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December 18, 2007 |
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Could Ya Pick Up Some Ammo, Darlin?
FOUND by Ben Whitlock
in Winchester, Virginia
A shopping list left behind in my basket last Saturday by some thoughtful citizen. Yep. They listed "bullets" on there-- and even specified that said ammo be purchased at Wal-Mart. Yep. I live in the South. Sounds like good times were in store. Sippin' on some refreshing tea with luxuriously brushed hair, firing off a few rounds, and maybe taking some pics for posterity, too.
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Read All About... May 28, 2007 |
I Hate Myself March 26, 2007 |
Ceiling Treasure January 15, 2007 |
Bad Frog August 02, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
» We're hopping on a plane and jetting to Europe for our Fall 2008 Euro Tour!
» Join Peter Rothbart for his mini-tour of the Pacific Northwest
Sounds like a mighty tame weekend at deer camp with some hunting buddies a guy met at the AA meeting. Shootin's okay but shots are not.
Yee-haw! At least we know their mullets are well-maintained. And can't you find all that stuff at Walmart? Not that I would know. :)
Spam question: what is 4 times four? I hate that.
Love the title, too. Evokes some funny visuals.
I wonder what function the "quotation mark" between ice and tea serves.
good thing they picked up a camera. wouldn't want to kill things without a nice portrait of the crime scene (or a tasty beverage).
mmm sweet tea.
i grew up in Georgia ... this looks sadly familiar - the handwriting even looks a little like my sister's. the good news is they are limiting their walmart purchases. i hope it is an effort to spend less there and more at the piggly wiggly.
Becky, your comment immediately brought to mind the Find.. Anti Fourth of July... [http://foundmagazine.com/find/1524]
(why can't my mind just let that one diiiiie?!)
mmm, yeah. Gonna brush my hair, put on my new green belt, sip on an iced tea and shoot some deer. Then take a picture.
lil ol' me: YIKES! i nearly broke out my purell just looking at that picture. apart from being cruel to the poor deer, just think of the communicable diseases you could get by sitting on a dead deer carcass while wearing short shorts. eww!
Camera and brush are now groceries.. mmm....
Yes I would like a single lens reflex 35mm for breakfast please. Annnd for lunch I'll just grab a quick brush.
Thanks.
Clearly, someone has found the shopping list of the spooky androgyne in this find: http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/2188.
Brush for hideous Partridge Family hair? Check. Bullets for gun? Check. Camera to take a frighfully earnest and unintentionally chilling photograph for someone to find and post on website years later? Check.
We live in exciting times, don't we? Half a dead sheep or a rotting shark are ART (they're put in the Tate Modern and win the prize, it must be so)and you need perfect hair to go hunting!
A Walmart camera--I shudder to think. Surely the disposable kind. Let's hope they dispose of the pictures of the poor dead deer. Or are they just planning a new Tate Modern installation?
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=use
Bass, baby. And I freakin' LOVE those pants! Ben, if that's you, you...Rock.
Yeah, what is Ice Inches Tea anyway?
Wal Mart; Wal Mart. What is this Wal Mart of which you speak? I shall seek one out. It appears to me as if some Mecca to which I should pilgrimage, no?
see, this is why i like being canadian. we don't put bullets on our shopping lists.
Ben, that's a clever way to promote your band. And please give my grandpa back his pants.
Is it necessarily bad that someone puts bullets on their shopping list? I mean, yeah, it's definitely redneck, but is that a bad thing? I used to go target shooting with my pokey little .22, and I'd need to pick up bullets somewhere...
@Raven: Wish I was that clever... that is me, though.
Let it be said that I've had some dandy times that involved squeezing off ammo at (non-living) targets, but it still cracks me up mightily to see bullets on a shopping list.
Yeah, I thought this might have been left behind by the panty crickets couple too.
What? No Budweiser on the list?
I like you being Canadian too, Mona.
That's one of the perks of being in a band. You can wear your jammies to work! :) You have cute friends too.
Just an FYI for those interested - The bullets the writer is describing are for a blackpowder rifle, otherwise known as a muzzleloader....probably doing some shopping leading up to deer hunting season.
