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November 29, 2008 |
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I'm Not Too Fat to Fly
FOUND by ann
in Sydney, Australia
Found at a girls' high school wedged under a table. Very cute, chubby bird flying amongst clouds... and the wonderful one-liner "have a nice life."
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Looks like Michael lost a good one. His loss.
The illustration has a Virginia Lee Burton vibe but I didn't see "Michael, the Egotistical Bastard" among her list of published works.
http://www.houghtonmifflinbooks.com/features/m
I like how mean she is.... "the egotisical bastard" .... "have a nice life" .... you can almost hear her say a**hole after that...
Wow, this is really great! Especially when you compare it to the typical high school notes on this site.
What a cute bird. I hope Micheal is ashamed of himself, although I'd wager he probably isn't. A good Find for a Saturday morning.
perhaps i read far too much into it, but what if it turns out michael was really worried about the person's weight in regards to flying; airline flying that is.
dang they have strict weight regulation limits today. what if mike was trying to sneak them on? hide them in the luggage?
*the bird is tres cute
"Too fat to fly" really sums up how I feel sometimes. Good on her!
How is she mean? She's wishing him a nice life, and she's calling him an egotistical bastard. There's a compliment if ever I heard one.
She's probably a porker.
If this was found in a girls' highschool, obviously Michael never got it, unless he works there. (Which is creepy.) And it's a shame he didn't, it's a good note.
I too am not too fat to fly. We can all fly in our hearts, no matter what size. It's guys like Michael who can't be tall without cutting someone else's head off, who are the emotional dwarfs.
Not to mention asswholes.
I bet he told her that in order for him to accept her prom-date, she had to lose x number of pounds first.
He needs a life.
John Madden on the other hand, is too fat to fly.....and won't.
Yay for her. I'm years beyond high school, and I wish I had half of her self-esteem.
Fly, baby, fly.
Well, I just fractured fifteen bones jumping off the garage roof. Don't know if fat is the problem, but I sure can't fly.
Mike has always been an "egg-a-tistical" bastard!
Girl, you need to just tell him before you fly you have to get laid!
@baby basil -- better to be an asswhole instead of a half ass! I always spell asshole that way! It's the best way to indicate someone is a TOTAL ass!!!
...yea but you're not phat enough to be fly for Michael
...PS Lay off the "Peeps" those little yellow birds ain't diet food....
What's that about P.R.I.D.E.?
Badass.
michael, michael, michael... when she asks you, "does this make me look fat?" the answer is ALWAYS "no."
she should have got naked with him, pointed at his crotch, broken into hysterical laughter, gathered her clothes and walked out laughing the whole way. then start giggling every time she saw him from then on; if she could get her friends to laugh too, all the better.
I imagine that in Michael's world, she was good enough to f*ck, as long as she didn't tell anyone, and no one saw them together.. because she was "embarassingly" rotund. He just assumed that she'd always hang around, because she "needed" him..
Forget you, Michael. Plenty of fishies for that little Bird.
@Kwyncee. My goal is to never have to answer the fat question again, so my most recent reply was "Compared to what?"
Yes, I'm lucky to be alive.
Well then, go take a flying leap!
Have a nice day,
Michael
Right on, Birdie. Right on.
...Too fat to ZIP my fly...
This is a sweet way to flip Michael the bird.
I LOVE THIS!
Dont get me wrong people. But I can relate to this note. I do Love my boyfriend, but sometimes he makes me feel he dosent have the same love towards me.
My boyfriends name is Michael.
He is also an egotistical bastard.
Everytime I feel I look good, he will always remind me that I have those extra pounds to loose. Im a size 7 he wants a size 1.
@Charisma, start shopping for a new boyfriend. This is not going to get better. If it's not your weight, it'll be something else. He's the type that has to criticise you to feel "big" and superior. This is the beginning of a bad, bad deal. If he has to tear you down, he doesn't love you. I doubt he loves himself, either.
I had a friend in highschool who was a large (as in nearly 6 ft) woman. Yes, she was heavy, but her "boyfriend" kept putting off the wedding saying she should lose a few pounds. He said he was "doing it for her" so she'd "look beautiful." But no matter what, he was never happy with any changes. The wedding got put off, and put off, and put off...until she finally threw the ring in the sewer and moved on.
i love you ann