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September 05, 2008 |
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Kentucky Girls
FOUND by Jessica
in Oswego, New York
I found this card folded up in the dining hall. I had no idea Kentucky girls had such a bad rep.
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The Nap June 16, 2005 |
Hand in Mouth January 02, 2006 |
Stupid x3 November 04, 2006 |
AJS April 01, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
+ You did it! Congrats to our FOUND friends involved in the Best Picture of 2009, The Hurt Locker!
+ FOUND #7 coverboy Willis Earl Beal, now in t-shirt form!
sounds like the note receiver is headed for a trip to Kentucky, and Miss Cute Smile wants to make sure his eye doesn't wander.
I'm with you, MONKEY...possessive much? Look at the not-so-subliminal messages here:
1. My smile is cute, unlike the girls you'll be seeing (whom I've never seen, of course, but I just know.)
2. Kentucky girls have no teeth (poor, ignorant hillbillies that they are. Of course, I've never been there, but I just know.)
3. REMEMBER, you're mine. I own you. I have no ring, and no promises to base this on, but I just know.
How do I know all this? Because:
4: I think we're amazing together! And that should be enough for both of us. Particularly for you. I've let you off the leash for this trip, but don't get any ideas. Baby wants what baby gets, and baby's got you by the short and curlies. Because--I just know.
Serves her right if he heads for the KY hills and never comes back.
This is so cute.
Its the little thoughts in life that mean the most.
@ baby basil, exactly what I thought too. She'll be ringing him every half hour and asking him "if he's ok" so she can check on him and those kentucky girls. And woe the day he says he's going to be a few hours late because the traffic's jammed, she'll be preparing the axe and the Huey Lewis** even before he comes home.
** - If you didn't understand that, watch American Psycho xD
maybe this has just started, him coming up to ny from kentucky and, havin' had a laugh about the neighbor's toothless daughter back home with the girl he just met already heading home again, or maybe after staying a couple of days...
however you want to look at it- it's a sweet little note to leave with, even though it wound up in here (thus indicating that it was lost first)
drive safe and have fun everyone^^
Okay, well, I think it's cute!
I wonder what *LUCKY IN KENTUCKY* can inform us about this?
I'm 38 and have already had 4 back teeth pulled...
Does that count?
what's with the found commentators suddenly thinking that the writer of every found item is crazy/possessive/in need of therapy?
let's make other deductions about a person's character. like, "oh, judging by that the writer must be a concert flautist."
looks to me like they hooked up while he was out of town, and now the Kentucky boy is headed home (back to the land of toothless girls?)
I wonder if they stayed in touch, or if he went back home to his girlfriend and erased the whole incident from his mind
hmmm...sure that's not a picture of a white board not a card?
Yes, Holly, you're on your way to being one of those toothless Canadian girls. Remember: floss daily!
Baby Basil, "Baby wants what baby gets" would make her far easier to get along with. Perhaps you meant "Baby gets what baby wants"?
...unfortunately, my jaws are wired shut and I can't unclench my teeth.
Umm. Huh? It's not "suddenly." Pretty much as long as they've had comments on Found, the commenters on Found have been thinking that the writer of every found item is crazy/possessive/in need of therapy?
(Is that called projection? I guess I'd know if I'd gotten that therapy I so desperately need.)
Grumpy, I'm pretty sure it's a "card" made on a piece of 8 1/2 X 11" printer paper. You can see fold lines. (So I'm thinking he GOT the note.)
I understand the artist's need for brown marker to show her lovely brown tresses. But the brown sharpie "I think we're amazing together" just ruins it for me.
Thanks for a Great Find today, Found. Keep it up. I think we're amazing together!
Okay, the psychological stability of our author aside, that sentence structure is just bothersome.
It would be far more interesting if it read, "When I think of you, I smile, which is cute because I, unlike those Kentucky girls, have teeth."
I just think it's better.
@ huh ... plus, teeth are a necesary component for a professional flautist's embouchure.
That's why you see so few smiling professional flautists in Kentucky. (I'm sure I never have.)
Well, huh in Ottawa. This is a strange find to say that about. I will agree that sometimes we're a little cynical about things, and call stuff creepy way too often. But this one? clearly she's insecure about herself, and feels the need to put down others, in order to make herself feel better. Usually when people say negative stuff about other people, its to throw attention at something else, so people don't notice whats wrong about the negative commenter.