245 grain green belts are used for only one thing... copper jacketed, hollow point, people killin bullets... the kind that make a tiny hole going in and a hole the size of a grapefruit coming out, breaking bones along the way...
theory on quotation mark: this person's way of saying 'ice, and ice tea.' like copying the 'ice' twice.
I naturally read it as "iced f#@!in tea" - guess that says something about me.
There was a short-lived diner near me whose name, in big, fun letters on the sign, was "%$#in Earl's"! I am sorry I never went!
Hmm..brush under "groceries"....maybe s/he means brush as in vegetation....maybe this writer IS a deer, and he'll eat the brush, lure thirsty hunters with the ice"tea an coke, and shoot 'em himself ala The Far Side cartoons then take pictures to brag about it to his deer friends.
Oh lord... I live in Pennsyltucky, and this could be the shopping list of any of the women I work with. They do "bonding" weekends during hunting season where they all troop out into the forest wearing bright pink hats,shoot things, and then take pictures. I love it when they go over their lists. It’s like a bunch of Grannies getting ready for a sleepover in hell. "Hairbrush?" "Check." "Hugh Grant movies?" "Check." "Shortie pajamas?" "Check." "Ammo?" "Check."
They invited me along once, but a vegetarian Buddhist is a bad thing to have on a hunting trip. We mess up the mojo.
Okay, I may be incrediably wrong here, but when I read this list I thought of a back yard barbeque. Drinks, a disposable camera, a grill brush, and bullets for clay pigeon target shooting...
thanks, chug in... i like you being..whatever it is that you are.
Whiskey, you're so cute.
withnail..pennsyltucky..thats cute. and is there any other kind of buddhist besides a vegetarian one?
Ben, I think you're clever and cute! (Inspite of the grandpa pants.)
When your band makes it big will you remember all of us little people at Found?
BTW--isn't it funny about all this gun talk and you're from Winchester?
this is amazing. what a barren grocery list.
but i don't see where deer comes in? couldn't the shopper be hunting anything, or nothing?
and what does that quotation mark between ice and tea mean?
and mona - i like being canadian too.
JR thanks for the ammo description. 245 grain? Is that common for hand guns? I have used 185 30-06 for elk, and it's enough at 100 yds anyway. What caliber are we talking about here? I don't know much about guns and ammo, but if JR has it right it doesn't sound like hunting. So what's the superscript ER all about?
Likewise, thanks Patricia for at least a theory on the quotes. That does bother me. What sort of unstable person would load up on ice " tea ?
That reminds me of that one episode of King of the Hill...
"Where's your children's gun section?"
Ooohh Winchester reminds me of the Winchester Mystery House. I love that place!
Marie,
I thought the same, only in my head it was
Ice "mutha f%#kin" Tea, and you could add bitch! at the end.
This was Unworthy's shopping list the day Bjork came to town.
cuz 1531 is a picture of people on a beach
Man behind the curtain. Encourage them to shop the Pig. I need my paycheck every week! :)
I don't find this list odd, just they way things are listed. Brush and camera as grocery items?
Mona: One would think not, but I guess it depends on your definition of vegetarian. I have some friends who are Buddhist but eat chicken and fish. They say they are vegetarian. (I'm lacto-ovo myself, and my parents are vegan.)
I thought Canadians owned more guns than Americans.
Awesome!! They found Gun Dad's shopping list!! "Now before we take pictures of our Gun Boy, you need to go to the store Gun Mama, I made a list....." Sounds like a list my family would have, I have some rednecks in my family lol :)
Withnail, I have a buddhist veg friend who eats meat every once in a while. We were out once and she order beef and I asked why she didn't order chicken and she said "Have you ever seen a chicken in the barnyard? They are nervous, if you eat chicken it will make you nervous." I said "Have you ever seen a cow in the pasture? They are lazy."
A quick shopping list made by Awkward Kids, Posing Weirdly, Holding Things That Are Slightly Unsettling? That's what the camera is for.
Sue Bee: Hahaha! Cows are lazy… Unless you come between them and their food. If that happens, it's no holds barred on the part of the cow.
Ok, so what is ice " tea?
