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December 01, 2008 |
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No One Is White Power
FOUND by sarah
in Santa Cruz, California
This is a little neighbor dispute I found on the sidewalk on my walk home from dinner.
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I Hate You April 27, 2007 |
The Perfect Note June 02, 2002 |
Help Wanted... April 25, 2007 |
Clean Friends ... July 17, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Gooollly! The Nabors next door could have called Andy for help.
@ice9, I was thinking the very same thing! Nabors for neighbours, what a horrifying thought.
I like the way the writing starts small and polite and just gets bigger.
i love how at the end of the letter he has to make clear that he is not drug dealer because he has no money. just because you have no money doesn't mean that you don't make lots of money. just look at most of the people who win the lottery... broke after just a couple of years.
ps, i think it is a guy because i didn't see any "hearts" dotting the "i"s
Damn, was that written by a 5yo?? The spelling and grammar are just terrible... Nabors?? I hope whoever wrote it was under 10 and slow... or mentally handicapped, otherwise i'm disgusted.
I'm glad of one thing... It doesn't end with
CUL8R :)
@ice9, why did Jim Nabors sound so different when he sang than he did when he talked?
@SexyNinjaMonkey, I agree. With his mental abilities, the writer probably has the option of selling drugs or spending his life doing manual labor for minimum wage.
Don't forget: No one is white power, either! LOLZ!!
Did the Nabors call the police or not? Is this an apology aimed at forestalling the phone call to the authorities? Or was it prompted by a suggestion from one of the officers of the law?
Was the person writing the note an adult? A 5th grader? Somewhere in between?
@ Geek ... I always thought that Jim Nabors was always putting on his Gomer Pyle accent, and that the singing voice was his "real" voice.
I'm thinking the neighbors/Nabors weren't particularly reassured by this note. White power drug dealers who don't know when to shut up are a drag to have in the neighborhood.
Mr. Rogers, on the other hand, would have been an excellent guy to have on the block.
What is this note written on, anyway? A form of some sort, I know. I am sure someone out there is more awake than me and can 'splain.
I hope the Nabors got a kick out of this note. I would, if it had been left for me.
Yeah...I'm not going to approach three guys who look to be some kind of white power, skinhead types and tell them to shut the fuck up.
When dealing with rowdy skinheads, I find it best to throw dictionaries and black people at them.
I wonder what the inconvenience was that this poor speller and his/her three uninvited guests caused out in the street?
Thrown trash cans? Repeated car alarms caused by sitting on parked autos? Flashing lights and sirens from the police each time they were called?
And why hasn't anyone suggested that this Find should have been sent to Passive-Agrressive dot com (or whatever it is)? I'm thinking the whole thing could have been written tongue in cheek. (hey, next time, instead of calling the coppers come down here and tell us to our faces!!)
@sammy davis jr, i think it's written on a police report. not that i would know what a disturbing the peace police report looks like. uh-huh. not me.
"hey officer, thompson, how are you? good to see you again, sir. hey... i thought you said you didn't want to come back here tonight!"
The form looks like a delivery van slip: mileage, shift, HQ, vehicle number, etc. Nope, sorry, just spotted, yes it's a police form. Given the operator, location, complaint, "work done and remarks" (love that one), etc.
I too lived with a neighbour on one side who was all too quick to call the police. Her idea of "noise" was anything she could hear emanating from our house while standing in *our* yard, or any sound from our yard she could catch while standing just behind the hedge that grew along the property line. The police got so tired of her that once they showed up in *her* driveway and offered to take *her* downtown for wasting police time! (Not to mention her habit of letting her nasty little dog defecate on other people's property in the night and leaving the "gift" behind.)
It looks to me like the police understood the writer's dilemma and gave him the report-slip to write a note on. "Tell us we're bothering you and we'll go inside--how do you expect us to read your mind, you old coot?" Maybe they thought that the police "stationery" would give weight to the request, so they let the falsely-accused use it.
However, it doesn't take psychic powers to realize you are being a nuisance if you have a loud argument or party or whatever. Use your common sense! If the nabors called the police, things were probably out of hand.
the point of this clearly.. is that they have no money, and therefore they dont sell drugs. because clearly the drug industry is a very lucrative business..
i wonder why the Nabors dont realize that?
