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September 06, 2007 |
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Table Scraps
FOUND by Joanna Wilbur
in New York City, New York
One morning, while headed to class, I was waiting at the crosswalk on 23rd street and eyed a pile of books resting on a trash bin. Sitting on top was a framed picture of Mel Gibson... so of course I had to take it. It was only later, when I took the frame apart, that I found this hiding underneath. I don't even know what prompted me to open the frame, but I'm glad I did. This is the REAL find.
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It's Fine. October 26, 2003 |
Regretful Child's ... September 20, 2007 |
I Not Stole Your Box January 19, 2007 |
Nobody's Perfect June 11, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
» We're hopping on a plane and jetting to Europe for our Fall 2008 Euro Tour!
» Join Peter Rothbart for his mini-tour of the Pacific Northwest
Too freaken cute.
I love this find. The dog looks just like the one I had when I was a child. What a nice surprise today!
whats on the floor next to the base board??
a green bean perhaps?
Cute little fatty.
I think the dog should hold the cigarettes (on the table) hostage and make the owner beg for them!
Dog: "Beg until your arms waddle, b****!"
I love this find! Just look at the leg muscles that doggy has built up with all that beggin'!
I used to have a terrier mix who was shaped like a rectangle, with a perfectly flat butt. He could just sit there, parked on his flat little Dasher butt until you had no choice but to relent and slip him some goodies! (no leg muscles required for the rectangle doggy.)
I agree with saucy - if this were a cat, not only would it take the cigarettes, but it would pee in the laundry basket. Take that you ashtray breathed, red fingernailed, green bean dropping fool.
It looks like the cat took the picture from up high on the table? (This human needs a lesson in feng shui.)
I used to have a porker of a dog, we always joked his middle name was "Hoover".. that green bean would not have been on the floor long enough to get a pic taken. This one made me smile, thanks.
I LIKE HOW DAY AFTER DAY EVERYONE GOES OUT OF THEIR WAY TO FIND SOMETHING THEY THINK SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT OVER LOOK
NICE GOING, YOU FOUND SOMETHING THAT JUST MIGHT RESEMBLE A GREEN BEAN. OH, AND LOOK, THE BITCH WITH THE RED FINGER NAILS SMOKES AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE CARES ENOUGH ABOUT HER SMOKING HABITS TO PURCHASE A RED, LEATHER CIGARETTE CASE
ALL OF THAT ASIDE, THIS FIND FOUND MAGAZINE PRESENTED US TODAY SUCKS. PHOTO FINDS USUALLY DO UNLESS THEY INCORPORATE A BOY FLIPPING OFF A CAMERA WITH AN ASTRONOMICALLY SIZED CHIN
HoTdOg!
Ahh back in the day when dogs begged for scraps and didn't maul little children.
Strange find, I like the colours.
Wait, I'm confused...
"Of course" she HAD to take the picture of Mel Gibson? He gives me the heebie-jeebies...
Anyway.
Maybe that's just me.
Adorable dog; I hope he got his snack!
Who can resist that sad puppy face?
check out that groovy carpet. It almost matches her fingernails. really claaassy.
I think it's eggs .
I swear to God, I use those same plates. Sweet find.
I met a guy yesterday walking a dog I've never seen before . It was the size of a lion I swear and soo cute . It was a Leonberger , which is a water rescue dog . Look them up if you like big smart dogs . It's hair felt like a bunny too . The guy said when they go to the lake , if the kids go out far at all the dog brings them back in .He got it from a Leonberger rescue group .
Heart, it must have been a pic of Mel from the good ol days- you know, somewhere between Mad Max and Lethal Weapon 3. No heebie jeebies there.
Cute dog, but don't feed your fur-babies table scraps. A friend has doxies she feed tables scraps on a regular basis. They are now enormously fat - to the point the male's winkie drags the ground.
i detect a SALTy air in the room today. Anyone sense that too?
Her fingernails scare me a little. Is that the remnants of blood, from the last dog she mauled to death, after it didn't follow her inane commands?
Joanna, if you are reading these comments to see how people responded to your find, will you please tell us what books were resting on the trash bin? Please? I have an insane urge to know this.
I'd keep begging too if all I got to eat was a green bean. Icky poo!
I think the photo is absolutely gorgeous - to me it is high art. The rich subject matter, the angles, the colors... and that lethal red nail!!
