August 04, 2008

It Means Explore
FOUND by Alex Fonti in Redwood City, California
This was addressed and mailed to my mom. We still have no idea who sent it, or how they achieved the mental capacity to figure out how to work the mailbox.
Mandy in a box floating in the Atlantic
Something is afoot at the scout camp.
+ August 04, 2008 12:17 AM +
Holly the Homemaker in Toronto

"To tell you the truth I don't rely like you or your husband very much you show off too much"
AHAHAHA!!!

Now that's not a *SCOUTS HONOUR*...is it?

+ August 04, 2008 12:28 AM +
Nobody in during
But who are you, Alex? Who are you REALLY?
+ August 04, 2008 01:11 AM +
cellar door in england
AHAHA! cryptic!
+ August 04, 2008 02:10 AM +
cellar door in england
...what is a "web side" i wonder? hmmm... mysterious
+ August 04, 2008 02:28 AM +
Mir in Oregon
The finder's MySpace says he's gay. I wonder if that's what the writer of the note is so freaked out about? Hilarious either way!
+ August 04, 2008 03:28 AM +
Mir in Oregon
I should add that I assumed it was okay to poke around at that since he included his full name with the find, so I hope I wasn't mistaken.

My apologies to you, Alex, if it was in bad taste of me to do that. :)
+ August 04, 2008 03:37 AM +
The Hungry Squirrel in the tree
I love that web side. It ar agood one. Not so sure bout dem scouts anymore. Alex, you are a brave man. Wanna go camping?
+ August 04, 2008 05:16 AM +
Jonathan in back in England but I can't sign in? WTF?
Not mental capacity, just difficulty with English. All credit to the writer of the note for overcoming her hesitations and obvious dislike of the recipient in order to voice her fears.

However, it's not true that anyone can look up someone on MySpace and 'know what they are'. Surely it depends on (a) what you put on your profile page, and (b) what your privacy settings are.

These boys could just be larking about and trying to wind up any parents or other adults rash enough to look -- who knows.

I don't know what '[it means explore]' means though. Does she mean there's a word in English but she doesn't know what it is, or is too ashamed to spell it out? In which case...?

Let's hope the writer is overreacting. Maybe the recipient looked at the incriminating MySpace pages and thought 'Huh! Boys!' *shrug* ?
+ August 04, 2008 05:31 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork
@ Mir in Oregon ... I think that's what we all were assuming the note writer was hinting at anyway. But why didn't she just come out and say it in her note to Alex's mom?

Did Alex's mom already know? If not, did she check out MySpace? How did she react?

And who really cares?
+ August 04, 2008 05:32 AM +
A girl in a cube
This is just someone's malicious attempt to stir the proverbial pot, under the guise of caring. If the writer really cared or thought it was his/her responsibility to act the part of concerned citizen, the writer would have omitted that "I don't really like you or your husband..." thing. That sentiment in itself reveals the true intent of the letter: to hurt.

I'm assuming, based on the lack of education apparent in the writing, that this comes from some jealous ("you show off too much"), lower-class neighbor who thinks the recipient's comeuppance has finally happened... i.e., "Well, they might drive a fancy car and haves themselves a fancy job, but at least my son ain't GAY..." or some such hateful nonsense.
+ August 04, 2008 05:44 AM +
Holly the Homemaker in Toronto

@ A GIRL IN A CUBE- Darlin'...you've hit the nail on the head!!!
+ August 04, 2008 05:54 AM +
Snarg in a cave
@ Jonathan, "[it means explore]" refers to the word "scout." As you are highly intelligent this must be a case of you standing a wee bit close to the tree. *wink*
+ August 04, 2008 06:36 AM +
baby basil in the herb garden
Miss Marple would say that the anonymous letter is a woman's weapon, and in my experience it is. Anyone who signs themselves "Your Friend" to such a note is NOT trying to be friendly. Often, indeed usually, the content of an anonymous letter is false, reflecting the writer's fantasies or simply mirroring their dislike of what they percieve to be the target's "faults." If you wear makeup and short skirts, your "friend" will write a letter to your husband telling him you are a ho and entertain gentlemen callers while he's at work...and all like that.

