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January 24, 2008 |
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Letter to God
FOUND by Amy Langton
in Woodstock, Illinois
I found this letter inside the book "A Walk Across America," which was being sold at an estate sale. I bought the book (and kept the letter).
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Heartbreaking.
1st Bitches! I LOVE JANET JACKSON!
this makes me sad
Awww, this is so sad. Only a little kid could ask god to forgive her. I hope s/he doesn't listen to mom's negative crap!
Oh...that is sooo sad.
What is with all these sad letters?
I work with people who go/went to "retarded" school and so many of them are treated like crap by their family because of their disability. It's just not right.
This girl is most likely now sending in submissions to Post Secret. It's certain she grew up with baggage....
oh my god, all of these awkward kids!
"Mom says i'm going to go to retarded school"?!?
besides...ahem...that statement, the two that are most poignant are "she makes no effort to help or support me." and (wait for it). "God please forgive her."
are there any adults raising their kids these days, or it only kids who are wiser than their folks?
You have to have a license to fish...but any idiot can be a parent.
Parenthood is the only profession which is vitally important to a nation's development, and which is also open to rank amateurs with not only no experience, but often no prior training or information on the subject. Babies do not come with user's manuals, either. (I really think hospitals ought to give some kind of basic care manual to each new mom instead of all those stupid product samples and coupons!)
I have so often heard women talking to their friends in the supermarket or on the street, with the child standing right there: "Oh, he's not the smart one. His sister/brother has the brains in the family." Yeah right--kids are deaf and DUMB and can't put two and two together.
You hear it often enough, you start to believe it, whatever it is, whether they say, "You're beautiful, I love you" or say "You'll never get anywhere in life, no one's ever going to love you."
Dave, Wow. Yes. Any idiot can be a parent. People who want to reproduce should take a common sense test and a pre parenting test. If thy don't pass, they have tubes tied or vasectomy.
Hell, screw it. Any person starting at the age of 15 should take the tests. MANDATORY B/C (tubligation/vas.) for ALL I D 10 T'S!!!!!
That creepy critter in the Make Out Club banner is really getting on my nerves!
Dear God,
Shonquisha is obnoxious and I don't like it. She makes no effort to stay on topic or support a normal conversation. She hates us.
Amen
P.S. Please forgive her and all other "1st" posters, but please also send them back to perezhilton.com where they belong.
Wow, I wonder if this kid ever said anything to someone at school, or an aunt or uncle or something. This is so sad. I hope they turned out alright.
Now, this is a sad note. Notice, no stars or hearts.
Although another take could be that a child is in trouble and has left this out on purpose to torment his mother. Of course, if she is really telling the child that he/she is retarded, then the mom does have issues.
I was fully sympathetic to little Margo until all of the parents of tween girls started crying Drama-Queen. Now I don't know if this is a moving plea to God from a mentally abused child, or just little Miss Drama painting her mom in a bad light because she's pouty. Maybe mom told her no, you may not have a pony/Hannah Montana tickets/whatevertheheck until your grades are better. The followed up with the typical mom speil of "if you don't try in school it'll be harder to get a good job when you're older."
That's so Christian of Mom.
"A Walk Across America"
Twenty-five years ago, a disillusioned young man set out on a walk across America. This is the book he wrote about that journey -- a classic account of the reawakening of his faith in himself and his country.
At the end of the book he happens upon a Oral Roberts revival (Turbo) and gets saved. The book is a big ole freakin Testamony. YUK.
Or maybe the kid here is the Christian and that's his/her book. Either way it's sad.
How sad is this?? I just want to hug this kiddo.
@Anna...
Agreed about the creepy critter.
so..we're hatin on moms this week. I was just on facebook, and a friend of a friend listed a bunch of things about herself, and the last thing was that she was a disappointment, although so many of her things exhibited how creative she was, and how caring, and sensitive. Why can't people be nicer to kids? Frankly, i love my offspring to death, and I'm honest with them about how smart and wonderful and thoughtful and talented they are, and also when they mess up and do things that aren't so smart.
I hope they have the same impression of how they're treated.
I believe that "critter" in the MakeOut Club banner is supposed to be a bird. The first time I saw it though, I thought a fly was buzzing around my screen.
I think this handwriting looks like a 15+year old's writing. It seems more mature than yesterday's found (the penmenship and the tone). I have a hard time thinking that it is from some girl just having a drama queen moment. It seems very patiently written (doesn't look like it was hastily written out of a fury of emotion -- like anger at having been turned down for concert tickets or something).
Poor little child, atleast he/she has their head on their shoulders unlike their mother, who is failing to see this child with a great deal of faith, and hope.... The child just needs a little support.. I wonder the age of the child.
PS- God, please convince mom to get me that pony, too.
Sounds like Mom's an asshole.
@baby basil--i agree about the basic care manual, i remember leaving the hospital with my first-born thinking "how do they know that i know what i'm doing? am i really ready for this?" i wasn't so sure then, but it all turned out fine, with some practice.
i hope this kid was just being dramatic. if not, the mother needs slapped. hard.
Pepper, it is very kind of you to recognize Oral Roberts on his 90th birthday! You should go by his retarded school and check out the praying hands! Those hands belong to Hobby Lobby now. Can't wait to decorate!
Hi, all..I am the one who submitted this letter to found. I have since lost the original, so it has been a long time since I've actually seen it! I never did read the book, as after I got it home I realized it wasn't really my type of book. At least it was only a quarter. As for the child who wrote the note, it is weird to think I might have been standing in her very bedroom that day. I wish I could have left her a note.
Anyone who can write so clearly and poignantly is clearly not retarded. I hope he or she that wrote this keeps writing.
regarding this post and margo's post, my belief is that these children are too young, way too young to be "drama queens" of the manipulative level some posters are putting them at. Margo's writing was that of a first grader or younger, this one is younger than 10. These ages, yes they're brats sometimes, but they're brats. Not evil bad seeds.
It almost feels like some of the posters who try and say this is some "drama queen" etc can't handle the fact that there are many more neglected kids out there than we would care to admit. Not full on abused, not beaten and left to starve, but neglected and misunderstood. For a child with great awareness and a big heart this can be just as damaging as a beating.
This is so SAD! I have 6 challenging individuals..and I am now a single mother...due to abuse by their father. When will parents recognize that their children need them to stand up FOR them and not against them? I'm in Illinois..she can live with me!...I'll find something good about her she can believe in.
You know, growing up as a child (It was for 3 years, I was 3 -6 years old)we lived in a townhouse, and our neighbours beside us, they had 4 children.
Anyway, all 4 children were and still are 'slow' and the second oldest, she's mildly 'mentally challenged' more than the others.
She was ALWAYS abused, emotionally, mentally, and pysically. She still lives with her parents to this day. She will never be able to live on her own, unless it was a rooming home where there are nurses and such. I believe she's 42 now.
Back on topic, because we lived right next to these people, we heard her being yelled at, and then her crying, etc...we never saw it publicly and the pysical abuse was never seen or able to be noticed on her. (probably hidden under her clothes?)
This 'FOUND' could of easily been written by her...
The mother and father always and still do favour (there are 2 boys, 2 girls)the second youngest daughter whom is the least 'slow' or 'mentally challenged'.