And David K: CHILL. THE F*&K. OUT. You're letting your issues show, and it ain't pretty.
so my cat's not the only one that pees in the laundry basket? is this something common in the cat world?
OH, MARIE? WHICH ISSUES AM I SHOWING, EXACTLY?
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF YOU COULDN'T ANSWER THAT QUESTION. WAY TO BE THE FIRST OF THE DAY TO THROW EMPTY INSULTS AT ME
I have a dachshaund and I can't get him to stop sitting like that. It's like he's part prairie dog or something.
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/887
FYI, shelly.
That's funny about the prairie dog dachshaund (is that really how it's spelled?) I think little dogs just wish they were bigger. That comment means only what it says, nothing more. Don't read anything into it.
It's spelled Daschund. I have three and Love them insanely, kinda like cat people love cats. They are the closest thing you can get to a cat and still have it be a dog. Sounds weird I know, but its true.
Sharp crayon - I will forever think "prairie dog" about TWO things that make me laugh now. Thanks
DAVID: The need to put down others.
That's one tuff dog. I think he's dancing with the girl from yesterday's find.
IF YOU READ MY TEXT IN A CONDESCENDING TONE, MARIE, THAT'S SOLELY ON YOU. I DIDN'T BERATE ANYBODY
I have this dog here at home exactly. I love these Weinerdogs. Mine is chasing cats and eating right now. He is name is Ralph and he is red too.
hey David ! Long times no see, bro. I thought you burned up in that nasty house fire that you set yourself! Glad to know that you are ok. Keep up the good work dude.
Cute little dacshie!
I had one as a kid. He never barked a day in his life, and begged just like this.
Chrome Toaster - you hit it. Rectangular dogs with flat butts = sitting like that for almost hours. LOL
Hey SALT, do you have a real job? Just asking, cause I don't , but if you do, I would love one like it. Must be fun to not work at work.
Hey Marie, did you happen to notice that until you took the bait, he hadn't posted any follow-ups to his initial installment of boring drivel? Hmm...
Damn! You should have let this sleeping dog sleep.
David Koresh is dead. 'nuff said.
YES, CHILLAXIN, I DO HAVE A JOB. WE'RE CURRENTLY HIRING. EMAIL ME AT BOILTHEWATER@GMAIL.COM FOR FURTHER DETAILS
DAVID KORESH WAS A NOBLE AND DECENT MAN. EMAIL ME AT BOILTHEWATER@GMAIL.COM FOR FURTHER DEBATE REGARDING THAT STATEMENT. I PROMISE I'LL WIN
Now, I agree - Mel Gibson makes me sad and I wouldn't be picking his photo out of a trash can at all.
Makes me wonder if it was an autographed photo of him perhaps?
I think the fact that THIS photo - a photo of a Daschound begging for food - was BEHIND - or 'hidden' behind a photo of Mel.
Very strange....very strange indeed.
Maybe this dog is famous or wanted by the FBI or something. lol
I love this find - it makes me giggle and want to get a dog.
But yes, you should NEVER feed your dog table scraps - it's so bad for them.
I knew someone who had a daschound that got table food. She was huge, and could barely move around. Had to be lifted up to take down the stairs to go outside....sad, very sad.
Wonder what this dog's name is or if there was any information on the back of of the photo.
That wiener got all the good stuff.
I could beg too, but I choose not to.
The little food whore.
I wonder what prompted someone to hide this photo in a picture.
WOAH! Some one actually impersonated me.... weird.
Shelly, yes my cat pees in my laundry basket and the laundry on the floor, which is why it always gets put away imediately, so it can be a good thing.
I smell bacon!
oh, nevermind - it's just sausage.
i <3 SALT. this find is boring. boring boring boring sydney.
i wanna see the pix of mel gibson. i think that would have been more interesting.
this reminds me of when i was growing up going to my aunt's house...
dog and eveerything :)
Hey, checking this out! That is my favorite find ever. I even made it my screen saver.
I've been impostered again!
Creepy!
You know the shadow game that kids used to play in grade school? I feel like I've been transported back there.
You know, I don't think my cat ever peed in the laundry basket. Just everywhere else.
I'm with you Clover - why would Joanna take the picture and not the books?
WOW -- the carpet, the cigarette case, the feeding of table scraps to the dog, it all SCEAMS 70's to me!!