Platinum medal for passive-agression. They give themselves away with that line (properly spelled as): "I don't really like you and your husband very much--you show off too much." So of course I have named myself the One-Member Committee For Taking You Down a Peg or Two.

Scouts means explore: sounds like the writer is pussyfooting around the idea that there's some sexual exploration going on in the Scouts. Well, say that! But no, we prefer to hint and cast vague aspersions so if we get called on it, we can say, "Oh that's not what I said!"

In Europe sending anonymous letters is a misdemeanor and carries a fine, if one person is involved. If it's a full-scale harassment campaign involving many victims, or escalates from letters to graffiti or phonecalls etc., there can be jail time involved or at least psychiatric evaluation, as it is considered harassment.
+ August 04, 2008 06:47 AM +
Bunnee in in a super sut
I think it's pretty funny that they've said 'I don't really like you or your husband very much' and then signed it 'your friend'! Nice touch.
+ August 04, 2008 06:51 AM +
Emily in Beantown
I checked the MySpace web side as well. Alex, you're freaking adorable!
+ August 04, 2008 06:56 AM +
mona lisa in the louvre
Alex, do you need to talk about what happened at Scout Camp?
+ August 04, 2008 07:20 AM +
Flargy in New Haven, CT
Whether the writer is ESL, illiterate, or just stupid, is irrelevant. The important thing here is that we get to the part where I tell you that it's fucking excruciating to read. Alex's explanation is perfect. It actually made me Laugh Out Loud.

Do people really set up myspace accounts using their real, full names? Why?!
+ August 04, 2008 07:22 AM +
Reverend Ramona in Las Vegas, NV
After reading the letter and the other comments, I can safely say the only think Alex needs to be "saved" from are closed-minded bad spellers like the (presumably) woman who sent this note.
+ August 04, 2008 07:27 AM +
Reverend Ramona in Las Vegas, NV
Whoops, I'd like to point out that I "thing" I'm not so much a bad speller as a bad typist. ;)
+ August 04, 2008 07:29 AM +
Footnote in the history books
"But you are the best mother I've met...." that's the phrase to look at.

The anonymous note writer DOES admire Mom's mothering, and she wants to save Mom from further public embarrassment because, you know, "every body know what your boys write".

But it does sort of bother me that the author kind of writes off Mom's sons and wants to focus on saving Boy Scouts as a good place.
+ August 04, 2008 08:04 AM +
Thank you from all of us in the Atlantic surf. ( Hi Mandy. )
It is true that you can find out a lot about your kid and their friends by looking at their myspace profiles. I found out my son's girlfriend is a little perv.
+ August 04, 2008 08:06 AM +
Jonathan in signed in now
@snarg and basil -- ovcoarse, silly moi. As in 'Scouting for Boys'!

Though actually 'to scout' does NOT mean 'to explore'. It means 'to seek out information', and is derived from the same root as French 'ecouter' [sorry, can't do the accent] meaning 'to listen' -- so a 'scout' was a spy or eavesdropper.

There's another meaning of 'to scout', not heard much nowadays, which is 'to reject [a proposal or idea] with scorn or ridicule', but this comes from a different Old Norse root related to the word 'shoot'.

There you go -- hurrah for my old Concise Oxford Dictionary. There ought to be an acronym for Well, You Learn Something New Every Day...

WYLSNED!
+ August 04, 2008 08:14 AM +
Pitseleh in England
My favourite web side is foundmagazine.com
+ August 04, 2008 08:40 AM +
alan goes "pting" in Joe Strummer's head
Sory for your sons
and
Saris for your daughters.
+ August 04, 2008 08:41 AM +
mlm in texas
YAY! Jonathan is back! ...and I love Alex's mailbox comment. SNARKY!
+ August 04, 2008 08:45 AM +
Clover in the Lawn
So many words are so weirdly misspelled. It's like she used a typewriter, because if she had used a computer, she could have spell-checked it. If she can look at MySpace, why didn't she use the computer to write this letter?

Also, I suppose it's obvious that Alex's mother never saw this letter. I wonder if she knows about foundmagazine? Hmm..