Sounds like this person has one kinky weekend planned: Guns, cameras, coke, and some ice tea. Damn, they sure know how to throw a party in Virginia!
Meet lynn and Catherine, 2 normals housewifes, early 40, living the little sub-urban life.... but one day ... Lynn get back home and BOOM! find her husband cheating with the little girl working at the local little corner store.
Catherine is categoric, we need to find that girl and make her pay... lets scare her...
So they write a little list, packing up ropes and gun for a spectaculars kidnapping set up.
They swap the clerk ice tea bottle with the one they have "specially prepared, full of sleeping drugs, then take the girl in the back of the trunk, tie her up, put a gun next to her and for a dramatic effect, put bullet on the floor... and take polaroid and send them to Lynn's husband, waiting for answer while drinking coke and doing their hair (not gonna waste the time that bastard will take for answering them no? she need to get pretty again to find a new hubby!)
What? you dont like my story? >.>
Pepper, I think you are true...
I checked and canadians own more guns... but i think the thing is that USA is famous to use it for using it on others people, while people considerate canaidians like some kind of hunting lumberjacks weirdo living in wooden house and eating caribou.
(BTW its all stereotype and inst true, dont go mad and start shouting at me, im just stating commun stereotype)
That do look like a nice grocery shopping list.
Yeah, I can totally see the hunting week end coming along. And its not because you buy ammo that it have to be linked with the rest of your shopping list...
And for all those against "hunting/fishing/eating meat" well good for you. I'm not, and i considere hunting like a great thing. Actually, i made sure kids go hunting as soon they are old engouh for it ... why? no, not to traumatise them... but to make them realise you HAVE TO KILL something in order to eat meal. It really give them a respect for meat, and they feel bad to waste it later, because they made the connection between the life you have to take in order to be able to eat meat.
withnail-
my grandmother was a buddhist, and she ate all kinds of meat. i think it comes down to personal preference, because while buddhists are against the harming of living things, the buddha did eat meat. just my offering on the situation.
what is "ice tea" anyway, even without the quotes? i have heard of "iced tea" but never "ice tea." is that a hick thing?
hm, well, if "chamomile tea" is tea made from adding hot water to chamomile, then "ice tea" must be tea made from adding hot water to ice. it doesn't sound very good to me.
actually, what we tend to call "chamomile tea" is really a tisane or an infusion. true tea must be made from the leaves of the camellia senensis plant. maybe "ice tea" is a variety of the camellia senesis i have never heard of. it sounds pretty! maybe it is a very pale blue color!
like, i know - i was thinking the same thing! hibiscus tea is tea (or yes, giggles, a tisane more properly, but come on, let's not be so stuffy) made when hot water is added to dried hibiscus flowers. so ice tea must be tea made when hot water is added to dried ice?
On the ice " tea ... What respectable Southern doesn't just make it him/herself? For shame.
I can't decide if a woman or a man wrote this yet.
Looks like wifey wrote it while hubby dictated.
And they didn't forget the Budweiser... They have coke! Party time!
Camera, eh? I guess I'm the only one who read that as 'Gamera.'
You mean it's not Ice Tea? It's Iced Tea? Hmmm well then I've been saying it wrong for a good 20 years lol jk :)
After some consideration, I'm going to guess that the quotation marks are supposed to represent 'for' as in ice [for] tea.
lily, thanks for looking up those stats. I think that i was perpetuating a stereotype, too, with what i wrote. There are many canadians that kill each other with guns. too many.
'sup, Matt... "canadians unite"..woot woot
withnail - buddhists don't kill living things, right? I don't know the buddhist definition of what a living thing is. When does life start... I'm way off topic here.
@ did you mean: Nope, I'm sure the archivist meant what the archivist said. Scroll down to comment at 1:58.
Devil in the details: I've had Gamera on my mind for a few days due to a recent "Find" .. thanks for the laugh! (and it kinda *does* look like Gamera.)
Thats where I buy my bullets... Wall-mart.
Mona, how were you perpetuating a stereotype with what wrote, that canadians or stupid or just you?
I don't know about the rest of you, but
I always buy my bullets at Walmart.
oh pepper.. you kid because you love, i know that...