Wait! Are some of you saying that an illiterate policeman wrote this?
Or is it that the officer told the kid, "Look, I'll let you off this time, but I want you to write an apology on this piece of paper and hand it to the Nabors in the morning. Now go inside and quiet down."
The movie version goes like this -
A bunch of illiterate Skinhead Aryan Nation drug dealing punks move next door to a Bronson/Eastwood/Rambo-esque/Samual L Jackson - serial killer. Tiring of their coy politeness and illegible notes the killer decides to reduce noise and inconvenience, and drug dealing, in a formerly nice, but now decaying neighborhood. He then hunts them down, Predator-style, one by one. Ultimately, each is dragged back to the serial killers humble abode, flayed and eaten. The economy comes back. Home prices go back up and the neighborhood returns to it's former self no one the wiser to their demise.
Turbo, FTW!
@ Hiplainsdrifter ... Please tell me he probably wasn't a serial killer until the new Nabors drove him to it. Vigilante-style justice just isn't the same if there are pre-existent complications. (Reporter: "People who knew him all described him as 'quiet and unassuming'.")
@Librarian - Sorry to disappoint but he had been living in quiet repose, minding his own business for years, in retirement as a former high school english teacher, and just wasn't getting his serial beauty sleep> The notes poor spelling and grammar finally pushed him over the edge (like all our vengeful heroes) and he just went BERSERK!!!
(sorry lifted the last part from Billy Jack)
It looks to me like the Nabors live next to some annoying neighbors. So, it's up the the Nabors to tell the neighbors when they're being loud and obnoxious? How about some personal responsibility, huh?
On the other hand, the Nabors probably ruffled some feathers when they went and made that veiled drug dealing accusation.
My only response to this piece of illiterate doggerel is a childrens verse, inspired by the 5th line where it looks like it says "we willy".
WEE WILLIE WINKIE
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town.
Upstairs and downstairs, in his nightgown.
Rapping at the window, crying through the lock.
"Are the children in their beds? Now it's eight O'clock."
I found this note hysterical, perhaps because of a naive belief that anyone who:
1. was that illiterate ("nabor?" SERIOUSLY?)
2. was that self aware (knowing your appearance might make people think you are a drug-dealing racist gangster AND that you and your friends routinely behave in a manner that deserves a sincere "shut the fuck up!" -- hence the "always") and
3. was illiterate and choose to look like a drug-dealing racist gangster, but still wrote [or attempted to write] this apology must be sincere.
And *that* is hysterical.
If this was my Find, I would have totally titled it "Troubleman".
Also, I'm a lil jealous (or is that envious?)of Sarah being able to walk home from dinner.
perhaps one of the "nuisances" was a police officer, and therefore had easy access to the forms!
OMG, Hiplainsdrifter! I love Billy Jack!
I used to live in an apartment complex a few years ago and we had this crazy Nabor downstairs. She once called the cops on my husband (then boyfriend) and I and said we were arguing and she thought he was beating me cause it sounded like he was throwing me around the apartment. We were both doing homework at the time and didn't even have the tv or radio on. It was ridiculous. She should have wrote us an apology note for that.
@Lauren: exactly what I'm talking about. The fact that someone calls the police on you does not mean necessarily that your "offense" merited police attention. And most officers will ask the caller if they have actually spoken to the noisy neighbours about the problem first. Sometimes, as the note says, a quiet request to hold it down is sufficient. If you feel threatened by the response, or they crank it up even louder, then by all means call the cops. If your neighbour had rung your doorbell she wouldn't have made a fool of herself with her imaginings.
Hey Nabors.. We are Totally NOT drug dealers, and also Not White power.. can't you see, there's no evidence of that whatsoever. Everything over here is totally innocent. We're just a bunch of peace loving nabors. Just go about your business, and don't mind us at all. Nothing to see here.. move along, move along.
I should sell drugs... I need money.
I don't know about these guys, I mean they say $$$$ with dollar signs. They could very well in fact be drug dealing gangsters ahem...wanksters.
PS: The Nabors have been watching too much of Edward Norton and his "posse" in American History X.
that spelling is downright sexy