I'm still in touch with (We're the same age, 38)the second youngest, girl.
I will ALWAYS feel for the one daughter and the Hell her family and friends put her through. Like she was or is a leper...(SP?)
Sorry for such a long post.
What a retard this kid is.
This is really sad, but there's an upside: the kid is probably in counseling. One of the most common exercises for children dealing with issues at home is to have them write a letter about it. They either address it to the individual causing the trouble (i.e. "Mom"), or to God or whoever they see as the all-knowing power. Some kids write to Santa, some to the Easter Bunny, etc.
Besides - a child with this writing level would most certainly not be reading the book the note was found in. Perhaps the mom was, and she kept this note as a reminder, using it as a bookmark, until she finally lost it.
So maybe there's hope.
Praying, nicely put! :)
And, Hopefully Armen grew up to realize that parents are not perfect and that he/she can make his own destiny.
I think we all had times in our childhoods where our parents royally screwed up and said or did things they shouldn't have done. The way I look at it is those are lessons to learn from. I know that I will NEVER do those things to my lil ones.
What's that old saying... "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Of course, I think the opposite of everyone else as usual.
Yesterday, I felt fairly certain that the child was sincere. The tone was just light enough that it felt like a child who was used to treading lightly because of an unstable home life.
Today's find however is dripping with drama, which leads me to think that it is written by an angst ridden drama queen who got in trouble for a bad grade, thinks her Mom is unfair for punishing her and writes this note in retaliation.
True story: About a year ago my theater co. performed the play "Festen" at a local University. Without going into too much detail, the play focuses on a family gathering for the patriarch’s birthday: 2 brothers, and a sister. The second sister, twin of one of the boys, committed suicide prior to the action of the play taking place, and the climax is the reading of her suicide note in which she reveals that her father molested her. (“Dad has started taking me again, at least in my dreams anyway. I can’t go on like this. I don’t want to go on like this.”)
We made several copies of the letter since props, (especially pieces of water stained paper,) tend to go missing, and thought no more about it. Imagine our surprise, then, when we heard that one of our letters had been found and had started quite a stir. Apparently people thought it was real, and were incredibly upset. Several were even trying to track down the author, or anyone who might know the author, in an attempt to get them the help they needed.
I guess my point is, the chances of ever really knowing the full/true story behind a FIND are slim to none, but I think it’s really cool that (most) people are more inclined to take positive action and respond with compassion rather than just blow the writer off.
amy lost the original note. wouldn't it be funny if someone else found it and turned it in to found again?
I agree with diablo roja, about people being compassionate for the most part.
@ Diablo- You are very right. There are many different ways to take a situation and sometimes even those involved aren't sure what the truth is.
I agree that this is a sad letter, if it is true. As a child, when I didn't get my way I felt that I was being treated worse than any kid in the world. Clearly, I was exaggerating and being an inconsiderate brat. Although my parents never said I was going to go to "retard school" either.
@ Baby Basil- This reminds me of something that's been bothering me, for those of you who read OverHeardInNewYork. I cannot believe the kind of language people use with their (little) kids! I have a 4 yr old son and I would never dream of using profane language towards him. Occasionally a word slips out (like when I'm driving) but it's never directed AT my son. Especially never the F-word. How terrible. What's wrong with people, anyway?
PS- Thoughts & prayers w/Heath Ledger's family.
I used to make pleas with God when I was a child as well, only I never wrote them down. I just prayed and begged God whenever I was upset or wanted something really badly.
Anyway, the fact that this was written down does make it somewhat suspect. As if the author wanted someone to see it - maybe because he was being abused or because he wanted to make his mom feel bad.
May the bitch be put in a horrible nursing home and her bed sores fester causing great pain.
Sure any idiot can have kids, but parents are just people and I'm sure that even "perfect" parents have issues and regrets. I think it would also be important to remember than what you say is not always what the kid hears and they do get dramatic and they do blow things way out of proportion--it's a side effect of growing up.
Anyway, it's just my .02, but as an abused child--I never told anybody what was going on. I didn't know I was abused, I didn't go around writing it down, and I sure didn't think God was going to do anything about it.
I feel like the harshest critics of either the child or the parent are the commenters that do not have children.
Personally, I think someone needs to call the waambulance for this kid.
Waa waa waa, Mom's being mean, waa waa waa stupid, waa waa waa she hates me. As I said yesterday, I used to say my mom hated me all the time for the STUPIDEST thing. It's what you do when you're a kid, unless you grow up in a WB/CW show.
If this is legit, I would sympathize for the kid if I knew them and do everything I could to help. I have no tolerance for child abuse, domestic violence, or anything of that nature, but really, come on. I'm sure my mother threatened worse things than sending me to retard school.
Joda, you make me laugh :)
What if it's the MOTHER we should sympathize with? What if this kid is trying to sick CPS on her or something? Do people generally write down their prayers? Incidentally, all this God stuff gets creepier the more you read the note.
Waa waaa waaa she makes no effort to help or support me and my dreams of seeing Hannah Montana.
P.S. God please forgive her for making me do my homework and study instead.
My mom is the same way.
I hope God forgives her too.
I have said some of these things to people before, because IMO if they refuse to take advantage of opportunities handed to them and purposely remain ignorant, they ARE stupid and WON'T get a good job. Not that this applies to every kid who has ever been told this, but maybe mom is working 2 jobs to send her kid to a private school, and said kid prefers to play video games instead of doing homework. I'm just sayin'.
@ Dave You really hit the nail on the head.
We were actually just discussing this topic the other day. We were thinking how you need a license to drive. You need to be an adult to buy alchol or cigs or even sell your body. A license to build ,fish , and do almost anything.
Yet any Joe can become a parent or a pet owner for that same sake...We thought maybe it'd be better if you had to get testedand get a parenting licence and a pet owners licence.
Far too many people are bringing children into this world when they are still children themselves not ready for such a life changing experience even older people not just teens are making poor choices in raising children.
another depressing find.
Yeah, lets give them a test. While we're at it, let's just gather up everybody who doesn't live up to our expectations and match our absolute perfection and gas the fuckers.
Uh oh. I threaten my kids with "retarded school" all the time.
So the "retarded school" thing is wrong? hmmm.
Tre's father in "Boyz in the Hood" said it best:
"Any fool with a dick can make a baby. It takes a man to be a dad."
Regardless of today's Find, I've always been a strong advocate for parenting licenses. I've been called a fascist for it too.
I know this seems to be serious, but all I could think about when I read it was D.L. Hughley's, "Dear God...she's f*cking it up for EVERYONE...I hate her..." routine about mothers. I am sure it is on YouTube, but since that is blocked here at work, I can't help you.
But on the serious note, if indeed this note is for real, it is very unfortunate. Some parents say things in the heat of anger and their ignorance can scar a kid forever. If I had kids, I would never call them names. "Stupid" is a very powerful word and a terrible name to call a child. It can be completely disabling.
This is so sad. I wish parents would realize the emotional impact they have on their children. Growing up in a family where my parents have always wanted the best for my siblings and I, I cannot imagine them telling us we're retarded or anything of that nature. They have nurtured us and helped us out when we had trouble with homework or life problems. I hope everybody can learn from this sad, sad letter the impact they can have on their children and other people in general. Always encourage others, be happy for them in their triumphs and help them in their times of need. Someday you will need the same favor.
i feel like crying.
i hate depressing finds,
but without them this site
wouldn't be the same.
i second what Dave said.
