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October 03, 2007 |
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Coppertone
FOUND by Kevin Mateo Lim
in New York City, New York
Found this tucked into a bench in Washington Square Park. I was gnashing on a dosa from the cart man, when I felt a little item on my seat.
Too bad I don't qualify.
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A Day in the Life ... July 27, 2007 |
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Tender and Sweet April 19, 2006 |
I Put a Curse January 21, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
What is a dosa?
Only two mature women, but his bronzed wood caters to many many immature women... and maybe some men.
Simply Immigrant Penis #1!!!
So I called Ebony Hard Wood Enterprises to get my floors buffed...
Suddenly I'm Pregnant #1?
Sincerely I plead?
Slip into pleasure?
or simply
suck it please?
He shoulda stuck with Ebony Hard Wood Enterprises.
Great find! But Kevin! you took it from the bench! How are the mature women or Washington Square Park and surrounding area supposed to find him now???
I think many women would be turned-off by the tuberculosis.
Is it Enterprises or Entertainment?
Hey, Clover... I didn't know either, so..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dosa
The dosai, dosa, dose, thosai, or dhosa is a South Indian crêpe. This food, high in carbohydrates and proteins, is a typical South Indian breakfast item. The dish is also quite popular in many countries outside India.
----
I'm hungry.
LA Rob: It's an enterprise that entertains. Win-win.
ebony bronzewood has watched 'heading south' one too many times.
I am lost here. Someone help me out. Turbo? Craw? Mona LIsa?
If you want you can get it from the Rastas at Washington Square Park, but most of the time their stuff isn't even weed anymore. I don't fall for that no more.
Don't you guys get a different colour in your mind when comparing bronze and ebony? What shade is this dude? I am thinking ebony might be more accurate if he's from Haiti. And why's he only looking for mature women? Gross!
What's gross, Spy? I'd like to hear the male point of view answer the obviously young Spy. Jonathan, Midlife Crisis, Sean? What do you guys think?
Is he bronze, ebony, or copper? Or all three, like a calico cat? I haven't read the comments, does anyone know what S.I.P. is ?
Coper-tone? What is the color of a verb? What is the color of coping? Too early for those questions.
I have every confidence that even though Kevin took it from the park bench, that those "mature women" will know just where to find their bronze wood men....not to worry.
The mature women probably left it there on purpose - for other women...women who might be new to the city or something....you know - sharing the fun.
Mature women are way more 'experienced' and know just what they want: no games.
However, at what age IS a woman 'mature?' I think THAT is a stronger question.
What DOES "S.I.P." mean? Could it be "Secret Identity Please ?"
Bronze. Ebony. Copper.
It's all good.
I'm am guessing it's something 'Important Person', like Simply important person maybe. Could be wrong. Just plain weird. It seems to be the wording for a personal ad in a newspaper. What's crossed out?
Gross. (Or am I jealous?) Definitely ebony. They have voodoo in Haiti. Don't go there.
Sean S., please don't call out the dogs.
Pepper: Who let the dogs out? Don't pick on Sean S. If I were a mature woman I would not want this male stripper at my party. He sounds creepy. What does tuberculosis have to do with anything anyway? Thurogood: Smoke it anyway.
Ebony Hardwood is crossed out. That's why we are all wondering about the ebony, bronze, copper thing.
I like the way women is underlined, as if maybe some mature males approached this coppertone fellow and he needed to make it more clear that he caters to mature women.
Thanks for the note and comments - I needed to laugh this a.m.!
SIP#1= Sitting In Park #1 - so you can find him! (ha! I first accidentally wrote "fine him" - that makes sense, too.)
From Wiki:
• Soft Input Panel, the main input method on Pocket PC
• Standard Interchange Protocol developed by 3M for library management
• System Information Processor A tool used to gather computer system information
• Systematic Investment Plan, an investment strategy.
• Sterilization In Place - a process using one or more components of food/drug processing equipment to determine "kill" levels of microrganisms.
• Simferopol International Airport (IATA: SIP), an airport in Simferopol, Ukraine.
• Scottish Independence Party
• Structural Insulated Panel, a composite building material
• Shelter Implementation Plan for dealing with the remains of the Chernobyl disaster
• Statistically Improbable Phrases
• Strangers in Paradise, an award-winning comic book
C'mon people! He's a businessman. He's not sexually attracted to mature women, he's looking for women with money. Young women will expect him to want to 'entertain' him for free (and to pay for their meal).
oooo - what is a Statistically Improbable Phrase? That sounds so intriguing!
what is gnashing? The same as chomping or chewing? I have to use this word more often.
