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August 29, 2007 |
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Jesus Has a Full Schedule
FOUND by JoAnne
in Oregon
Found in an office that was being cleaned out for a new employee. I am amazed Jesus has the time to replace plants on a one-on-one basis.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
"Jesus" is probably a mortal's name (Hispanic and pronounced differently). Still funny though :)
but the one to the left of the elevators is soo pretty. man, why does jesus gotta be like that.
So is this supposed to mean that <i>leaves</i> are replacing whatever plants are currently in the 'reception' and 'Left of the elevators'?
No HTML tags allowed in the comments, I see...
No I think you <i> can <i> you just made a tiny error that messed it all up!
My apologies, I guess you were right!
I'm going to guess it's a "hey-zeus"
Jesus' past job performance indicates that the job will be completed in under 7 days, and the plants will very likely be in place by the 3rd day.
Jan, That was his fathers past Job preformance. current records show that it took jesus about 30 years to start his last job (and apperently it's still in progress) talk about a slacker...
Eve: It's a theological thing - the triune God as in God in Three Persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I probably shouldn't have wandered into this territory. Before the flaming begins, I just think world religions are genuinely interesting, and a little humor doesn't hurt, unless one's humor instigates a fatawa. In which case, bummer.
The whole note made me laugh & think of the man named "Hey-Seuss" that I know. As well as made me think of Leaf Garrett (sp?), whom I recall as having some issues with some "tree leaves" himself (just to name a few)...and it made me think of Jesus.
Oh, pardon - I thought of Donna too. She's nice and very concerned about the environment.
This is one of my favorite finds in a long time.
And how appropo that my spam check answer is GOD.....I don't think THAT is coincidence.
"Yes, I'm trying to reach Donna?"
~*~*~*~*~*
"What do you mean she won't take my call?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*
I know, but she said 'to call if for ANY reason' and well, I can't sleep because of, well, so MANY reasons.
~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I just want to talk to Donna, I trust Donna. I want a meeting with Donna okay?~*~*~*~*
No, I don't WANT to talk to Jesus - I thought he was sooooo busy, and couldn't fit me into his schedule?! Huh?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Well, I don't appreciate you speaking for Donna. Did she tell you that YOU could refuse phone calls "for any reason?"
? ? ? ?
I thought not. Thank you, I'll hold. And, who I am speaking with please?
~~~~******
Ohhhhkaaaay....thank you. You have just bee added to the list of "for any reason!" Donna's gonna hear about this I can assure you.
*Click & Dial Tone*
Whoa- Trees. Leaves. Jesus. Call.
I think it's all a covert note written in code words.
What an oddly constructed note! "Leaf" and the comma imply the note is addressed to "Leaf." However, it then continues with "Is..." as though it is either informational as in "Leaf is replacing the plant..." with bad punctuation. Or, it could be a question lacking a conclusion as in "Leaf, Is replacing the plant... [okay?] [a good idea?] [what you wanted?]
Then it gets more confusing with the closing "If for any reason..." "If" what? "If [the plant dies] for any reason...?" If [the plant starts screaming 'Feed me Seymour'] for any reason...?" ???
Before the "Anti-Grammar Nazis" attack, please understand, I am not criticizing, just puzzled!
what's this day of rest shit? what's this bullshit? I don't fuckin care! It don't matter to Jesus ...
I guess 'Leaf' is the name of the office plant company, so ' "Leaf" is replacing the plant'.
Jesus also works for the cleaners in our building. He sure gets around ('omnipresent' is the word I think).
Jesus is kinda busy with other things right now... like making sure my favorite sports teams win and curing people from homosexuality... he doesn't have time to replace a plant right when you ask him to, okay? I mean, we can all pray and pray, but there's only so many hours in a day.
Have faith, Kelsey. 8-)
Ha ha!!! That note is so funny!
Curious, I am with you all the way. It hurts to read it. And it's not as simple as bad grammar. More like Donna has a compulsion to leave out every 5th phrase.
lol Bowie!