I was a child (many years ago) and I raised two children, so I think I have some experience on this topic (but then, so do most of the commenters).
I NOW know that many of the things my mother and grandmother and aunt said to me as I was growing up were very hurtful, and would today be considered abuse. I didn't go through counselling or turn into a serial killer because of it, but I did resolve never to speak to my children in that way. I also decided that I would do whatever I could to take advantage of my education opportunities so that their statements about my mental abilities would be proven wrong. I did, and they were, and they never acknowledged it, but I have the inner satisfaction of knowing who and what I am.
People, we have to stop letting stuff that happened in our childhoods ruin the rest of our lives. That is giving those people way more power than they deserve.
I'm not saying to restrict people from having kids, just people should have to pass a common sense test to have them. Why should I pay taxes to raise someones child when they should have kept their legs closed?
1 question should be on that test
1. If you can't afford to have a child, should you have sex?
If I am required to pass a drug test to work and pay taxes, why shouldn't those needing assistance from the government be required to pass a drug test too?
Is this week a series of notes from the kids who grow up to be akward, dress oddly and hold things that are vaguely disturbing?
I used to write letters to God too. I'd go walking along paths behind our house and find a good place to leave them. I thought eventually out there, being rained on and in nature he would find my message.
Umm, can we get a social servies consult here? Maybe Tom Cruise can swoop in and help this family?...
my step-father is a recovering alcoholic (sober for well over 10 years). i'm in grad school. when i had an extremely overwhelming week, he counseled me on one way people struggling with addiction in AA deal the feeling of being overwhelmed.
he told me they sit down and "write a letter to God." i tried it. it helped tremendously.
this "Dear God" letter reminds me of that exercise, even the post script. it seems like it would make sense that an emotionally abused or neglected child might have access to self-help strategies offered by 12-step programs.
okay...you people who say you "I will never call my child stupid" or other things, listen up. When you work from 6am to 3pm, pick up the kids from school, help them with some outrageous homework on some obscure beetle, mow the lawn, start dinner and think you can sit down for five minutes to pay a bill, and turn to see your 10 year old playing with a broken bottle he dug out of the trash, you may not be so nurturing at that moment. You may actually YELL, "hey, put that down right now (fill in blank with negative name such as dummy or retard)." The fact of the matter is, people who play with broken glass, play in the street, or practice their baton twriling near my Lenox collection are stupid. It's not name calling, it's presenting the facts. God forgive her? Uh...God's on HER side, stupid!
I have sex all the time without having babies. It's called Birth Control!!!
Both of my children were planned and I do not plan on having anymore. With that said, though, there is no moral way to prevent people from having sex and procreating. I mean, I think the Chinese used to force women to have their tubes tied after the birth of two children and I think the United States felt that was a human rights abuse!
My advice is to worry about the only procreation you can control - your own. If you have children, try to educate them. But keep the government hands off of my damn body.
They should have a special box to check on your driver's license to allow you to procreate in your car.
Tess, It appears that this note could have been written about you.
I have a job, children, the homework and the daily stress that you describe. You need to conduct yourself at home as you would at work. You wouldn't last very long if you treated your co-workers that way. Yes kids do crazy things but you need to correct the action not brow beat them for it. Adults playing in the street or with broken glass are stupid not children.
It's easier to replace a Lenox collection than a childs self-asteem.
Amen, Dave in CA! I'm horrified to hear of anyone justifying calling their child a "Dummy" or a "retard". Yes, children can be exasperating, but as adults and certainly as parents it's up to us to maturely guide them in the right direction. I am a mother and a wife and I work full-time. That is hardly an excuse to yell esteem-shattering, nasty things at your children!
Dave,
You're missing the point. No one can be a perfect parent. I didn't have perfect parents, they didn't have perfect parents and I am not a perfect parent. I am adequate. I also do not believe in "child centered" universe. She can practice her baton outside, he can't dig in the trash and some behavior is not acceptable no matter how they "feel" and no matter if they are under or over 21.
I have a feeling that behind this note is a mother who "lost it" for a few minutes during an attempt to give the kid a reality check.
One time I asked my kids to score me as a mother on a scale of 1-10. One being the worst and 10 being the best. The oldest gave me a 8 because sometimes I forget stuff. The youngest gave me an 8. She said she would give me a 10 if I never said a cuss word again. I can live with an 8.
And one more thing, just because I have kids doesn't mean can't have nice things. I'm allowed to have nice things. Her self-asteem (sic) is not changed by my saying "take it outside."
Let the fireworks begin!
...looking for Jonathan. Anybody see him lately? Where IS the British contingent?
"Joooonnnnnathaaaannnn...."
I'm with "Dave in CA" and "AZgirl". I don't have any kids of my own but I do baby-sit my young niece and nephew frequently (after working 10 hour days!!) It is sometimes hard to be patient - like when my niece drew all over the underside of our incredibly expensive coffee table with sharpie markers, or the time my nephew played Transformers with my mom’s collection of Hummel figurines - but what people seem to forget is that you can’t apply adult sensibilities to a kid! If one of my adult cousins decided it was a good idea to kick a football around in my Great-Aunt’s antique crammed house we would all shout “What are you doing dummy?!?” because they understand that there is a very good chance the football with ricochet off something and cause an epic disaster. Kids, for the most part, haven’t experienced anything like that (yet!) and so don’t understand the potential. When I was younger my parents (often through clenched teeth) would patiently explain to me WHY what I was doing was a very, very bad idea. If I persisted in doing it I was not called stupid, or retarded, but it was brought to my attention that I should know better.
(Actually, funny side note: My nephew recently pushed my niece over and I heard her tell him “Brandon you know better!” That made me laugh, since she’s only three. My mother’s influence is spreading to the next generation! )
@terrie: yes parents make mistakes, but there is NEVER any excuse to tell your child they are going to retard school.
People like this poor kid's mother should be drug out onto the street and shot in the head.
:(
It's too bad we can't read the truth inside people's hearts.
Nadine- I love how freely you were able to share your sex life with all of us. I have sex all the time too.
@tess you are a horrible person. May God forgive you.
If you shot the kid's mom in the head, you would most assuredly ruin the child's life forever.
Jeez - where is the common sense around here? I think people who make comments like that should be banned from having children.
My god - no one is perfect.
Like I say to my kids, if you want unconditional love get a dog or talk to Jesus. The rest of us have conditions.
Then i would be the child's mom
Ooooooh!
Aaaaaah!
@Nadine:
There no birthcontrol that is 100% sure, 100% free and 100% not harmfull for the environement and body. When we get there (wich is really soon, but thats a different story) we will all be able to go and "plans" childrens. But until then, unplanned littles cuties sunshines will still be born.
I think in the old mentality, when you give someone a roof, food and a warm bed, its engouh to make the person happy.
I saw parents annoyed at childs that was a "little more cares", those a little bit slower. Parents that are worry for their kids future and insteed of saying "I'm affraid for you, I love you and I want to try hard so we can find something you can be good and that you like" will say things like "if you not trying hard engouh i put you in retard's school" Parent that dont realise too that the words they use are hurtfull...