Are you sure Mr. Coper-tone isn't a
Strangely Intoxicated Proselytizer?
QT: laughed out loud at your calico cat comment. i hope the tanning bed comment is only a play on the find!
tiny: which of those on the list do you think are the likeliest candidates? i'd vote "strangers in paradise"...
I think it's the rough draft for an advertisement for the 'agency' ...and obviously, it had too many revisions and was trashed.
Could "S.I.P." be "Specialized Identity Protection Number?" That sounds logical, as I suppose all of this was done with pseudo-names and private numbers.
Well, clearly this man is terminal!
The initials at the bottom: TB.
TB = tuberculosis
and SIP? "So, I'm pneumoniatic."
That's his opening line. He follows it up by saying he's not sure whether he's dying of tuberculosis or pneumonia - all he knows is that he's dying.
So sad!
So sad, that is, until you realize that he is a con artist. A -tan- con artist. He's playing up the tan because he knows that it's sexy and women will feel worse for him if they think he's a looker.
LOL! I love it!
I read it as "catering only TO TWO Mature Women...!!!!"
Because, you know - in a threesome,you don't want more than 2 mature women - they are way too oversexed and it will wear you out and get a bit rough. Unless, that's your thing....then go for 3 or 4 mature women....LOL
Great find!!!
Bronze WOOD....is way better than....well just Bronze and NO "WOOD" if you know what I mean.
I thought it was a catering company, serving Haitian food for red hat parties.
Wow...
SIP - Structured Intervention Program, the name of one of the wards in the hospital i work in. The program consists of two wards. So, he's a patient on the first one.
He has a crisis of self identification, doesn't know if he's bronze, copper or ebony.
i'm so confused. I want to call this bronze god from haiti.
Your all crazy, this is just a invitation for 2 old women to go have sex with a lonely man from Haiti, who had come to New York and didn't get as much ass has he had been hoping for. The S.I.P. stands for Shelter Implementation Plan which is a goverment funded project where housing is provided for those who apply. His "house" number must be #1.
Hey Paul
in response to tiny's post- i love strangers in paradise!!
I wish I lived somewhere that you can get dosa off of a cart. Yum.
(though, where would a tawa fit on a cart? confusing.)
Stars In Porn
Or
Slightly Ingenious Penis
Or
Serious Inquiries Please
ya know the market hates a vacuum
see a need? fill it. (so to speak)
I actually thought that the word "women" was crossed out, and not underlined... That made the note way more interesting..."
still in progress, #1 indicating that it's a first draft. I get that he's trying to be discreet about his true purpose, but, seriously, I can't tell if he's proposing to install flooring or cook barbeque. I think he needs to cut 'wood' from his title altogether. And lest you let his feminine handwriting misguide you, HE'S NOT GAY! It says so clearly right there because he underlined women. Unless his gay lover would get jealous if he entertained other males.
And while we're on the topic of classified ads, don't you hate when people start their ads with AAAAA or #1 just to get their ad listed first in alphabetical order? Those are the people I would make a point not to call. They were the kids in grade school waving their raised hands or cutting in line screaming, 'Me first! Me first!'
I wonder if this was to be published in the personals? Could S.I.P be a newspaper or something?
Why "mature women" is that a) they have more money b) they probably aren't looking for a relationship, just casual sex. Coppertone male here is a gigolo, fellas. There's a myth that mature women will dissolve in gratitude to any young stud who takes the time, and will shower him with expensive gifts. This is an urban myth. Women of a certain age require quality, not conceit. They've been around the block before, they want value for money.
I take it TB are the guy's initials or his contact ID with the agency he is mocking up the ad for. One of those online things, or a dateline.
Personally, I agree with my old mother's dictum: you don't know where it's been! I certainly could never pay for sex. And I'd starve before I'd sell it.
BTW I have known some Hatians, they come all shades. Ebony may have sounded "cooler" at first try (and it is a hardwood) but bronze may have been nearer the mark.
Jimmy - TB = Tuberculosis
I like "Strangely Intoxicated Proselytizer" best! But I think that you're right Sand.
