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September 29, 2008 |
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Viola?
FOUND by Nikki Efko
in Greenville, North Carolina
Grocery List... interesting groceries.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Tampons and condoms...always my favorite combo at the grocery.
'ribbed condoms' so obviously in another person's handwriting....trying to give blunt hints to the boyfriend?
Nose, other way around, guy hinting to girl. This is the best list, ever: sounds like an awesome chicken pot pie! There's a big difference between a viola and voila. . .
This is a list of someone who's making a nice dinner for someone. (they don't cook much, so they'll make do with frozen). The last two items were added for kicks. Either by a friend or--hopefully--by the other person getting dinner.
this list makes me horny. And hungry.
Can Chicken? Like a chicken stuffed into a can? I especially like the extraneous "ribbed" on the condoms. Such an attention to detail for the rogue that added that to the bottom of the list. They also should add "pen" to the list because that one is on its last leg.
can chicken do the can can?
a glimpse (for what it's worth) into the mind of the Nascar enthusiast.
Sounds like red-neck pot pie for supper, with some S&M after dessert. Where's the duct tape?
Are we so sure they didn't mean "voila" instead of the finder's "viola?"
I mean, Ribbed Condoms and Ice Cream are pretty much a "Voila!" situation to me.
I think the "voila?" is a tentative reaction to the previous items listed (such as pie crust, vegetables, onion powder, etc.) that are probably part of some recipe, such as some sort of vegetable pie dish. I read it as if the list maker is going over the ingredients and wondering if it'll be a "voila!" situation, as in "voila it's that easy?"
Aaaand there it is. The dreaded shopping list. I knew when the parking-complaint note was posted, a list couldn't be far behind. In the Found universe, lists and parking threats go together like vodka and orange juice, or like colds and fever.
Don't you see? This person is either schizophrenic, or there are a million people just writing randomly on this list. The handwriting is so different with practically every item. I imagine a huge family with a 'universal' shopping list that anyone as they walk past can add to. The ribbed condoms are the contribution of the teenage daughter.
@spider: I think you're right about the teenage daughter adding condoms to the list. Reminds of an old joke that ends with:
"I didn't know you were so religious."
"I didn't know your dad was the pharmacist."
YUCK! Butter Spread? Like...margarine?
You're better off eating (and *spreading) REAL butter when it's soft. They've got cream cheese on the list, and ice cream...why not real butter?
The funniest thing about this is the NASCAR paper.
Umm, I don't think an extension cord will work to extend THAT!
Spider, do schizophrenic people have a variety of handwritings? Really? OhmyGod, I have several different handwritings, and I don't know why. Now I'm a little worried and paranoid.
"Voila" is a frozen dinner that is found in bags in the frozen vegetable section. It's sort of like a frozen stir-fry (though not all of them have Asian flavors) and you heat it up in a skillet.
As for the question mark--I guess they aren't sure if they want to eat that or not. They're probably like my family and will only eat the one variety that doesn't have broccoli.
Mmmm... Nothing gets my motor running like homemade chicken pot pie...
I read that as " ice cream tampons" and thought 'that sounds cold'....
I think it's a " I-hope-I-get-lucky-dinner-list."
Why buy the duct tape when an extension cord will do?
I've got different handwritings too! Now you guys have got ME worried! Maybe I'M schizophrenic!
No, that's ridiculous. I don't think I'm schizophrenic.
Wait, yes I do.
No I don't.
Yes I do.
No I REALLY don't think I am.
Uh, yeah I DO.
This is a great list to start off the week!
Ribbed condoms must be in the same section of the store as extension cords. Why not?
This sounds like one interesting porno.
If the note pad is hanging on the fridge and the person wrote items at different times that might account for the schizty handwriting.
NAPKINS are very important!!
Yes, it's an "I hope I get lucky.. but I know I'm gonna start my period, dammit!" special dinner shopping list.
Some of the wording is just weird. Washing detergent. can chicken. spread butter. These all sound strange to me. I like that Caesar is spelled correctly.
First, not all schizophrenics have multiple personality disorder and not all people with MPD are schizophrenic. Wow, that would be a tough diagnosis.
Secondly, I'm thankful that whoever had this rednecked NASCAR notepad in their house could spell Caesar correctly, although they tried to apply the ae vowel combination to the cheese listed later. IMO they cancel each other out.
If I could pick any handwriting off the list, I pick the ribbed condoms variety.
Whatever they're making, I want some of it. And whatever comes after the dinner to. ;)
This person is practical, yet sexy, she's part of a dying breed, honey. Respect her.
(da dah da dum)
"I can bring home the chicken - cook it up from a can
(da dah da dum)
"throw it in the skillet, go out & do my shopping, be back before it burns in the pan... 'cuz I'ma WO-man.. W-O-M-A-N."
that's right.