(But then again, I'm TRAPPED there!)
Maybe they put photo of Mel Gibson over this picture because the sweet little doggie trash disposal had passed away?
But Mel Gobson? That's so 80's!!!
agreed with why anyone would want a framed picture of mel gibson and leave books lying in a garbage can. mel's no good to my jewish brethren. looks like that poor dog is trapped between two tables, a wall, and an overeager dog-woman. i'd be begging to get the hell outta there.
imitation is the highest form of flattery, supposedly. Mostly its just obnoxious.
Yeah, SALT, this is a fairly boring Find.
i changed my mind about Mel Gibson, after he was on Rosie O'Donnel's show, and he took her treasured doll of hi John Smith character from Pocahontas, and sat on it. Not that i think its s fabulous doll, or the movie was high art, or anything, or even that Rosie is the cat's meow, but i thought it was disrespectful to Rosie.
I woulda left it there, too, and picked up the books. Where is joanna, so she can defend her actions. If i ever sent something in to found, i'd be checking every day to see if they posted it.
imitation is the highest form of flattery, supposedly. Mostly its just obnoxious.
Yeah, SALT, this is a fairly boring Find.
You have a good point Trapped. Even if he didn't think highly of the doll, sitting on it is a bit much. (He SAT on it? I didn't hear about that. What a weirdo)
I would totally choose Bruce Willis over Mel Gibson any day.
Clover, it's actually spelled "Dachshund". I know a woman who incorrectly pronounces it "dash hound", but if you've ever studied the German language, you'd know it's pronounced "dox hoond" (that oo as in hood, not food.) Hope that helps. 8-)
he was being rather derisive about the doll, embarrassed, i guess. it was weird. he's weird.
bruce willis..yes.. jason latham (sp?) omg yes. Hot, and sexily accented, as well.
UNWORTHY BEGGED ME TO ELOPE WITH HER TO AUSTRIA BUT I'M MORALLY OPPOSED TO MARRIAGE
stratham, not latham.
SALT, i dont think i'm man enough for her. I told her you might be.
Mel Gibson's picture belongs in the trash.
My cat pees in the litter box and sleeps in the laundry basket...such a rebel that one.
It's true. On my knees. It was a humiliating way to find out how Unworthy I am. Still, we'll always have Nashmare. Ich liebe dich, Salt.
Now if I could only find a man somewhere between Al and Salt. <sigh> I must be having a midlife crisis....
IT'S TRUE. SHE MADE ALL SORTS OF PROMISES:
I'LL LEAVE MY KIDS FOR YOU, SALT
I'LL LET YOU HAVE A MISTRESS, SALT
I'LL PAY FOR THE TRIP TO AUSTRIA, SALT
I'LL GET YOUR NAME TATTOOED ON MY FOREARM, SALT
I'LL BUILD A TIME MACHINE AND GO BACK TO A TIME WHEN I COULD BIRTH TEN BOYS FOR YOU, SALT
TO NAME A FEW
That's more than a few, but please don't give away all my secrets, Salt. I'm still workin on that time machine.
Okay, first, the green bean is not a green bean. Back in the day, the house's phone lines were run along the baseboard like that, and painted the same color as the wall, except in the central spots where it was attached to the wall, which is what looks like the green bean. I have also had very good luck with Doxies, and my baby was just as cute as the one in the picture, and yes, my cat will pee in the laundry too. It does keep it put up rather nicely though. I have to say I love the pic, laughed at many of the comments, and just shook my head at some. Koresh a fine upstanding citizen, come on. Obviously, for this guy, "de nial" is still a river in Egypt.Otr, maybe he's just yanking our chain to foment hate and discontent. I suppose if that's what blows sunshine up his skirt, well more power to him.
Mel Gibson is pretty creepy. I'd rather even be with Screech over him.
And choosing a photo over books? And why was all this stuff in the trash anyway? An eviction?
Lots of us have jobs where we're not running our asses off from 8 - 4, chillaxin.
blows sunshine up his skirt.. lol @ that, Kat. are you sure thats not a green bean?
I hate it when people short form things, to make themselves feel like they're part of some special clique. Doxies.. just say the freaking word, its no easier to say than dachshund, no fewer syllables..nothing.
Hey, that's my dog!
I've got to head back to the Salt Mine, er... job site. Be back after 5.
