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December 11, 2007 |
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Cecelia's Gonna Get It
FOUND by Dirk Wednesday
in Arizona
This was found by a co-worker of mine on the door of a maintenance area at the Medical Center. It should be noted that the aforementioned co-worker was very pregnant at the time and thus worked as a perfect decoy for this semi-criminal act.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
There are so many things I love about this. I don't know what it is. Is it the fact that she wrote this on the most polite piece of paper she could find? Or maybe the fact that some badass chick uses three exclaimation points? I'd love to know how old these girls are. It cracks me up.
Watch out, Cecilia, she's gonna punch your lights out!
CeeCee, I'd watch out if I were you- those ghetto chicks are gonna jump yo white ass.
Isn't that the international symbol for "No Idea"?
wow. positive message- conserve energy.
negative message- ass kicking today!
One of these things is not like the other. wait, there are only two things. Maybe Cecilia failed to turn off the lights?
Yeah. Now I wanna kick her ass too.
Does it make sense to *sign* a threat of bodily harm and leave it on view in a public (or semi-public)place? Of course "after school" means "kid"...but if I had been there I think I'd have dropped it in on someone in authority...
Maybe Cecelia and Marta are pre-med students interning at the medical center. That'd make it even scarier, the idea of ass-kicking ghetto doctors. Yikes.
Oh shit, wait - this theory makes much more sense: Maybe Cecelia had already gotten her ass kicked, and brought her broken body to the medical center for fixin'! She probably should have brought that note to the fuzz, though, instead of leaving it behind.
Marta might have some intention to kick my girl Cecelia's ass, but that bitch is in for a serious whirlwind of pain herself; Cecelia's small but --trust me on this-- she's gonn mash Marta's taters.
Maybe Cecelia was makin' love in the afternoon up in Marta's boyfriend's bedroom. And he knocked her up.
This makes me think of Scrubs.
I watch too much T.V.
Actually, it's funny that this is today's find. I heard from an old high school friend via My Space last night. I haven't heard from her in probably 17 years. She was that girl that always got into fights, and she was scary mean, too. I'm REALLY glad she liked me.
ok.. I'm confussed. What does the actual finder's pregnant state have to do with anything? Is the 'semi criminal act' the taking down of the sign? And Dirk, are you a stripper? Is Cecelia one of the maintenance workers?
My best friend's name is marta.
omg. nightingale..that song has been in my head since i first saw this find... It's stuck forever.
I didn't follow the finder's note either-- someobody want to make sense of the pregancncy thing for us?
Marta must not be too bright- who gives warning notes that you're going to beat someone up?
Or maybe the interns were having a lively chess tournament, and Marta was just remimding Cecelia that it was her move and she was going to win big. Cecilia's a bit arrogant when it comes to her chess abilities, and Marta was going to take her down a peg.
Taking down the energy conservation sign was the semi-criminal act, because you're not supposed to, but will you really get into trouble for doing it? Especially if you're full blown preggers.
Dirk Wednesday is an AMAZING name!!! He is either a porn star, car salesman or he solves mysteries.
I once knew a man whose last name was Kibash. He had the corniest pick-up lines.
Midlife, that's funny! Or maybe it means "no bright ideas."
In which case, I'm glad the finder took it down.
Dirk Wednesday is an amazing name. It makes me have a wonderful. The pill and booze help.
Hey mona, thanks for pointing out the song from Nightingal, now I have the song in my head.
i wonder if there's some sort of way of determining how many people have what song in their head. Could we make a guinness record for that? I guess there's no way of determining it for sure... dang. Wouldnt that be cool?
Sue Bee, could be worse. Could be the macarena in your head. (that's what i hear after too much pills and booz)
who doesn't sign threatening notes?
I don't know the Barney song you mention a while back sounded pretty bad. Anything from air supply would give me hives.
mona, if we're all going to have a common song in order to go for a record, my vote is for cecilia. or killer (michael jackson).
the macarena is a bit too... macarena (for me). pills and booze notwithstanding.
also courtney, what if he's a mystery-solving-car-salesman in pornos? That's a pretty unusual **Angle** and one that may never have been **Explored**. They could at least come up with a decept plotline/ script on that one instead of something like "pizza delivery guy, wanna Do It?" It's been a very long time since I've seen one of those so who knows, maybe they've really advanced in that way. Any authorities in the house?
Hey, maybe the title of the movie should have been...'BOOGIE LIGHTS' not 'BOOGIE NIGHTS'! Aw...we can't forget 'DIRK', with the 'LONG SHLONG', he was the 'STAR' of the show!
Just havin' some fun!
I think it sounds playful, not threatening. Like Cecelia hooked all of Marta's paper clips together, or toilet papered her cube or something and Marta is going to get her back. I am also reminded of scrubs.
And, aren't people named Dirk porn stars?
Why is a pregnant lady "a perfect decoy" - did Dirk stand behind her while swiping the sign?
When I first read it I thought of it as two girlfriends jokingly pissed at each other if this is a med center where pregger people may wander maybe Ce told a few people Marta was preggers all in good fun When Marta found out her best friend was being a snot she teased with the typical i'm gonna kill you kick your ass you little kinda response though a fun twist would be Marta actually was preggers and ce never knew now Marta is stressed and confused and not talking to her best friend when she needs her the most but in high school your best friends never are who you think ....
What's the name of the new website formed here? Akward something?
I think it's two friends joking with each other, good friends.
I have not read any of the comments yet. My initial reaction to this is: Semi-criminal act? What's semi about it? It's a criminal act.