I saw familly that was doing very well financially, having food, private school, and the new cool toys arround.... and still have abused childrens. Kids being yelled at because they "only" got a 90% score on a test when they should had 100%. Kids being slapped because they didnt score goal at a important hockey game. You know, those parent that have trophy kids, those kids ready to do anything for their parent NOT to be ashamed of them. Like if their parent was always ashamed of them anyway.
I saw parents that think they messed up their life and dont want the same happenning to their kids. And when they see them making the same mistakes, get scared. Parent that cant understand their kids are their kids... they are not them. Pushing them harder, too hard, so they dont make the same mistakes.
Maybe we need a license to be parent. But maybe we all need a "healty communication" class too....
What i think it is here, is a mother, incredibly under-skilled to tell things to her childrens, prolly overwealm by the situation, a mother that never was teached or raised to communicate in a good way...she need help...
... because she really screwing up her daughter life and she dont even realise it ... or maybe she does? and dont know how to fix it?
It doesnt excuse her tho...
PS: Anyone have the feeling that the "She makes no efforts to help and support me" is a adult sentence in a child's mouth? Or its been put in the kid's mind? "Your mother dont make efforts to help and support you, come live with your daddy" or "Your father never mades efforts to help or support me, i hate him!" or "No one help and support me..." etc?
Kids do bad things when they're not supervised. withnail, just be glad it was the underside of your coffee table. What does it really matter, if that was drawn on? Actually, i would think it was cool, if i bought said coffeetable, at an auction.
I remember when my kids were 2 yrs old, and they were playing quietly in their room. I'm thinking..sigh..isnt this nice, them playing quietly, me reading a magazine... Then went to check on them... in their hair.. on their beds, in their bedding... all over the place, Vicks vapo rub. Do you know how difficult that is to get out of your hair? I had to laugh. They didn't know they were causing loads of laundry, and down on my knees washing. They were just having fun. Did i call them stupid?? no... i was the stupid one, for not realizing that quiet children mean someone's getting into something. I'm not saying i've never yelled at them, with what seems to be little provocation. But kids being kids is not stupid, is not retarded.
Isn't it the approval that has conditions, rather than the love?
My god, I can't just imagine being able to turn love off.
Like, say Tess. There is never a reason to call your kids stupid. Kids can't tell lenox china from dollar store stuff. Put it away if you don't want it broken. Keep the trash can closed if you dont want the broken glass played with. Put the markers away if you don't want stuff written on. Simple. Supervise your kids, give them guidance, give them safe places to play. Dont call them names. EVER.
Some of the comments on here make me so angry. This note makes me sad as the youthful me could've written that. I wasn't a drama queen, I worked hard, yet I was constantly belittled and unsupported by my mother. It's nice that this girl's got God to talk to - and that she's wanting forgiveness for her mum. Personally, knowing now the psychological effect this kind of stuff has on kids, I'm not so forgiving.
Mona: heh, yeah, it's actually pretty cool looking. But we don't tell her that:-P
One time when we were around seven my best friend and I covered every available inch of skin with blue glittery eye-shadow, blue eye-liner, and blue ink pen... My mom laughed so hard she cried. We looked like sparkly Smurfs. (I think we still have pictures somewhere…) Then, while she spent HOURS trying to get us clean, she explained why we probably shouldn't do that again.
PS. No security question?!
I've got a pre-teen at home who is testing his independence. It's so scary for me to let him ride his bike 3 whole blocks to his friend's all alone. But I know it's time, and all I can do is try to make sure he is prepared.
Now, when he doesn't come home on time, or if he lies about where he's been, I do have to come down on him. I try very hard not yell, but be firm and consistent.
I don't call him names, but I have lost my temper. But this boy is strong-willed and I have to be just as strong-willed to keep him on the right track. We live in the middle of the city and I don't want to lose him.
No, Tess Her self-esteem may not be changed by hearing "take it outside." However, it may be by hearing, "take it outside, Retard!"
Inconditionnal love?
I was sure that was a Parent/Kid thingie. I have inconditionnal love for my parents, even tho they are not perfect, And i i hope my childrens, even with their all "I hate you, i wanted to go to that concert" and the "Caroline's mom is so much better than you, you suck" still love me anyway, accept and understand my mistakes and forgive me for them, like i forgive them.
Its BECAUSE its unconditionnal love that things like that letter, those mother exist. Because any others person, co-workers, friends, adults, supermarket clerks... NO ONE ELSE will accept being called a retard...
... dont go abusing your childrens's unconditionnal love for you...
Oh and if you show your kids what is fragile, how it is fragile, why it is important for you... They will respect it. I did lets childrens very close of some very expensive electronics devices, explaining them clearly that if they are too young, to ask a adults and when they can manipulate things, they can manipulate it carefully. They are proud that you lets them use something "adults" and trust me, they will take good care of it.
People dont trust their kids engouh. Of course they are bound to break something somewhere... like ANYBODY ELSE. Its a choice i make... 10 000$ electronics systems for music, tv an video... vs my childrens self estime and pride.
Screw that Motu and the MacBook, my kids worth more than that. Nothing worth more than my kids. Ever.
PS @ withnail:
No security question if you write twice in a row or something like that ~
PS2 @ Nadine:
Btw, you wasnt expressing you having a sexual life. You was making the point of the fact its possible to have sexual activity whitout getting pregnant. Dont worry about it. Some people maybe understood it wrong, but not all.
@Lily - That's okay. I thought it was funny.
Enough with the mothers-who've-emotionally-tortured-their-children finds for a couple days, OK?
I'm definitely going to be on the lookout for finds of the "happy" variety after submitting this one! I feel bad that it's caused such disagreement between people.
It's nice to know that my parenting warrants being dragged out into the street and shot in the head. I guess everyone else is being raised by Mother Teresa and the Virgin Mary. I feel so sorry for my kids now. They are bound to grow into incredible authors or artists as this is always guaranteed to happen when a childhood is less than blissful.
Here's the deal. You can and should put away all the good and the dangerous stuff when the kids are little. But around age 10, kids can take instruction and do know that not everything is to be touched. Some things are just to be admired. They do get the concept of respecting other people, their space and their pocessions.
Because a baby cannot speak do you not talk to the baby? Of course you do because language takes years to develope. You don't wait till the baby is five and then say "hey, let's learn language." This is true of developing a conscience or any concept. At some point the trash can be kept under the sink, and the markers in the low drawer. The rules are put in place and if they break the rules someone corrects them and sometimes someone may get a little ticked off. Am I supposed to wait till the kid is 35 before introducing the concept that not everything is a toy?
And this self-eseteem issue if bugging me. I think folks are giving their kids psudo-self-esteem which turns into self-entitlement, not genunine self-reliance and self-respect. No, I'm not always the tender earth mother. But the world requires both a tender heart and a tough skin.
As a parent I think of myself as a factory. My product is not a child but an adult. I want my product to go out into the world and make a place for himself and not be returned for faulty parts, missed pieces or the old lemon law. I want him to work well and do his job, be productive. Never expressing anger or disappointment in a child's behavior is dishonest.