To answer your question, I was perpetuating the stereotype that americans are more likely to put ammo on a shopping list.
somone should tell whoever wrote this lis that they can but a brush, coke, ice tea, and a camera at Wal-mart too.
Thanks Toaster. I was being impatient. I should learn to dig deeper. I wonder if that was SALT or unworthy (RIP) posting at the archivist.
i think ice " tea just means to repeat the ice.. because they need ice and ice tea. they just wrote it horizontally instead of listing tea below
ice
" tea
coke
thats better
i think the heavens above everyday that i can buy tea, a brush and bullets all at the same place. sure saves time!
Josh whispers to himself as he bumps down the A & P aisle, "Bullets are different. Bullets are different. Bullets are different." He smiles as he walks between the phalanxes of chip bags and plastic pop bottles. "You have to get them separately. Separate. Separate." "Don't confuse food with ammunition. Don't confuse. Don't confuse." The clerk smiles too as Josh tumbles the bottles onto the turntable. Then hunts for and finds the disposable cameras. 400 ASA. And, lucky boy, the impulse purchase racks include Itech combs. "A comb will be good enough," he says. "Wha ...," says the clerk, looking up. "Oh," she says, and finishes with the bottles and the scanner. Josh turns and smiles. Her eyes. He places the comb in its cardboard harness on the checkout, beside the camera, and looks up again. "Nice eyes," he says and keeps looking. She ducks her head to pick up the camera and comb. "Yours too," she says. "What's the fastest way to Walmart?" he says. "Wha ...?" she says. "Oh," she says.
In Walmart there are so many different kinds of bullets. Even for the 245. But he follows the list. "And I need a greenbelt," he says. "It's easier," he says. "Easier to carry'em that way. Easier that way." "What?!" says the clerk. "Oh," says Josh. "Sorry. Sorry." He looks down at the two packages of slugs in his right hand. "Greenbelt," he says. "For the 245s. I need a greenbelt for these. It's just easier to follow the note. The list," he says, digging for it in his other pocket. "See?" he says. "Whatever, man," says the clerk. "Those are for a muzzle-loader, eh?" "Yeah," says Josh. "A muzzle-loader." "Goin old-school, eh?" he says. "Yeah," says Josh, "but Daddy says that the deers can't tell one way or t'other. They just hear the bang maybe, and then that's all. Then it's quiet." Josh nods his head and looks up at the clerk. "I guess that's right," he says to Josh, smiling. "I guess that's how it is."
shooters.... you're either very creative, or very creepy... not sure which.
4 times four...... annoys the heck out of me.
i still wonder what the hell "ice tea" is. it seems like it would just be water - hot water added to ice ... makes water.
Hmm, what is it called when people put the quotie things under something in a previous line above it- dittos?
Ice Groceries Tea?
Really though, I've got nothing.
Ice " Baby
I guess Wal-Mart IS the best place to get school supplies.....
is the shooters in the hall Joshie washie?
Turbo, that is so so so wrong.
It is kind of morbid, but I honestly giggled at Turbo's comment... I sorry :(
I categorize my lists by which store too!
Helps to efficiently cross stuff off w/o driving around in circles, forgetting stuff, and having to go back out.
people do really know what ice(d) tea is, right? you guys are just all trying to be funny, right?
I always order "ice tea." If you say it fast, you can't really tell the difference. And I really don't know why you'd go to two different stores for what you can get at one...
Shooters - I generally think you're right on with your comments, but I gotta say, this one creeped me out some. Glad I'm not going to be "in the hall" for two weeks! Happy Holidays, everyone!
Shooters, Shooters! Tell us another and then I promise I'll go right to sleep!
it just kills me - the fascism that is wal-mart. guns and ammo are perfectly fine for purchase, but heavens to betsy! if you buy a CD w/ explicit language they sensor the shit out of it.
neverthelesshenceforthwith you can buy the gun and ammo to shoot a cop, per se, but can't listen to someone verbally expressing how much they want to pop a cap in his a$$.
what ever happened to SALT? I haven't perused this site much lately, but it seems like SALT has disappeared . . .
i think SALT is bored with our immature shenanigans, and has moved on.
i know what iced tea is, just not ice tea.
Sure, but what kind of brush?