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November 17, 2008 |
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Safe Sex
FOUND by Saskia
in Melbourne, Australia
I found this one and I'm VERY pleased to make my first submission to Found!!
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It's Not Trigonometry August 17, 2005 |
I Will Strap it To... August 17, 2003 |
It Makes Me Mad September 22, 2002 |
Defeat June 10, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I love the cherries (??) by her signature. Classy.
Is it safe to assume that the cherries indicate virginity? Therefore safe sex would be sex with a virgin?
Is it signed Leah? Because at first glance I thought it said dad.
Talk about blast from the past...I bet anything you like that both Leah and B. are college-age virgins embarking on their first serious relationship. B. is pushing Leah to have sex, and Leah is down with that (pun intended) but she is already staking her permanent claim to B's bits and pieces. She's probably the sort of girl who, in my grandmother's phrase, "went to college to get her MRS degree." I could be wrong, but the last line "the safest sex is always going to be with me!" is a covert way of asserting her "right" to an exclusive relationship with B. Very covert manipulation. Does this bode well for a happy marriage after graduation? One has one's doubts.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm......................cherry
Does it say '93 at the top? I wonder where they are now.
This appears to be an inscription in a book. Was the book found? Was the page torn from the book?
@Terrie, I was just hoping it wasn't signed "Love, Mom"
*shudder*
I love the way the capital D is written. The capital B is almost as good, but the rest is unimpressive. Strange that someone could make such a sweet 'D' but the rest is average. Even the capital L in Leah is average.
(my penmanship is below average)
Dear L ♫ ,
I'm ever so sorry but sex with you is quite dull. I'm tired of covering you in plastic wrap before sex, and the cycling helmet you wear makes it very hard to kiss you. Plus all the constant referring to the book and reading quotes out loud for guidance is very annoying. The bed rails you require to be put up so neither of us fall out of bed is a bit much. For me the final straw is requiring that we both bathe with Lava soap afterwards. It's all just too safe for me.
Best wishes on your future sexual endeavors...
B♂
this one made me laugh. and the comments did too. i'm looking at you, terrie!
Saskia was Rembrandt's wife's name. I always wanted to name one of my children Saskia, but i was talked out of it. I regret that now.
Just like Grumpy says, I am very curious about the book! Saskia, you've got to tell us these things.
The illustrated Kama Sutra.
cool. b and leah have graduated from dry humping to manual stimulation over under- garments. keep going kids. a few more eras and you'll get to the fun, unsafe sex.
the best selling book of 1993 was harry potter and the sorcerer's stone. that info potentially does crazy and somewhat disturbing things things to this note.
@Hiplainsdrifter--Cycling helmet, plastic wrap and bed rails makes for a hilarious mental picture!! HAH!
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone wasn't published 'til 1998, although it did stimulate and excite me. All those wands!
(Philosopher's Stone was published in '97)
the only thing we knew about harry potter was that his name wasn't harry potter.
Um, yeah, Leah, actually the SAFEST sex B can ever have is with himself. Alone. Locked in his bedroom.
Still, I hope things worked out for you two.
i must have had too much to drink at uno's party before i looked up the best-seller list. thanks for the corrections.
it disturbs me to think that she's perfectly fine with b getting unsafe hooha elsewhere and she gets the leftovers.
I am VERY curious as to the book that would stimulate and excite B.
p.s. I thought the new era of safe sex was done over the internet, with web cams.
I think it's cool that Leah bought B. a sexy book as a surprise gift after his vasectomy.
@babs:
my first thought was 'vasectomy' too. But if 'the safest sex is always going to be with her' then perhaps Leah has had her tubes tied?
@mona:
conductor Bernard Haitink's wife (or one of them) was called Saskia too which I thought very Dutch and romantic.
I wonder if there are lots of Saskias in Holland? (or Australia, come to that?)
Sammy: That's what everyone says right before they find themselves on YouTube.
That line "..but remember, the safest sex is always going to be with me.." (cherries.)
does seem possessive, stalkerish and veiled threatish. (like he's going to find the rabbit boiling on the stovetop in the stock pot in the not too distant future.)
And the cherry thing.. well, he'll believe that.. until he learns otherwise from his best friend, the football team, the wrestling team... and his Dad.
Kwancee - I know where you came up with Harry Potter - a google search renders this phrase "When USA TODAY's Best-Selling Books list appeared for the first time on Oct. 28, 1993, Harry Potter existed only in the imagination of J.K. Rowling" - But according to USAToday - the top selling book this month in 1993 is Twilight by Stephanie Meyer... its about vampire love. Awww..... I wonder if THAT is the safest sex you can have....
@ Gina:
Not if you're Angel and Buffy. What with that curse and all...
First link that's listed under a yahoo search for '1993 best selling book about sex':
Kids First Book About Sex
Well I guess everyone has to start somewhere.
those aren't cherries- they're his dingleberries, which she fancies she has complete control of. (and maybe she does.)