I was a MAJOR drama queen when I was growing up. My parents teased me about it, but not in a belittling way, ever. My own children are the same way. My Mom says I had it coming. :o) I totally would have written a letter like this to my Mom, too. It would have pushed every one of her buttons. I'm not saying it can't be sincere, but in my own experience it probably isn't.
Here's the scenario as I envision it.
The child doesn't love the academic scene. He/She doesn't do homework regularly and goofs off in class. The child is probably reasonably smart- based on this letter- but has trouble applying his/her self. Mom and Dad are at their wits end trying to help the child but aren't getting through to them because the child is stubborn (as most of the drama people I know usually are) and so when report cards come out and they have bad grades the child gets in trouble, the parents freak out and tell him/her that they are dissapointed. The rest of the conversation would probably go something like this...
"How could you do something so stupid?! If you'd just turned in your homework everyday you'd have a whole letter grade higher here! You're too smart for these kind of grades. If you keep this up you'll never pass 3rd grade and your teachers will put you in the slow class and the only job you'll get when you grow up is digging ditches!!"
The child says "How can you call me stupid? You never support me! It's not me, it's the teacher. That teacher doesn't like me and you don't care! You NEVER listen to my side, you HATE me!"
Then they storm to their room, slam the door have a good cry and write this letter in their journal.
Yup.
I was that child. :o)
I've been waiting for this board to get some of its edge back. Now that that seems to be happening, I attribute it to the triumphant return of Jo.
CalmlyUnaware, You choose to believe that those are Mom's actual words, I choose to entertain the possibility that those were not Mom's actual words.
You should hear my kids when they're huffy and talking about the misery that is their lives. They're great kids, well behaved, not spoiled, not beaten or abused, and I have never called them retarded. They don't have all the expensive crap their friends might have, but I've tried to teach them about the things that are "really important" instead, they don't go hungry, they have a roof, they get plenty of hugs and love yous--they're still kids and they act like it when they don't get their way. I'm not perfect, not even close, but I at least hope that nobody thinks I should be taken outside and shot when I mess up or fall off the ball.
I know there is a thing called birth control. However bc isn't 100% effective. Everyone knows what the outcome of failed bc is....a baby. If you can't raise a baby is your bc happens to fail, then abstain. My bf and I use bc, but we know that if it should fail and I get pregnant, we can take care of that child. People who can't afford to take care of a child should abstain until they can.
And there is no problem with expressing anger and disappointment to a child. But use tact. Calling them a f*ing idiot, retarded, or other degrading words is not the way. You should explain why you are disappointed or angry and why they should be remorseful. A childs self esteem depends on how they are treated and spoken to. If you want a child to grow up to be an adult that is responsible and a productive member of society you should use praise in good and explanations in as calm a manner as possible in bad. Calling names is never acceptable in anger.
I'm with Flargy. Mom seems like a dick. I hope the kid has other adults around who let her know that she's okay. Plus there's God. That is, if there is God. Know what I mean?
One time I gave my kids candy corn for dinner. Just candy corn. Nothing else. What's the punishment for that?
Tess, your kids should be taken away until you can pass the test.
Excuse me, ELEE, but you first claimed "People who want to reproduce should take a common sense test and a pre parenting test. If thy don't pass, they have tubes tied or vasectomy."
That's what I was commenting on. Because that mentality is whacko in my opinion.
that p.s. is one of the saddest, sweetest things i've ever seen, and strangely enough, as horribly heartbreaking as this letter is - not to mention the %^@#!& up world that could produce such a situation - it is this p.s. that gives me hope for human-kind in general.
Rotten's Brilliant Controversial Plan #59:
There are too many stupid people having children. There are also too many people who have children when they are completely unable to properly care and support a child (much less have more than one). I propose that it become law that all males should have vasectomies at puberty (paid for by the government). Later, when the male and the specific female intended to be said male's mate can prove that the couple are financially sound, not complete morons, and can prove they have some idea of how to properly raise a child (think psychological examinations, for one), then the government shall reverse the vasectomy. Once the happy couple have managed to create their little bundle of joy, poppa gets re-snipped.
Want another kid? Go through the original process all over again.
Sure, some of you are probably thinking that this is probably infringing on some rights somewhere and that the government doesn't need to be involved in baby making. Well, too bad. The Catholic Church doesn't need to be involved in baby making either, but that doesn't stop them.
Besides, you have to have a license and prove some competency to drive a car, hunt, own a gun, etc... shouldn't you at least prove that you have some measure of responsibility before creating another human being?
I'm not saying you have to make $100k a year and score a 1600 on your SATs, but hell, I'd like there to at least be some planning involved. If you have to fill out paperwork and have your man parts screwed around with, I'm guessing you've at least thought about having a kid as opposed to a couple of 16 year old kids who either didn't get (thanks religious nuts!) or didn't pay attention to sex ed.
Added bonus: "Single" woman gets knocked up? Chances are pretty good somebody's cheatin'!
Sure there are potential problems like back-alley reverse vasectomies and such, but let's face it, men are really squeamish about other men messing around down there. And two points about that:
I say men because how many women are really going to do a back alley reverse vasectomy on some guy unless that guy is going to get them pregnant?
Women may have the guts to give birth or abort a fetus, but guys get close to tears just watching somebody get kicked in the crotch. Caveman acts tough, but caveman is a big wuss in regards to nether pain.
It doesn't really have to be that difficult to get approved for the "stork" license. Use the Kia method... "Do you have a job? Do you have $199?"
Maybe not that basic, but I mean you can weed out the completely unacceptable situations right off the bat. High School drop out that works the cash register at Wal-mart? As the great Magic 8-Ball once said: "Outlook not so good."
I'm not usually a big proponent of having the government step in and force responsibility down the populace's throats (or loins as the case may be), but in this case I make an exception. There are a lot of things that we're running out of on this planet.... humans are not one of them.
Uh...I said I gave my kids CANDY CORN not heroin!
Candy Corn!??! Yuck! That stuff is evil!
Having a license doesn't mean you drive well or responsibly. Anybody who lives in California can tell you that. I deem that system a failure, therefore not very useful for comparison. Same goes for being of age to drink, smoke, vote, etc...fail, fail, fail. Irresponsibility runs rampant in all aspects of life.
Terrie~ my meaning has been taken out of context completely. why should people who aren't ready for kids and can't take care of them, have kids?
I'm all for people who are READY, WANT, and can TAKE CARE OF kids to have them. But irresponsible people who have NO common sense shouldn't have them.
I apologize if I've offended you. I probably should have worded it differently.
But I still feel strongly about the drug testing. If they expect help from the government, they should have a monthly drug test. I get randomly drug tested to pay taxes...
That is just my two cents. Again, I apologize if I've offended anyone.
Hey, Tess, just be glad nobody is shooting you in the head.
ELEE, you haven't offended me. You don't have anything to apologize for.
ELLEE, I'm not offended either. What you say is obvious, but totally unrealistic. There is no way to stop people from having sex without violating their rights. And you know what sex eventually leads to, whether you are ready or not for it.
"You little retarded dummies, get in here and eat your candy corn supper!"
