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April 05, 2008 |
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Low-down Seducer
FOUND by Scott Illingworth
in DePaul University, Chicago, Illinois
A co-worker of mine found this note tucked into an empty leather bound journal. The journal was among a pile of items left behind after the school year ended.
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Gang Aft Agley August 11, 2006 |
Last Warning February 15, 2004 |
In Other Words June 09, 2002 |
Karen's Guide January 04, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
» The BBC's Jamillah Knowles mixes it up with the FOUND crew after a show in London (starts 1/3 of the way through)!
» We're hopping on a plane and jetting to Europe for our Fall 2008 Euro Tour!
you are all these things and I am the first one today.
sing it, Aretha!
i shall never need a thesaurus again.
this may become this teacher's favorite find.
@night: up to 100% on q2.
This teacher also loves this find. I feel like I need to print it up and keep it in my wallet for all those times I can't come up with a decent comeback quite quickly enough.
And your point is...?
At first I thought the last word was "seducee," which made me wonder what the writer thought of him/herself?
(All those lines on the paper and they HAD to write HALF the message in the top margin?? how annoying.)
It really sucks when you give it up to a complete asswhole, doesn't it? Poor Girl. You're young; you'll get over it.
Looks like they've been collecting insults from Jane Austen or Bronte novels ('Unhand me, you low-down seducer!')
Appears to me the teachers may have been getting scrumpy during their free periods. I doubt a student could come up with this wonderful description of a cad. Hah! That's one she missed.
Just found out that one may only have nine favorite finds. Boo on you, oh limited list. May I trade a few favorite websites for more favorite finds? I was hoping to use the favorite in lieu of the bookmark/favorites associated with the browser. Oh, well.
these could notes taken during a lecture on calvinism.
I have some that are similar.
Very operatic. (All sounds better in Italian, or Russian!)
Donna Elvira to Don Giovanni.
Lensky to Eugene Onegin.
In Donizetti's 'Maria Stuarda', Mary Stuart calls Queen Elizabeth I a 'vil bastarda', which is pretty good as operatic insults go.
Alas, I suspect this was an English exercise rather than genuine invective.
(@Ancient Vivi if you're reading this: it could well be a quote from 'Irene Iddesleigh', that deathless work of literature to which you introduced me.)
Jonathan: everything sounds better in Italian. Remember what moved Wanda in A Fish Called Wanda???
Everything sounds even better in a British accent spoken by a tall bassoon player.
Ho ho. Well, I do play a tall bassoon.
(Is that a bassoon in your bag or... Would you like a cup of tea?)
0_o is the last line: "You low down seduces"?
DEAR SALT?
More tea, Vicar?
I haven't had so much fun since Maj. Houlihan called Maj. Winchester a PROCURER!
"You disgrace and defile the proud rank of Major, Major!"
Baby Basil: this made me think of M*AS*H too! I was reminded of the time that BJ and Hawkeye got Frank drunk and he passed out and they put a toe tag on him that said 'emotionally exhausted and morally bankrupt'.
And here you all are again! And even Salt is here.
This Find must be old. If it was written today it would have said, "You are a player."
You are all these things and somehow I still want you.
Amoral?
or a moral?
Either way, it doesn't make sense. Maybe the writer should learn how to spell immoral... or perhaps construct sentences properly?
Amoral is actually a word. Means that you are neither moral or immoral- but lacking the ability to feel and be either.
Reminds me of that song from The Grinch w/ all the insults in it.
Hah. Kind of like asexual...
I feel idiotic now.
Most definitely.
wow. I woulda just said "FUCK YOU!"
so..what? 2 finds of the day on april 5th?
oh..nevermind, I guess that's been happening for awhile. I just didn't notice.
This has student spurned by professor all over it. In fact, I witnessed a conversation much like this when I was a waitress during my college years. Older professor is having an affair with young co-ed. He decides to call it quits during a high-class meal, hoping she'll behave nicely because of the surroundings. She calls his bluff, shrieks at him, and makes quite the scene. Great stuff! Made a slow night go by quickly.
I love it!
Debaucher,cad, roue, womanizer, woman chaser, skirt-chaser, lady killer, playboy, philanderer, heartbreaker, Don Juan Casanova, Lothario, Romeo, lover-boy, wolf, letch.
School has gotten way more dramatically interesting, it appears, since I last attended. Cruel, heartless, mean-spirited! We just used to say, "Hey, face on you, asshole." But we were not merely as literary, I guess.
I hope this wasn't a note written to the author him/herself
I always kinda thought of it as: amoral= no values or morals whatsoever; immoral= "baaaad" values and morals...
How do you guys feel about the posting of two finds a day? I think it takes away from one another. The comments are fewer, that's fo sho.
I thought it was written to the president, until I got to the last line. To the best of my knowledge, that's the only one doesn't fit character...
There's that missing page from my diary.
This struck me as a reminder of possible insults rather than a note written to someone else. Or, perhaps, a note never meant to be sent, just venting.
@ sarasara... I had the same initial reaction!
@ shelly UK -- I'm not so sure how I feel about it...
- I thought 1/day wasn't quite enough (unless it was really, thought-provoking, or leading to great exchanges.
- But now I have a really hard time keeping track of 2 a day.
- Maybe 1-1/2 a day would be good? (I *told* you I had problems with higher math!)
ALAS - I confess. Long ago, I dated this guy too. This is a transcript of reading my mind. *sigh*
Smallbear, you got me.
the handwriting gets more and more flustered as she goes on. the way she writes "You are amoral, corrupt & depraved," almost looks sweet. by the time she gets to "You are treacherous, despicable , and vilely contemptible," i'm ready to believe it.
I imagine the 2-finds-a-day thing is primarily a practical way of coping with the sheer number of submissions 'FOUND' gets. I quite like it, anyway.
My guess is that it's a Character study.
Possibly from someone actually playing the role, or possibly from an English class.
I have one about Hermia from grade 12 that reads, "Snobby, whiney, impatient, irrational, hot-tempered, a flirt."
Now, I'd wager the character's Shakespearian, can we guess who?
Iago?
Aaron the Moor?
Gony or Reagan?
Yup, sounds like Iago to me.
Not Iago. Hammy's stepfather/uncle Claudius.
Gotta love those role-playing games!
Great words!! Fantastic vocab!
Its not just a note to our current president, but to our last three... It fits all the negative character traits of Bush, Clinton, and Little Bush all in one convenient list. Remember, its not g-d bless America, its Gd America... If our next one says anything like what his long-time pastor has, the list should continue to describe our presidents nicely.
I almost expected this note to be signed "Sincerely, I say, Foghorn Leghorn"
Reminds me of cramming every one of the weekly vocab words into the same sentance back in high school.
Wow.
This is pretty funny.
I hope they feel better. (: