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August 26, 2008 |
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Dear John Sticky on Stones Ticket
FOUND by Chris
in Detroit, Michigan
I found this as I was going in to see the Rolling Stones, at Ford Field. I can imagine someone getting handed this, with the ticket, as the last goodbye. I can only assume that it was from a girl to a guy, but there's no real way to tell.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I'd say it is from a guy to a girl. The brevity is just devastating.
can you imagine if you had a quarter for each time you heard the phrase "he's just not that into you..."
man, that would be a lot of quarters.
it would pretty much bankroll a trip to the moon:-)
Those quotations marks around "Friends" are SO honest.
leaving no room for interpretation, he crossed out "better" and used the unequivocal "best."
i like this guy.
Ah yes, "let's just be friends." The ultimate cop-out. Like it's going to happen! This guy will avoid her (or him, whatevs) like the plague in future. I once took a person I imagined to be mature at their word and tried to remained friendly only to be avoided as if I were stalking them! (I wasn't.) Of course this "mature" person broke up with me and got engaged to my best friend at that point, the next day. Apparently everyone else but me knew I was just the "transition" person, and the "bridge" so the "mature" one could get to know my best friend without being obvious.
Still hurts, too, after all these years. Kudos for being honest, writer, about the breakup, but call it by its name. "I don't want to see you anymore. Anywhere."
I know this is all pretty stereotypical but in this case I have to assume it is a man to a woman. Not only on account of the handwriting, but for the fact that women don't usually write or say things like "I don't care to get into a big discusion about it."
I agree completely messygirl. That was a big one for me as well.
Please, may I have my phone and keys back before you ruin my credit, and come into my apartment to kill me?
Heard that before...
Dear "Friend,"
Since "we" can no longer have a "relationship," I need to have my "phone" back, as well as my "keys." The "Friends" on that "tv show" didn't much use "keys" to get into each other's "apartments," so you won't need one to get into mine.
Not a whole lot will "change." Except that your hopes for a "relationship" (by which I think you mean "sex") are being dashed on the "rocks".
Also, once this settles out, I won't have to put those little floating "marks" around every "noun" when I talk with or write to you.
"You can't always get what you want...
but I DO want my key."
OMG Librarian! Your post has me cracking up!
My first thought was guy to a girl.
Hey, at least he told her and didn't just disappear.
My guess is it's from a guy to a girl.
I must've offended the FOUND gods... I cannot sign in.
Being dumped on a Post-It Note always seemed like the ultimate relationship insult until I saw this: It's not even on a Post-It Note. This looks like it came from one of those generic pads that you think is a Post-It Note until you try to stick it on something and realize it's missing the sticky strip. Then you've got to go searching for some tape or a magnet or something to prop it up.
Whoever wrote this is cold.
guy to girl. Girls always want to discuss things. Notes are a lousy way to break up. If you can't do it face to face, you're just a coward.
ewww...
What does he mean "best if we caulked it?"
Alan, that relationship needed to be sealed shut. That's what the caulk (ewww) is for.
Fellow Foundhounds, please choose which is the coldest breakup method:
Text message
Email
Note/post-it note
Phone call
Telling a third party to tell you it's over.
I wouldn't have believed the 3rd party thing if I hadn't watched it happen...in public, in front of about 10 other people. "Uh, BTW, Joaquin asked me to tell you..."
That's coooold.
"...there's not a whole lot that's going to change."...because we'll still be friends with benefits.
@Lars, good observation on the better/best clarification, which leads me to believe (here it comes), that this is from a female to a male. Or perhaps even a male to a male. Call it gut feel, but the need for a 'relationship' sez: "I'm tired of putting out and getting nothing in return". Not too many guys get tired of putting out (I'm a guy). It COULD be a gay relationship ... in fact, now that I think about it, that's where my money is.
Male to male. And a COLD/cowardly way to do it, unless the recipient has a history of being abusive. At any rate, if I were the recipient, I would mail the keys/phone back and mooooove on.
@ basil,
i agree- 3rd party trumps the others...
Berger? Is that you?
I'm pretty sure I've gotten this note before. Only not so much in note form as in disappear-off-the-face-of-the-earth form. And that gets my vote for worst way to break up with someone, if you must know. Still stings if I think on it too much.
"Friends" I could never be friends with someone I still LOVE. "Phone & Keys" I have return them...but I always get them back.
and for some reason I believe its a guy writting this......
@ not just another mouth: I recant my generic Post-It Note comment. Ouch.
@Baby Basil: revise your list to include the disappearing-off-the-face-of-the-earth method. Ouch again.
To the writer of this kiss-off note: Honey, if you're gonna be this cold and impersonal (not even a card or a whole sheet of paper, tiens!), even if the person gives you back your key, if I were you I'd change the locks. Because you are soooo sucking around for a revenge scenario.
The revenge scene in Amelie would be lighthearted enough, but I'm thinking more along the lines of a dead horse's head in your bed some night. Now THAT's revenge.
Change the locks...and sleep with one eye open.
baby basil
In person can be a rotten way to break up--like if you drive 2 hours to see him and then he dumps you in the mall parking lot. WTF!! that way he doesn't have to admit he has moved in with some coffee shop bimbo. Ugh!
Sounds like he's ending it before it starts-- "not going in the DIRECTION of a relationship..."
But what was he thinking giving out his keys so quickly? Maybe it started as a one-night stand, and he had to leave her his key so she could lock up his place before she left the next morning, after he had already left for work or class.
Then she assumed they were starting a relationship after that, so he stuck it out for a while out of sheer guilt (or lust?)-- but judging by the brevity of this note, he's ending it before it gets too far.
So, my guess? No jilted lover, just a jilted booty call...
"Coffee Shop Bimbo"
That book made for some great summer reading.
Over the phone can be pretty bad, too. I once had a long distance relationship with someone in Seattle. I had my plane ticket purchased to finally go visit him for the first time (he had been here on several occasions) when he called me the night before and told me not to come. No reason given, just don't come. That's a kind of an "ouch", as well. Oh, well, living well is the best revenge, as they say. And, Alan, you stole my "caulk" comment! :)
JodaBabes, Apparently I have offended the Found gods, as well. I can sign in, but I no longer exist here.
@baby basil & JodaBabes - Yep, the disappearance is the coldest. Especially just after you've been told "I love you. You're everything I've ever wanted." Dang! I thought I was completely over that, and here I am, heart ripped open again.
I really like you... I just don't want to see or talk to you. You know, ever.
Wasn't one of the first Sex & the City episodes about that? Didn't someone propose to Charlotte, then disappear?
Well... it's a little cold, perhaps the girl/guy that they are getting rid of is deaf?? No but then how would the phone fit into it? Hmmm deaf people don't use conventional phones....
@ Basil
I agree the third party thing sucks, I actually did use this method at one time, but simply because the breakupee did not speak English fluently and it would have been a disaster to try and tell them I didn't want to see them anymore
Wow! What a note! If you look you can tell it has been folded into a fairly small square i think he wrote it ran up to her placed it in her hand and ran away, Coward!
@ Curious
I actually disagree, I think the "Oh sorry I forgot to tell you I'm dating someone else and you weren't suppose to hear about it from Bob..." break up is the cooooooldest!
Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt!
P.S. Beware of Truck drivers named Dan ;) lol jk
‘I dont’t care’...?
‘If you look at, there’s not a whole lot thats going to chage’...?
‘I would like to get mty Key and pKone back’...?
Strange sort of semi-dyslexia, brought on by stress perhaps.
I have to say my first thought was girl to guy. (The thoughts are WAY too complicated for a man’s brain, and he certainly wouldn’t suggest calling it ‘Friends’ – more like ‘run away...’)
I imagine her folding it up into the little square, looking him straight in the eye, putting it into his shirt pocket and walking away. But doing it that way is going to make the logistics of getting the key and phone back very tricky.
(Who on earth gives their key and phone to someone they’re not planning to have a relationship with? Or perhaps he’d stolen them when he walked out of her apartment this morning – saying ‘Seeya at the Stones concert tonight’ perhaps??)
She said its really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning wont be lost or misconstrued
But Ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free
@ baby basil: 3rd party for sure
I googled "dumped lyrics" and this came up first. Seems appropriate...
Song for the Dumped by Ben Fold Five
1,2,3,4
So you wanted
to take a break
slow it down some and
have some space
well fuck you too
Give me my money back
give me my money back
you bitch
I want my money back
And don't forget
And don't forget
to give me back my black T-shirt
I wish I hadn't bought you dinner
right before you
dumped me on your front porch
Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every new day
Still I'm gonna miss you...
Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing's gained
And nothing's lost
At such a cost
The worst kind of break-up is when your spouse tells you "Honey, I'm gay." Been there, heard that. Not fun.
Hi, I'm the one that found this note. It was a great day...we had just been given three free tickets and I had just given the third away to a guy from Sudbury, Ontario...he could not believe his luck. Then I saw this on the ground.
I really, really like the line that just fits in on the bottom: "However I would like to get my key and phone back"...that's when you know it's really over!!
Sniff!...I'm so proud!
Congrats, Chris!! Thanks for sharing the Find!
For some reason, the first Stones song to pop into my head was Star Star, followed by Let it Bleed. Hmm.
My ex boyfriend (who has been an ex long enough that I've forgotten most of the bad, and reminisce longlingly about the good.. NOT a good thing..) Was a HUGE stones fan. He could easily have written something like this on the back of a concert ticket. (either one of us, really.) I probably HAVE a note from him, similarly worded. He didn't want to be a COUPLE anymore-- He wanted to be able to play aaround with whomever he chose, but of course he still wanted me around, working and paying the bills.. that sort of thing.
Ahhh the memories.
i think the guy (first instinct) who wrote this never delivered it...don't you think it would have been completely crumpled/torn to shreds/mutilated if the dumpee had actually received it?
@Jonathan: So that's what happened? It was Simon and Garfunkel telling him to just get himself free?
Question answered!
MLM, you reminded me of the absolute worst, take-the-cake breakup of all time. A friend of mine who had lived for 3 yrs in Korea and gotten serious about a young lady missed her so badly he paid for her to cross the world to visit him. She came, had a 2-week, all-expenses-paid, wait on her hand and foot vacation...and broke up with him just at the end of the fortnight. The day before he had planned to "pop the question."
I know him. He's uberdecent. She really missed out on something special.
I don't know her beyond a hello, and now I never want to.
I agree this note is probably from a guy based on the handwriting style. But to all the people saying a woman wouldn't break up via post-it note because they would want to talk things out, I submit the following: When I was in my mid-20s I was dumped by a woman via an email that was about the length of this note. I remember getting it while I was at work and being kind of confused by it. I retrospect, it's kind of funny actually.
Orininco, she sounds like a real piece of work. How sad :(
p.s. Sorry about butchering your name!
Haha, I finished with a guy earlier this week, and he gave me the whole "yeah well, I was going to end it anyway, I think we should just be friends...." thing. I just turned round and said "I don't think so" and handed him a box full of his stuff. If you aren't a good person when you are my boyfriend, you won't be a good person when you are a "friend". Bye!