I agree that this is a sad note, but I think we can't be too quick to call mom the bad guy. I mean, I totally agree that parents should watch what they say to their kids and not threaten them with "retarded school." but what was going on in Mom's life that may have caused this.
I, for one, could have written this note many times when I was younger. My brother and I were homeschooled, and even as young as 1st or 2nd grade, Mom used the threaten to send us to public school if we didn't straighten up. As militant homeschoolers, all I knew about public school was that they had guns and pregnant people and mean teachers there. So that was my "retarded school," and I always saw it as a fate worse than death. I can't remember if I was particularly bad or anything, but I have since found out that my mom was, at the time, struggling with clinical depression. It wasn't so much that we were bad, it was that she felt overwhelmed by life in general. Anyway, I turned out fine. Ended up at a baptist middle school, a catholic high school, a methodist college, and am now considering a buddhist grad school. And my brother is about to graduate from the dreaded public school system.
I said all that to say, lets not just write off the author's mom as a bad mother, or a bad person, or someone unfit to parent at all. Maybe she's just a person who is doing her best.
I don't think this was a drama queen thing at all...I went through being called stupid and worthless ever since I was little, not only by my parent, but by kids around me.
(For the record, I've had straight As in advanced classes since first grade...)
A lot of people have been through the same thing (and much, much much worse.)
and sometimes it just helps to write it down.
Terri,
Obviously I took the test. I got two blue lines. If you know what I mean.
Here comes the short bus to take you to the 'special school'!
I love Woodstock! It's the cutest little town. There's an old fashioned town square with an historic opera house and fun shops and places to eat and drink. It's also where the movie 'Ground Hog's Day' filmed.
1. the girl is middleschool, and just finished reading "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" (which was banned for awhile because it mentions- gasp- periods.)
2. yep, moms sometimes say bad stuff. mine did- thought i was retarded in third grade because they were making me take tests. she gave me the whole 'we still love you though you are special' speech (which i still remember) turns out i was being tested because i was smart and they wanted me to skip a grade. still, the loving-tho-negative speech is what stuck.
3. yep, i'm a mum and one of those meany public school teachers. i wish i had a dollar for everytime the kids call each other retard. (not to mention every and any other name possible) it's high school, and they still haven't learned new adjectives. (i am SO gonna downsize you, underproductive counter-capitalist that you are!)
4. and yeah, for tess, i will be 'brave' and admit telling my teenager that he acted like a dumbass for leaving the dog tied out in the rain and the animal control came and got the dog and i had to pay a kabillion dollars, get lectured and feel like crap because my sweet max spent all day in dog-jail, came home with kennel cough.... but in the grendel's defense, i also acknowledged that it was his *behavior* not *him*, and that i quite oftenly act the dumbass as well.
5. and yeah, grendel's name is grendel. how damaging is that? bad mum. bad bad bad mum.
Tess, You need to make a copy of this thread.
Someday you're going to be in a resthome wondering why your kids never visit. So instead of yelling at the nurses "Hey you stupid retard!!!. Where are my kids???". You can pull this out and sadly remember why.
You'll always have that Lennox collection though...
and yeah, i can't spell, frequently make up words, use puncuation creatively and write in all small cause it makes me happy. and no, i don't write like this around the kids @ school.
um, make me happy and add a spell check to this? it really is embarassing.
So.... books, religion, and parenting. The most incendiary topics on Found.
Sorry, but to me this note doesn't even seem to be written by a kid. Not saying it's a fake find- I just don't think a kid wrote it.
Tess, throw in some gummy bears for protein next time (hey- they're meat, right?).
This topic will never meet a resolution that everyone can "agree" on.
Some parents suck. For some people, parenthood sucks. But "D in My Happy Place" really said all that needs to be said: If you have kids, be a good parent. And if you had bad parents, deal and move on. Be your own parent, and treat yourself with dignity and respect. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. Abuse, whether physical, emotional, sexual, psychological or substance, tends to be cyclical. If you happen to be part of any such cycle, be the one to break it.
For those of you who have yet to procreate, watch what you say. Those of you who are vowing that you'll never ever ever call your child a name, ever? Check back after you've been a parent for at least 6 or 7 years. Give us an update. I've never called my kids stupid, idiot, moron or retard, but I will confess that "dippy" has escaped my lips on occasion. (No, not dipshit. Dippy.)
Yes, parents are human, but I do question the wisdom of some.
I know a girl who screams obscenities at her family, pulls hair, flies into rages and locks herself into her room sobbing, etc. A teenage drama queen?
Nope- a mother who is a family therapist.
Scary....
CuriousKat in Lake Geneva...I love Lake Geneva! We go in the summer all the time; it's just great.
I haven't really commented much about this letter, because I didn't want to get into any heated debate. But my thought is, none of us will ever know the true story behind it, so we can't choose sides. I can see writing something like this when I was young, just to be dramatic, or get attention, or maybe just just to leave it around where my mom would see it if she had previously pissed me off. It might not even be true..maybe an exaggeration of what the mother really said. Maybe the mother didn't even use the word retard. She can't defend herself right now. I can also see that some parents really act like this and leave their children emotionally scarred. If that was the case here, than shame on that mom. And shame on the rest of the parents who do the same.
I can't believe with all the perfect parents and grat policy-makers on this site, we can't make a better world.
And Tess, I think you should be at the head of it, because you're trying. And you're willing to admit you haven't done everything perfectly, and your kids think you are an 8, and that is good enough for me. Thanks for trying to instill a sense of responsibility.
<now, back to your regularly scheduled love-fest>
*oops...I meant "THEN" shame on that mom.
...corn is a vegetable after all, so how bad could it be??? I would have loved being your kid, Tess.
Soon after my last daughter went off to college and the nest was empty, DH and I treated ourselves to Dairy Queen Blizzards for dinner one night. And YES it did spoil our dinner. You're right, Just Checking In, is is never too late to have a happy childhood :)
I just can't believe all these notes that little girls write ! Yikes ! Poor kid. Hopefully she'll have a lot of positive influences in her life as time goes on.
This has been touched on in some other posts, but I just wanted to reemphasize it, because I don't think that Tess quite understands its importance: there is a pretty big difference between calling an action stupid and calling a person stupid.
Sure, if you have the flu and work a 12 hour shift and are late on rent and come home to find your five-year-old flushing your only pair of car keys down the toilet you might wail, "How could you do such a stupid thing!" in frustration. However, the difference between that and screaming, "You're such a fucking retard!" is night and day.
We all do stupid things; each of us learns that pretty young. But to have one of the people that's closest to you judge you as worthless or stupid, even in a moment of weakness, can really screw a kid up, especially if it happens often. It can also inspire them, but either way it will shape the adult they become.
Dave,
My kids are not my 401K or my elder care plan. With any luck the Lenox will survive to be passed on to them at my death!
Once my kids have completed their educations, as far as I am concerned, they owe me nothing.
But,just to let you know, even if you don't belittle you kids and call them dirty names they may grow up and hate you anyway.
And about the candy corn...I took it from a stranger.
Seems to me that losing your cool after a major, isolated incident, such a wrye explained, while not earning you a parent of the year, is still a far cry from trying to JUSTIFY calling your children dreadful names. I would never suggest that kids don't put parents to the test, I have been frustrated to tears by my daughter at times. But I have never told her she is retarded or a dummy or whatever therapy-inducing drivel some folks on this board seem to think is acceptable speak to a child.
