Found?
My diagnosis is that the problem she has going to the bathroom results from too much dairy products.
This might possibly be my personal favourite found ever. I love the Dairy/Diary mistake. Just one of those words that easily mixed up when you're young. And of course, such an important detail -- after I ate all the junk food, I had trouble going to the bathroom. Amazing. I love childhood.
I love this! I think it is hilarious!
Baby Basil, "purloin" is a wonderful word.
Those last two sentences are pure gold.
Then just crap in the yard like my dog.