And I'm wondering how many sons there were that needed saving. I'm picturing this "best mother I have met" raising maybe a dozen boys, because surely a best mother could not rise to such status if she only had two or three.
+ August 04, 2008 08:51 AM +
disgusted in a crappy hotel in San Diego
MySpace is the way we found out my niece was doing drugs, and were able to intervene before something really terrible happened to her.

Say what you want about the anonymous letter writer, but all parents should know how their children are representing themselves to the world, and what they are saying about their behavior when they think their parents will never know. I am not saying that this woman wasn't being malicious or that Alex indulged in inappropriate behavior--but isn't it better to err on the side of caution with our kids?
+ August 04, 2008 08:55 AM +
unmuse in florida
In the last line, "LETS BE SURE THE SCOUTS AR AGOOD PLACE FOR KIDS", is she trying to say that the Boy Scouts are not the place for gay boys? If she is... WOW.. I'd be embarrassed to say I even knew her.
+ August 04, 2008 09:19 AM +
Nit picker, pick in g nits
Since no one else has said it yet, YOUR MOTHER'S MAIL IS NOT A FIND. Send it to passiveagressivenotescom.
+ August 04, 2008 09:31 AM +
that girl in down south
I too went to check out the myspace page in question. I was thinking that if the sons in the letter are under aged that you definitely need to keep an eye on what they write. Then his page pops up and the "child" is 20! Come on bad typer lady! The man is old enough to "scout" out what ever he wants.
+ August 04, 2008 09:32 AM +
Matt in my cubicle
Whatever happened to Alex at Scout Camp, I bet he was asking for it, being from a family of show offs and all.
+ August 04, 2008 09:37 AM +
Terrie-Is-So-Very in totally-unique-ville
Dear Best Mom,

I hate to tell you this and by hate I mean love, but I found out what your boys are, they're kangaroos.

Your BFF,
terrieissovery
+ August 04, 2008 09:43 AM +
D in discovery mode
MySpace is the first place we (meaning my law partner and I) go when we need to find out (1) what the opposite side is doing and (2) what our client is doing. Very enlightening.

Folks.....do yourselves a favor....don't put anything on MySpace that you don't want showing up in court
+ August 04, 2008 10:03 AM +
Puckhog in my opinion
HaHaHa! Terrie-Is-So-Very that's funny!

Just because the author is a homophobic illiterate it doesn't make her passive aggressive. From this "style" of writing I would say that passive aggressiveness is beyond her intellect level.
Uninformed self-rightousness is not inherently passive-aggressive. It is the public figures and politicians who popularize this viewpoint and encourage this behavior that are the passive-aggressive ones. They are the puppeteers who pull the strings for this society of closed minded one-issue-voters of which the author is undoubtedly a member.
+ August 04, 2008 10:39 AM +
mlm in texas
@Clover-His mom saw the letter, as indicated by his comments.

I think by saying "you are the best mother I have met", she is saying that ALL the mothers she has met are pretty crappy, but that she is the "best" one so far.
+ August 04, 2008 11:10 AM +
Clover in the Lawn
Dear terrieissovery,
Hahaha! or should I say hop hop hop!
Your BFF,
Best Mom
+ August 04, 2008 11:11 AM +
Applaud in g D
Good lesson. And why I'll never have a MySpace page.

+ August 04, 2008 11:24 AM +
H in A
Nit Picker-- thanks for saying it, because nobody else had said it yet. I "find" things in my mailbox every day, but if they are addressed to me, they do not count as "finds"!!!

I didn't look at the MySpace page, but I am so entertained to read that the boy in question is an adult. I definitely thought it was a 14-year-old, and I was thinking that Mom needed to keep a closer eye on Boy Scout camp. The fact that he's twenty is hilaroius.
+ August 04, 2008 11:46 AM +
see my web side
I have a web side, you dont want to see it...

is it like the internets for spidermen?
+ August 04, 2008 11:46 AM +
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
@ H in A.. and i might add that if the mail is addressed to someone else (ie., your mother) it is illegal and unethical to open it! I agree that this doesn't seem like a real find.

I also looked at that myspace page, but I'm not sure this 20-year-old is the boy/man in question. His name is Dan, and I think the site comes up because the finder's name is mentioned in a comment somewhere. Maybe Dan is one of Best Mom's dozen sons that needed saving, a brother to Alex.