Continually trying to defend an irresponsible viewpoint with anecdotes about your poor parenting skills is just the icing on the cake. We get it; you are awful to your kids. Quit already.
Lay off Tess, you judgenmental bitches. She put a roof over their heads she can fill it with Lenox if she wants to, and if they act retarded she can tell them. You're a bunch of pussies.
It is too bad that kid believed in something that does not exist...god is the one that stuck him/her with that parent, so why ask him/her for help?..
Tess, I loved candy corn right up until I was about 20 or 21 years old. Since then, I can eat 2 or 3 pieces each year before I get sick of it. It just tastes different now. If you had fed it to me for dinner when I was 8, you would have won "Mom of the Year," hands down. I think that if a parent does something like that once in a great while, it creates such an awesome chance to bond with your kids. You can make them deliriously happy for one night by doing something usually forbidden, a little bit crazy, but relatively harmless in the long run. It's something they'll probably never forget.
To quote Bill Cosby's kids..."Dad is great! Give us the chocolate cake!"
Looking at today's posts...has everybody been in novel-writing class lately or what?
Let's hope tomorrows topic is something political
by "retarded" you all mean "able," "diligent," "funny," and "loving," right?
i think moronic is a better word.
not for the kids.
I am an adequate mother:
1. I did not drink or smoke during my pregnancies.
2. I breast fed all my children.
3. My children were in daycare only long enough for my husband and I to arrange our schedules otherwise (about 1.5 years all total).
4. The children attend a private school.
5. I volunteer over 100 hours a year at the school (I work full time too).
6. I bake cookies every week and pack lunches.
7.I am home every evening with my kids.
8. I read to my kids.
9. When my kids were asked if I ever played favorites they all responded YES - each child felt he/she was the favorite!
10. Sometimes we have candy corn (just candy corn) for dinner.
11. None of my kids have body image issues or low self esteem.
12. They all fight to sit next to me on the couch.
12. My teenager told me I am a complete embarrassment to her whenever we go to the mall.
(I think this alone proves I'm doing my job).
13. Sometimes I say or do the absolute wrong thing and then I get on with my parenting.
And all of that justifies calling them names?
Come on lady....
Rainy Dave - you said it all!
wow tess.
you really need some help.
just because children stress you out, gives you NO right to call them stupid.
my own mother calls me stupid every single day, and its really ruined the way i have relationships i have with other people.
you need to learn that children are fragile.
go ahead and tell me they deserve it, but no child deserves that.
Tess, I've re-read this entire thread and have now stepped off of my soapbox.
Your words struck a chord with me. I too volunteer with kids. I coach Little league and soccer. It breaks my heart to see parents just dump their kids off at practice and games and show no intrest. When they do they yell at them for doing poorly. Granted this isn't with every child, just a few. This past baseball season I had a kid (8 year old) who at the begining of the season couldn't throw a ball 10 feet. His parents dropped him off and only came to a couple of games. By the end of the season this kid made vast improvements and was my starting 1st baseman.
The last game of the season his parents came and he missed a throw at first and it caused us to lose the game. His dad came unglued and yelled at him in front of the whole crowd using some of the same words discribed in your post. The kid was hurt and embarrassed. It was all I could do to keep from stomping him into the ground. After the game the kid approached me and said "Are you proud of me coach?". It took me awhile to answer him do to the tears in my eye's and lump in my thoat. I bent down and hugged him and said "you were my best player" and you could see the pain just drain from his face. I hope I get to coach him again next year.
The reason for this rant is I was attacking your words. Not you pesonally. Harsh words hurt. Verbal abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse.
After reading your list I'll bet you are a Great Mom. I guess a little candy corn for dinner isn't such a bad thing.
I'm done for now. I hope tomorrows Find is something funny!!!
I like it when my mom calls me Stinky or Pinhead, because I'm completely fragile and my self esteem is completely dependent on her and it puts me right over the edge.
And then she says, "no candy corn for you, Little Stupid" and I cry and cry.
waa waa waa
That's just so sad...
I can't even fathom having a mom like that. I hope this kid turns/turned out okay...
):!
Tess, I passed that test too!! I got a pink! (It was one of those old style tests where you had to mix stuff and like a bathroom scientist).
I call my kids "Ingus Domingus" sometimes just "Ingus" because it's shorter, sometimes "Dingus" because that's where it came from,--it doesn't seem to be doing enough damage, they think it's funny.
Man, Tess, you seem like such a C U Next Thursday, if you know what I mean.
Turbo, I hear they had a hard time putting those hands up because they kept stretching out in a give me money sort of way.
Catyia, waambulance, Ha Ha that's too funny. I'll have to remember that one when I'm verbally torturing my kids.
Mona, Fuck Heath Ledger he's just an (rich) actor, think of all the folks that are suffering that really deserve our sympathies. However, I realize you said to think of his family and that I can agree with, but fuck Heath. It was selfish, even if it was an accident.
About the find, even though this sounds harsh kids need to know that sometimes they aren't good enough so they'll have something to strive for. (I do agree it does sound bad and nothing I would say to my kids if I wasn’t PMSing.)
As a parent, the never say never rule has been broken many times. No doubt my children will break it with their children, that's just life. So I try not to feel too guilty. (Try the operative word)
Let's dissect this find:
"Mom is making fun of me and I do not like it."
As a parent, it is NOT your job to ridicule your children; they will get enough of this elsewhere.
"She is saying that I am stupid and will never get a good job."
Yes, frustrated Mom, but even if the kid wanted tickets to a concert, and the answer was no, to tell your kid that they will never amount to anything because they want something more than can be afforded is to put them on the path to achieving just that (being worthless).
"She makes no effort to help or support me."
All of those parents out there - how many kids realize the definition of support - this is actually a very advanced concept for a child. This is an adult statement. Children are not little adults, they are children.
A drama queen would say "my parents are so unfair; they never let me do anything; they're soooo mean."
Tess, stop calling your kids retards or stupid. It is setting them up for making fun of people who may actually be mentally challenged. You make fun of them, they take it out on others - nasty cycle.
You sound like a good Mom, but please, tell them their actions are stupid - not they are stupid (world of difference).
I think that whatever this child is going through hurts. Mom is not comforting him/her but instead taking out her frustrations on the child. C'mon folks, if the people who brought you into this world are so immature to lash out at their children (you're adult problems, wants, needs, are unknown to your kids) can't we have at least a little compassion for the person who wrote this letter?
Sound off.
I agree with lots of parts of this day's discussion, but don't have time to get into it all right now. However, I think Tess is a far cry from Britney Spears, the ultimate spoiled child.
and yes, i can't wait to see what fun tomorrow brings.
There is a difference between supporting kids and doing it all for them. A lot of parents I know do everything, including their child's homework projects, and call it "support." Also some kids I know won't go to the effort to look a word up in a dictionary or think through an idea. They just want the teacher to feed them the answer.
There's very little comment on the writer's punctuation and spelling skills. I'm pretty impressed, actually.
I will tell you the one thing that bothers me the MOST about that note. The word "of" in the first line. The only word, the only letters in the entire note in cursive. Why?