Hey Salt, when you get over your moral opposition, email me at unworthy@secondhandparochialschoolgirlsuniforms.wah to humiliate me further. xo
Sorry, Mr Simon, if my earlier use of the word Doxies offended you. I was attempting to avoid the Spelling Police because I wasn't sure how to spell Dachshund but knew I could manage Doxies.
Darn, I thought Freon meant "doxies" as in floozies.
Kat, you crack me up!
Trapped - I agree about Stratham too....mmmm. Love British accents.
The Kat in the Kettle, you have the most intellegent comments I've heard on found in a long time. Keep coming back.
Very interesting find story, Joanna! How'd the job search go Plastic?
Yes, the picture of mel gibson was old school. like from mad max days. and i thought it was really odd for it to be framed.. so i had to pick it up.
Don't worry. I do agree that any movie he has touched nowadays totally blows.
actually, phone lines were run thru the basement.. held up by little ceramic disks, since the mid-60's (much like the electric)
unless your house was in the ghetto
GREEN BEAN!!!
OMG, SALT has split into 2 personalities!!
Well maybe not, because the *new* DAVID KORESH personality is just as abrasive, opinionated, egotistical and narrow minded as the old SALT.
Know why he was missing for a few days and showed back up??
No other message board in the entire cyber universe could put up with this spewing of BULLSHIT!!
(I put the BULLSHIT in caps so his wee little brain would understand it)
Somehow it doesn’t surprise me DAVID KORESH is one on his heroes.
He was just as misguided and egocentric as you are!
And no, I would NEVER email you to argue that point – I don’t want your mental contamination any closer to me that this message board!
HAHAH. COMMENT OF THE DAY. RIGH THERE, FOLKS
So, Joanna Wilbur, the burning question is what books did you overlook, for mel gibson, where in the garbage.
not offended, there isnt much that offends me. It was Kat's comment that caught my eye, however, not yours. I understand shortforming words, when it saves time, syllables, letters. just not when the 'short' form is as long or as much trouble as the original word. I guess you're explanation for the use of doxies is ok. I have to agree, tho, it does sound like a word meaning floozie.
And i hate the way people don't care for their dogs and let them get so fat that their weenies drag on the ground. That's gotta hurt.
I've seen every blue-eyed floozy on the way - hey! (I haven't seen any doxies, though. They must be hiding in the trees with the sharkodactyls.)
And speaking of annoying usage of short form, a friend of mine was tending bar one evening at a local watering hole, when some Yalie strolled up to the bar and asked for a "Nukie."
"A what?" asked my friend.
"Nukie. You know, as in Newcastle."
"Oh. No. You can't have a 'Nukie'."
(Question for the punctuation obsessed: Did I do that right, putting the period between the single quotation mark and the double quotation mark? I know I could Google it, but that would be boring."
Salt, can I be your mistress. I am sure unworthy will share.
p.s.
what's with the gingham dish towels?
SALT's true love is Mona Lisa. I think he has her tied up in his basement. I don't think he likes to share, Kate.
Nah, Mona Lisa is hiding behind Kitten's skirt.
DON'T MAKE REX JEALOUS AGAIN
Kitten's mini skirt isnt big enough for kitten to hide in, let alone anyone hide behind.
Actually Tucker, that only worked for those houses that have basements, and, living in an area that is only a few feet above sea level, not really a reality around here. Also, the picture has that look of a late 60's, early 70's photo and there is a good chance the phone lines were put into the house before your switch over in the mid 60's or so. Look just before, and/or just after the "green bean" and you can see the thin rounded line of telephone wire.
I use Doxies cause it has been the way they were spoken of around me, although it does make it easier to spell than Daschound, and who knows, the time it takes to type those 3 letters could keep me from something important, could keep me from saving a life. It's just a cute little pet name, and if anyone was offended, well, I won't say get a life, or anything else so harsh, but perhaps you should reexamine your priorities. A pet name for a dog breed should not call up near the same ire as say... dog fighting rings or anything. I still think salt is just trying to get our panties in a bunch. His/her type simply thrive on the discomfort and irritation of others. It's like those kids that picked on you for being both smart and cute in school. Once you learned to really ignore him, or even worse, look at him and laugh, he left you alone. So, and I am no better, because I did so too, but each time we say anything to him, it simply feeds his ego. I have a feeling he probably trolls websites, looking for places to post his drivel so that it gets maximum exposure and maximum carnage.As I said before, if that's what he gets excited about, well, everyone has their kinks.More power to him.
