 |
March 30, 2008 |
|
 |
|
|
Control Yourself
FOUND by Grayton Cloos
in Arden, North Carolina
I found this folded up in a hymnal in my school chapel. It has eluded my efforts to find out who wrote it and to whom.
Sign in or register to start a profile and keep track of your comments. You may also post without creating a profile, but you'll have to answer some tough spam protection questions.
Read All About... May 28, 2007 |
I Hate Myself March 26, 2007 |
Ceiling Treasure January 15, 2007 |
Bad Frog August 02, 2007 |
 |
|
 |
         |
We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
how true. how very true. funny that it was in a hymnal at school. perhaps it is a very rigid sort of Christian school, and the writer is a free spirit who expressed himself a bit too much?
IT WOULD BE NICE IF THAT WERE ACTUALLY TRUE, AMY. UNFORTUNATELY, IT'S NOT TRUE. I KNOW PLENTY OF WOMEN (AND, YES, EVEN SOME MEN) THAT DON'T HAVE A DECENT GRIP ON REALITY OR CONTROL OF THEIR INHIBITIONS. THEY HAVE YET TO FIND SOMEONE TO THROW AND HOLD THEM IN LINE.
IT WOULD BE NICE IF I COULD SAVE EVERYBODY BUT I CAN ONLY DO SO MUCH, AMY
dress yourself or someone else will dress you
i think this is fake
wow...maybe next time turn your caps off.
I'm a big fan of a band called Muse, and sounds a hell of a lot like one of their lyrics.
Bathe yourself or someone else will bathe you
Amy, pay no mind to Salt s/he always types in caps
somebody once told me "the useful get used"
and was that all caps horse shit supposed to be a "god" voice or some such?
just came off as a d-bag
and yeah i could totally see this as a fake
good story about the hymnal though.
Medicate yourself or someone else will medicate you.
Arden, NC?! Cool!
My real name's Arden. I just use the name Ian because it's the closest name I could think of to the word "in." I'm not really in Indiana, either, I'm in Illinois. And I'm not in an inn, I'm in an apartment.
Whew. Feels good to come clean.
Feed yourself or someone else will feed you
F*&% yourself or someone else will f*&% you? hmm...will have to think about that one.
Great find. I love this find. It was found specifically to remind ME ! Thanks.This find just has so many meanings.
Ultra grateful for the kindergarten level spam question. too !
Good find, it might make today comments more interesting as of late. Hell, it brought Salt back out from under his rock. That's probably because it's about control. This note sounds like a mother writing to a bored, hyper, child in church. Or Mona writing to Chrome Toaster.
First time I've ever commented, but I read them all the time. So here goes in one word.
Fake!
Hey Jonathan (fake) in the UK. I don't think that this is fake. Back up your statement.
Change yourself, or someone will change you.
Censor yourself or someone else will censor you.
Sort youself out or someone else will sort you out.
Evaluate yourself or someone else will evaluate you.
Sell yourself or someone else will sell you.
Criticize yourself or someone else will criticize you.
Limit yourself or someone else will limit you.
Play with... oh no, perhaps not.
Hi there, other Johnathan!
'Fake' in what sense? Someone wrote it and someone Found it.
Best thing about this Find is the name of the finder:
Grayton Cloos.
Amazing name!
he sounds dutch. the finder, i mean.
Shut uppa yourself or someone else will shaddap a you.
Thought you were dead. Did not miss your faux wisdom.
@mona- I think one of your posts needs correction:
Love yourself or no one else will love you.
Drink your beer or someone will drink it for you.
yeah, trishia, that wasn't me. Imposters abound.
eat your chocolate, or someone else will eat it for you.
i seem to recall hearing this in a martial arts class i took a while ago.
Clip your own nasty toenails. Ain't nobody else gonna do that for you.
I seemed to be talking about this just last night.
Control yourself, or alcohol will control you.
Fake in which ways?
I like this. It may not be true in *every* case, but I preach it every day to the kids at school, so I'm glad someone else is reminding the world.
Hurt yourself or someone else will hurt you.
Help yourself because no one else will help you.
SALT! I'm glad to see you here again.
Do I need to find someone to throw?
Find someone to throw or someone will find you?
I'm thinking of the Staple Singers...
Respect yourself, na na na na na na na
Respect yourself...