Also, just because a person says he/she is a certain age on MySpace doesn't make it true. You can pretend to be any age as long as it's between 14 and 99. I didn't spend much time looking, but I didn't see evidence that this Dan person is gay, nor did I see anything that makes him seen older than a teenager.

Maybe this find was submitted a few years ago. Sometimes it takes that long for them to show up here. So even if Alex is now 20, he may have been a teen when the letter was written.

I'm wondering if the finder quickly deleted the MySpace page since Mir in Oregon commented above. Maybe he's regretting going quite so public.
+ August 04, 2008 12:34 PM +
Makin tea in her underwear
@blackbird

I was being a creeper and decided to check the myspace page in question...I don't know where you got the Dan name from....his name is "Al" at the top of the page and there is a comment addressed to "Alex" on the page. Also when it asks for the orientation it says "gay". Pretty obvious.

Also it seems as if his mom probably opened it and read it as well seeing as it says "WE have no idea who sent it".

.....just sayin'........
+ August 04, 2008 01:42 PM +
Living in State of confusion
Huh! I thought the letter writer was a man, for some reason. Don't know why.

Sounds like some exploring is going on with the scouts.
+ August 04, 2008 02:37 PM +
Tired in Bed
Ok, so for starters... I feel a little bit less intelligent for reading that. It actually hurt my brain to attempt to piece together that atrocity of a letter.
To alex, was the write of the letter talking about you? or do you have a dozen brothers that they could be talking about? Are they trying to imply that you are gay because of the boy scouts? or are they trying to imply that gay(s) need to stay away from the boy scouts? Or are they trying to say they were 'scouting you out' for some reason? OHHH SO MANY QUESTIONS!!! (and i don't know for a fact that you are gay, but the comments above seem to think you are)
And why the hell does the writer feel the need to 'out' this person to his parents... as if it is any of the writer's business. What a rude ignorant a**hole!!
+ August 04, 2008 03:01 PM +
Mir in Oregon
@blackbird

The MySpace I found that was registered with his name is still there and as it was earlier. The display name is "Al." Don't know where you got Dan.
+ August 04, 2008 06:37 PM +
Night in gale
I think Blackbird got the name Dan from the Hulk bean bag chair Find. (Dan Cole age 12 and a half.) An honest mistake, could happen to anyone. I think Blackbird is right about the note being written when Alex was a minor. But I don't think he would have opened his mom's mail. I bet she's always known her sons, and loves them for who they are.

I read where Eagle Scout Alex won an award for improvements made to a nature trail. Way to go, Alex!
+ August 04, 2008 06:54 PM +
Blackbird, lost in a myspace search
Well, dang!.. I'm still getting this when I do the myspace search:

"MySpace.com - OMG IT'S DAN - 20 - Male - Burlingame, US...
i saw alex fonti last night and he was all "dan sent me this really nice text message out of the blue saying he missed me..."

Status: Swinger. Although he states his age is 20, it says he's still in high school.

There's nothing showing up in my search for anyone named Al or Alex. Maybe I'm doing the search wrong? I don't get it.

@mlm, Alex doesn't say his mom ever saw or read the letter. It says it was addressed and mailed to her. It could have been intercepted by Alex before she ever saw it. Since the letter refers to multiple sons, "We still have no idea who sent it.." could mean Alex and his brother(s) who needed saving.
+ August 04, 2008 08:05 PM +
Blackbird
Okay, I found it.. I was searching in the wrong place. Yep, gay - and happy too! He does not look like someone who would read his mother's mail, does he?
+ August 04, 2008 08:11 PM +
Clover in the Lawn
"...After you see it depends on how you react..." What depends on how she reacts?

+ August 04, 2008 08:23 PM +
Clover in the Lawn
No. I goofed. It says "...After you see it depends on you how to react..." This makes even less sense to me.
+ August 04, 2008 08:26 PM +
Clover in a mailbox
"After you see it depends on you how to react think very hard it is your sons."

After you see, it depends on YOU. How to react? Think very hard! It is your sons.