When Jesus returns he will be replacing those plants first thing. I also imagine he will be be laughing while he preforms this first task on his to do list!
Do you think it's supposed to read "I's replacing the plant in your reception" like a slurred ebonics version of "I is" and she just forgot the apostrophe? I's be confused.
Holy Mother of Pearl! It's too early to translate Donna-ese. Marie hit the nail on the head, this is painful to read.
Wonder if Leaf will have punch and cookie in/at his/her reception in addition to a new plant courtesy of Jesus?
I'd hate to have Jesus' schedule.
Everyone sing along!!!
Jesus Christ!!! SuperFlorist!!
Perhaps Donna is Leaf's soon to be boss and they are getting everything situated for Leaf's office or cubicle and Donna is just being helpful. Maybe Leaf is allergic to those plants and Donna is trying best she can to get some different ones.
Thanks, Turbo. Totally have that song in my head now. This note hurts my head, when i read it. It almost feels like there is some parts cut off of the note (i.e. "If for any reason", sounds like there should be more there.)
anyway. I hope jesus hs time to help with the flowers. Maybe he's making 40 flowers from the one? you know, like the fishes, and the loaves...
Jan and Turbo - you guys are responsible for my spewing my morning Dr Peppper across my desk. LOL!
Yes, my initial response was to read this as the all mighty Jesus. Just the idea of a guy dressed in robes - beams radiating around his body replacing plants amuses me. However, if he were the true 'Jesus' would he not be able to place his hands on the plants and heal them? Rise! Rise! I command.
And for the record, raised as a strict Christian - now agnostic - no - don't try to convert me - not going to happen. Favorite read lately - Letters to a Christina Nation......quite dead on. And please no haters - just a gal expressing her opinion.....please respect.
Just read my post - hahahaha! A Christina Nation! Run by Ms Applegate and Ms Aguilar. Should read Christian Nation.
Creepy!
(well, someone always has to say it)
Wow, way to make a simple note into a religious debate...
i'm pretty sure donna's dyslexic or maybe too busy to finish a sentence. you thought jesus' schedule was tight.
JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!
JESUS IS A BOTTOM-O-THE-BARREL HISPANIC
welcome back, SALT. it was bland here without you.
Amanda, in case you haven't noticed, it doesnt take much to spark any kind of debate in Found.
the paper could be blank, and people would be arguing about it. Gotta love it.
Please nobody respond to SALT. It just is not worth it.
WHAT'S NOT WORTH IT, DUDE? THE PHYSICAL STRESS BROUGHT ON BY THE EMOTIONAL THAT I PLACE ON FOUND COMMENTERS FROM EACH CORNERS OF THE EARTH?
SALT, I'm glad we're friends. Even if you do sometimes present yourself as a hate monger.
I really don't have anything to say about today's find.
Oww! Donna, dear, please please please don't try to write anything. Ever. Get Leaf to do it. Or Jesus. Good grief!
I wonder what type of plants they are and what they will be replaced with. I have a picture in my head of a pissed off ficus being carried away by Jesus and Leaf walking in with some fern or something.
I think that Jesus doesn't like leaves because he kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden for utilizing them... Let's go back to our roots and all get naked. :)
P.S. SALT -- emotional what that you place on people? beatdown?
Each corners?? that just doesn't seem right either... :)
SALT! Al Simon said it. Welcome back.
I think Donna might not be from 'round here just like Jesus. Sounds like an accent to me.
This find was boring and so not funny to me. Jesus = Jesse. Now is it funny?
This find was as bland as yesturdays.
Kelsey, Jesus didnt kick them out of the garden for wearing leaves. They put the leaves on, after gaining carnal knowledge through the whole serpent-apple thing. The leaves were an off-shoot of that (pardon the gardening pun)
And people will respond to SALT, that's why he exists. Just take him with a grain of .. um.. salt?
I don't think that's SALT - he doesn't tend to make those kinds of errors. Unless he's losing his edge from not posting for so long.
