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November 15, 2008 |
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A Great Tornado
FOUND by Cynthia
in Amherst, Massachusetts
Found on my way to class at UMass Amherst.
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Apocalypse Suburbia May 07, 2007 |
Girl Lazer November 06, 2005 |
Ducks Very Limited December 15, 2007 |
Yeewww! February 25, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Dude, where's my clothes?
This note just blows me away!
F-5, dude. The tornado was righteous!
This exact thing happened to me once.
Not the tornado, but the creative-yet-lame excuse for not coming with me to a party. And I had already collected my iPod, drinks, phone, mallet, and keys. I didn't get to use my mallet that night and I was bummed.
If I had a mallet,
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening,
All over this campus...
I'd hammer out Ipods,
I'd hammer out drinks for all!
I'd hammer out keys and phones and F-5 tornadoes,
All over this campus...ooh ooh oooh hooo...
Isn't an F-5 like the absolute max, defined in "Twister" as "the finger of God"? I'm surprised they found their clothes at all. Do they have clotheslines at UMass?
I think the most interesting thing about this find is that the writer (and the handwriting looks like a lady's) uses a fountain pen to write the word "dude". How anachronistic!
@ BABY BASIL- Ahahahahaha!!! I love that song, always sang that in Music class! Until the Tornado came....
Uh, Wallet, not Mallet, right?
Sorry to be a spoilsport.
@ Farmer: I'm pretty sure it's mallet. They were planning on playing some serious Whack-A-Mole down at Chuck E. Cheese, but the tornado spoiled their plans.
I like to think of myself as an F-5 dude.
...things to do and get back from my
(ex)girlfriend who claims that when I walked in and found her with 3 guys that they had been in a tornado and lost there clothes:
My IPOD
I need to have drinks
Phone her and dump her
Get back my room and car keys
Get a mallet and smash...
...Oooo sweetness I was only joking when I said...
Interesting statistics on Tornados in Massachusetts...
http://www.disastercenter.com/mass/tornado.htm
"While some may dismiss this data as a statistical anomaly, on a per mile basis Massachusetts ranks number 14 for frequency per square mile. This means that on a per square mile basis that Massachusetts experiences more tornadoes than such states as Arkansas, South Dakota, and Wisconsin."
Well, this goes a long way toward explaining all those naked people walking along the highway picking up clothing.
What it doesn't explain, though, is how in the world Bryce slept through the whole F-5 tornado and yet was coherent enough the next morning to read and interpret this note. Must have been a righteous party.
Oh, unless the gal writing the note was just hoping her drunken frat boy Bryce would take the tornado as an explanation for his naked girl's pictures showing up on Facebook without him in them. ("Bryce, dude, our clothes were blown down the road. We couldn't help it!")
Oldest excuse in the book! The "tornado" made me do it. The great and powerful tornado blew off my underclothes and whirled me right into his arms for 10 unforgettable minutes of passion. Too bad Bryce didn't buy it, now our poor damsel needs to get back her phone, ipod, keys and of course her priceless assortment of specialty teas.
bryce,
because i am too insensitive and self-absorbed to realize that it's actually nicer and less painful if i just tell you, 'no' when you ask me out, i am going to write you this semi-funny-lame-excuse note about why i didn't go out with you. and to make sure that you do actually get the point that i don't want to go out with you, i'm going to include my getting-ready-to-go-out list on the note. hey, at least i didn't say i had to wash my hair.
love,
typhynni
ps. sorry that typing this didn't allow me to heart the 'i' in my name.
pps the heart wouldn't mean that i wanted to go out with you.
It's probably wallet, but more fun to imagine it as mallet.
But yet the ipod and mallet is intact and in hand, whislt the clothes are ten minutes down the road. (even though they were 10 mins down the road, it STILL took them all night to find them.)
a nudists exucuse for exposure?
I wonder if the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion helped her find her clothes?
I bet those pesky flying monkeys were no help at all! They never are.
Sidenote: If I had a pet monkey, I would name it Spank. Spank the Monkey.
I might name mine Shock. Shock the Monkey. (watch the monkey get hurt. monkey.)
bryce is a unisex name.
the handwriting looks feminine.
in my experience, girls only call other girls "dude."
therefore, i conclude that the female note-writer is writing to a female friend, perhaps a room mate. maybe she borrowed clothes from bryce and is returning them with this note.
whatever the story is behind it, i love it. =)
Never in all my years have I heard of a female named Bryce (or Brice). But I have heard many, many chicks use "dude" to refer to.. a dude.
hahaha...i've been in an F-5 tornado, and we had a hard enough time finding the car...I can't imagine they actually found their clothes...but hey, maybe they were REALLY diligent...
In my experience, bouncy giggly girly students often use the word "Duuuude!" as an exclamation of surprise, so whether or not Bryce is a male, the writer might say it in that context.
An F-5 tornado would generate surprise in man or woman, I expect. That's why Wombles live underground--less turbulence.
"Underground, that's the place to be. When you're underground, nothing can get at you."
...looks like the tornado got to all the post it notes too
I just really love the fact that the same person would use great as an adjective and the word dude.
I sure hope they found their clothes and not running around naked.