Yeah man, Kitten's skanky!
My friend's mom had that cigarette case and that dog, but not those nails. The dog was obnoxious as fuck, snapping, mean and horny all the time, with a little red marking pen like eggs'.
I know it's because the thing was raised poorly, but it still makes me hate the breed by association. I'll take a boston over a weiner dog any day (and a cat over any dog).
Floozy, Doxie, Trollop and Tart... How may I direct your call?
A weiner's weiner dragging the ground! That makes me laugh. But, then again, I am *very* easy to entertain. Not as easy as that doxie, Kitten, but easy, nonetheless. Yeah, I did it, I made nonetheless one word. I like it that way.
Rex -
As an aside, I bred my Boston to a Dachshund. Talk about ugly puppies. But their weiners didn't drag the ground, either.
I bet SALT's drags the ground, too.
haha, I did look through the books. I remember that I only picked up one : Isaac Asimov's "The Universe: From Flat Earth to Quasar"... Remember I already had a handful of stuff and was walking to class.
oh man, i bet it does....
That's quite the law firm, Freon. Do unworthy and Kate work there?
"I bet SALT's drags the ground, too."
Only because he has not yet evolved to walking upright.
Salt doesn't have a penis.
it takes skanky to know skanky.
YOU'VE NO IDEA THE MAGNITUDE OF MY MEMBER
you're mostly all wrong about SALT. He's not a troll, but he is a troll in training.
He recently discovered that he can slack off at work almost as much as me and chose this as one of the websites he'd peruse. Then discovered (like all of us) that the internet is for deception and false identity as entertainment. he started out with a ridiculous persona, got a lot of attention and then let his real life bleed into it too much, fruck out (a week or so back) posted with a different name (Wentworth something) and is now recovering from over-doing it.
He's either going to find something productive to do at work, or suddenly realize how much of his life is being wasted there and make a radical change.
If you don't like him, ignore him, or make fun of him. but recognize that some of us (myself included) do like him and that your presumptuous "nobody likes you" comments are more of a waste of time than anything he writes.
He's mostly a good person, trying to be a better person, but his conservative Texas upbringing has swamped him with gender stereo-type baggage and a tendency to believe militia conspiracy theories (i'll grant that Koresch got right propper fucked by the ATF, but he was hardly a noble and decent man, dude.)
HIS ONLY FAULT WAS MARRYING A 14 YEAR OLD, SUPPLE, INNOCENT, PURE GEM. WHO DOESN'T DREAM OF FINDING THAT NIGHTLY?
Hotmom on the other hand is a dumb cunt.
don't tell me you think Bush is doing a good job and expect not to get called a cunt.
that wasnt rex, talking, not that last one, i dont think. he's way more well spoken thank to resort to using offensive language like that. Grow up, impostor.
Floozy Doxie Trollop and Tart.
Yes, Mr. Simon. Since this is a fantasy firm any one you want to work here does. May I put you through to voice mail?
I don't know, Rex has always had it out for hotmom. I believe he secretly wants her and her britle, bleach blonde hair.
I think my heart just broke... I thought we taught our DACHSHUND how to do that trick! :o( Apparantly she must have known how to do it all along.... Ours doesn't beg like that for our food though, just hers and her toys... oh well.. at least I can still spell better then everyone else- sound it out with me now.. dachs hund)
I told you SALT wants me.
If hotmom applied to Floozy Doxie Trollop and Tart, would she get a job?
That's all me nasty talk, the imposter doesn't have enough guts to use that language, and i'll wgager not enough passion about politics.
it's shorthand. Nobody here wants to hear me rant about Bush's policies, but anyone who supports him needs to be called out. NEEDS to be. I consider this a conversation and i wouldn't be able to live with myself if i politely let pro-bush comments slip past unassailed in any conversation.
YOU AND EVERY OTHER LIBERAL AMERICAN. THROW IT AWAY WITH THE PSYCHIATRIC MEDICATIONS, RECREATIONAL DRUGS, POEMS, RELIGION AND PHILOSOPHY SERMONS
HEY! I'm a girl in law school, AND I'm a floozy, doxie, trollop AND tart. FDTT P.C. L.L.O
Please give me a job! :)
Is that the corner of some Holly Hobby dress? Smokes, makes dog do stupid tricks, red nails,lounges in holly hobby dress. I bet she's wearing one of those big ass bonnets...crazy "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" shit going here. I tell you...
it's creepy.