I agree, MONA!
Remember people...
*ONLY FLOSS THE TEETH YOU WANT TO KEEP!!*
BTW, GRUMPY...the 4 teeth I had extracted...were my WISDOM teeth!!!!
So, I cannot feel mutual towards your statements!!!
Does anyone know WHY they are called WISDOM TEETH????
I'd LOVE to hear the explainations.<---sp?
Merely by a casual observance of the handwriting - it is clear to me that the author is a bookeeper at a small law firm in Altoona, Pennsylvania; enjoys biking; has issues with her parents; is a big fan of Styx; has never seen 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'; attends church sporadically; plays the lottery; has an abnormal fear of spiders and thinks Helen Keller jokes are funny.
It couldn't be any more obvious.
Kentucky comes in dead last (or near the bottom) in so many categories compared to other states, it wouldn't surprise me to find out that we're also lacking in the dental health category. Although depending on who you hang with once you get here, it may not be evident. My parents where born and raised in The Bluegrass State, and I can remember being taken to the dentist religiously from a young age. (I also better mention that Kentucky has plenty of good things going for it as well.) What do you think, Lucky?
That being said, the note writer should bare in mind that there's at least one thing a girl without teeth can do better than one with teeth. ;)
Maybe the Kentucky girls chew tobacco?
They do here where I live.
She looks like the Cheshire Cat.
@John: "bare in mind"? Your Freudian slip showing.
@Nightingale: d'oh!
oh, my... John.... you do know how to turn a girl's mind to dirty things, don't you. (i think i'll keep my teeth anyway)
Alan, good assessment, i was going to say exactly the same thing. You did forget to mention, tho, her sensitivity to peanut butter (not a full blown allergy yet) and her attraction to pink pens.
I'm with Child on this one. I think the guy had told Ms. Amazing some story about a toothless Kentuckian and she's just referencing it in her note.
That said, I have BIG LOVE in my heart for Kentucky and all of Kentucky's sons and daughters and aunts and uncles and step-kids, and in-laws and neighbors -- and further, I have BIG LOVE for their teeth.
Also, I think the "I think we're amazing together" is a bit creepy.
@Mary: congratulations on being with Child!!!
Yeah, that pink pen thing always confused me.
How nice.
Alan...you do know about red correcting pens, don't you?
Oh Mary, that's such good news. I'm going to start knitting right now. Is it a boy or a girl?
Flargy, i think the red correcting pen is before alan's time. omg i'd forgotten about that. lol
Johnny Depp and George Clooney are from Kentucky. Mmmm, yummy.
So are my grandparents, multiple cousins and aunts. My brother lived there for many years, as do my nephews still. They ALL have their teeth. They are fine smiles at that.
I hate generalizations, in general.
Do you wave the red pen over your paper and it magically corrects any errors?
Mary - children are such a blessing - congrats!
To think - our little Mary is all growed up and preggers.
I'll be sure to send you all baby picts!
Be careful sending those baby Picts to strangers, Mary--the grown-up Picts might object. And Picts are nothing to sneeze at; ask Hadrian. He had to wall them up into their own country to keep them from destroying the westernmost outpost of the Roman Empire.
(Item: obviously the Picts weren't much for sailing round the wall.)
Is a baby Pict a Pixel?
OK, I think the red pen was before my time, too. Spill the beans, someone.
So excited to see a post from Oswego because I live nearby. Obviously the writer is not from Hannibal or Phoenix, New York. If they were- they would be lacking some teeth as well.
Sure got purty lips for a non-Kentucky girl...hmmm...how did he lose this note? He probably read it and thought, "Man oh man, this bitch is scary!" and then threw the note away and ran for the Greyhound to go back to Kentucky.
I wonder if this guy is a dentist and she is warning him about his dismal career opportunities from the toothless girls in Kentucky?
Holly, if everything works according to nature's plan, wisdom teeth do not come in until approximately 18 years old - a time when one would hope to have accumulated some bit of wisdom or at least more than when the other adult teeth came in.
Add the Great Gonzo, Hunter S. Thompson, to the list of guys from Kentucky (Louavul to be exact).