If you believe we all carry Christ consciousness, then that *would* be Jesus (even if it was Hay-seuss) movin' the plants.
THERE WERE NO ERRORS ASIDE FROM MAKING 'CORNER' PLURAL
So, Leif Erickson, in full viking regalia is coming out of the elevator to his penthouse apartment's ante-chamber (or "reception" if you will) with his face buried in a fresh Wall Street Journal and cup of coffee when Jesus, white robes, crown of thorns is mopping the floor, cuz that's his job, making shit imaculate. Then Jesus, he slips on a wet spot and falls onto Leif's battle axe spilling the viking's coffee all over the newspaper and then dying there on the floor. He's bleeding and spasming and Leif jumps into a berzerker rage, which he thougtfully contains to a few potted plants before calling Jesus' supervisor, Dyslexic Donna. Leif is ranting on the phone about the spilled coffee and the damaged greenery as Jesus mutters "why hast thou forsaken me?" and expires.
The next day, Donna leaves this note, and what she means by "fit it in his schedule" is "after he's risen from the dead again"
hahaha Rex that was a great scenario.
thanks for making me laugh :D
sounds like a plant killer..
What a difference an accent (or lack of one) makes! Haha.
Please don't feed the "BEAST."
Turbo - YOUR comment wins in my book today.
You took a painful-to-read find, and me laugh out loud. I also will have that whole musical in my head today - which is fine. Better than what was in head prior.
Sing with us everyone !
who's the beast? Rex? SALT? Turbo? Maria? Becky? Kitten? Who.. who is the beast. Or is the beast the devil? is that the beast we must not feed? does this religious discussion feed the beast? I'm going to sing now.
Rex, that was hilarious! And quite vivid too. I can totally see jesus bleeding out on the immaculate marble floor while leif is storming about on the phone, flinging soggy newspaper about.
Thank you! That made my day!
You know, Al, I just read that comment and I was wondering the same thing...
Can we elect to be a beast? I think it would be fun, myself. Slinking around, mauling incompetent IT people and singing Jesus Christ Super-Florist!
oh man, oh man. i was just oversimplifying the whole 'garden of eden' story. i was just trying to play on the words available in the letter. i was just going with the leaves being a representation of the knowledge gained by eating the apple after the WOMAN (of course) was tempted by the snake and brought about the downfall of good ol' MAN! Damn women... jeeeeez. we never can do anything right!
I think this note is a fake. That's right, I said it. FAKE.
Someone wrote it (with religious connotations, on purpose), sent it to Found and sat back to watch the debate unfold.
Rex! Rex, you're killing me.
The play must have gone well. Did you include that scene?
I'm a real beast when I'm hungry. I say ALWAYS feed the beast!
Wow. Jesus is so kind as to do personal fix-its. How do get a hold of such services??
haha. That was amusing. I know its a mortal name.
Thanks for the comment, Man behind the curtain. I forgot about that line! Excellent movie!
I'm guessing Leaf was the previous receptionist. Imagine the nightmare of using that name on the phone. I'd just change my name to "Leaf-leaf-as-in-plant-leaf Smith"
<i>i just want to be cool<i/>
It's just plain odd that a note about plants was written to someone named Leaf. Seems to me that this is probably only the 2nd part of the note. It must have started on the other side. Perhaps "...because you haven't watered the plants and due to global warming, the plants have been dying and now there is only one Leaf." ("Leaf" being the last word of the sentence begun on the previous page.) Just because it's capitalized doesn't mean it's a name or start of a sentence. Donna also capitalized "Left" mid-sentence.
Leaf, Leaves, Leave, Left
hm-m-m-m... I wonder if the English language is confusing to Jesus.
What Dave in Salem, MA is going to say tomorrow will make me laugh:
"This can't be real. . . It cannot be possible that there is this much to say about two people sticking their tongues out."
Maybe "Is" is meant to be a conjunction for "I is" but without the apostrophy.