Unfortunately, if you don't respect yourself, no one will respect you. Or, maybe that's not unfortunate.
sorry mona! I didn't even notice the impostor wasn't the real you- duh, their name is in black...
hope everyone is having a good day and keeping control over themselves.
this find makes me think of the brief stint with html here
I don't think it's (necessarily) fake. If it was found in the chapel, it may have been the main point of a sermon, or at least an assembly speech.
It's good advice anyway, no matter where it came from.
Take care of yourself; no one else will take care of you.
Or to put it in the wise words of Rabbi Hillel:
"If I am not for others, who will I be for?
If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
And if not now, when?"
As a template, the sentence can yield infinite combinations of tautologies and hortatory admonitions. I'm glad, for example, that some have already given thought to f&%$#ing themselves in order to spare the rest of us the trouble! But the original statement about control is so true. That's why Amy's in jail, like the rest of us in our own special ways.
@Salvator Rosa
Thanks for the laugh!
Control your children or your children will control you.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, INTERNET FRIENDS.
I AM THE BEST POSSIBLE VESSEL FOR THE WORD OF GOD, SOMETHING WITTY.
I hate all caps, I read it like someone is yelling and that hurts my brain.
It may not be someone else controlling you, but it will always be something else if it isnt you.
Even if you censor yourself, or evaluate yourself, or judge yourself, someone else is quite likely going to come along and censor, evaluate and judge you.
I don't doubt that the finder found this piece of paper, but the message is rather cliche.
Yes, shouting in caps violates the conventions of this form, but it's worth exploring Salt's writings in a larger context. We have extreme unction in the style, not least among them the enumeration of objects following the verb, which is a common poetic structure from Anglo-Saxon elegies. In common use, it survives today in texts like the Nicene Creed and the Lord's Prayer: "I believe in God, maker of heaven and earth, all that is seen and unseen, etc." Many of these forms were also borrowed by Joseph Smith when he wrote the Books of Mormon. I'm guessing Salt is a Latter-Day struggling with his culture's preoccupation with behavior-determined virtue. Emphasis on "guessing."
LMAO @ gorgon.
That's right, SALT's a born again Mormon! He's renounced his atheistic ways in his absence and returns to us as the vessel for the word of God. Praise SALT almighty!
Nah, he's still an atheist, and he think's God word belongs in a trashcan.
I don't get why a lot of people think this find screams fake. It seems real enough to me.
Few atheists begin that way. I'm an apostate Calvinist, myself. I've retained the belief in the essential decadence of humanity. I just don't want to burn anyone at the stake for it.
Interesting how authenticity keeps popping up. No way to know unless Davy has a room of interns fact-checking everything.
@Jonathan (the real) in London, England: Jonathan, as always, love your list and the chuckle toward the end.
@A Ghost in the Lost and Found, re clipping your toenails: Hon, go pay for a pedicure but be sure it's one with the spa chairs and whirlpool foot bath. You'll love it.
Bore yourself or someone else will bore you by handing you some trite, bullshit note like this one.
SALT yourself, or someone else will SALT you.
Kill yourself or someone will beat the crap out of you, drop a bee hive on your head, then point and laugh, while shouting lame cliches at you.
Unfortunately, even if you did control, love, respect, know, BE yourself, someone else will always try to change everything about you. Its just up to you whether you let them do it or not. And you could just end up very lonely in the process, but at least you would know who you are.
And thus He spake to SALT,
Now therefore if ye will obey my voice indeed, and keep my covenant, then ye shall be a peculiar treasure unto me above all people:
I can't control myself, I'm a spaz. And people keep their distance.
@Freon: Hon, I don't need to pay someone to touch my feet....<evil grin>
trishia, sometimes my name is in black, because i can't log in at work. But i never say anything about furr burgers. (this time is the exception)
Reminds me of a saying I grew up with:
Pray before you are prayed over (i.e. dead).
Religion is always so much fun.
Good find!
I would have also accepted,
"Control Yourself or Control Someone Else"
That would have been hi-larious.
So True.
No matter how you think about it, if you do something out of control, someone else will step in....most of the time.
Nightingale, how do you control your children?
To me this sounds like a parent threatening their child to behave in church.
How about all of you add me to myspace.
www.myspace.com/u_dropped_ur_elf_hat (:
Thankies.