Flargy -- 'Newky' (not 'Nukie') is short for Newcastle Brown Ale. Jolly nice stuff but I didn’t think it got exported? If your Yalie wasn't English he was just showing orff.
Mind you, the barman that used to serve ‘Newky’ also referred to Younger’s Tartan Ale (’orrible beer) as ‘Tarty’. 'Pint of Tarty? That'll be sixteen pence please' (it was a long time ago).
I thought the thing on the edge of the carpet was a dog poo or a slug!
Can't work out the geography of the photo or the angle it's taken from. Not that I could care very much.
Faded colours do suggest 1970s or even older.
Today's comments tiresome beyond belief... yawn... apart from Freon's law firm -- brilliant! Very Noel Coward, that line. Reminds me of the solicitors who did the deal on my house -- name of Donne, Mileham and Haddock (but I dealt with a partner named Mr Smith – most disappointing). Perhaps there should be one called Newky, Tarty, Abbot and Grolsch.
SALT, i think i've made my views of liberalism, poetry, religion, drugs (recreational and "medicinal") all too abundantly clear.
THANK FUCK I ONLY READ 1/4 OF YOUR COMMENTS
Damn! I do some work and I come back to find I miss all the good stuff... Like how did Pepper find out I was a Doxie?
Jonathan, I'm very familiar with Newcastle. I drank it almost exclusively for a few years, but ultimately got bored with it. I agree though, it's a great beer. I still enjoy one from time to time.
I did briefly think about how I should spell it, but quickly decided that it really didn't matter, because "Newkie" or "Nukie" is just a stupid thing to call a beer, no matter how you spell it.
FUCKING FAMILIAR WITH BEER, YEAH
I HAVE 2 DWI'S TO SHOW FOR MY RELATIONSHIP WITH BEER.
I got one two years ago, but I don't go on a public forum and brag about it. It is nothing to brag about.
umm, apparently you do now.
that looks like my dog. she stand up like that all the time.
I love to know that you are a man who is able to commit. Many men would quit after 1 DWI, but not my SALTY. You don't give up! Awwww. (insert lovesick sigh here)
hot mom - I don't think SALT was bragging.
It's nice to love someone who can commit. Not so nice to love someone who needs to be committed.
But someone who needs to be committed makes a great scapegoat.
I DON'T HAVE ANY DWIS, DUIS, OR PUBLIC INTOX CHARGES. I WORK IN LAW ENFORCEMENT...
True. Blame it on the wacko. No one will believe him if he denies it.
Thanks Flargy -- I didn't know it travelled outside the UK. Lucky you! I used to think of it as 'Newquay' but that's a place in Cornwall. Wikipedia says it's Newkie: [quote]
In Newcastle, the beer is often called 'Dog' (or simply 'Broon'). The 'Dog' name comes from the euphemism "I'm going to walk the dog" or "I'm going to see a man about a dog" - meaning "I'm going to the pub" ... In southern parts of the country it is often referred to as "Newkie Brown". [end of Wiki quote]
Cheers!
Calling beers stupid names seems widespread. Anyone for Old Peculier? Bitter and Twisted? Bishop's Finger? Oh, British and quaint. I see.
SALT, everything makes sense now! Your a cop!
oops. I meant "you're" instead of "your"
HHAHAH good job, u found out hes a cop!!! hahaha...funny =]
NOT A COP
Oh for the love of crap! I've seen sites shut down for this kind of bullsh*t.
Get a life people.
FOCUS!
Comment on the find and move on.
Don't date, hook-up, flirt or start a pissing contest here.
It's just beyond obnoxious.
David K and SALT aren't a split personality at all - they are just the same idiot, through and through.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING A MINUTE OUT OF THAT REAL LIFE OF YOURS TO POP INTO THE DIGITAL COMMUNITY AND REGURGITATE WHAT 23,000,000 OTHER SUPERIOR PEOPLE HAVE.
MAYBE YOU CAN COME BACK HERE, FOR A SECOND TIME TOMORROW, AND SEE THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED
<sigh> so much angst
Those aren't cigarettes on the table, it's a small change purse. It's red leather, and you can see the gold hinges go down the side and the two small metal balls on the top (facing the direction towards the dog) that clasp it shut.