Not the old "I'm knocked up so I can't help but steal other people's shit" excuse again.... Where's my chicken sandwich, tubby?
I thought Dirk was saying he FOUND it Wed., and that his co-worker was what we call "big pregnant" - so large that he could hide behind her to steal the sign.
Lots of funny comments today - thanks, you guys, for making me laugh on a Monday(ish).
Hi KC wishing she/he was in PA, right like I believe that.
I suppose turning someone's lights off would be more energy efficient, as it would shorten the fight considerably.
Hugely pregnent women provide great decoys: They're just so awe inspiring! Who cares if a minor crime is taking place? There's a chick with a baby in her belly!!
I once jokingly left a note like this for a roommate. Well she thought it was from someone else. Luckily I was able to smooth everything over before she called the police and started a formal investigation.
Okay I guess mine was a little more threatening, but all in good fun... really.
decoy: a person who entices or lures another person or thing, as into danger, a trap, or the like.
I think a better description would be that she used her enormosity as a distraction. She also would not be a decoy because she was the one taking it down.
I'm guessing the minor crime is stealing the paper sign? Maybe the pregnant lady is an escapee from the maternity ward?
Dirk wednesday is the worst made-up name since Wolf Blitzer.
If I'm not the first to say it I apologize:
"CONSERVE ENERGY, PUNCH SOMEONE'S LIGHTS OUT"
P, no shit so is Dick Hertz, Jack Mehoff, and Deiter Diggler.
sand in your craw, Wolf Blitzer is a real person.
what about Hugh Jass?
As sad as this is, there is a woman who works for my company named - wait for it - Fanny Zass. Her real name is Franscesca and Zass is her married name, but still...
I prefer to get my ass kicked with the lights on.
Pet conservation peeve: an employee turns off the lights when leaving the restroom without noticing you're still in the stall. My advice? Always carry a flashlight.
Dieter DENGLER is a real person too. If thats who you were referring too, sand.
This may be due to the fact that here I'm stuck in Spain-mode, but the first thing I noticed about this find was that Cecelia and Marta are very typical Spanish names.
Maybe Dirk found it on Wednesday!
Mona, so is Deiter Diggler (Dengler) and yes Kirst that who I was referring too. It's an inside joke at my home to refer to him as Diggler. I was hoping the response would be from one of my exasperated younguns.
Dirk + any day of the week = awesome, much like any state + most one-syllable surnames.
'Zass' is a pretty good surname for almost any first name. 'Dick Trickle' makes me snicker every time...
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T TURN OUT THE LIGHTS! CONSERVE ENERGY AND CONSERVE YOUR LIFE!
P thanks for the laugh hehe!
Sue Bee,
awkwardkids.blogspot.com
again, the conversation has (degraded? I suppose it depends on perspective) turned to... um.. tight leather pants? male anatomy?
My favorite book has a character named Monday, I used to know a girl named Tuesday- but Dirk Wednesday is an awesome name.
Not long ago, I was in the 2nd/3rd grade hall at the nearby elementary school. The lockers all had the kids' names on signs on the outsides. One sign said, and I'm not kidding: Michael Hunt. I really hope no one shortens his name to Mike. I really really do.
Black chicks with BIG hooters are more likely to run more faster. I see them at the beach in 2-piece black swim suits, while watching Beavis & Mr. Butthead on a portable mini-screen made in Tokyo by short co-workers to do bench presses on their 10 minute breaks while drinking strawberry protein shakes, all so they can prove that they are better than Americans at EVERYTHING!
Desperate Cynic, lights on, lights off, what difference does it make? Oh. You said kicked. Nevermind.
Thank you Captain Random, AKA Xby.
And Pepper - believe it or not, it's quite true. I am in lurve w/ the city of Pittsburgh PA.
As for this find, I suddenly considered another perspective: Forewarned is forearmed (and bisceped). I bet Cece brought her big brother & scared the tar out of Marta.
Also, you have a better chance of finding your butt in the dark than a flashlight. Maybe you should try humming when you're taking a dump in a public restroom. You'll find you have privacy much quicker! Haha!
The name of my second grade teacher was Eura Fish.
Mrs. Fish was one of the nicest teachers ever! But then we moved away. :(
KC, liar.
Ooooo Ceciliaaaaaaa you're breaking my heart you're shaking my confidence babyyy
"Being a porn star isn't all fun and games. It is a hard, gritty business and only the slick survive. I should know, I lived it for 20 years. One day, I just couldn't find my ass in the dark any more. I knew then it was time to hang up my chaps and move on.
I knew I wasn’t cut out to settle down on a little farm in the country. Besides, I never did like livestock. I prefer the dark alleys and anonymous backdoors of the big city.
So here I am in Phoenix, looking for other people’s asses. I’m Dirk Wednesday, Private Eye.”
Too much?
Agent Ling: Good point! Next time I'm using the men's room at a major airport, I'll try singing fragments of Pergolesi's Stabat Mater in falsetto while occasionally crying out, "Oh my God, THANK YOU!"
Stalker: Too much? No. That's perfect! I love it!
Just no toe tapping in the public restroom stall, okay? It could totally ruin your career.
Since we're all talking about 'names'...my fathers' mom's name was Gladys, but all her classmates would call her 'HAPPY BUM'. I still remember to this day her telling me that when I was 5...hahaha!!
In grade school, a friend of mine uesd to order porn to his dad's PO Box using his mom's name, Somporn. Pronounced Some-porn, how perfect is that?
I love you all, Marta.