Mona Lisa in the Louvre said: "amy lost the original note. wouldn't it be funny if someone else found it and turned it in to found again?"
Oh God NO! I think it would be awful. What if someone was new at Found HQ, and didn't have an intimate, comprehensive knowledge of each and every previously posted Find? Can you imagine how many people would be screaming "foul!!" if Found posted this again, even ten years from now?
They'd be accused of Find Recycling, fingers would be pointed, blame would be placed, and it would make for an unenjoyable day of comments. Let's hope that the original letter either stays Lost, or Amy Finds it again, maybe tucked into another book in her own book case.
@ Wrye: You're kidding me. They banned "Are You There God?" because it mentions **periods**? In my rural town in the 70's it didn't get banned because of that!
These days, they would ban it because it mentions (gasp) God. And she actually talks about (double gasp) going to church/synagogue!
I hate math spam questions! I can't do math! I have to write it down on paper and then type in the answer.
sarasara...
I definitly agree that Tess is probably Mother of the Year compared to Brittany Spears.
And I have to agree with calling an action stupid or retarded is COMPLETELY differnt than calling a child stupid or retarded.
Abortion cuts down the crime rate.
Tess -
I didn't smoke when I was pregnant and I breastfed my kids. Does that make it ok to call them names? You've addressed everything except the real issue, Tess. Your jokes about feeding your kids crap for dinner or lenthy lists about how adequate you think you are do not minimize the fact that you feel it's ok to call your kids ____ (fill in blank with negative name du jour). The fact remains that you think it's just fine to call your kids immature, mean, damaging names. You should be ashamed of yourself! I know you're not, and you'll probably write another novel about how your kids now think you're a 9! (By the way, did you ever stop and think that they gave you such a high number because they were afraid of you calling them idiots if they didn't tell you what you wanted to hear? Who asks their kids to rate them anyway? You need help.)
You guys are still talking about me? Sheesh. Who has issues?
Re-read my posts. I gave some examples of tense moments but, I only threatened to send my kids to "retarded school" and if you must know the details its when they complained the school was way too difficult. I responded, "of course it's difficult. I put you in that school because very smart people need challenges or they get bored. If you want to be bored I can sign you up for retarded school." My kids screamed, "no retarded school!"
Another time I did scream, "Don't pour that water into that (turned on) lamp or you will get electricuted. Don't you know water and electricity don't mix, dummy?" She was 12 at the time and she did respond with "oh yeah. that was dumb."
Sometimes parents say the wrong thing. Is there a script? They didn't issue me a script...can I get the script?
When my kids get jobs, and they screw up (apparently I am the only screw up on this board but just to let you know there is a whole world out there FULL of people who make errors) the boss or co-worker or customer will not say "good try but not quite right" or "you still get a trophy for showing up." They will be corrected and sometimes in not a completely appropriate way. Why? Because they will be working with HUMANS. If your kid quits one job after another because their feelings got hurt perhaps you should have spoken to him or her a bit more candidly when they were growing up.
I question the "realness" of your relationships with your children. We have a lot of passion at our house. There are fights, tears, poetry, singing, praise, laughter and and relatively little censorship. I don't advocate name calling, but people do get excited and people have fights. If your self esteem is still so wrapped up in what your parents did or didn't do and you guard every movement around your children you need help.
"I don't advocate name calling, but..."
"It's not name calling, it's presenting the facts"
Sad, sad, lady.
Hi Flargy! I bet your dress looks pretty!
Change the words 'mom' and 'God' around and it goes from being terribly poignant and sad to potentially quite funny.
'Dear mom,
God is making fun of me, and I don't like it.'
RIGHT ON "Pray in g"!
Back to perezhilton Shonquisha!
As a former abused child, myself, I can totally identify with this poor kid. There is a vast difference between yesterday's find, and today's find. This is the real thing, and just because other kids may overdramatize things (my own kids do), does not mean that this kid's cry for help should not be taken seriously. I hope somebody reached out. And yes, I think parents should have to have a license. I believe you should have to go to parenting classes, before birth, to get that license. If you don't complete the class, you don't keep the kid. I know that sounds harsh, and I know it wouldn't begin to solve all the problems, but it would be a good start.
By, the way, the aformentioned book is a good one. It's been several years since I read it, but it still makes me chuckle. It was quite humorous, in places.
Heartbreaking...
what a heartbreaking letter to read.
i hope this kid realizes she's a worthy person, no matter what some ignorant, cruel parent ssaid to try and squash her.
maybe she found a mentor. i hope so.
It is sad, but then again things are generally warped and exaggerated in the eyes of a child.
I like you Tess, but you must have been on here all day yesterday. I have a kid who left something in the rain and I couldn't believe how stupid it was. I didn't hesitate to tell him what I thought about his action. Hopefully he'll think next time, but sadly I think it will be learning the hard way for him.
I had a counselor that told me once that sometimes a parent is a perfect 10, at other times (often in the same day) an 8, at other times just a 5 or 4. We have shining moments and some not so "shiny" moments. But no one, anywhere, is always a Perfect 10 parent. It's just not possible. I try to give myself grace at those times when I'm not being the Perfect 10.
How does breastfeeding make you a great parent? Some women aren't able to breastfeed, it doesn't make them any less of a good parent if they can't. Putting that into your little "I'm the best mommy there is" list is just sad. If you need to make a list to prove that you're a great parent, to a bunch of strangers, then you obviously have your OWN self esteem issues. I see why you call your kids stupid or whatever it is you yell at them. You should get your own help so that you can understand why you feel the need to scream at your kids the way you say you do.
Not only why you scream at the kids, but then come to a public comment board and try to justify it, and even kind of .. well, brag about it.
Something's just not quite right there.
It's really nice that you bake cookies, though. Cookies make all the shame, pain, and humiliation melt away.
By the way, Hurray for you, Soldier Mommy- travel safely, and thanks for all you do.
"Dear Mom, God is making fun of me...."
Sorry, Becky, I see you beat me to it. My bad.
that's so sad.
:( I do NOT dig this mom.
i know what you mean kid.
i'm sorry.
I see the sadness yes, but do you not see the incredible wisdom and compassion that the child has? most children would cower under the weight of feelings of rejection, abandonment, and insufficiency.
To me this is sad yet inspiring, disappointing and full of hope for the child.
This has to be THE saddest thing that I've ever seen in my, relatively short, life...I really do hope this child is in therapy now, or was when s/he wrote this...
Whoknew, that was one of the first things I noticed about the letter as well. Quite well written.
Even tho this kid's mom doesn't love him/her, they are still praying for her. Amazing.
http://www.thelovelyroad.com/@-images/07/deadbeat-m
this particular picture fits the Find quite nicely, but the whole site: http://www.thelovelyroad.com is wonderful.
i think this is such a sad letter. but its heartwarming that the child asked God to forgive his/her mom for her mistakes even though the child is going through a tough time cause of his/her mom. i would really wish to just give this kid a hug. cause ive been through that too and im still going through it. for me its just amazing how the child can show forgiveness.
That poor child. She believes there's a God and nobody is there to tell her otherwise.
How sad.
For a "stupid" person, they have perfect grammar.