Can you give me a boost? I wanna go back to lunch time when the jokes were funny....
Christina, we used to put our cigarette packs in those cases. There's a pocket for your lighter, too. (So, glad I quit that.)
Andrew, pour post is not on topic either.
On other fronts... It makes so much sense. Capt'n All-Caps is a frikkin' Security Guard! Sits around some office at a desk and has access to a computer. Can check the updates after doing the rounds every 30 minutes! Usually kids in their '20s don't take those jobs - it's more like the retirees looking for a little extra cash.
I meant "your" post...
Andrew, you're sending mixed messages.
And what in the world is a pissing contest? Do you have to piss the most or the longest or the farthest or what? Who judges such a spectacle? And what is the prize? And how could that possibly be a fair match pissing online?
You know, if you consider changing your name, Norma Jean may flirt with you a lil bit. 8-)
Golden showers?
On-topic: is that a BIC lighter in the side pocket? Forgive me if this question has already been asked and answered. I've been forbidden to read the first 100 comments today.
I don't know how to feel about having paid attention.
SALT works in law enforcement, he is involved in money collections, probably fines of some sort--I'm guessing. Salt is also an essential nutrient.
That looks like the good china and check out the fancy table cloth. With the finger nails and case, I'd put it as the late 70's in middle America. I wonder if this was a holiday or something.
YEAH, I DON'T WORK AT THE JAIL
I CITE PEOPLE THAT SKIP OUT ON BAIL FOR DISTRICT COURT. MYSTERY SOLVED
I'm not a big fan of the photo finds either for some reason. This one in particular I don't like because an ex of mine had 2 of these weiner dogs and they were not housebroken and they were incredibly incontinent...the dogs would just go the bathroom anywhere, then my ex's mom would announce, "can someone take the dog out to go the bathroom?" EVEN THOUGH IT JUST DID. So dumb.
The funniest (ok, and grossest) thing ever was when one of the dogs was licking my ex's mom's feet (which were nasty to look at, ugh, and the sound of the licking was disgusting), and then the dog threw up everywhere. Ok so I like most dogs, I've just had a bad experience with these ones...when I saw the photo they're all I could think of.
I didn't think that spelling looked right early this morning, but I didn't have time to check the dictionary, so i copied and pasted it from the previous post. I figured everyone would pool their resources and help out, and it turned out that's what y'all did! Thanks! (Not that I will remember it the next time I have to write the word.) (I do pronounce it correctly, however.)(Notice how I have avoided writing the word again. Correct spelling forgotten already.)
LOL! Of course you do....LOL...OF COURSE you do.
So, being a jack-ass is not just part of who you ARE...but also a big part of your occupation.
LOL!
We had a weiner dog named "Tony" when I was a kid. He would sit up on his hind end during dinner hoping for a bite too! He was more than happy to eat the canned green beans that I absolutely hated and would slip to him when the folks were not watching. Thank god for Tony and his love of canned green beans which to this day I still will not eat!
IF THAT'S HOW YOU PERCEIVE, I SUPPOSE.
IN MY OPINION, PEOPLE THAT RUN AWAY FROM FELONY CHARGES ARE THE JACKASSES. IT ONLY HURTS YOU MORE DOWN THE ROAD
Jasper Jasper I love Jasper. He is the best dog. by Sara
HA
OK, I'M OFF. I HAVE A FULL ITINERARY FOR THE EVENING AND HALF OF IT INCLUDES SITTING IN A SHITTY BAR
It's bad enough that they commit the felony charges, and worse if they run from them. But also logical, because felony genes are probably the same as trying-to-escape genes.
Bye SALT. It was short but sweet.
did all the grammarians go out to the shitty bar with SALT for a round of nukies?
and flargy, i think it's .'"
and dogs scare me, especially little ones and big ones.
yea...
Bails are too low anyway , and that's the fault of soft judges . And getting papers from one jurisdiction to another is is effective as tossing them in the wind and hoping they'll get there .
Desperate Cynic,
how come I know what a golden shower is, but not a pissing contest? Wait...OMG...are those the SAME THING?
(I never won any prizes for THAT....)
Is AS effective .