You may find this hard to believe, mlm, but someone (not me) was making some sexual innuendo about a red correcting pen... i cant remember exactly how it went. As these things do, it went on a while, then got dropped...
Let's not forget: Ned Beatty, Rosemary Clooney, Tom Cruise, Florence Henderson, Ashley Judd, Lee Majors, Diane Sawyer, Muhammad Ali, Duncan Hines, Col. Sanders, and Larry Flint. (Ok, you can forget Larry Flint if you want to.)
All of these people have perfectly lovely teeth. Ned Beatty has pretty teeth AND a pretty mouth.
Jus' woan'in' the author of that thar note to know I took gooood care of 'im whilst he was herr.
And how could I forget Abraham Lincoln, who is turning 200 this year?
I can't vouch for the quality of Abe's teeth though.
@ John:
They was made of wood, I do believe.
haha..
Wood.
Sounds like my type of girl!! All toothy and stuff.
LOL. It's notes like this that separate the glass-half-empty from the glass-half-full crowds.
Toothless in Kentucky...the wooden teeth belonged to George Washington and they were extremely painful for him.
Does anyone remember Stan Freberg's History of the United States album? One of the classics of humor...there's a great line (one of many, many great lines) about George: "Talks up a storm in them wooden teeth!"
For the uninitiated...here's the origin of the red pen references:
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/883
Start with Eggs1234's comment at 9:46 AM. Then move on to my reply at 10:20 AM.
And then for the next few days, red-pendemonium ensued.
Not that it's important, but I have read that George Washington didn't have wooden teeth and didn't chop down a cherry tree either.
That's right, Terrie. He chewed it down.
Flargy-bargy?
Thanks for the trip down memory lane, worthy of re-reading if only as an example of the potential hilarity the Found comment section could be.
(I miss Rex.)
Thanks, Flargmeister. I knew we could count on you for that.
Nightingale - i miss rex too. I check out his website once in a while. he's very active in the theatre scene in milwaukee.
I, too, immediately caught the undertone of jealousy and possesiveness.
I wonder if she really thought she had written it coyly enough to pass it off on her partner as just an innocent "drive safe!" wish?
If it's as obvious to all of us it must have been immediately obvious to him as well. I wonder if he was the type to find it endearing and cute, or get that closterphobic trapped feeling of a suffocating gf?
Christina, if any further proof were needed of the girl's immaturity, the middleschool multi-fold that she never grew out of would give it away. Whoever said you can't fold a piece of paper more than 7 times never went to middle school.
The fact that it turned up here after being Found "folded up in the dining hall" leads me to the conclusion that the recipient dropped it there "accidentally on purpose" hoping she wouldn't notice while surrounded by her screamtalking dorm friends. Then he scuttled out the door heading for the hills of Kentucky.
"Take me home, country roads..."
He may not even have read it if it was still folded. I think this girl's crush (excuse me, "awesome luv4ever relationship") is all in her head.
I miss Rex too - and I don't even know who he is.
i wont tell you who he is, Alan. i dont want you to get jealous.
mona
it's already too late for that
-sigh-
I don't think she's psycho, maybe just a little insecure and trying to laugh about it.
i'm sorry alan. you werent my first crush.
Mona, I think you and Alan need to "check off" your "spoon box".
mmmm me too. lol
I miss Rex. He was a dog I had years ago and used to bite people.
I also like the HBO show Big Love.
I wonder how amazing they are together. It could be totally imagined.
Did George or Abe have a woody?
ooops..I meant the car but now I realize that came way after their time.
tee-hee
Hey, Sammy's Rex sounds like our Rex Winsome.
Funny, I've lived in Kentucky for most of my life and yet I have all my teeth! And braces, too.
I bet that guy found himself a sassy, whiskey-swilling, horse-racing, southern belle down here and never came home.
I'm from Kentucky and I have all of my teeth, so do most of the people I know.
I have teeth, thank you. Jesus.
i am from kentucky and thank you i have all my teeth and im not as dumb as those city slickers who think theyre better than everyone else i actually want to keep my teeth than to have them punched out by "those kentucky girls" =] thank you for our stupidness and im sorry i dont talk baby language like you
that person's never come into contact w/ porn star cody lane. ahh ohh fuck i could cum.