This dude has anynumber of issues. mature doesn't necessarilt mean older though. Perhaps he is just sensitive and doesn't want to be laughed at.
Ghashing=noshing
New Yorkers say this instead of eating or snacking.
I'd like to see what his business' logo's going to be...
"Dosa man is New York's street food champ"
Thiru 'The Dosa Man' Kumar, whose vegan cart is a big hit with New York University professors and students, has won the Vendy Award, given to New York's top street chef vendor.
Read more here!
http://www.rediff.com/news/2007/oct/02dosa.htm
NEW! Coper-Tone® Lotion,
Relieves the stress of potential skin cancer while giving you a lovely tan!
I feel creepy and weird. I Googled our finder and found a picture of him waiting at Google HQ.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f
Hi Kevin! Thanks for not wearing flip-flops!
I actually like "Sterilization In Place" best. I'm not sure how it may apply to TB, but, it can't hurt to be germ-free.
mature women don't need his kind of wood...they have their own in the top dresser drawer...
latex is the way to go, unless you have allergies.
He has a very strange, obsessive, perfectionist way of crossing out words.
mo: According to Turbo here, you'd have to go to San Francisco to get the really good ones.
Sean, I think that's what the internet is for. Any mature woman can purchase a fun time over the internet - given $4.94 shipping plus handling and 7-10 days for delivery.
God bless you, internet, and all the services you supply! (Maybe the guy from yesterday was praising the internet! Multimedia truly is the new religion!)
Stand-In Penis #1
Sex In Park
Note the inverted felons claw. Creepy.
Hi, everyone! I just got back home on Monday after brain surgery. I’m not digging for sympathy or anything, because this is actually a good thing, I just thought I’d let you know where I’ve been, since I do enjoy most of your company, and since I think it’s kind of a cool reason for my absence.
I don’t think I would have been commenting too much this past week anyway, as a lot of the recent finds haven’t really inspired me. I do like yesterday’s introspective sixth-grader though, and the “No Farting” note is pretty cool as well. And Mona, regarding your comment on that one: My good friend and mentor, Jim Martin, imparted the wisdom to me years ago that “girls don’t fart, they explode at fifty.” With that knowledge at your disposal, I’d recommend you lay off the Beano, girl.
That's the coolest excuse for gender re-assignment surgery EVER!
Good to see you again, Flargy. Does it still burn when you pee?
Ans Sean in Rockville, I don't know if San Fran really has "the really good ones", but maybe the most tested by one-armed lesbians.
We had a gym teacher named T.B. He said stuff like "let's tackle the weight machine" and "park your posteriors on the stage" or "nice pecs" (to a girl whilst doing a bench press). He's retired now. His wife took a new job. Very busy. So. We think maybe he's lonely and on an excursion to New York City. You know, to see if everything "still in place".
good to see you back, Flargy. Good advice, re: Beano. I'm starting to cut back now.
Hope the brain transplant went well.
This note was found by a lonely mature woman who took it with her and then when she got to the park bench she decided she wasn't quite that lonely and mature.
No painful peeing, Turbo, but I do have an incredibly sore back thanks to nine straight hours on a non-ergonomically-friendly operating table, then another three and a half days in a shitty hospital bed.
Mona, it did go well, except that they accidentally gave me the brain of a retarded baboon, and now I can't stop running around telling all my friends that I'm the president of this here nation. I do get to hear some pretty neat telephone conversations, though.
Very glad to have you back, Flargy. Hope your recuperation goes swiftly and well.
Sean S. - Good Vibrations is online, so there's no need to travel. They just happen to be based in San Francisco.
Satisfaction Is Paramount! #1
Satisfaction Is Perfected! #1
Secrecy is preferred
Secure internet payments
submissive in partnership
At least it doesn't say "OAC"!
turbo is right, altho good vibrations is available online, so one doesn't have to go all the way to sf to play with the best...
He-he, when I checked todays find, there had been "69" comments. How appropriate.
Satisfaction Is Priority #1
We missed you, Flarge. Welcome back!
8-)
gnashing is more like grinding your teeth not a misspelling of noshing
First off, Turbo your flip-flop comment sent my coffee flying. I hope Kevin reads these comments.
Second, Flargy nice to have you back, and congrats on the new baboon brain. You would've broken some hearts had you not returned.
But, like Frank liked to say, broken hearts are for assholes :)
Who's Frank?