Would it seem too much like groveling if I asked to judge that for myself? I might have a prize to offer after all.
The message board has become increasingly bitchy over the past few months.
Once in awhile, we have a day in which the comments are mostly supportive and entertaining, and there's tolerance of and room for everyone's quirks. With so much suffering everywhere, it makes no sense to create more here.
Looks just like mah Max. (Don't blame his lame-o name on me, we adopted him, and it came with.)
Maxie also will sit on his butt for hours if he thinks there's a tasty morsel in it for him, bless his heart.
Daschunds are the greatest.
Dear Mr. Cynic,
Thank you for your interest in judging the First Annual Golden Ale Pissing Contest and Shower.
I am forwarding a partial list of possible contestants and candidates to serve in various capacities throughout the festivities. THIS LIST IN NO WAY ASSUMES ACTUAL INTEREST BY THOSE INDIVIDUALS LISTED.
1. Herve
2. Turbo
3. Midlife Crisis
4. Rex Winsome-no, not Rex
5. Flargy
6. Rob
7. Jonathan
8. Kevin Schmevin
9. Al Simon
10. Tucker
11. Andrew Mellowsnit
12. Edgar VD
13. Salt
14. Mel Gibson
15. Hotmom
As Director of Decorating and Refreshments, I can offer 10 cases of beer for the initial participants. Latecomers cannot be assured of libations from the D & R budget., so it would benefit all to have a firm commitment regarding participation in this years games.
Thank you again and please stay in touch,
Ms U.N. Worthy
Director D & R
G.A.P.C.&S.
WHAT?! I am not invited!? I am going to sit and pout! Why Hotmom invited? It's harder for women like us to pee in an arc like males. What!
Late in the game, but, Flargy, you did use your punctuation correctly.
I, too, think that the picture was probably hidden because the dog died, and it made the owner too sad to look at all day. So she found a picture of Mel Gibson (back when he was sexy... well... sexier) to cheer her up.
'Now THAT’S...' -- I misread your comment as 'BALLS are too low' and thought we were still talking about dachshunds?
Unworthy, thank you so much for your kind invitation. I trust the plane ticket is on its way.
I believe p*ssing contests involve high walls and inordinate quantities of Newcastle Brown. This (rather unfairly) tends to rule out female contestants.
This year’s event will be followed by the lighting farts competition (Bic lighters will be provided).
Bye for now – got to go and groom an orangutan (oops, that sounds like a euphemism).
Thank you for replying so quickly, Sir.
<Note to pyrotechnic committee: Bic lighters>
Thanks for asking Christine! The interviews were good. The one in the morning was better than the one in the afternoon. That one I had to fill out 8 sheets of paper. They do a background check, drug test, and credit check. For a marketing position. Yikes.
Thanks unworthy, but you forgot Norma Jean, Pepper,sand and plastic.
PEPPER AND PLASTIC'S COMMENTS ARE EASY TO OVERLOOK. I DON'T REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT EITHER OF THEM
That's probably because I didn't comment on this picture. It's dumb. The dog is particularly dumb. I wish it would just go smoke a cigarette or get a hobby, instead of standing there with that stupid look on it's face.
Correction: its face. Apparently I'm dumb as well.
I am only entering this pissing contest if I get to pee in a laundry basket....
<note to relay crew: laundry baskets>
Herve, they were not forgotton. Their personalities did not qualify them for inclusion.
I really don't think you are more fascinating than them , unworthy .
Shut up, Nikki. You're late for typing class.
Mama always said, "it's better to be pissed off than pissed on... Unless you have rubber sheets!"
Carry on.
HAHAHA, Pissing! That's what I always say to my kids, "I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on!" I never heard the part about the rubber sheets, though....G'nite 8-)
Thanks for the invite. Although my arc pissing abilities are nonexistant I'd be glad to tear someone up. This has been the summer from hell, no other time in my life can even come close. So yeah, I'll join in but I'll be chugging my empty bottles of Jack at the other contestants.
Thank you for replying, Ms Hotmom. We certainly look forward to your participation in The First Annual Golden Ale Pissing Contest and Shower.
<note to security: code H-O-T-M-O-M>
Yeah, people think I'm not smart because I'm a weiner dog with flappy ears and a waggy tail, but when they make me do stupid tricks like this, later I go shit under their beds. Never underestimate the passive-aggressive powers of the weiner dog!