Apparently it's going to be a pot pie dinner and then some dessert! If you know what I mean!
muahaha
Nothing for nothing, I made Koolade Pie this weekend. Yummy!! How simple is that? I used the Strawberry Cool Whip and Strawberry Koolade on a Oreo Cookie Crust. Mmmmmm. Next is Pudding Pie -- Banana. I digress. Sorry.
Wow! Someone is getting freaky with the condoms and peanut butter :O
Personally I'd add barbecue chicken to the list nothing better than some good loving and chicken! Mmmmmmmm!
I guess you know what you get when you cross a rooster with peanut butter?
What do you get??? Tell US!! Pleassssssssssssse!! LOL
I don't know what it means that it only took me two seconds to figure out what you get...nah, yeah, I do, I used to know a lot of those tasteless jokes.
A sticky C**ck? And, peanut butter is not tasteless, yuck, yuck, yuck (a la three stooges).
Thai Peanut Chicken served with rice.
Why? What did you think I was going to say? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth?
Oops! It's been a while. I guess the kids are spelling it C*ck, these days. Back in my day, as crazy as I was, it was with two **.
Initially I thought that the extension cord and condoms were separate because they were non-food items (I separate my lists according to genre because I'm OCD like that, but then I realized that they probably aren't eating napkins, washing detergent, or tampons... then again, they are Nascar fans {shrug}.
Ghost, now I want some Thai peanut chicken with rice. Although, the alternative isn't too shabby either.
Voila! is a frozen meal in a bag. Toss it in a pan with a little water and Voila!, it's ready in like 10 minutes.
This Find reminds me of Freonz. Where's Freonz?
It doesn't apply to the find, but my favorite one was, what do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole...
...a cock that wants to reach out and touch someone.
what do you get when you cross a rooster with a pot of coffee?
Whoever wrote this should have put a fishing pole and bait on the list because I don't think the guy is going to get any action with the ribbed condoms and he might as well go fishing.
@ Cagey
Well back in the day there was a reason it was with two **'s now due to the pollution and additives in everything they shrunk to just one * :( how sad
LOL Nice shopping list!! And ya definately dont forget the condoms otherwise 9 months later... lol you'll end up like me ready to pop (its a boy btw im excited!!)
Anyway...
The whole chicken tampon thing reminded me of something I say a while back lol check it out http://www.aisledash.com/2007/11/20/frock-and-awe-c
Could be a list of potential sponsor ideas for a new NASCAR racing team.
"OK, let's brainstorm. What sort of products should we advertise on the car this year in order to reach out to the women in the crowd??"
let's not be: I don't know, what do you get?
UtahChick: Congratulations!
My son tends to add things like "a puppy" to the grocery list I keep on the fridge...hope one of my lists never end up here!
(DOH! I forgot the punchline!)
you get a cock that stays up all night.
Utah CHICK!! Nice to see you hanging around a bit again. congrats on your impending bundle of joy!
Thanks crumbs! :)
This find was great, but the end jokes/comments made me laugh and laugh and spit on myself.
And for my 2 cents: "Dear 8 pound 6 ounce Baby Jesus, or as our brothers to the south call you, Jésus…we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell."
(the NASCAR reminded me of Ricky Bobby)
Not all nascar fans are uncultured. I know a guy whose two greatest passions in life are nascar and wine.
well yeah... but where was this found?!
the founder doesn't say... sucha a long list like that one is hard to lose...
I think I know this guy, I'm pretty sure I went to college with him. I remember the dinner invite:
"You wanna come over tomorrow, I'm makin' my famous 'chicken' pot-pie."
"Sounds good, shall I bring anything?"
"No, I'll have EVERYTHING." (wink, wink).
I didn't realize he meant tampons as well, what a well prepared young man!
How refreshing to see condoms on a grocery list! Makes me feel better about the state of the world. +25 fuckability points.*
But yr comments get a -50 pts for tedious and uninteresting redneck jokes and/or (probably or) beliefs. If only more people ('s parents) would've remembered to get the rubbers...
*Points may not be redeemed in stores, contact vendor for more details.
I love how he decided to get ribbed condoms instead of permesan...
lmao @Ripley
I find it interesting that "ribbed condoms" is printed in that "Kountry Kousinz" dotty sort of scrapbooking lettering. Makes me think that a female added that little gem at the end. ("and dammit, baby, you'd better make sure they're ribbed for her pleasure!!")
i like how tampons is written really lightly, and CONDOMS is blantant and obvious. i could read these things all day.
I love that it says not just Condoms, but RIBBED condoms. If a girl wrote that, she's a little selfish, wouldn't you say? and the extension cord??? what are they gonna do with that? watch the race, I'm assuming.