(Frank from Flargy's "Flargy, thankfully not in that Frank Zappa song said:" post)
Welcome back Flargy! Don't work too hard. It's nice to see that the surgery didn't affect your humor :) Rest up - you have a big life ahead of you.
Googling the finder's name--now THAT'S creepy!
Thanks Chrome Toaster, for looking it up for me (or us, if i'm not the only one under educated in world cuisine) Flargy, I'm glad you're back. Brain surgery -- that's amazing! I've been away too, but my excuse isn't nearly as cool as yours. Sand, I agree with your comment about AAAAAA. I hate it when people take cuts. So pushy.
Baby basil, it ain't no myth -- Jamaica is the place (apparently). Some of those guys now have sugar mommies in the UK paying for their college edukashun.
SIP = 'Secure Internet Payments' maybe. Now I have to ask -- what does OAC stand for?? I don't think I even want to guess.
Welcome back, Flargy!! Missed you. Take it easy now. You wanna nice back rub? Maybe with some of this copper-tone lotion?? And, er... (oh, 'balsa softwood' doesnt have the right kind of ring to it)... heh heh ;-)
Jonathan, as far as I know, OAC= "on approved credit"
(easy payment terms, no payments until 2010)
Read the card again, Jonathan, it distinctly says "Haiti."
*Mature* older women don't pay for sex. You can't be young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.
Hi basil, don't know nuthin' about Haiti (although if I am not mistaken it's not an island, only half of one, with the Dominican Republic on the other half?)... I was referring to your statement "There's a myth that mature women will dissolve in gratitude to any young stud who takes the time, and will shower him with expensive gifts. This is an urban myth" -- taking 'mature' literally to mean 'of a certain age'. I agree these lonely UK ladies aren't 'mature' in your definition, but it seems to make them happy as well as satisfied, so who's to judge? (I watched a TV documentary about the phenomenon...) Perhaps Mr TB knew some Jamaican studs who gave him the idea.
And who's to say 'mature' women can't decide to pay for whatever they want? Mustn't be judgenmental now, must we??
(How disappointing about OAC -- thought it was going to be something unmentionable...)
S. ix I. nch P. enis
Although, if that's the case I'm not sure why he's flaunting that fact.
Maybe it's S. ixty! That would be something to brag about.
Session Initiation Protocol (hmm?)
Sales Incentive Plan (aha!)
Swirl Injection Principle (ooh!)
Sickness Impact Profile (urgh)
Scanner Interface Processor (yawn...)
Single In-line Package (oohh!!)
Salmonella Invasion Protein (aargh!)
Oklahoma Administrative Code (Jo? You there?)
Ontario Appeal Cases (Mona? Appealing as ever?)
Oral Anti-Coagulant (weurgh!)
OAc = CH. 3. CO. 2. 2 (no, I don’t know either)
Objective Assignment Chart (oh, Mr Bronze’s diary)
Open-Air Cage (uh uh, not a good idea in the Park)
Oceanic Area Control (so we’re on the beach now?)
Operator Access Console (oh yes, those buttons undo...)
Optimal Alignment Combination (oooh, mm’hmmm... yes, there, babe)
Omeprazol, Amoxicillin and Clarithromycin (ouch! Yes, need those the morning after)
Jonathan, not that I'm interested for myself, mind you, but do you suppose that there are "mature men" in England who would be interested in providing me, I mean, providing my friend with a similar scholarship arrangement? I have an insatiable appetite for learning, and I never fall asleep at the opera. Heavens, I get wet watching Wozzeck. No ice Berg me!
Me, I'll do anything for money, AV... And I can keep going through the whole six and half hours of Gotterdammerung!! I'll fit you, I mean your friend (well, both if you like) in to my diary, I mean Objective Assignment Chart.
Oh I see, you want ME to give YOU money... oops.
Just remembered that S I P stands for Side Impact Protection (ouch) -- it's what Volvos have.
(I don't think the Side Impact Protection was invented for Ancient Vivi's Vulvo. However, I overheard her schedule a lube job for her Optimal Alignment Combination on Saturday.)
Mame in Chicago: That Sixty Inch Penis is not something to brag about but rather it is something you drag about.
Jan, it belongs to a whale and you make a poncho out of it (see Moby Dick) -- preferably not while the whale is still using it. Bit smelly though.