After, you see it depends. On you? How to react? Think. Very hard it is. Your sons?

After you, see? It depends on YOU how. To react, think very hard. It is your sons.
+ August 04, 2008 08:39 PM +
Night in gale
Clover, I heart you. Now leave it alone, sweetie. xx
+ August 04, 2008 10:27 PM +
Alex Fonti in Redwood City, CA
Okay, just to clear some things up.

I am gay.

I am now 20 years old.

I have one older brother, and it was not directed towards him. He's straight, and I had already come out. It makes sense.

I joined the Boy Scouts of America in grade school, and I achieved the rank of Eagle when I was 16. I never once had any sexual relations with anyone during this time period.

This letter was received late my senior year - by my mother - when I had already moved out of my parents house. I did not intercept the letter. My mother called me and picked me up from school to inquire about exactly what information I exhibited on my Myspace, specifically any addresses. I would not provide anything so personal to such a broad forum.

I submitted this letter when I was 18 years old.

And to whomever is being so anal about exactly what is allowed on this webside considering it's premise, go suck a lemon. You don't have any authority to make those decisions, and those who have such authorization decided it was appropriate enough to post. Take it up with them.

Thank you all for your input. A lot of your perspectives are quite interesting, and I may never would have thought about this travesty in such a light.

http://www.myspace.com/alexcorex
+ August 05, 2008 03:29 AM +
Jonathan in London, England
Hey Alex, sorry we all put you through so much shit. Thanks for your commments and for being cool about it. Hope your mother's OK with it too.

Just thank your lucky stars you were only a Boy Scout and not a member of the C*mm*n*st P*rty, eh?

I hope we haven't put you off coming here. It's a lot of fun (well, that was supposed to be the idea anyway).

Have a great life. Hope to see you here again.
+ August 05, 2008 07:27 AM +
mlm in texas
@Blackbird--Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah! (Just yankin' yer chain!) :)
+ August 05, 2008 08:02 AM +
orinoco womble in wimbledon burrow
Apropos of anonymous letters being actionable, a Conservative politician from Watford (UK) has just been had up for a harassment campaign against the Lib Dem politicians in his area; anonymous letters, skin mags, graffitti, the whole enchilada. He is now facing "a possible custodial sentence" (aka time in the slammer).

Is harassment "OK" in CA?
+ August 05, 2008 11:07 AM +
back in the saddle again
I think I'll bookmark this page and c&p Alex's response to ppl questioning whether it's a "FIND" or not.

Tremedously well said, Alex.
+ August 05, 2008 11:51 AM +
Caitlin in Montana
I would contend that the "it means explore" is more an indication of how hidden the writer believes the 'scandalous' information to be - as if finding the dark depths of the truth may involve questioning Boy Scouts and troop leaders. Whoever it was, you can be sure that it was some horrible little person who got a joy out of hurting others... even if they were too unintelligent to figure out how to use these newfangled contraptions we call "the English language" and "kindness towards others."
+ August 05, 2008 04:06 PM +
clad in fur, head to toe...
Hmmm. Interesting coincidence. I was just at someone's house the other day, and they were looking thru their faves on youtube and there were LOTS of videos about Furries on their faves list. I merely raised an eyebrow and said.. hmmmmmmmmm... mmm hmm.

and this person said that they share their account with numerous other people and "OH yeeah.. those must be 'rebel's' additions to the faves. NOT MINE!!"

Umm. Yeah. Okay.
+ August 05, 2008 07:22 PM +
sick in tired
You all seem to believe that "Alex Fonti's" post is legit. Ever consider it might be an impostor?

Most anonymous letters are written by impostors. Many MySpace pages are created by impostors. The only thing you ever know about your Internet contacts is what they tell you--which may or may not be true.
+ August 06, 2008 03:58 AM +
hilary in new haven
Best. Finder's. Explanation. EVER.
+ August 06, 2008 06:49 PM +
meg in a brighter place
@sick in tired:

Seriously? seriously? You're THAT suspicious of people? Exactly what motive would someone have to fake who he was in the comments? It's not like he'd get all that much attention. You really must live a sad and scared life. You poor, poor thing.
+ August 09, 2008 04:28 PM +

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